A day had passed as Misao and I set up camp in the forest. Okon had packed us some food still slightly stunned that I was going to travel once more and taking Misao with me. Omasu was a little angry at not being able to throw a little farewell party, but Misao soon explained to her that it was unnecessary, as we would be coming back. That was true though. I would never take Misao away from her true home and her family for a long period of time. She'd miss them all very much. That would be rather selfish of me too, but just this once I truly wanted to be selfish. I wanted Misao just for me and no one else. She had no idea where we were headed and why I wanted her to join me.
If I ever fell deep into my guilt, into my own darkness I had someone who loved me so much that they would bring me back to reality, I had Misao to take care of me. I inwardly smiled at this and glanced over at her. She was humming softly once again some tune she had learned when she was younger and unrolling a blanket to place on the ground. We were camping under a large tree root, which was growing above ground. A light rain had begun to fall and this was our only protection.
Misao had grown wiser in the last two years as I watched her breaking the twigs and leaves she had collected hours ago, sensing it was going to rain. I smirked looking over at her as she had lit a fire warming herself up more as she rubbed her hands together. Her face glowed in the firelight making her more radiant then ever. I let out a shuddered breath and turned my gaze away concentrating on listening for any sounds. The usual animals scurried around looking for food and shelter but I could hear the sound of a flowing river nearby.
"I'm going to get us some water." I had spoken. She nodded silently looking up from the fire and I walked out of the shelter and into the light rain following the sound of the river.
xxxxxxx
I had been sitting on one of the rocks looking into the river for a while now. The rain had stopped many minutes ago and yet I still sat looking out into the flowing water. I had collected the water as it lay on the ground beside the rock. I had left my trench coat back at the camp and slightly shivered at the cool breeze running through the forest and caressing my chilled skin. My shirts were drenched and yet I still sat looking at my reflection in the water. I look tired, almost worn out from everything. It was as though I needed to sleep for many years just to stop looking like this. I silently snorted thinking that was one easy way of forgetting about what happened, but it wasn't the right way. I was once the okashira of the Oniwabanshuu and I shall not run away from anything, especially my inner demons. Before we left I had spoken to Okina and the others; always making sure Misao was busy doing something else.
Xxxxxxxx FLASH BACK xxxxxxxxX
"Aoshi-sama, I'm going to bathe and get ready for when we depart. Is that alright?" I nodded my head and she soon raced off going up stairs. I turned a corner coming face to face with Okina's closed door. I took a deep breath and knocked once. No answer. I was about to try again when Okon came into view and spoke.
"He's in the back garden Aoshi-san." I bowed my head silently thanking her and walked outside noticing the elder man walking around looking at the numerous flowers growing in the garden. I descended the stairs walking quietly over to him and stood a few metres away not wanting to interfere with his time of peace.
"Is there something troubling you Aoshi?" I jolted slightly at being detected but realised Okina was older and wiser. He turned to look over at me and spoke once again.
"Come join me." I moved closer walking next to him in silence. He walked in his usual way. One hand placed behind him lying on his lower back while the other tugged a little on his long beard as though he were thinking.
"Has something happened to Misao-chan?" I am knocked out of my thoughts by Okina speaking once more and replied back.
"Ah...no." He looked up at me strangely and stopped walking all together at sensing my slight discomfort. He stood waiting patiently for me to speak once more.
"It's me Okina...I must go away again." I watched his eyes widen slightly at hearing this and he placed a gentle smile on his face and nodded his head.
"I see..." We began walking again and I spoke looking down at the numerous flowers.
"I never apologised to you."
"Aoshi..." I held my hand up silently wanting him to stop. He got the hint and I continued.
"I apologise for what happened many years ago. It was only today that I have figured out what to do, to become me again. I must depart for awhile to find myself again, to become the Aoshi everyone knew me as."
"But not entirely the same I hope." Okina had cut in. I nodded in agreement knowing I never wanted to be that cold and emotionless to the others.
"And what of Misao-chan?" I haltered in my footsteps looking over at him and spoke once more.
"She's coming with me." Okina tilted his head looking up at me with a slightly arched brow. I watched as he tugged on his beard once more and he replied back looking back at the household.
"Ah, she will help you in your times of need." My eyes have widened slightly at Okina's comments and he chuckled lightly walking further into the garden.
"I'm not really a foolish old man Aoshi..." I shook my head slightly and bowed at him. I walked over to the training hall to find Shiro and Kuro. They were training as they always did at this time of day. I watched as they sparred together and I soon spoke leaning against the doorway.
"If you never go any faster you may never improve." I watched them jerk out of their concentration to stare over at me. They had lowered the practice swords to eye me silently. I began walking over to them and circled them quietly talking.
"You must remember the key to winning is to out do your opponent. Never give him any chance to find out how you move or else he shall know exactly what you are doing. Sometimes fighting an opponent is done easily by doing it hard and fast. Other times it takes a lot of skill and concentration. Even if you don't hit the opponent first it does not matter. For many minutes just try and watch, defending and blocking his hits, you will soon learn his ways and his moves. When you are ready, strike at him once and once only making sure the blow will hurt, remember hard, fast and unexpected. Try it out on yourselves. You must remember to go your fullest, it may hurt the other but it will teach you to become stronger, to move faster and to become more skilled. Do you understand?" I watch as they silently nod their heads and I bow and move to exit the hall.
"Aoshi-sama?" Shiro speaking to me halts me from leaving. I half turn looking at both of them and watch as they bow formally as though I were there leader once more and he spoke again.
"Thank you..." I turn fully around bowing in return and speak once more before leaving the hall.
"No I thank you both." I begin walking towards the house once more and into the main room and headed for the kitchen to find Okon and Omasu quietly chatting away while cleaning some dishes and preparing some food.
"Oh Aoshi-san! I here you are travelling soon." I nod my head affirmatively and spoke once more.
"I thank you for your kindness and your hospitality in these past two years." I watch as they both gain blushes at being thanked and by me off all people. Silence has filled the kitchen and I bow at them and walk to the door.
"Aoshi-san?" I turned around facing the both of them and I am handed the package of food prepared for Misao and myself and Omasu speaks.
"You need not thank us Aoshi-san. You are Oniwabanshuu. You are family and always will be. Please have a safe trip and come back soon." I close my eyes bowing my head and leave the room with Okon and Omasu close behind. Everyone has ventured into the main room wanting to see us off. They have all forgiven me for what has happened in the pastThere is silence throughout the whole room and everyone turns including myself to stare at Misao as she has just walked in. I watch as she halts in her walking silently eyeing everyone.
"What? Have I missed something?" Misao spoke in confusion. Everyone turns to stare around the room, there eyes once looking over at me and I shake my head walking to the main door opening it, indicating it was time to depart. We had been walking for a couple of minutes and could still hear the small chants of goodbye, safe journey and come back soon being yelled at us. I let out a deep breath knowing this was going to be one hard journey and hopefully a rewarding one as well.
Xxxxxxxx END FLASH BACK xxxxxxxX
I have snapped my eyes open feeling a hand caressing my upper back area, between my shoulder blades. I turn around noticing Misao is standing there, her eyes saddened a little.
"Aoshi-sama, please come back to camp, you'll catch a cold if you stay like this too long." I nod in agreement and get off the rock I had been sitting on and pick up the water to move back to camp.
We arrived at the camp and I noticed Misao had enough branches, twigs and leaves to last the whole night. The fire was burning brightly already making me feel warmer and I noticed Misao had laid my blanket out ready for me to sleep on. She also had gotten out the food we would be eating that night and was heating it up over the fire. I watched as she moved over towards it stirring it silently. I watched as she stirred the food occasionally moving around gathering bowls and chopsticks but never taking her eyes off the food. I am shocked when her gaze turns to me as she has that small secretive smile on her lips as she has caught my gaze. I am stunned into silence and watch as Misao has picked up a long black shirt and is bringing it over to me.
"You'll get sick Aoshi-sama. At least place on a dry shirt." I nod my head and grab the shirt from her. I smirked as she now faced her back to me giving me privacy to change. It was a sweet and cute gesture coming from her. She had already seen my scars and it did not matter. I shook my head taking off my usual tops and placed on the other. I lay out my wet ones hoping the warmth from the fire will dry them for tomorrow. It is then that I remember the thin material of this shirt. It was mine, one that I had bought many years ago for when I was older. I looked down and my eyes widened noticing the characters of my name and Misao's stitched into the material, right were the shirt fell over the heart.
"Misao…" I had spoken quietly caressing the soft material that made the characters of her name. Out the corner of my eye I noticed she had turned around to eye me and gasped in surprise. In a blink of an eye she had rushed over and placed her small hand over our name characteristics and I looked over to see her eyes were closed as though mortified I had seen them. I cleared my throat trying to disregard the warm feeling that flowed through me at Misao's hand placed over my heart. She became a little embarrassed and soon moved her hand away but looked up at me almost frightened.
"I remember giving this to you. I had come back from a mission in another town and bought this for myself. I remember seeing you running awkwardly around the corner of the building as though sensing I was back. You had the cutest kimono on, one that Okon and Omasu had made for you ages ago but you were too small back then. It was completely dirty and your hair was so messy, full of leaves and twigs. You were so excited at seeing me back and asked if I bought you any surprises. I never had the heart to tell you that we had worked 24 hours non stop and I had rushed off buying this shirt in a matter of five minutes. Even though it was so large you loved it very much. You had said…"
"When I get older and this fits me, I'll wear it just for you Aoshi-sama." I looked over noticing Misao had a small smile etched on her lips at remembering this as well. Misao had turned back to the food and began dishing out curry beef and rice. Her back was too me and she soon spoke laughing lightly.
"You know I never really wanted gifts Aoshi-sama." She had turned around giving me some food and chopsticks and sat down on the other side of the fire looking into it and spoke again.
"I just wanted to make sure I was always the first one to see you and to hopefully be able to have you around me even for a few seconds before the others came out to greet you. The gifts were just a bonus." A small smile etched my usually harden features as I looked over at Misao. Her eyes were sparkling brightly and mischievously as she told me that.
"Did you end up keeping anything I gave you?" I spoke curiously. I watched as Misao's laughs quieten down and sensed her temperature rise a little as I noticed her cheeks redden slightly and not because of the fire either.
"Everything…" I felt the swelling of my heart at hearing her small voice whisper this to me. I closed my eyes, then opened them back up and spoke looking over at her once more.
"Such devotion, child love and faith Misao-chan had for her Aoshi-sama." I began eating some food but could feel Misao's eyes staring intently at me. I looked up catching her gaze with mine and spoke quietly while looking back down at my food.
"Your dinner is going cold…" And at that we ate in silence. Minutes passed by as I watched Misao begin to clear everything away. She had already taken my bowl and was cleaning them. She really looked like a true woman taking care of her husband. I bowed my head feeling the heat rise in my own cheeks at thinking such a thing. Would it be that bad? Misao is waiting for me. She'll never be with another man, as she has already chosen whom to love forever. She is patiently waiting for any sign of caring and love coming her way from me. She openly showed her feelings to everyone and me thinking I was oblivious as though not knowing how she felt, how she would always feel. Misao-chan, the small child whom I helped raised, who would never fall asleep unless I was there to tell her some story, had grown up and was now taking care of me. My heart constricts slightly hearing her soft humming as it soothes my soul and takes my pain away. She was already helping me and she didn't even know.
"Aoshi-sama?" I snap my head up hearing Misao whisper my name. She has come closer and wrapped part of my blanket over my shoulders.
"Rest Aoshi-sama, it will do you some good." I nod my head and lay down closing my eyes. I can still feel her presence beside me and again she brushes my long bangs away from my eyes. It is as though only in sleep she has the courage to touch me, as though thinking I would be angered at seeing her touch me during the day and when I am awake. Her soft caresses were sending me to sleep and I soon dozed off forgetting about my nightmares, which usually occurred.
Xx TBC xX
