Chapter 7: Disenchantment
Author's Note: Wowwie! Thank you guys for the inspirational reviews and appreciation for my work. To be honest, each story is a first draft, Sometimes I feel like I do a lousy job at some chapters. Black Silk Red Roses doesn't end yet! If you knew me well, I don't believe in a happy ending, eh shouldn't have told you that. If I shatter anyone's hope, I'm sorry! Ok so answering Lynda's question, have I ever experience love? Errr...the only love I think I ever felt is one-sided love. Heh, alrighty so here's the overview about Chapter Seven and the many after it. I'm taking an artistic approach to include some blurbs just words that describes or set the mood of the situation, they will be italicized, so you can tell the difference. One question, do you think I'm dragging this story out too much I mean 7 chapters already? I don't know if I should end it soon or not. I don't want to have a 50 chapter FanFic, Short and influential is what I'm going for but if you guys want more I don't want mind writing more. Blah Blah, alright I'm shutting up go read Chapter 7!
Four days has gone by, and everyday Yuki smiled more, I also have been feeling better about our relationship, and ultimately myself. I wake up every morning and there would always be breakfast served and the shower ready for me. Yuki's pampering me so much, I wish I could do more for him.
Yuki brought me to Chinatown in New York City, it's a place where I guess Asian stores and people congregate. Yuki took me to eat some Chinese Dim-sum on the fifth day of our trip. The service was pretty fast and the food was delicious. He also brought me to American clothes store, The stores has so many good clothing, Yuki brought me around many stores picking out shirts for him and some clothes for me. Some of the People were staring at me, but I didn't know why. Until a little girl pointed at my head and and asked me in English, "Why is your hair pink?" I finally knew that what they were laughing at. Back at home no one barely noticed, but here eyes everywhere gawked at me. Yuki grabbed me by my arm and took me into his car.
"Thank you." I said. Knowing he tried to save myself from embarrassment. I decided later on that night, I'm going to do something about my hair. Yuki brought me back to the hotel and we ate dinner. After dinner before the sun almost set, Yuki asked if I can come out to the terrace. I put everything away and went out to the terrace. Again he was bundled up in the white blanket. I knew the routine. I approached Yuki and he opened up, without me asking. I slipped inside and both of us in silence watch the sun set. It seems that even though the sun seems so much smaller than in Japan, Yuki and I can watch the sunset together, I don't think we ever can in Japan. The next day I snuck out during the afternoon and went to a local hair salon. I told the lady to dye my hair darkish brown. I looked in the mirror, I look so different. I stepped outside of the hair salon and no one was staring at me. In some ways I felt awful that I did that so I wouldn't be gawked at. And yet it was time to let go of the pink hair boy.
...rebirth...
Yuki was so shocked when he saw my hair color.
"Shuichi, your hair color...complements your eyes." He said and smiled and took me out the terrace and we both watched the sunset once again.
I felled asleep without knowing when I was out there with Yuki. I woke up and turn around to face the hotel room. The light was on. I heard two sets of voices. I know one of them must be Yuki, who could the other one be? I slide the door a bit to listen and to peak in on who it was. It was Yuki and Aku.
"So Yuki, what's going on?" Aku asked. Aku took out a box of cigarettes and lit one up. He held out the cigarette box out to Yuki and offered. Yuki turned away, at that moment I thought that he might probably did quit smoking, but for me?
"What do you mean?" Yuki asked back.
"Oh come on, don't think I'm stupid. What's up with bringing that pink hair brat here?" Aku questioned.
"His name is Shuichi." Yuki said.
"Yuki, don't tell me you fell in love with your boy toy?" Aku said. And with those words he approached Yuki. He placed his hands over Yuki's head and stared deeply in Yuki's eyes.
"You know...you can never love that boy. So why don't you just give up. I know why you really came here. You wanted to see me, actually to be more specific, you wanted me." He said and kissed Yuki's lips.
At the moment I was about to burst in and slap Aku. I kept my cool, but my heart wasn't other wise, I could feel tears of disappointment and anger rolling down my cheeks.
"Your right, I...don't...think I can ever love Shuichi." Yuki said.
Those words, hit me so hard in the chest I could of passed out. Yuki...why. Why are you doing this then if you don't love me?. I was caught up in this feeling of anger I couldn't control myself anymore. I pushed the door to the side so hard it could fallen of it's hinge.
"YUKI WHY?!?!!?!??! AM I REALLY JUST YOUR BOY TOY??!? ANSWER ME!" I screamed from the top of my lungs. I could hear the other guest in the surrounding area beginning to stir and complain but I didn't care.
...shattered...
Yuki didn't say a word, he turned away. I knew this was too good to be true. But yet I fell for it time after time.
"Fine...I'll do you a favor and leave." With those words I took my suit case and my wallet from the counter and approached Yuki. He turned around to look at me, the hate inside me boiled up when I look at him into his cold yellow eyes. I took my right hand and as hard as I could slapped him. I could swear anyone could hear it from the city. Yuki stood in the position for a while I could see my hand print on his face. With those last images I stormed out the hallway. Everything was blurry, from crying so much. I ran to the elevator and press the one button, It lit up and the door closed. I slumped down on the elevator door and cried even more. When it was finally the main floor, the door opened but I didn't have the strength to leave I just sat in the elevator crying.
...broken...
I finally found the strength to get up and leave, I exited through the main entranced. Barely anyone on the streets or anything opened. I looked at the hotel and looked up at the ninth floor for the last time. I headed out to search for a motel that can stay the night. If not then Central Park would be the other choice. There weren't much cars around, luckily because I wasn't paying much attention to my surrounding, I was just walking getting away from Yuki, from everything. I final found a 24/7 motel and went inside and paid the guy and went to find room number 43. The hallway of the motel, was unwelcoming dark and dingy. The light about the hall way was flickering on and off. I put the key into the keyhole and stood there. Remembering once the lights flickering on and off. I opened the door finally and went in. A twin size bed that seem very hard and unbearable. The flashing motel sign right out my window. I just sat my self in the empty corner, I crawled up in a fetal position and cried. I was so tired of everything, what did I do to deserve this? Soon I cried myself to sleep.
I woke up and found myself still in the fetal position. It was a cold morning. I rubbed my arms to warm myself up. I went into the standing shower stall and turn on the water. I let the water just run. Hoping that it could drain away everything, wash me of the past. I got of the shower and unknowingly I put on Yuki's shirt. I realize I had his shirt when I looked in the mirror. I couldn't stare at myself for long. I went over to the bed and sat there. Didn't sit there long, I was hungry, I was so use to eating the breakfast Yuki prepared in the morning that my body was accustom to eating breakfast whenever I wake up. I decided to go to a store or something in New York and get packaged food.
I went to a 711 or something rather and went to see what I could eat. I couldn't find any good breakfast things to eat so I got chips. I sat out on the curb and ate them. I admit this doesn't compare to the hotel breakfast. I finished up my the whole bag and started to walk around. Again I can't help but think about Yuki. My eyes again were starting to water. I walked around Central Park to try to clear my mind of him. That didn't work it made me think of him more. So much that I think I even hear him calling me sometimes.
Shuichi!
Shuichi!
I wiped my eyes. Maybe I'm not hallucinating I think I hear him call my name.
Shuichi!
I turned around and I saw Yuki in the distance. My eyes start to swell up with tears again. Inside I honestly didn't want to see him, Or to hear him. I got up and started to run. Run away from him.
Shuichi Stop!
I could hear him, I ran faster fearing he would catch up. I bumped into lots of people they all shout and were perturbed. Then I came to an apparent stop, because of the red light. I could hear Yuki yelling my name and coming faster. I didn't want to see him. I wished the light would turn green. A couple of seconds later it did.
Run
All I can think about is getting away from Yuki. Another stop light, stopped me from my task. I looked back and Yuki was only a couple of yards away. I was frantic to get away. I ran across the street.
BEEEP!!!
HOOONK!!
HEY! ARE YOU STUPID!?!
The cars honked and beeped at me but I kept ahead. I'm almost there, I can reach the other side of the street.
Freedom
Suddenly I heard a scream. A Loud honking noise and a loud crash. On my right side of my body I could feel a sharp pain. I closed my eyes. and open them up again, I saw the sky. I closed them and open them again. All I saw was red.
...Yuki
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I'll be all right
Because I can keep busy
I'm always hanging on
Yes, because of the promise you made
But now, I don't want to cry anymore
Because we're far apart
It seems as though everything has changed
Even the scent of the breeze that passes me by
And the crowds of people on the subway
It wasn't a mistake, was it?
All those times we met...everything was suffocating me
Even now, I just cannot call up those memories
The warmth of your lips just won't disappear...
Because you always push yourself
You lose sight of what is dear to you
And now, if there comes a time when you love another
Just once more, remember that time
Someday, I want to smile again
Like the sun on the day when I met you...
-are kara
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author's note: I hope it wasn't that dramatic of an ending of chapter 7. To be honest I didn't want Yuki to play the bad guy, I love Yuki's character, but he had to be to fit the plot. There's more don't worry, now I just need to think of how to pick up from things from here. I personal love the song "are kara" by Shimokawa Mikuni. I felt if you listen to the song if would fit the story so well. I just re read my story, I have to admit I almost felt teary.
