CHAPTER VI
Day Three
The warm cup of tea felt good in her chilled hands, mornings were always cold in Balamb. By noon things would warm up, but until then Rinoa always had a sweater waiting.
From out the window Rinoa caught the sun beginning to rise just above the horizon. Ever since the decision to seal her for eternity was made, Rinoa made it a priority to catch the morning sunrise. The tranquility that it bestowed upon her heart was priceless.
Taking the first sip of her tea Rinoa noticed Edea enter the room.
"You just made it," Rinoa told the older woman as she joined her at the kitchen table. A gentle smile pierced Edea's lips and together they silently watched the sunrise.
The former sorceress tried desperately not to behave any differently towards Rinoa; she tried to act as if the decision was never made. Rinoa wasn't quite sure if she liked that or not. Where she appreciated the sympathy and compassion, it made reality not seem real. There was only four days left in her life, but it hadn't set in yet with Rinoa, and of all the things that is what scared her.
Once morning was at last upon them, Edea got up from her seat and moved to the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast Rinoa?" She asked putting on a pot of coffee.
Standing up herself Rinoa finished her cup of tea. "I think I'm going to skip breakfast this morning Edea, I want to take a morning walk along the beach."
"Are you sure?"
Lacing up her boots Rinoa nodded. "I'll be back for lunch," she promised. Grabbing her sweater Rinoa left the orphanage.
It was a gorgeous morning. Everything was clear and bright, a pleasant breeze was sweeping through the air and the wonderful smell of morning dew was all around.
Stepping onto the gravel that led to the orphanage Rinoa began her walk, three footsteps later; however, she came to an immediate stop. Parked only a few feet away was a familiar vehicle with the initials BG plastered on the side of it.
"What the hell is a Garden car doing here?" Rinoa asked herself
Two seconds later her question was answered.
Standing by the side of hic car was a dumbstruck Squall Leonhart. Rinoa couldn't believe it; there only a dozen feet away was the one person that she couldn't handle seeing. Their eyes burned into each other. Even after all the years his eyes had the same effect on her that they did the day they met. She was paralyzed.
"Rinoa," was the only thing he said. Even just hearing him utter her name made everything inside of Rinoa collapse. All the strength that she had been running her all these years vanished with one word.
Silence followed her name, and it might have remained that way for the rest of their lives had Edea at that moment, when the tension was at its peak, hadn't come barging out of the orphanage.
"Rinoa, I forgot to…" Her voice quickly faded.
Edea stopped dead in her place, she was a few feet away, but the scene must have told her everything. After Edea's intrusion Rinoa's eyes went back to Squall, whose body had suddenly gone rigid.
With only a moment of silence passing Edea gathered herself enough to speak, as awkward as it was. "Well I see that your busy dear, I'll just talk to you later." With that Edea went back into the orphanage, leaving her all alone once again with Squall.
Not only had Edea entrance broke the tension, it also untied Squall's tongue, Edea had barely become out of sight when Squall attacked her with questions.
"What the hell is going on, why are you here?"
"Squall, I"- she tried to speak, but Squall was quick to cut her off.
"Why the hell did you go to Booya's? I've worked so long and hard to get rid of you…and now here you are?"
"Squall, I have no reasons or explanations for you," she told him, giving her best effort to convey no emotion. "So please leave it at that."
"Fuck you Rinoa, after everything how dare you tell me to 'just' leave it at that."
His words stung like poison, but only because they were true. Closing her eyes only for a brief second, Rinoa tried again to speak.
"You have every right to be angry, and whatever you say I won't hold it against you. Just please, get in your car and leave me, leave everything behind."
At first Squall didn't respond with words. Instead he began to walk towards her; she was suddenly paralyzed as he drew nearer. Within seconds they were face to face. Rinoa's heart was racing, everything inside of her was saying run, but for whatever reason she didn't. She just allowed herself to get trapped in his steal blue eyes, just as she had the moment they had met.
"Rinoa, whatever is going on is your business, I can respect that. You can go on with your life however you choose; frankly I don't give a damn. Whatever your reasons I don't care, all I want to know is this," he paused and took in a deep breath, when he spoke again his voice was filled with so much despair…it stabbed into her like a piece of broken glass. "Rinoa, why did you leave three years ago?"
Rinoa had to look away, she could no longer bare the grief that she had caused this man, a man that at one time meant the world to her. Now she could see her entire world crashing everywhere. She couldn't handle it.
Not allowing herself to say a word Rinoa ran for it. She ran pass him, pass his car, pass the road he drove on, pass everything that had brought them to this point. On and on, Rinoa just ran.
For a long time Rinoa pushed herself against the road, it was easier to continue on mindlessly then to think about what she left behind. To think about Squall.
All this, everything, it wasn't fair. Nobody asked for these fates that were forged, but here they were and there wasn't a damn thing that anyone could do about it.
Stopping when her lungs had used their last drop of oxygen, Rinoa collapsed on the coast. She was at least a mile from the orphanage and completely alone.
She no longer processed any restraint as terrified sobs took over her body. She was ready to be sealed; she had accepted and condoned it. But seeing Squall face-to-face again, suddenly, everything was turned upside down.
It was hard to believe in fate and destiny, but they were easy answers when life was so cruel.
She was destined to destroy the world, just as sorceresses both past and present have done, but whatever happened to choice? Who was to say she was going to bring destruction, what if she had the will just to say one simple word. No.
'Because you won't child,' came an unnerving voice from inside her head.
"No," Rinoa whispered helplessly.
'Yes child,' said the voice that had haunted so many of her nightmares. 'You are strong, but so am I. Your will is not iron, it will fold and soon crumble.'
"Why me?" Rinoa cried to the future sorceress. "Why is it my life that is plagued with never ending cruelty?"
'Because child,' Ultimicia began to answer. "You have a heart strong enough to withstand the burdens.'
"That not a good enough answer for me," Rinoa yelled angrily, a bitter laughed echoed in her head.
'Then nothing ever will be,' Ultimicia replied. 'Till next time child.' Then as if somebody had simply snapped their fingers Ultimicia's force was gone.
After the sorceress's departure Rinoa found herself flooded in wave of fury. Finding a rock buried in the sand, Rinoa dug it out with all her might and threw it angrily into the ocean. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that everything right in her life was ripped away.
She thought back to her mother. Rinoa had only been six years old when her mom had died of breast cancer. She was so young, and all the doctors and trips to the hospital didn't make any sense to her.
On one day, not any more special then the one before or after, Rinoa had snuck out of the daycare center that the hospital provided to see her mother. It wasn't a sight that her six year old self expected to see.
Julia Heartilly, was lying almost lifelessly in her bed. Her beautiful brunette hair no longer rested perfectly on her shoulders, baldness had replaced the silk layers. Her mom's cheek bones were sticking out and her entire complexion was pale. Rinoa would have been able to look past all that if it weren't for her mother's eyes. They were still so alive, still so strong and determined. Everything about Julia Heartilly represented that of a dying woman; spare the one thing that was the gateway to her mom's soul.
Crawling onto her bed, her mom didn't look the least bit surprised to see her daughter out of daycare. A weak smile crept onto her mother's lips as Rinoa snuggled next to her side.
At first Rinoa was silent, it had been so long since she had felt the comfort of being on her mother's side. With Rinoa, however, curiosity always got the best of her. In a voice so terrified that she could barely recognize it as her own Rinoa asked her mother.
"Mom…what's going on?"
For only a split second a look of despair fell to her mother's eyes, her eyes', however, grew a new kind of intensity, erasing everything else away.
"Rinoa, my love, I'm sick. Very sick actually."
This didn't explain very much to her six year old mind, Rinoa had been sick plenty of times, but after some cough medicine and a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup she always got better.
"Rinoa, I want you to understand something," her mom spoke again, ignoring her daughter's confusion. "Things in life happen. You barley ever have control over those things, they are just things that occur. Life goes on."
Rinoa nodded at her mother, pretending that she understood.
"What you have to realize in life is the things that are important to you. You Rinoa, are important to me. You Rinoa, are the most important thing to me in the entire world."
It would be years before anything he mother said that day would make any sense, but when it did Rinoa had felt a bond with her mother. One that she probably would have never of felt even if her mother was still alive.
More then anything Rinoa wished her mom was on her side at that moment. She was thinking about the comfort that her mother provided even with the simplest of touches, she was thinking these thoughts when all at once Rinoa realized something, parts of her mother was with her. Like her strength, her determination, all the things that lived in her amber eyes…they were all within in her.
Her mother accepted her fate and so was she.
It was late that night when Rinoa finally returned to the orphanage. In the dining room Edea and Cid were wrapped in conversation. Rinoa didn't need three guesses to figure out what they were talking about.
"Hey," Rinoa interrupted. They both jumped at the sound of her voice.
"Rinoa," Edea gasped, she leaped up from the table and ran to her. She hugged her just like a mother would.
Finding herself clinging to the older women a few extra seconds Rinoa at last pulled away. In a voice that was nothing but concerned Edea asked her. "Is everything alright?"
With a quiet sob Rinoa shook her head. "Oh honey," Edea said, lowering her shoulders so their eyes were even. "I wish I could make all the pain go away for you."
Being in his wife's arms Rinoa watched Cid hesitantly approach them. Putting a sympathetic hand on her shoulder he said to her. "There was no keeping him away. I never meant for you two to collide the way that you did, but somehow you two did."
Throwing his wife a meaningful glance Cid left the room.
When it was back to just the two of them, Edea guided Rinoa to a chair. Desperately Rinoa tried to put on a brave face as Edea sat down next to her, but all her efforts were useless, she could feel herself breaking, starting in her heart and cracking all the way to her soul.
"Rinoa," Edea said carefully. "I know that seeing him must have been difficult, but it made me think…what if he came for a reason. In less then four days you are going to commit the bravest and most selfless act that this world has ever seen. Maybe in those days you're suppose to be somewhere that none of us foresaw, maybe you're suppose to be with him."
Staring at the Matron in bewilderment Rinoa had to choke out her words. "Are you saying that I should go running to Squall, only to be ripped away from him three days later?"
"No," Edea replied calmly. "I'm only suggesting that in those days you be as happy as you can be."
Sitting up in her chair Edea bent over and gently place a kiss on top of Rinoa's head. Following her husband's earlier route Edea left Rinoa alone, suddenly Rinoa found her only company in the lonely orphanage was burdened thoughts and an exhausted soul.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Well I'm back. It's been a hard last few weeks emotionally for me, so I was glad that this chapter had so many emotional strings. I was able to put a little more soul into the words- hope that's not too corny for anyone out there.
Anyways, hope everyone had a good holidays. I'm back at college, which really means I'm back to working my ass off, but what can you do?
Till next time,
Leah
