Chapter V

Day Two

With a mighty swing Squall brought his gunblade crashing down through the air, the end result being a weak Grat horribly sliced into two. He hated all the weak enemies that the Garden put into the training center, he understood their purpose to the underclassmen, but even still, every time Squall walked in there he felt guilty; like he was preying on something so much weaker then himself.

Continuing through the façade of a jungle Squall made his way around the course, seeking the beast which he came there for in the first place. The T-Rex.

Stealthily turning around at every corner, Squall with his easy grace, continued moving until he at last came upon the towering beast that was the T-Rex. It just wasn't the one that he was searching for.

"Quistis, what are you doing here?" He asked his one time instructor as she stood next to a fallen tree, blocking his path to continue.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, since when has it been only commanders can roam the training center freely?"

"Don't start with me Quistis," Squall articulated firmly.

Watching her expression soften, Quistis' voice grew sympathetic. "Zell told me you and Macy broke up."

All Squall did was shrug his shoulders, he was not in the mood for Quistis' motherly antics.

"I'm sorry Squall."

"Don't be," he replied curtly, before turning back around. From behind he could hear Quistis walking after him.

"Squall, I need to tell you something," her voice was now urgent.

"Some other time Quistis," he yelled behind him, picking up his pace.

"It's about Rinoa, Squall."

Just by simply hearing her name made something inside of him snap. Without any control over his body Squall started to sprint out of the training center.

Not daring to look behind himself Squall dashed through the Garden, causing passer bys to stare at him queerly. But their stares didn't stop him, he ran until he made it to his office. Squall slammed the door behind him, but watched it stop in mid-swing as Quistis stepped on through.

"Squall, like it or not, this is one of those times that you have to listen to me," she told him firmly, slamming the door behind herself.

"Quistis, if you want to sit here and lecture me about anything that's fine, but just don't talk about her."

"Squall, I understand wh"-

"No you don't," he stopped her in mid-sentence. "If you did at all you wouldn't be here trying to talk to me about it."

After an agitated sigh Squall moved from his desk and pushed pass Quistis, he had reached his door when Quistis' anxious voice said to him.

"I saw Rinoa yesterday."

Turning back around Squall faced his friend, whose face was bleeding with compassion. "It wasn't the first time either," she went on. "A few days before I ran into her at Booya's."

No words were forming in his head, all that was there was utter shock, which resulted him into silence.

"I know all you want is to move on with your life Squall, and believe me, I want nothing more for you…" With her voice fading into almost a silence of her own Quistis weakly added on her final words. "I just thought you should know."

For a moment Squall closed his eyes, he tried to gather and control the whirlwind that was swirling inside of him. With his eyes still shut he asked Quistis the question that he did not want to know, but in every way needed to.

"How is she doing?"

"What do you mean Squall?" Quistis questioned.

Squall simply replied with his previous words. "How is she doing?"

There was a brief moment of silence; hesitantly Squall began to re-open his eyes, just as Quistis at last started to speak.

"I think something's up Squall," she told him earnestly.

"What do you mean?" He asked as coolly as possible.

He watched as Quistis gingerly shook her head. "I can't tell with any certainty, but everything inside of me is saying that something is going on." At this Squall suddenly felt that familiar earth shaking feeling grasp his heart. "And when we ran into Laguna the feeling just increased. I mean how often does he come to Balamb?"

A thousand-and-one emotions were running through him, but Squall knew when to put a blank expression was on his face.

"I know I shouldn't have told you and that you don't need this in your life right now, I just…"

As Quistis' words faded, Squall found his way back to his desk chair. Collapsing into it he leaned back, with one hand anxiously combing his hair Squall looked back up at Quistis, who was staring down on him nervously.

"I'm glad that you told me Quistis, but right now, if you don't mind, I like to be alone."

Responding with only a simple nod Quistis left his office. Getting what he asked for, Squall suddenly found himself alone, but not completely, for his idle thoughts kept swirling around in his head.

Rinoa had been in town, if she was at Booya's she must have seen him, but why wouldn't she speak to him? Their past might have been running on fate, and their departure might be clouded in mystery to him, but hadn't they built enough in the time they did have together to at least say hello?

Suddenly every bone in his body burned with irrational rage. She might have her reasons for leaving him, and the same could go for not talking to him, but at that moment Squall didn't care. She had left him with nothing more but bitter pain three years ago. Now all that pain was resurfacing.

And his father? He must have known that Rinoa was in Balamb. He was probably going to go see her for whatever mysterious reason that day that he and Quistis had run into him. The lying bastard told Squall he was visiting Cid.

As soon as the name formed in his head, another layer of anger was put over Squall's heart.

Jumping up from his desk chair Squall stormed out of his office and entered the one next store. Without so much as a knock he barged in, he felt no need for formalities at the present moment.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Squall demanded as soon as he caught site of the aging headmaster.

"Squall," was all Cid said in response. He was sitting dumbstruck behind his desk, a stack of papers were in his hands.

"Don't play dumb," Squall snapped at the Headmaster "You've been talking with my father, and I bet my last Gil it's been about Rinoa Heartilly."

"Would you please calm yourself down," Cid said as he gained his own composure. Straightening the papers in his hands Squall watched him put them in a file folder next to his desk. "Now," he said turning back to face him. "Please explain."

"Quistis has seen Rinoa, Cid, you can't play games with me," Squall paused for a brief moment before continuing "So now can you tell me what the hell is going on?"

With a sorrowful tone Cid replied. "I'm afraid Squall that's not my information to divulge."

"Like hell it isn't," Squall snapped.

"Sometimes Squall, things are out of anyone's control. I pray every night that circumstances were different, but thing are what they are."

The headmaster's word games only infuriated Squall further. It took every fiber of control he had not to explode right there and then. With his eyes closed and his fist clenched, in a whispered voice he asked the man he had regarded as a father for so many years.

"Where is she?"

"Squall, I can't"-

"Cid," Squall cut him off. "Please, I don't know what I'm going to do, but if she's still in town I need to know."

At first Cid was silent, he took off his square shaped glasses and wiped the lenses with the bottom of his shirt, then looking Squall squarely in the eyes he said to him. "I don't hold this information to torment you Squall…but it's her that I'm protecting." Taking a deep breath Cid thought one last time about what he was about to say. "She's at the old orphanage; you'll find that we've spent the last few years repairing the place."

"Thank you," Squall said humbly, he had already turned to leave when Cid once again began to speak. Squall turned back around to face him.

"I can't say anything to stop you, but I ask this of you. Before you do anything please consider your actions, the consequences can hurt all parties involved."

"Cid, what is going on?"

The headmaster maintained eye contact with him, but he said nothing further. Squall took it as his cue to leave.

After his conversation with the headmaster Squall left the Garden, he needed some time so he could have a chance to think.

Forever it took him just to be able to pretend that he was over the sorceress, but if he for once was to be honest with himself, then the truth was that he never got over Rinoa.

Pacing along the plains that surrounded the Garden, Squall tried to desperately figure out what Cid wouldn't tell him, unfortunately for all the thought that he put into it the end result was in vain.

His thoughts then drifted over to the idea of actually seeing Rinoa again. What would he do; so many of his emotions crossed each other.

Traveling further into the plains Squall found a clear, secluded area where no trace of civilization could be seen. There he sat, letting his hands dig pass the grass and into the dirt that rested below.

All his life Squall had lived in one complex bubble after another, not once had any path seem clear to him. He would sometimes at night lie in bed and yearn for simplicity just so he could sleep soundly.

When the dark blanket of night covered the sky, Squall sat up from the ground. The peacefulness hadn't given him answers nor truths, only more questions and answers.

Bitterly he walked back to the Garden; it felt so empty late at night and not for the first time that day Squall felt alone. Stepping into the elevator Squall went to push the button for the top floor when an unexpected urge stopped him. Lowering his hand to the garage button Squall felt his heart raise with anxiety as the elevator began to lower.

With one of the perks to being commander being having access to virtually every car in the garage, Squall took out his keys and opened the first car he came to.

An automatic pilot had taken over his body as he raced down the deserted streets. His mind was in a blissful emptiness as he drove. No thoughts, no emotions, just driving. That train came to a crashing end when Squall found himself pulled up to the orphanage, he found his former residence glowing with an enticing light that came from the windows. They were like small lighthouses in the pitch black night.

He got out of the car without a problem, but as soon as his feet touched the orphanages gravel his entire body froze.

In that orphanage lied every answer that he yearned to learn, but a force greater then himself prevented him from moving forward. A force that had captured his heart, and then ripped it away when he least expected it.

"Fuck you Rinoa," he whispered into the night, letting the words blow past him with the breeze.

AUTHORS NOTE:

Soon things are about to get heart wrenchingly interesting…I promise. Sorry for the spaced out updates, but I'm facing my first set of college finals. What a bitch.

Anyways, thanks to all out there reading and I wish you the best of holidays.

Always,

Leah