Chapter 20

A week had past since their conversation about Cameron coming to the island to live. The height of the holiday season was upon them once again. Every year since the first Christmas, Elizabeth and her grandfather attended four Christmas balls not counting the one they hosted on the island, two masses by the Pope (one private and the other public), and a prayer vigil for the fallen Cassadines. It was amazing to learn what a substantial amount of money could buy. Elizabeth felt uncomfortable with the knowledge that one day "she" was to inherit such wealth and power. Oddly enough, Elizabeth looked forward to the Marick ball and the masses. It was because of these holiday events that she knew she was a Cassadine. The Marick ball was a gala event. It was the only time Elizabeth danced and felt light-hearted. One would never guess that night the horrible life she lived each day the rest of the year. The truth was that Anton Marick reminded her of Lucky. She missed him more as each day past. In the beginning, she often wondered if he thought she was still alive, but time killed those hopes and Elizabeth quickly realized that escape was pointless. A truth she'd never reveal, because no one would ever understand. He like the rest of her friends and Gram believed her to be dead these last five years. It was one of many truths that caused her a great deal of emotional pain. The painful truths she learned about being a Cassadine affected her beliefs of the Christmas masses. In her mind, the masses were her only chance to pray for death. She thought, "If the Pope were there, then God must be listening." However, this year was different and her prayer would, also, be different. She had a reason to live again. After coming to terms with Audrey's death, it seemed to have sparked a desire to live not merely survive the cruel twist of fate life handed her. This year she had only one prayer, "To be allowed to raise her son." Several frightening thoughts suddenly crossed her mind. "What if he doesn't remember me? What if he's afraid of me? What if he won't accept my love? What if he doesn't forgive me for not being there all those years?" Tears sprang into her eyes and she decided to retire to her bed chambers for the evening.