Unspoken
By Miko Sorrow
Summary: Those words that were never spoken were the words that she's ever wanted to hear coming out of his lips. But tragedy occurs and they just never had much of a chance... KagomexSesshoumaru
Genre: Tragedy/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Music Note: 'Graduation' by Vitamin C
---
She couldn't remember how it happened, only that it did. Her memory seemed to be washed away from her mind, which at that time was unwilling to store anything. It was simply horrible.
All she knew that their friendship had ended in that single moment, when he had said those words that had hurt her so much. She didn't know that it had hurt him as well, maybe even more than she was.
Now her memory only provided her the muted scenes of the day that it had happened, she saw his lips moving, his blood red eyes that had once been such a beautiful color of gold, but, as desperately as she willed her mind to make sounds of the pictures, it was all silent. The memories continued to play like a film without sound.
I thought that we were going to last for all eternity, but I was wrong and these memories just keep on haunting me...
She remembered running up the stairs to her room after she had gotten back home, ignoring her mother's pleas for an answer to the multiple questions she had asked about what had happened. She remembered running all the way to her bed and collapsing on it, continuing to cry her eyes out until she ran out of tears and finally fell asleep in the soft confines of her bed, but she just couldn't feel anything anymore.
And it must have been the dream she had that moment that had erased her memory of the events.
She was running, but the voices seemed to be everywhere she went, driving her into a crazed frenzy to escape whatever that was forever haunting her.
The hot tears raced down her cheek and flew into the wind, making crystal like trails in the air as she ran down the darkened road to what she hoped was freedom.
But oh how wrong she was.
It only brought upon more and more horror as the road got darker until it was merely pure black
And then the pain came.
It was not physical pain, but emotionally, and it hurt so much more than anything else she had encounter before in her young life.
She could feel herself cracking and breaking, and she sobbed loudly, hoping that someone, anyone, would save her from this heartbreaking pain.
And her unsaid prayers were unexpectedly answered.
A blinding light pierced through the darkness that seemed to roll off the place in waves, and what seemed like an angel descending upon her petit form, the light emanating off it killing off any darkness that was left until the empty space was only a soft grayness.
"W-who are you?" She whispered hesitantly, her eyes wide and the leftovers of her tears that had lingered in her eyes glistened, "are you an angel?"
The figure smiled and shook her head, her black hair bouncing around her.
"I am a miko," the figure said, "as you are yourself."
"What's a miko?" The girl asked, still shaken from earlier, "my mommy never told me anything about me being a miko."
"She doesn't know child," the figure said, the kind smile still plastered on her face, "no one in your family knows."
"Oh, what's your name?" She asked after a while, having been wondering the question for a while.
"It is Midoriko, child," was her answer.
"Oh," the girl said again dumbly, not knowing what else to say.
"Child," Midoriko started finally, "you have experienced more pain than most children your age. And the protector can't be tainted.
"I can take away your pain, but you have to pay that with all memories of today. Do you accept." It was more of a command than a question.
And so she was silent.
"It shall be quite tiring mind you, to have your memories taken away, so, be prepared." With those last words, Midoriko disappeared and the darkness was there once more.
She stood there in silence once more until Midoriko's voice came once more.
"It starts Kagome!"
And she groaned as her head started to swirl and exhaustion washed over her. She fainted without another thought.
---
She groaned as she sat up, staring around at her surroundings, she found that she wasn't in her original room anymore.
She eyed the white walls and saw the medical equipments lining the whole room until her eyes landed on her mother's sleeping form at the corner of the room.
'Am I in a hospital?' She asked herself, and one last look at the room confirmed her thoughts, 'yep, definitely.'
She sighed in exhaustion, and brought her eyes to her mother when she stirred from her sleep.
"Kagome? Kagome!" Her mother cried when she saw her daughter was awake, "oh I was so worried!"
"What happened mama?" Kagome asked meekly, "I can't remember..."
"Hush, it's ok," her mother assured, "you were out for three days Kagome. When you came home three days ago, you had a fever while you were sleeping, so I sent you here to the hospital, the doctors said you would be fine, but when you woke up, you would have some very minor memory lost."
"Oh."
"Sleep, Kagome, you must be exhausted, I will inform the doctor that you have awaken," her mother said softly as her daughter yawned, "you'll probably be ready to go home when you wake."
"Yes, mama. Night."
Can't think, can't move, can't do anything.
---
He just sat on his chair in silence, ignoring Inuyasha's accusations and his father's arrival.
He blocked out all Inuyasha's ranting and his father's questions until he could take no more of the irritating pair and slam the door in their faces.
He moved upon his bed and sat down with a loud thump, a dazed look still on his face since it had happened.
His eyes were now back to their rich golden orbs, aside from the red hue it had been when he had lost control and hurt her.
And it hurts so much on his part as reality finally came raining down on him and his once dazed expression was replaced with on of horrified sorrow.
His eyelids closed upon the golden orbs as he tried to block out the liquid substance that had been absent for so many years.
But now they had come back, and it was because of her.
Two promises had been broken in an instant.
And the tears flew down his face, his eyes still closed.
So cry me a river.
---
He was out of control, everything was just a hazy red for him, and he couldn't even hear what he was saying.
He didn't even feel his own lips moving.
It was like he was under mind control, and the real him was sent into a room whose walls were bloody red and there were no mirrors...
He couldn't control himself at the time.
And now he's paying for it with her friendship.
He had hurt her, not just emotionally, but physically as well. He could still taste her sweet blood from where he had pushed her into the wall.
And he could still hear her cries, her sobs, her pleas for him to stop and be himself again.
But then he didn't hear her, somehow he just knew. He just knew that she needed help right then and he was the one that can give it to her.
Yet he didn't.
And he had left her alone, breaking his promise in the process, to fend for herself against him.
He didn't know what he was doing, he didn't remember until now, when it just came raining down on him harshly.
She shouldn't have come, she never should have known him.
She wouldn't have to feel the pain she does now if she didn't. She wouldn't have to endure losing a friend. And he called himself her best friend...
He should have left her alone.
---
His dreams were plagued by the memories of that day. Memories he's never known until he dreamt of them.
Or rather, it was a nightmare.
If I could take everything back, I would.
She had come to his room, only trying to help him. She was trying to comfort him because his second mother had died, and it affected him almost just as much as when his real mother passed away.
She wasn't there then, and he had turned out horribly emotionless, even she couldn't change that.
But this time, she was here, and Kami knows what would have happened if she wasn't. But he would rather have the pain on himself instead of her.
Now it's too late and he's already lost everything that was important, two mothers and now her.
Was he fated to be alone for all eternity?
I feel so alone...
He had lost control and pushed her hard into the wall, her blood still lingered. And she had run, after a plea to him to go away and never touch her.
Most importantly, even before that, he had told her that he didn't need her friendship, didn't need a ningen for a friend, and that she was useless.
That was a total lie on his part and he knew it. If only she knew as well...
He told her to that he never wanted to see her again.
And now she's gone, probably forever. It was all because that he had lost control. He was supposed to be strong. Everything's just so overwhelming.
I just can't feel anymore, don't know what to do.
He continued to cry silently, the only thought in his mind was her name.
Kagome...
---
She sat in the chair beside the room that her mother was in.
Her tearstained face was downtrodden, as she awaited the news. Her eyes were red and puffy as she glanced towards the room across from the one that her mother situated.
'Father...'
How could they have been so unfortunate? Why did it have to be them? Why?
She knew that if it wasn't them, it would have been someone else, but she just couldn't help but think why? She knew that she was being selfish, wishing their unfortunate life upon someone else instead.
Everything is so wrong. Life is so wrong...
"Sister Sango?" She heard a voice call out, and immediately turned around, her tears flying out in the process.
She was met with the worried brown orbs of her little brother, holding a comfort blanket in his hands.
"Yes Kohaku?" She choked out, trying her best to keep from breaking down again.
"Are they going to be ok?" Was her brother's ever so innocent reply.
"I don't know, I just don't know anymore..."
And again the desire to break down was forcefully resisted as each word detangled itself from her mouth.
They didn't deserve it. Why couldn't it have been someone else instead?
"Let's rest Kohaku, we have a big day tomorrow," somehow she just knew.
"Ok sister." And he climbed onto one of the chair, closing his tired little eyes.
Don't know what to think about it anymore...
---
She awoke to the morning's first streaks of sunlight, knowing full well that waking up so early was extremely unhealthy to her person. But she just HAD to know the results of the operation that was necessary for her parent's survival.
Tears were already starting to fill her chocolate colored eyes as the feeling of dread started to spread around her heart like wildfire once again.
She looked to the sleeping form of her five year old brother, and sighed in envy at his whole obliviousness to the current tragic situation.
Suddenly, little strips of memories from before flashed through her mind.
I'm sorry sir, but I cannot let you go through, this is a strictly convicted area.
She grimaced as the image of the drunken man resurfaced her mind.
Get out of the way! My son and daughter have been taken hostage! Calm down!? What do you mean clam down!? How can you say that! I can't believe my own wife is refusing me my children! Sango! Kohaku!
Hot tears fell down her cheeks as she remembered how frantic her father had been and how her mother had tried to calm him and herself down the best she could.
Don't shout! You'll only serve to make the robber even more frantic! He's drunk and he probably doesn't know what he's doing! If you set him off, he'll not only kill our children, he'll kill the other hostages too!
That's all you care about?! Other people's life and not our children's?
No, that's not what I mean! Listen to me! Go home! The other officers and I will take care of things here!
No! I can't just leave my wife and children in danger! I'm not going to leave until I see Sango and Kohaku safe!
Why can't you trust me?
Please! Don't hurt them! They're all that's left for us! Just leave, please! If you do not hurt anyone, everything would be ok.
No! Get away from him! Don't touch him! Leave us alone!
Shut up brat or I'll blow up your brains!
Stay back! Don't come any closer or I'll shoot!
Ah! Help me! Mommy! Daddy!
Don't!
AH!
Goodbye, my love...
Everything seemed to overload and the young girl couldn't help but let out a scream of frustration, terror, sorrow, and pain as she broke down, waking her brother in the process.
"Sister Sango! What's wrong?" Kohaku asked.
'It's all of my fault, I should have been more careful, I shouldn't have requested to go with them, I should have taken better care of myself, I should have been watching out for Kohaku...'
And everything just seems so frustrating, I just can't take it...
'I don't deserve to be alive! I don't deserve to be unharmed! I don't deserve to be here! I should br the one that is dieing!'
Everything is just horrible, Kami take me away!
"Sister! Answer me! Help me!" Kohaku began to call for help.
'I could have saved them, I could have saved them all, I could have saved mommy, I could have saved daddy, I could have been braver, I could have been there for them...'
I feel so much like a trapped soul, please grant my only wish...
"It's all my fault."
---
Save me, please...
---
She found herself sitting in a chair again, still in the hospital, with Kohaku once again beside her.
But now he was crying as well.
They've lost them.
And she couldn't stop the salt liquid trails that traveled down her already wet cheeks. They've lost them forever to the beyonds.
Now they've only got each other. What if the adoption separates them as well?
Why?
---
Miroku cried out, and sat up in bed staring in horror at his palm. He had had the dream again, or rather, nightmare. The one that had haunted his whole family for decades, except his was different, the outcome was always the same.
He stood on the edge of the cliff, having nowhere to go and hordes of youkai before him.
Some people stood behind him, but he couldn't see who they were, only that they were struggling.
"No! You can't! You're hurt!" He heard a female voice call out to him, "I can't lose you!"
"Sango! Let them take care of this for now, you're even more hurt! Don't worry, we'll try to take care of him." Another female's voice said, obviously trying to reassure the one called Sango.
"No Kagome! We all have to be there to help! Inuyasha and Miroku can't hold them off forever. And if we're going to die, we're going to die together!"
"I know Sango, but it works so much better if you're more well, rest for a while right now, I'm pretty sure that they can hold the youkai off for a while, I'll take care of you while they battle, Naraku never shows up and they probably wouldn't have any more trouble than before."
"I can feel it! We're so near the final! And this might very well be it! I know you feel it too Kagome! We have to be there!"
"We will! This I promise you! Now rest."
Miroku felt himself sigh when he heard no more voices behind him and focused on the battle at hand.
A silver haired hanyou was already down on the battle field, swinging a gigantic fang-like sword at the offending youkai, successfully exterminating the ones that were in range of his attacks.
The sword seemed to have special powers to it as streaks of light shot out at the enemies every time he swung it at the ground.
"Hey monk! Don't just stand there! Help me already!" He heard the hanyou yell before jumping down to join the battle...
---
He felt dull as the blood spilled from the wound on his right shoulder, which was momentarily rendered useless.
The other fighters around him were in similar situations, and some of them were still trying fend off the bloodthirsty youkai.
His eyes traveled to his palm, which had been vibrating for the past few days, signaling that the Kazaana might break any moment, sending him and his friends to their possible death.
'Why not?' He thought unconsciously as his other hand grasped the prayer beads, 'if we're going to die, I might as well take down as many as I can.'
He looked around at his friends, who seemed to be slowing down dramatically.
'Maybe I can save them, if only I can hold off long enough. They would have a chance unless the real 'him' comes...
'It's worth a try.'
He brought saddened eyes to his companions, and whispered a silent goodbye that not even the hanyou had caught before once again facing the front once again, his eyes set into determination, he grasped the beads tighter and began to unwrap it.
"Kazaana!" He yelled as loudly as he could and let the beads loose, making the purple cloth loose as well.
A vortex that appeared to be puncture in his hands began to suck in air viciously, and soon youkai were yelling as they flew up into the air and into the Kazaana.
He caught the attention of his companions when he had yelled, and they all turned horrified eyes on him.
"Miroku! You idiot! Do you have a death wish!?" The hanyou Inuyasha yelled at him, trying not to sound concerned.
"Miroku! Wrap it back! If you don't, it's going to absorb you!"
He heard Kagome's and Inuyasha's frantic cries but chose to ignore them all.
Everyone was yelling at him except for one youkai exterminator, who just seemed to stand there with her bone boomerang Hiraikotsu on the ground beside her, staring at him horrified and frozen.
He felt the rip get larger as time passed, and he knew of his fate, yet he still continued, until-
"NO!"
He strained to turn towards the source of the voice, and saw the youkai exterminator running towards him with tearful eyes, and he felt his own purple orbs soften.
"You can't do this! Don't you understand?!" She pleaded him, but he remained silent.
"Listen to me! Stop! Please!" She continued, but he just stared straight ahead, avoiding her, and that broke her heart, "don't you understand? I love you!"
That certainly caught his attention as he immediately swung his head to look at her with amazement clear in his eyes.
"I really do!" The slayer continued, "please, stop what you're doing!"
"I'm sorry," he finally spoke, "but I can't, I hope you can live a happy life without me." He turned his hands to the ground as he felt the rip get completely out of control.
"Run!" He immediately screamed at her, "it is time! Run and do not look back! Remember me always... And know that I love you too!"
Kazaana sucked all the surrounding lands as Miroku stationed his hand towards the ground, he glanced at the direction of his beloved, saw her tears one last time, and he could see no more afterwards.
---
Things are just going so wrong. So please help me.
Just can't get you out of my head. So please forget me not...
---
End Chapter
Author's Notes:
I'm really sorry for any possible grammar and spelling mistakes, but I just couldn't help but upload this as quickly as possible! But please note that the next chapter will not come out as quickly as this one did, because it is not yet written. I might be able to update only weekly, since the only time I have is the weekends. Wish me luck with a review? It really encourages authors you know...
I suddenly realized that I did not have a disclaimer for my prologue chapter and I apologize, I will make one now and please know that this is going to be valid for all my other chapters as well.
Disclaimer:
I do not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters in the anime/manga. That job is left for Rumiko Takahashi. But I do own everything else in this story! So suing is not needed just incase you had someone on your mind... I only have 600 NTD anyway. That's only a bit by the way (25 NTD is 1 dollar Canadian, I don't know the american amount though).
Next Chapter:
Chapter III: Never Say Never
Status: Not yet written (11/16/2004)
