The End
Severus awoke feeling colder than usual. He opened his eyes and stared blankly at the other half of the bed, which was unusually empty for this time of the morning. He finally looked away and got out of bed, stepped into the shower and let the hot water rush over his body. He didn't linger though. He had some place to be.
He dressed quickly and strode out of his chambers. He walked into the Great Hall but it remained empty, therefore he walked out to the lake. He closed his eyes and immediately felt that something was wrong. Today was not a good day.
"Albus," Severus said, storming into the Head Master's office.
"Severus. Would you care for a lemon drop? Or perhaps something a bit stronger…" he added when he noticed the grief on the younger man's face.
"Sir, Professor Ridler is gone."
Dumbledore's eyes lost their twinkle for only a brief moment, but the moment felt like an eternity to Severus.
"She left you this," he said, handing Severus a note. He frowned at the letter in his hand, arms shaking.
"Where is she?" he demanded suddenly.
"She didn't say. She does care about you, Severus. Don't be so blinded that you forget to realise that."
Severus slammed his fists onto the table in frustration, then crumpled the letter in his hand and walked out of the room. He went to his Chambers without realising it, threw the letter onto the table and crawled back into bed. It felt extraordinarily large and empty.
Severus stayed in bed for two days. He knew that he was being childish, knew that he had responsibilities not only to his job but also to his students. He didn't care.
Halloween morning he got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to make something to eat. His eggs stuck to his throat and his coffee tasted like dirty water, but he knew that if he didn't eat something, he was going to die. Not that it mattered anymore.
He stared at the crumpled up piece of parchment on his table, contemplating as to whether or not he should open it. He finally picked it up and broke the seal, slowly unfolded it and read the unfamiliar handwriting. He realised at that point that he had never seen Kali's writing before.
Severus,
I wish I could explain everything to you, but this must be kept in the deepest confidence. I should have told you before, but I couldn't. I'm a coward and I didn't want to lose you. I couldn't bear to see the look in your eyes when you realised what I was telling you.
I'll explain everything when I return, I promise. I can't tell you where I am or what I'm doing, but I should be gone only a month. I can't ask you not to be angry with me, that would be ridiculous, but I do ask you to try to understand. I can't imagine what you must be thinking right now.
I will come back, Severus, and when I do, I'll make it up to you. I understand the pain that you're feeling, as I feel it too. Today is not a good day.
All my love and with the deepest apologies,
Kali Ridler
Severus stared silently at the note. His forearm burned intensely, but none of that mattered anymore. She was gone. Everything that he wanted, needed, had ever cared for had left him. He walked back to his room, took a sleeping drought and slept for the next week.
When he finally awoke, he made a vow never to love again. He concentrated all of his efforts into the meetings, finding out every bit of information that he could and being careful to relay that information to the Head Master. All of his waking moments were filled with potions and books, and he never allowed his mind to wander. It felt like being a teenager all over again.
Despite the fact that all of his energy went into forgetting about her, he often felt like she was there, watching him. While doing his Christmas shopping, he could have sworn that he saw her, watching him from behind a shop window. The memory pained him more than any spell had ever done and he swore never to buy another Christmas present.
His teaching became very strict, to the point where the students no longer respected him. The quality of their work decreased and he found that they feared him more than they feared making mistakes. With time he became the most bitter, sarcastic, cruel, hated man in the school. That didn't matter to him anymore.
Nothing mattered.
A/N: Reviews would be nice. A second story, entitled something that I haven't decided on yet, (that's not the title, I was attempting to be funny...) is the relationship from Kali's point of view. Some of the same scenes are repeted, some are not, which makes sense (at least to me) since she would have different favorite memories than Severus, for the most part. It also shows why Kali didn't return, which probably is driving you guys crazy already, so keep in touch and check back often.
Thanks so much for sticking with it.
