How could he do this?

It might be mine.

Ever since I had come into my room, that was all I could here. My best friend was about to be a father and had to move back to Chino to do so.

You…you promised.

No I didn't…

Never is a promise, one that you made and were expected to keep. But it serves me right though, huh. Serves me right for trusting some thug from Chino.

I knew I was being overly harsh and severely selfish. I still don't understand what made me say those things. Or what made me use my understanding of him, against him. Cause see, I knew that, because of his defensiveness, Marissa and I were about the only people who now much it irked him to be reduced to the title of 'just another thug', especially with the people he held closest. But when you're looking to hurt someone you use what you have. Then again, jealousy has just about the same result.

When I first realized I was in love with him, I freaked. I mean, it's one thing to accept one's bisexuality, but falling in love with a guy, that was a little much. Seriously, don't I have enough issues? What with bullies, Summer, my awesome social life, Summer, and that girl who likes me but is denial and just happens to suffer from rage blackouts? Not only that but the guy just happens to be the person I'm supposed to see as my brother. You may know him; he's the one with a baby on the way. I know he could never feel the same way but the friendship we've worked so hard to build should mean something to him. Well maybe not "worked so hard" seeing as hit it off the moment he walked through the door. The gaming was actually just a test for me to see if he was fit to hang with Your Awesomeness. But the point is…oh, I don't know what the point is. I bet if I avoid as much as I possibly can I can find out.

Fuck, am I crying? I think to myself. How long have been crying! God, I'm safely in my room and I'm crying.

How can just leave me…I mean us? Doesn't he understand that he's the glue holding us together? Without him Marissa will fall apart. Without him, I'll no longer have the courage to face the monsters that call themselves my peers. The people that Summer can't let go of. Therefore, without him, she'll leave me and I won't even have her to distract me from torpedo of emotions threatening to tear me apart. So whatever I do, I must do it away from here. I can't face anyone when I break down, because it won't be a surprise. Quite the contrary, the adults I see on a daily basis most likely have a psych ward, a psychiatrist and the police on speed dial. After all, it is always the quiet ones.

I already know where I'm gonna go. It shouldn't be a shock…to anyone. People put me through some serious hell. So of course I have made plans of running away. Except this isn't running away, it's taking a secret vacation. It's not really planned out, so it's an unorthodox vacation. Ya know, cause usually vacations are planned? Never mind. I'm pretty sure the civilians of Tahiti will understand. If they speak English, or even call themselves civilians…Tahitians maybe. I'll ask…yeah okay never mind. It'll just have to remain a mystery until I get there.