Chapter 10: If It Is So

author's note: Chapter 10 already! Trying to update more to keep you all happy! I'm working on my other story, as I'm doing this....I thought about doing a cross over but then that wouldn't make sense so...my new story will have no correlation to this one. I just notice I have two pages of reviews!! Shocking!!! Wow, thank you guys that are constant readers! Alright shutting up here's chapter 10.

"Shu, you seem like you are all betters. Your wounds are healing nicely and you seem to be fit to be able to leave the hospital....Alright I signed you off, you can leave tomorrow." The doctor stated and left Shu's hospital room.

I can leave now? It seems that I've been here for so long, where would I go. Shu took a deep breath and looked out the window and closed his eyes.

Knock Knock

Shu opens his eyes and look at the door. Yuki was standing there with two sets of suitcases.

" Hey Shu. I luckily found your belongings in a motel that you were once staying." With those words Yuki set the suitcases on the floor and look up back again at Shu.

"If you have no place to go Shu...I like for you to stay with me." Yuki asked.

Shu was sort of guessed that he was going to ask that. Shu knows that he promised Yuki that he will try to remember about his past. Shu knew he had no where else to go. Shu thought about it for a while and he nodded his head slightly.

"Ok. Thank you" I said.

Yuki smiled and said, " Alright, well I'll come back tomorrow to pick you up and I'll bring you to my place." Yuki took Shu's suitcases with him and looked back and smiled at Shu and closed the door behind him as he left.

I put my head back on my knees and directed my head to the window and closed my eyes again, hoping no one will intrude again. I heard no footsteps or any sign of the wind blowing. It was dead silent, I couldn't help but feel lonely. I told myself to fall asleep because then loneliness and the quietness will fade away. I woke up to what appears to be the sound of rain. I stretched for a while and paused and looked outside in the gray environment. I got up and off my bed and moved to the glass window and slide it and step outside just a little bit so the rain won't hit me as much. I took a deep breath, the smell of rain seem like it was a new smell to me. I lean on the glass door and watch the rain fall.

Mean while back at Yuki's hotel room, Yuki too is watching the rain fall from inside his hotel room. Sitting on his chair, on the table next to him three packs of cigarette boxes and 2 bottles of red wine. Yuki is drowning himself in his own guilt and also fearing if he doesn't try hard enough to make Shu remember, He has to keep his promise of letting Shu go. Yuki took the wine bottle disregarding the glass that had already had some wine in it. Yuki forced the wine down his throat. The alcohol seems to sear his esophagus, soon when the pain was just too unbearable, with all his might he threw the wine glass at the glass sliding door. The glass bottle shattered and red wine went everywhere. Then memories of Shuichi's accident started to come back in his head. Yuki closes his eyes and shaking it hard trying to forget that moment. He open his eyes again and stared at the red stained carpets, it was like blood to him. It's your fault....guilty...his mind seems to say to him.

"NO!!!"

"NOOO!!!!!"

Yuki found himself, standing, panting, and desperate for air. Yuki's senses were shot. He went into the bathroom and went into the shower and turn on the cold water and he just stood in there. The water was warm then it got very cold. The cold water hit Yuki's skin like pins, slowly Yuki fell into a fetal position, his head between his knees, facing downward and all he cold feel is the cold water, all he can hear is himself crying.

...left in the rain.

Shu felt that somewhere in the distance, Yuki is probably thinking about him. Even if it makes Yuki sad, Shu knows that Yuki won't stop thinking about this Shuichi. Shu thought about it for a while and couldn't help be a little bit envious of this, Shuichi. Shu smirked at the thought that he got jealous over something like this. He doesn't even know Yuki or this Shuichi. Even though Yuki was so persistent that I was his Shuichi, and there could be a chance that I am Shuichi I highly doubt that could be true. I believe that if Yuki really loves this Shuichi, then why would Shuichi get into an accident because of Yuki? Or even that if the statement, "Love can conquer all" is really true than, even if Shuichi have lost his memory like I did, should at least feel like he has a small bond with Yuki after the accident. I got on my bed again and stared all around. I'm the caged bird, because I'm ill, because I can't be outside in the rain. With this thought I fell asleep again.

I woke up with the sun shining and to the sound of a gentle knock on my door. The door opened and Yuki stood there he looked at me for awhile and smiled.

"The doctor said you can take leave today. You don't have to be cooped up here anymore" Yuki said still smiling.

"Oh...really?" I asked. I felt relieved I don't have to stay here anymore.

Yuki nodded and gestured his hand to ask me to follow him.

freedom...

I followed Yuki outside and I waved to the doctor that took care of me and then I left with Yuki through the double sliding doors. He lead me to his black car, It looked really sleek and expensive. He opened the door for me and I bowed to him slightly to thank him and got in and closed the door. Yuki walked around the back of the car and open his door and got in. He looked at me and started to lean over me. I was about to push him away when he took the seatbelt and insert it for me. I felt foolish that I thought he was going to do something to me. He put his on and look at me and smiled and started the car and headed for his hotel.

When we got drove around the center fountain thing I looked up to the grandeur of the hotel. It was so big and beautiful. Yuki opened my door again. I searched for the seatbelt thing and struggled to get it to open. I felt a presence over me and I saw two sets of hand easily unbuckle the seatbelt with ease.

"Thank you." I whispered to him in his ear.

He only smiled and started walking towards the hotel. I got out of the car and it gave a sudden beep sound that startled me and I started to walk faster to catch up with Yuki. Everybody was looking at me. Then I noticed that I didn't change into normal attire, I still had my hospital clothes on. My face was flushed with red I could feel it. It seems like this is the first time I've ever been embarrassed of myself. We got in the elevator and he pressed the button and it lit up and the door closed afterwards. It was still the only sound was the whirring of the pulleys and the little bell that signifies each level passing. We finally reached the floor where Yuki's apartment was. He opened the door and I was so shocked by the magnificence and beauty of the room. The terrace, the bathroom and the little bar it was all to much glamour and so different from the hospital room. I noticed that it had only one bed.

"Ummm...Yuki, there is only one bed...I--"

"It's fine, I can sleep on the floor." Yuki interrupted me and went into the closet and pulled out a sleeping bag and lay it on the left side of the bed.

I personally felt guilty that he's going to sleep on the floor but I just so captured by all the beauty and glamour, it faded away. Yuki went into the bathroom and I sat on the bed still admiring the room. He came out shortly and opened up the sleeping bag and fit himself in.

"I'm tired, I didn't get much sleep yesterday so don't mind me." Yuki said and closed his eye and turned to his right side and soon feel asleep.

I was still sitting in the room, now I was looking outside the window, the view was so different from my, the ambience and the atmosphere was totally different. I took a deep breath. The air smelled different also. I decided that I should go get some rest too because I didn't get much sleep yesterday. So I slowly and quietly crawled into Yuki's bed and pulled the white blanket on myself. The white blanket felt strangely comfortable and warm. I too soon fell asleep.

It was around 8:45 p.m. eastern time and Shu was still asleep and Yuki woke up. Yuki woke up and look at Shu. Yuki recognize the familiar innocence in Shu's sleep. Yuki softly sat on the bed and brushed Shu's dyed brown hair. Shu was still sleeping, he doesn't know Yuki was beside him and touching his hair. Shu suddenly flinched as a water droplet hit his face but he was still asleep. Yuki was crying, he knows that Shuichi is right here physically but, Shu's feelings aren't here for Yuki,...one sided love. That's how it's going to be, until Yuki let's Shu go.

"...Shuichi."

if I smile and don't believe
soon I know I'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me I'm not broken
hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry

suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday