*

"This is hell.  I am in hell."  Dawn twisted away from her desk to see Alicia staring glumly at her computer screen.

"Hotmail's hell?" She could just see the familiar blue border over Alicia's shoulder.  "You've forgotten your password again, haven't you?  It's swedishchef.  S-W-E…"

"No, I WISH I'd forgotten my password."  Alicia pushed back so that Dawn could read the text of the email, leaning back in her chair and staring at the ceiling in disgust.

"What?"  Dawn finished reading and looked at her roommate, completely confused.  "Isn't that nice?  I mean, it's something to do while you're there…"

"Are you kidding?"  Alicia viciously exited out of the program and stalked over to her bed, flopping onto it face-first.  Her muffled voice was just audible through the pillow.  "First I have to go to my grandmother's for Spring Break, the grandmother that's like a reincarnation of Queen Victoria, NOT the one who bakes cookies and watches 'CSI' with me, the other one.  And now I have to go to see 'CATS' with my deranged cousins who are ten years younger than me and on a total anti-American kick right now.  AUGH!"

Dawn hid a smile.  "Lise, seven year olds suck as a general rule.  And besides, it means that your grandmother's trying to do something nice, rather than have you stuck in the middle of Nowhere, England for a week.  Graciousness to her subjects and all."  Alicia bolted upright, outraged.

"No, it means that we have to drive five hours, from Bath to London, to watch people dressed up as cats prance around and sing.  While I try to prevent three infants from dashing off while their mad, mad MAD parents completely ignore them, as usual, pretending that they're a young cosmopolitan couple on a night out who got stuck bringing the kids and the nanny to a show.  I'm the nanny, by the way," she scowled.  "And then, I'll bet MONEY that we drive back the same night!  MONEY!"  She collapsed on the bed again, groaning in anguish.

"Well, I'll pity you as I wing it back to California," Dawn replied sympathetically.  "Tell you what – the flight's about five hours, so I'll watch the worst possible movie choice.  Twice.  That way you won't have to suffer alone."  Alicia looked up at her, grinning.

"Hee.  What movie?"

"I don't know the choices yet, but something like…. 'The Patriot'.  That would cause pain." Dawn grimaced at the thought.

"And yet, pleasure with the pain, therefore disqualifying it," Alicia vetoed.  "It's got Heath Ledger in it, and I'm talking about maximum distress here.  What else you got?"

Dawn thought.  "Oh – anything with Van Damme, Schwartzenegger or…" Alicia waited.  "Oh, OH!  Nicholas Cage!  Doing an accent!"

"Done!"  Alicia sat up again, visibly cheered.  "And I, in turn, shall try not to kill all three spawn."  She looked shiftily to one side.  "…maybe just one.  They'd never miss it."

"Evil," Dawn chuckled, and then jumped as the phone rang.  Both girls stared at the handset on Dawn's bed, then looked at each other.

"Sean!  Sean, Sean, Sean…"  Alicia began to warble, and Dawn frantically tried to smother her with a pillow while answering the phone. 

"Hello?"  Whoops, a little out of breath, but she still sounded pretty good.  Alicia gurgled under the pillow, and Dawn gave her a shove.

"Hey, Bit?"

"Oh, hi," she replied absently.  "Wrong boy," she said as an aside to Alicia, but Spike caught it easily.

"Oh, is that how it is?  Answer a bleeding message, this is the thanks…"

"NO!  No, no, sorry," Dawn sputtered, waving a hand at a confused Alicia.  "You're a right-boy, too, just a different sort of right-boy."

"And in English, like the rest of the population?"  Spike's tone was sarcastic, but Dawn could tell that he wasn't irritated by her rude opener.  She breathed a little easier.

"In English, there's a guy.  He might call today, and we just got a little jumpy when the phone rang.  But I DID call you, and I'm really glad you called back."  She settled on her bed, pulling her feet up in a reverse-lotus that made Alicia wince.  "Yeah, the message - I'm sorry, but I can't meet up tonight.  There's this paper for a totally EVIL history professor, and he's saying that I've gotten the order of the Chinese dynasties completely wrong, so I have to go and do some research at the library."  She pouted as he sighed audibly on the other end of the line.  "I would blow it off, but it's the last paper of the term, and the library's only open late tonight, and it's worth 50% of my grade, so if I don't finish it I'll get killed in many, many ways."

Spike marveled at the way her vocabulary had changed.  Like any other teenager, "to be killed" once again meant "to get into trouble" and she tossed it into the conversation so casually… the young heal quick, he thought to himself.

"All right, I'll just have to reschedule all of those terribly important and pressing engagements I'd readjusted…"

"Awwwww, SPIKE!" Dawn whined, playing the part.  She knew that he wasn't busy, but it was nice to fall back into this banter she knew so well.  "Well, Lise and I are going to grab something to eat in town before we head to the library, you want to come?  We'll go somewhere with fried onions, I promise."

"Uh…" Dawn was a little surprised when he hedged.  He was usually pretty decisive…  "Yeah, fine.  But I have to pick something up at about eight o'clock, so it'd have to be quick."

"Sure, yeah," Dawn replied, a little hesitantly.  "UNO's at six-thiry?"

"Sundown after seven, so you two start, I'll just show up.  Don't bother ordering for me."  Spike sounded a little curt, and Dawn was afraid that she'd really upset him.

"Spike, I'm really sorry about canceling…"

"No worries, Dawn," he answered in a gentler tone.  And then, quietly: "But we really do have to have a chat about all this, sooner or later.  It's been a week, and there's some… things, we have to get out in the open."

"Sure," Dawn creased her forehead a little.  She hadn't meant to let it go, really, but she'd had lots of work to do, and there were here friends and Sean to spend time with before they all went home for break… Guilt panged through her.  This was obviously an important thing for Spike, and she was letting him down.  The last thing she wanted was for Spike to be disappointed in her, especially after she'd changed so much!  Spike and Sunnydale just seemed so… far away. 

"Hey, Bit?  You remember the protection-tricks the witches used to pull?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda," she replied. 

"You've got a couple of those up and running at your dorm, right?"  He sounded concerned, and Dawn laughed.

"Yeah, don't worry, Buffy helped me set up in August.  And she set up EVERYTHING.  Not that there's anything to worry about around here," she added, looking out the window at the pristine campus, the snow still sticking to tree branches in clumps.  No, nothing out of the ordinary ever happened here – and Dawn was getting to like it.

Spike muttered something on the other end of the phone.  "Can't be too safe."

"Uh, Spike?  New Hampshire.  There's nothing to fear but cows."  Alicia mooed at her from across the room, having only heard half of the conversation.  Dawn grinned at her.  "You're getting scarily good at that, Lise," she called.

"HEY!  What you trying to say?" Alicia shouted, launching a pillow at her.

"Well, don't kill each other before tonight, right?" Spike chuckled down the line.  "Love, I'll see you later, okay?"

"'Kay, Spike!  I promise, I'll make the wild animal behave!" giggled Dawn, ducking a fresh volley.

"I'd like to see you try," snarled Alicia, and all Spike could hear was screeching and laughing as he hung up the phone.

"…and I HATE 'CATS'.  I mean, what the hell IS a "jellicle cat"?  It's not black, not white, not a bunch of other things..." Alicia continued, digging through her pocket for the change to make up her part of the bill.  "Basically, it's never defined.  It's the most annoying premise for the most annoying show in the history of theatre.  And I usually LIKE theatre."  She slid her $10.50 on the tray with Dawn's bills and the collection of coins that made up Spike's contribution. 

Dawn leaned against her friend, happily full, and watched Spike as he tried to follow Alicia's train of thought.  They'd been chattering at him, rapid-fire, since he sat down half an hour before.  Sometimes they could sound like a vaudeville act, she knew, tripping over each other's sentences and puns, barely letting others get a word in edgewise.  It had been like this since they met in September; strangers often thought they were sisters, or childhood friends.  Dawn always felt a rush when people said that.  A childhood friendship was one of many things she couldn't claim, but Alicia made her feel like she had one.

Spike hadn't said much of anything, between his plate of fried food and the girls' banter.  He was grinning, though, and she could tell that he approved of the vibrant brunette sitting across from him. 

Alicia always made friends easily, Dawn had noticed.  It was just something about her, like an aura.  She wasn't beautiful in a conventional sense, and she could never be called petite in the way Buffy and her friends all seemed to be… she was more like Dawn, the new Dawn.  Tall and rangy, more prone to cords and sneakers than miniskirts and heels. Her face was liberally freckled, giving her a mischievous appearance, and her eyes were the brightest green Dawn had ever seen without colored contacts. Lise sparkled with confidence as she chattered to Spike, gesturing easily over the remains of their dinner.  After clearing up a few of the finer points about Spike with Dawn, Alicia had clearly decided he had been given the all-clear.  The "friends of my friends are my friends" policy, as Alicia would say.

"Unfortunately, there's no way out of it, even though I saw the show once when I was ten and honestly?  I think that's enough suffering for one lifetime."  Alicia tipped some ice out of her glass and sucked on it pensively.  "Hey – you must have seen it, Spike.  Don't you agree that it's something that should be reserved only for the torture of lawyers?"

Spike cocked his head and shrugged.  "Sorry, love, can't remember that show." 

Alicia nearly swallowed her ice.  "How could you possibly have missed it!  It's been on in London for about 25 years, hasn't it?  Plaguing audiences for a quarter of a century," she mused, then shuddered convulsively.  "So it had to have been pretty omnipresent when you were growing up." 

She paused.  "How old ARE you, anyway?"

"Ancient," Spike replied, barely, through the last of his onion rings.  Ketchup oozed from a corner of his mouth and Dawn twitched a little at an unwelcome memory.

"And that would be…?" Alicia pressed, completely unaware of what she was asking.

"Oh, I think there are a couple of pyramids that have him beat, right?" Dawn interjected.  Spike growled and pointed at her.

"One of these days, little miss…"  But the ketchup was still there, and the entire sentence set Dawn a little on edge.  She grabbed a napkin and tossed it to Spike.  He looked at her questioningly.

"You got a little foodage goin' on there, killer," Alicia pointed to the edge of her own mouth as a guide.  Spike shot a glance at Dawn as he wiped away the red stain.  She looked at the tablecloth.  The interaction passed Alicia by completely, but even she could feel the sudden change of mood.  She cleared her throat and lifted her eyebrows, fiddling with her nails under the edge of the table.  "Well, then."

"Indeed," Spike sighed, then smiled quickly at the girls.  "Lovely evening, ladies, but I'll have to be moving."  He swung out of the booth easily, and Dawn hastened to clamber out next to him.  She reached out for his hand apologetically, and he let her take it for a moment.  Then he grimaced and began to weave through the tables away from them.

Dawn looked at Alicia dejectedly.  Somehow she'd let it all go wrong again.  She pulled at her hair in irritation, sharp tugs that made her scalp sore.  Alicia noted the gesture and slipped out of the booth. 

"We can catch him, c'mon.  Even I can feel that ended – not well," she stated diplomatically.  Dawn looked at her.  "Move, girl!  Move!" Alicia pushed Dawn ahead of her and they ran out of the restaurant.

"Spike, wait!" Dawn was breathless as she caught up with him; he'd been walking pretty quickly, but it hadn't been hard to pick him out in the parking lot.  His trademark pissed-off walk: head down, stiff shoulders, stalking stiff-legged across the tarmac.  He turned, exhaling loudly.

"Yes?"

"Spike, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off…" she spread her arms wide, shrugging helplessly.  "I guess I'm out of practice."

He paced.  "It's not your fault, Bit – but we need to talk, get stuff out and on the table."  His eyes flickered up to Alicia, who was standing on the other side of the road, trying to be inconspicuous.  "And as much as I like Alicia, I'm thinking that she wouldn't really appreciate the subject matter," he said, scratching at his eyebrow significantly. 

"No, not if it's Sunnydale stuff," she agreed.  They both scuffed at the ground with their feet awkwardly.  "So alone, then?"

"When you like," he shrugged. 

"Yeah," Dawn breathed.  "Well, I have term finals all the rest of this week, but then only a few the week after," she said more decisively, straightening up.  "And the later ones are all french and englishy-stuff, and a really easy geography quiz, more of a joke than anything; there's not much studying I have to do for those, no formulas or anything.  I should be done with my history paper tomorrow – it's all written, I just need to rearrange the dynasties, apparently, hence the research tonight.  But that's not a problem.  The formulas and sciency-bits are the hard parts for me, for some reason."  Okay - rambling, she thought, and stopped.

"Don't want to get in the way of your studying, of course," Spike grumbled half-heartedly. 

"But I WILL have some time over the weekend," she wheedled, sidling over to him and tugging on his sleeve.  "And I want to meet.  I really do.  Saturday night okay?"

He slanted a smile at her, and nodded.  "Yeah, that's fine.  I'll find a place."  He quirked a smile at hear.  "And am I going to get ditched for the right-boy, by any chance?"

"Hell, no!  It's Friday or nothing for him; Saturday, I'm all yours."  She grinned and began to back away, bouncing on the balls of her feet.  "It's settled, then?  OH!"  She canted over sideways as she unexpectedly came up against the curb.  Spike lunged forward, but he couldn't grab Dawn before she came down hard on the pavement.

"OW!" Dawn sucked air through her teeth, wincing.  "That HURT!" 

"Ohmigod, Dee!"  Alicia darted across the street as Spike helped Dawn sit up gingerly.  He settled her carefully on the edge of the curb, worriedly hunched over her shoulder.  Suddenly, he jolted and pulled back, and Dawn swayed a little at the sudden absence of support. 

Alicia crouched down next to her, an arm around her shoulders.  "Are you okay?" 

Dawn was leaning over to her right, scouring the angle where the curb met the tarmac.  She rooted around delicately for a couple of moments before triumphantly snatching something from the shadow.  "Ha!" she grunted, proffering a long shard of glass bottle.  It glinted wickedly, and Alicia took it from her carefully.  "I think it got me."

"Dude, check it out now – if it's bad, I'll go get something from the restaurant," Alicia promised, but she craned closer to Dawn's leg.  "D'you think it went through your pants?"

"Yeah, feels like it.  Auuugh, new jeans and everything!  Fuck it," Dawn winced, pulling up the denim leg.  In the glare of the parking-lot floodlights, a long gash glowed darkly against her pale skin.  She gestured behind her in Spike's direction, too busy inspecting her leg to bother looking up.  "Don't you dare say ANYTHING about my milky-white complexion, Spike, there's no sun in New England – as I'm sure you've noticed."  Dammit, it hurt a lot – and she hoped it wouldn't leave a scar.  Right down her shinbone; figures.

Alicia squinted at Dawn's leg, prodding gently with a finger.  "No, it looks bad, but it's shallow – like one of those scrapes you get while shaving?  Bleeds like a motherfucker, but I wouldn't worry."  She stood halfway up and reached a hand down to Dawn.  "What Band-Aids were made for, bud.  Spike, could you throw this out?"  She held the shard of glass out expectantly, not looking.

But she got no answer.  Dawn looked behind them, realizing that they hadn't heard from him for a while.  There was no one there, just the blinking lights of the strip mall across the main road.  Spike had vanished.

"Well, that's nice," Alicia said, miffed.  "I know he was in a hurry, but what the hell?"

"Yeah," Dawn agreed, annoyed.  Thanks, then, Spike.  Her leg twinged again and she turned back around, carefully sliding her jeans leg down over the slice on her shin.  It was gushing pretty badly now.  "Lise, I think I'm going to have to get this washed out – help me to the bathrooms?"

"Duh, of course I will," Alicia sniffed, still scouring the parking lot for a sign of Spike.  "Jeez, I still think…."

"Leave it, Lise," Dawn said shortly, struggling to her feet.  She didn't want to think about Spike abandoning her right now.  Alicia was immediately there, offering her arm to lean on and carefully watching the way Dawn moved on her feet. They shuffled towards the restaurant slowly, silently, and Dawn shook her head.  Life was getting complicated again.

2:00, Alicia's clock glowed redly across the room.  Dawn turned over in her bed, her mind flitting around too frantically to sleep.  Alicia had insisted that Dawn get into bed at 12:00, first quoting her injury, then exams, and then admitting that she herself was exhausted.  In fact, Dawn estimated, Alicia'd been asleep minutes after her head hit the pillow.  But Dawn was still awake, and her 9 AM class was closer every moment.

Dawn shifted again, unable to stop an irritating sensation in her head that she was forgetting something.  Something big, her mind kept saying, something very big.  She'd been turning things over in her mind all night, from schoolwork to friendships to her calls back home, but she couldn't pick out anything in particular.  It was the most annoying thing, watching the numbers tick by on the clock, not being able to figure out what she should be worried about.  She stared at the ceiling and exhaled powerfully.

Spike.

It was as though someone shouted his name in her head.  She sat straight up in bed as certain pieces of information suddenly clicked into sequence in her head.  Spike meeting her friends – what had he said to Alicia?  "See you again soon?"  Why?  Why did he assume he'd see her again, if he wanted to meet Dawn alone?  And why did he want to know if her dorm had been Hellmouth-ized?  "Can't be too safe"…

She began to shake, clutching the blankets to her tight.  He wanted to meet her alone, without her friends, after not seeing her for almost two years.  He hadn't told her where he'd been, he'd changed his appearance, he'd stated almost forcefully that he'd hurt Buffy… hurt BADLY, if she remembered rightly. 

And then there was tonight.  He'd been fine when he thought she'd only fallen down, but then he'd disappeared, just as she realized that she was bleeding.  Really bleeding.  He'd gone. On a mysterious errand that he'd apparently scheduled at the same time that they'd originally been meant to meet.  What the hell had he needed just before he saw her?  Was it something special for when he picked her up, brought her somewhere abandoned and had her alone?

Oh fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck.  "The chip."

TBC