BEHIND THOSE EYES
Lyrics by 3 Doors Down

Ohh yeah
Ohh yeah

I went back to the door for a hope to a good answer for my posts...

You said I had something to say
Then you got that look in your eye
"There is something you've got to know"
You said it as you started to cry

"There, I finished writing." She had told me as she walked by my house on her way back from the Sanctum.

She had read my postings...

I waited for her to be out of sight, not acting all too eager to get to the door. I know she wanted me to read those postings, that's probably why she posted half of them.

I've been down the wrong road tonight
And I swear I'll never go there again
I've seen this face once before
And I don't think I can do this again

Waking up to a nightmare that I can't fall asleep from... I spotted 'A Tale of Two Stories'- pages falling out of their bindings due too there being to many of them. It brought it all back screaming in my head.

"I-I fell in love with you!" "All I could think of was you..." "I've let most of my feelings go." "All I could hear was your voice..." "I still want to be with you forever. " "You've held me like no one ever has, not even my own mother. " "All I could smell was the scent of your clothes..." "I can only imagine myself being of your world, because you're my world." "All I could see was the things that reminded me of you..." "what would happen if I did something stupid again? " "All I could feel was the increasing heartbeat and the jut of my throat..." "If it were possible, I'd fall on my knees and ask you to marry me." "Though my love for you may not be romantic, it's the power of its withstand that gives it such beauty. " "You'll never know how much you mean to me..." "Maybe the words "I love you," have lost their meaning, but the voice whispering it means every syllable, every breath of it."

I never DID figure out just why I held her so dearly that night and was so angry at her the next morning.

Waking up to a nightmare that I can't fall asleep from...

That was the only answer I could EVER find.

There's something I can't see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide

Watching her during class, a soft smile on her face as I spoke to her, and yet, she stared into the distance, not a word I said seeming to penetrate that shinny bowl-head hair of hers.

"Are you ok?"

She popped to attention. "Yeah, why?"

"You seemed spaced out..."

"I'm just tired, I went to bed at 12 or so last night..."

I stared... I didn't believe that was it, I knew I was shoving a knife deeper into her ribs by writting on the door. But... I had tried so hard to be a great friend, and she never notice... my good and hungered for good deeds went ignored- and that ticked me off to the point where I gave up on being extra nice.

Now, when ever she went on about being lonley, I laughed. I tried and she didn't notice. If there's nothing I can do now, I'll laugh at it- it's folly.

Let me laugh at my folly.

As you turned to walk away
I saw another look in your eye
And even though it hurt like it did
I couldn't let this be your goodbye.

"If I were to die today, no one would need me." These words were repeated over and over again by her on the door while I looked over it, searching for the right paper.

Such a fool. She's my best friend and we all care so much. Garet was in tears of worry over her. He won't admit it now, but he was CRYING (or maybe he was just too out of it to notice...)

Reading the stories she wrote for he side of the tale, she wanted to die because of the pain and hurt of lack of love.

But...

I didn't want her to die...

She might not have a real family and she might not have a lover, but... we still cared SO much...

I didn't want her to go... just to... let go of her love for me... Let go of love, not life.

I... I acually wanted her to hate me just so she could live without loving me...

'Don't...die..'

You say that your sorry
And you say that it hurts you the same
Is there something here to believe
Or is it just another part of the game?

"So much crap has happened, I can't begin... ...well, I could. But that'd take over two hours worth of sitting here and typing. Let me sum it all up for you...

"Um. ...wait, that's not what I meant! ...maybe. My head is spinning in circles to no frickin' end... I can't even comprehend half the things going through my mind."

"I'm the worst friend on the planet. grabs a book and starts hitting self Not only did I screw things up, I wrote everything like they were the bad guys! And of course it takes reading her own words to finally catch a clue... I'm so frickin' stupid..."

"Well, I read Tales of Two Stories today beforeclass. I do the most moronic things... u-u; Actually, I was close to tears during class: luckily I busied myself with scissors... (no, no... we were making paper models ; I'm done cutting myself...) By second period I was able to smile (aka: I was frickin happy) but by fourth period I started feeling guilty again... the student teacher for band sucks so much that I forgot about it...

"I just don't know what to do. I'm such a hassle: how does anyone put up with me? You know... I think the reason why I'm so down and out of it is because I just need a lover too. But I'm trying to wait for the right person: the person who I'll fall in love with and every second with them will count... but watching my friend and Garet and my other friends and even just random strangers makes it harder and harder... and I fear that I'll never like someone again: or I'll never find someone who loves me as much as I love them. (Haha, no, I don't mean the same level of hate...) Of course, half of this is theory: I have no idea what hell is running through my head right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm so much of a hassle to myself that I might as well give into fate. (If you catch my drift...)"

Theres something I cant see
Something living in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And theres nothingI can say
Cause im never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide

"First of all, if you've been following my "metaphoric" notes (Fabric, Roulette, etc) please look around for 'A Tale of Two Stories'. It's the flip side, you'd get a much better comprehension of how things are going down.

"Also, I'd like to make infinite apologies to Garet and Jenna. Not at all were they to blamed for anything. Quite frankly, it would be the opposite, I'm completely at fault 'cause I made the mistakes. I'd been so busy writing almost every thought gushing through my veins that I forgot how bad I was making them look: and I really didn't want them to look like they were at fault: really. I just want them to be together and happy... that's all."

Ohh yeah
Ooooooo
Ohh woah

Now she was saying it again... she's over me. This time I believed her, though I'm not sure I should.

Maybe it was just hormones driving her desprite for love... and Felix and Picard had each other, Isaac had Ivan, &Mia had Peter. There was no one else but Garet- and it wasn't like they were cousins or anything (Ame's note: HAHAHAHA xD ) Maybe it was just because we were closer.

Because I took care of her and healed her.

I teased her and I was her friend through all that journey...

Maybe it was... where she hoped to find her past... Jupiter lighthouse ... the imense emotions of that and seeing her best friend meet her old friends... a feeling of abandonment

Behind those eyes you lie
Behind those eyes you hide

"You're quiet... I don't like the quiet." Garet looked at me as we sat on the front porch swing.

"Sorry, I was thinking. Cause...I found lyrics for the (hopefully) last chapter of ATOTS"

"uh, yay? Is that bad... alot?"

"nah, I don't think so... I'm just not sure if I should trust her again when she says it's over."

Theres something I can't see
Something living in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And theres nothingI can say
Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide

"Is the Sheba situation over with yet?"
"I think." I smiled over at my Garet. He looked at the ground, kicking a stone along, ever so serious.

Behind those eyes you lie

"I hope this time its over..."