Disclaimer: bored of that stuff, really. Thanks to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animation. Profit neither meant nor gained.

Royal Hobby

It happened in one of those alternative universes, where after the fifth season Dark Kingdom and XX century Tokyo coexisted peacefully, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Well, almost everyone. For example, Jadeite was a bit irritated. The central power generator of his apartment got lost. Means no electricity for computers and for lighting the library. As a result he had to divinate on runes in the glow of Aurora Borealis in order to chart the power flows in DK. Then the generator could be found, if it was still within the kingdom, if it was running, if.. if... Jadeite did have some reasons to recall the choicest language expressions.

Kunzite felt amiss as well. The whole Zoi was missing. Unlike Jadeite, the Ice Lord didn't even know how to start searching. Zoisite was always by his side, in the call range... And now not a sight or sound for three hours in a row.

Despite some intoxication degree Nephrite was also not quite happy. For full ecstasy he missed his free satellite TV channel - the black crystal. And it's sad to drink without some hentai movie. You'd start pondering on the sense of life, injustice of the social structure, and the fate of Motherland... and soon end up hanging yourself.
But the Astrologist had a reliable search system.
"The stars know everything"
The dome of the meditation hall winked wickedly. And that's all.
"The stars know everything! Where's my crystal"
No response.
"The stars don't know yet what I'll do to them if they don't tell me everything they know"
The celestial bodies held counsel and decided not to tempt fate. At last Nephrite observed the current location of his crystal, roared and rushed in the defined direction.

Meanwhile, notwithstanding his own pessimistic forecasts, Jadeite pinpointed an energy junction similar to his generator in operation. The Illusionist attempted pulling an evil face and marched to the place of signal. He arrived there just half a minute later than Nephrite. But both generals left their possessions rest for a while...

Then Kunzite found his missing easily too - the cries of Zoi resonated all over the kingdom. He teleported to the epicenter of commotion to rescue his treasure from spanking by Nephrite and Jadeite.
"What-was-that-about!" he inquired in a lethally level tone.
The other lords had to limit their indignation to verbal means.
"That scoundrel weasel!" shouted Nephrite in a huff.
"That... Zoisite, to put it mildly!" came the backup from Jad.
"Swiped my black crystal"
"Expropriated my power generator"
"AND WHAT FOR!" they screeched in unison.
"He could have connected to a cable porn channel!" Neph whined hysterically.
"He could have hacked all the top secret nets of the US Government!" Jad sobbed.
"AND INSTEAD!" They both pointed accusing fingers at a construction of the crystal and generator, which was still working. Automatically, supplied with power from the generator, the black crystal was displaying a 17" picture, in which a white-clad girl was gliding on skates, light and agile like a bird.
Kun sweatdropped. A running line "what's this?" was literally flashing over his head. Tentatively Zoisite peeped from under the white cape.
"It's European Figure Skating Championship. So what"
Kunzite just glanced askance at the Star and Glitch Lords, and they swallowed down their protests and other phraseology, collected their belongings and disappeared.
"Zoi-chan", the supreme lord addressed the space. "Wouldn't it be easier to find a mundane, safe TV set on the Earth"
The said Zoisite crawled from under the cape.
"Nope. The human channels are limited in broadcast time and show just some tidbits. So I've invented an autonomous retransmission receiver not to miss a thing.
"Then why don't you go to the site yourself"
"Kunzaito-sama, you just imagine - a crowd of humans shouting, whistling and applauding, crazy fans wave huge banners, the seats uncomfortable, you have just one angle of view, and not the best one... So, it's your fault, m'lord! How long I've been asking you to set a satellite receiver for me! And what did you do? Another rose, another compliment, a kiss, and all the consequences... Honestly, you're worse than Nephrite. I can kick him in the mug if he badgers me. And you avail yourself of my feelings to you"
Kunzite sighed. Here it goes... To be on the safe side, he limbered up fingers to conjure a rose.
"Zoi-chan, please don't make fuss over trifles. What's so special about that skating, anyway"
"Figure skating. What would you understand! It's pinnacle of sport and art blended together, where skill and spirit merge, where people strive for perfection to the limit of their strength even after presentations of obvious champions, without the slightest hope for victory"
In tears and great affliction Zoi teleported away, forgetting even to project sakura petal whirl.
Kunzite scratched his head. No thanks. See you, I should make a receiver for him. Why not a home video set then? Should I make it with my own hands? I'm a lord of chaos, cha-os! My specialty is destruction, not creation! If he only knew what it costs me to produce those roses! Shoot, I was training for half a year, I've stolen technology - shame on me - from Tuxedo! Enough. I'd better buy a cat, it demands much less maintenance.

In a cellar Zoisite was indulging in self-pity. Now he would never know who won in ladies singles category. And who would be the champion among men's singles on the next day... What could he do? After today's accident Nephrite would take the black crystal with him even to the lavatory. Jad seemed to be angry too. And Kunzite... hopeless.
One way was left. But it would be Extremely Dangerous. The Queens palantir.

to be continued...