This was written in response to the SmartGroups song-fic challenge issued by Marg – to "adapt" the song Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings to our heroes from Stalag 13.
As usual, no claim is made on the characters from the Hogan's Heroes universe.
So put on your headphones, put on the song by Sir Paul, and enjoy!
Featured Track – Banned from the Fun
(To the tune of Band on the Run, Paul McCartney and Wings)
-Stage Announcer-
This is the story of prisoners Richard Baker and Vladimir "Sam" Minsk and their frustration with constantly being left out of the fan fiction stories.
-lights dim, spotlight appears illuminating Richard Baker-
-music starts, slow tempo-
-Baker-
Stuck inside this tunnel,
Seemingly forever,
Hardly seeing no one,
Missed again ... By you ... Authors ...
You ... Authors ... you
-music transitions - spotlight moves to illuminate Sam Minsk-
-Minsk-
If I ever get noticed here,
Think I'll go and faint dead away,
Not asking for charity,
All I need is a line a day,
If I ever get noticed here,
-Spotlight illuminates both men-
-Baker and Minsk-
If we ever get noticed here.
-music transitions again-
-spotlight illuminates the rest of the prisoners, playing various instruments-
-Carter-
Well the bridge exploded with a mighty crash
As we broke into a run.
And old Newkirk said as we got out of there,
I hope you're having fun.
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
And that Baker man, and Russian Sam,
Were nowhere to be found
-Baker and Minsk-
'Cause we're banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun.
-Newkirk-
Well the fiction writer drew a heavy sigh
Seeing no one else around.
So he wrote down the name of a new character
And the high jinx do abound
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
And that Baker man, and Russian Sam,
Were nowhere to be found
-Baker and Minsk-
'Cause we're banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun.
-LeBeau-
Well the night was falling as the prison camp
Began to settle down.
In the town we're sipping on our steins of beer,
But they never will be found.
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun.
-Hogan-
Do the readers care
If they are there?
I doubt that they'll be found.
-Baker and Minsk-
'Cause we're banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun,
Banned from the fun.
