"A Tale of Two Stories"
In response to a certain TOS fanfiction by my dear friend
Every story has three sides:
My side
Your side
And the truth
I'm writing you to say"I love you."
I want to show you what I've kept inside that takes control of me
"Jenna! Felix! Get up!" Mom called from downstairs.
"Yes ma'am!" I threw the sheets on the ground and glared at the horizon where the sun hadn't risen yet. I hated getting up that early. A sudden feeling of guilt as I heard a bird sing and realized I should be enjoying the morning and not be so scorn. We were HOME now, I should be HAPPY.
Whatever.
Felix greeted me downstairs in a new tunic.
"G'morning Jenna!" He grinned, mouth full of flapjacks.
:Blaze: I used the candle to burn his remaining stack.
"Hey! Why'd you do that?"
"Bad mood, shut up, shut up NOW."
"Ahwwwwwww… no fair." He pouted.
"Sorry." And I rushed out the door before mom could nag me for not wearing a proper dress. Blagh.
"Jenna! Jenna!" Sheba came stumbling up the path, wide eyed. "Jenna! I'm so glad to see you!" I found myself glomped by the 15 year old squirt.
"What?" I smiled a little. She was so funny- such a needy little child.
"I- I have a crush on someone…" She blushed.
"Really?" I hugged her back, chuckling in the back of my head.
"I-I-" She jumped back and looked around frantically to make sure nobody was listening. "Ivan." She whispered.
I giggled a bit out loud. "All righty then!"
"Shhh! Don't tell ANYONE! I trust you!"
"Got'cha."
"It's just- when ever I'm around him… he's so sweet and cute and… he understands me without reading my mind at all." We walked along. "Sorry to rant so much. I just like him so much."
I smiled 'how cute- little Sheba has a crush on someone –giggle giggle- now I can tease her like she teased me about Isaac. That's a bit mean, but… hee'
"Huh?" She looked up at me.
"what." I stared- deer in the headlights.
"Your mind patterns changed- are you ok?"
"Yeah! I'm fine! I'm just really happy for you!"
She grinned, blushing.
"What are you two whispering about? It better not be another prank!" Felix tapped me on the shoulder.
"Nothing!" I whispered to him once Sheba had run far enough away from him in her shock. "Sheba's having guy problems…"
"Who? Who?"
"I'm not supposed to tell."
"Ok…"
Suddenly there were two strong arms around my waist- picking me up into the air and swinging me in a circle.
"Jenna!"
"Ah! Picard! Stop!" I yelped. We all laughed when he let me fall into the dust.
"Guess what!" He glomped Felix with a kiss.
"Ah! Picard! Not in front of my baby sister!"
"Sorry, Jenna." Picard was still grinning. "But Kyle's holding a party for the anniversary of the bolder."
"That's not… really… something to celebrate…" Felix frowned.
"Come now, if it hadn't happened, I would have never had met you." Picard pecked his cheek teasingly.
"…That's not really something to celebrate." Felix frowned until Picard pouted, then Felix laughed and grabbed Picard tight, kissing him hard.
"Ivan should be there…" I whispered to myself. "My chance to hook up Sheba and Ivan." Grinning, my day just sparked a few percents.
At the party I sat with Sheba until I caught a view of Ivan alone. "I'll… be right back. Stay HERE!"
"o…k?" She looked confused.
I jumped off the chair and waltzed across the room towards Ivan. Through a crowd so Sheba wouldn't follow.
"Jenna! What's up, you had a weird look on your face."
"Ah Felix… remember what I said about Sheba earlier?"
"Yeah..?"
"I'm hunting down Ivan." I winked.
"Ahhhh…"
"Will you help? It'll make her REALLY happy."
"Ok! Let's go get him!" He laughed.
"What's up?" Picard came back with punch. Felix whispered into Picard's ear while Picard nibbled on Felix's. Soon a grin came on Picard's face and he nodded eagerly. We all gave a thumbs up and gave chase.
Well… we caught up with him…
…Kissing Feizi…
…Does that count?
Us three musketeers just looked at each other in sudden shock.
"We can't give up and we can't tell her we saw this…" Picard assured us.
"Right." Felix nodded.
"Yeah…" I looked at my shoes in defeat.
"But we can't keep up, we'll go to Sheba but keep an eye on him. If he's alone, we'll catch him!." Picard grinned.
"Yeah!"
Well… the night was a failure… and Sheba was mad at me for telling Felix and Picard…
I never will believe the things they say to me.
Though sometimes I was left behind, alone here all by myself,
forced to look at you.
After that I gave Sheba a shoulder to cry on and someone to tell her troubles to all the more. She got over Ivan- but 'my bad influence' on her gave her trouble with the inn owners. A lot went wrong.
The inn keepers turned really nasty calling me a delinquent for not dressing or acting lady like. They gave Sheba a lot of hassle for that.
She once decided to become anorexic and complained she was hungry and that people were mean to her for telling her to eat. Saying they were 'prejudice of anorexics.' Really, what kind of weight can Sheba lose? Maybe the whining over stuff she caused in looks for more pity is some dead weight to lose…
She complained she overheated herself on purpose more than three times in a month.
She complained on chest pains so bad she would have had a heart attack at any moment. She was the one worrying herself so much it hurt. I got pains there two- but that's just called 'adolescence.' If it was really that bad- it might very well be that anorexia.
A bit more of a flirty nature grew. Make-up, reveling clothes, flirting with guys and all.
She complained she slept from 22:30 to 6:30 and was sooo tired. Personal clock: 2:30 to 6:15. She only had a pastry for breakfast. My breakfast menu: (find time to put menu here).
Sure- she's a cute little helpless innocent.
But this was a bit much…
And yet…
I still cared, for some reason.
I tried to help you once, against my own advice.
I saw you going down,
but you never realized that you're drowning in the water.
So I offered you my hand,
compassion's in my nature and I just don't wanna be alone.
I may very well be a pervert, so I support gay couples very well. Like withmy brother, for instance, I wish I could get video tapes of him and Picard. Just thinking about it gets me running faster than coffee.
I tended to be a tough little tom boy. Guy's tunics are so much comfier than the over-reveling things girls wore those days. I was tempted to cut my hair short like a guys, but instead just hid it under a ratty old hat.
No matter what Sheba did or how much she complained- I grew dependent on the feeling it gave me to protect her. The surge of strength and power.
I got a high off flirting with her mercilessly- just the feeling of being like a man protecting a lady made me feel strong. I wouldn't be the weak and helpless Jenna that was kidnapped- I didn't want to be remembered like that. I wanted to be strong and renown.
And Sheba made me feel that way.
There were memories I didn't want to remember.
And Sheba covered them.
As long as I had my friend's to protect, I would never fall for a man. A man would only try to dominate me and control me. Change me into his little slut. Just look what those kind of hormones were doing to Sheba!
Born to lose, and we live to win
The cards been dealt
We're placing our bets
Evil has planted it's seed
Patience been taken by greed
Power now a dying need
Bringing us all to our knees
It was late at night and Sheba was staying over again- she stayed over a lot to escape the innkeepers. Despite how she was when she was awake- she looked just as innocent and childish as she did on the adventure while she slept. I laughed a little inside my head.
'If Sheba wants a man that bad- let's see if I can't take the part just for fun. At least until she's cuddly like this again and gets a good man on her side.'
Laughing a little more I touched the girl's childish face. "Awwwwww… she's so cute asleep." I cooed. She twitched and I poked her cheek teasingly to see if she'd wake up. I felt like playing a game.
The world's gone mad, out of it's mind
Don't trust no one, looks can deceive
Faces hidden under the sheet
It got really cold that night- and Sheba had taken up all the blanket. Shivering horribly, I decided to curl up against her back. Sure we've slept in a heap plenty of times on our journey. She was warm, she was my friend, and she made me feel strong. What could possibly go wrong with smothering my arms and face into my best friend's back when she took the sheets?
The next morning I woke up first without even a rude awakening by Felix. I shook Sheba lightly and brushed the hair out of her face. She looked so childish and innocent… so much like then so unlike now… My best friend who I had been so afraid of losing…
"Hummm?" She awoke like a child too, rubbing her eyes with a little yawn. "What?"
"Morning!" I grinned, teasing a lock of her hair in my fingers. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah…" and she fell back asleep against my arm.
"Ok… looks like someone got plenty." I waited until I was sure she was fast asleep before sneaking downstairs and starting breakfast.
Stuck inside a world inside my head
a place where I think too much and no one can touch me
and get me out of the loop
"Jenna!" Isaac ran up to me one day, leaving Garet standing on the front porch alone.
"Hey Isaac, what's up?" I smiled a little, stopping from my walk to the Inn.
"Garet's too afraid to tell you himself." Just then Garet ran inside. "But he likes you."
I jumped up with a grin. One of the very few men I considered fine liked me, whatta surprise!
"He… wants to know if you want to go out."
"Not right now- I need to ask my brother- you know that."
Isaac laughed. "Felix'll eat his insides!"
I chuckled nervously and continued to run to Sheba's- shaking with excitement. But I had to remember my promise. I am strong. I am independent. I only need my friends. I will protect them at all means. Going out is bad.
Yeah… but… this was GARET. Can't I have dreams too? Just one… it isn't too big of a sin, is it? I was quiet- I didn't complain about everything. Heck- every step I took hurt my knees but I never told anyone… I didn't TRY to, and meanwhile I could try to see if I wouldn't become his slut. Knowing Garet- he wasn't like that anyway.
It's not a sin…
It's not a sin…
It's not a sin…
I love Garet
Tell me it's not a sin… SOMEBODY… please…
Just a little Salvation in my own life… isn't that what everybody wants?
I ran back to the house, knocking on the door hard. Garet answered to my urgency. Throwing my arms around him, my heart gave a cry for redemption.
Line up the bottles to complete the grief
I sit and I slowly lose my mind
I never could understand the mistakes I repeat.
Everyone was happy- they said Garet and I made a perfect couple and that 'we're so cute together.' We DID fit well.
Garet… is just too perfect a man. He gives me the salvation I ask, he's not demanding- he's actually more MY slave- he's sweet, he loves me, and he's got a cute personality and a hot-bod to count.
All the sadness- all the regret- it just melts when he holds me. I want to stay there. I know it hurt some people and they think I'm showing off- but for once I'm doing something for myself- what a sin.
And I hate to be called a show-off, a fiery death to those who say otherwise. I might be an awful, awful, TERRIBLE person, but not a show-off. If I ever do- it's a joke. If you can't take a joke FIERY HELL TO YOU TOO!
But Garet… the more time I spent with him, the more I loved him… for once I felt safe and loved… and protected…
For once I felt that I didn't need to protect anyone
For once it felt so good to be weak.
I tried my best to stay normal. Stick with my friends and my morals. I tried so hard to not change ONE LITTLE BIT that I even continued flirting.
But… soon I learned how big a sin that was and would slowly grow to understand how much it would grow…
…The next time Sheba stayed over.
We were curled up in my small bed because it was comfy and warm. We were fit pretty tight and soon I felt my shoulder grow wet where Sheba's face rested.
"What's wrong!" I jumped, shifting back and almost falling off.
"I-I'm sorry. . ."
"Hm"
"I'm sorry. . ."
"For what?. . ."
"I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to. I. . . can't get you off my mind. I can't stop dreaming about you. . . I. . . fell in love with you."
"Hey, shh. It'll be okay."
"I really didn't mean to Jenna. . . I'm sorry. . . Our friendship is ruined. . . I just feel like… Garet ruined everything… Would it be fair. . . to ask you how you felt about this"
"Hm, well, it's quite ironic. You're crying while I'm grinning, 'cause I've got the girl I want crying in my lap."
"Really"
"Mm hmm."
"Ah, Jenna. . ."
"Yeah"
"C-could you. . . kiss me"
"Ah, heck." She asked for a kiss and a kiss had lost meaning of being mutual. Kisses of romance, she neverreceived one.Of course I was grinning out of amusement. I just felt the evil streak running through me at that moment.
Ha- I caught her. Ha- She's exposed the underbelly of the dragon. Ha- no sick and dirty man can soil her now. Wahahaha- maybe…
She'll go back to the Sheba I knew.
That thing I held most precious- the angel who fell to Lalivero.
Engraved on a headstone
Crosses burn harmony weeps
Nazi eye hail the beast
Let's follow the tracks to a world of pain
