Chapter 4
Lily ran through the common room, and was putting on quite the spectacle for the 5 or 6 3rd year boys still doing homework. As Lily ran up to her dorm she was followed by cat calls and whistles, but she didn't hear them she was too concerned with what she had just done. She had cause Sirius and James to beat each other, and for no real apparent reason. Yeah James had made comments that made her angry, but so what he had been doing things like that since 1st year. Then Lily decided to go see how Topher was doing, at least that would take her mind off of things. But one thing was still bothering her, why would she care about what James said unless she liked him. Lily quickly shook the thoughts out of her head, and decided that she was just thinking too deeply into things.
"Sirius, I'm going to go for a walk. I need to figure out a few things, you know about me, Abbey, Lily, and just everything in general," said James as he lay awake in his bed.
"Ok man, whatever works for you. Do you want me to come with you?" asked Sirius.
"No, plus you don't want to, I can tell," replied James as he pulled on some pants, a hoodie, grabbed his cloak, and the Marauder' Map, just in case.
"You're right, I don't want to come, but I figured I'd offer to sound like I care about it or something," mumbled Sirius as he started to fall off to sleep.
When James reached the common room he saw Remus and Peter trying to finish some transfiguration homework. Well, it was more like Remus was trying to help Peter finish Transfiguration homework. "I'm going for a walk so I'll see you in a bit, k?"
"Yeah see you later James," said a very frustrated Remus. "Now Pete lets try this again, Swish, flick and poke. It's one clean movement, oh for God's sake Peter you're an animagus this should be a piece of cake for you."
At the same time Lily was saying good bye to Topher, Samantha, and Abbey. "Night babe, hope you feel better in the morning," whispered Lily, lightly kissing Topher.
"Cya tomorrow."
Madam Pomphrey had shooed out Abbey, Sam, and Lily because it was eight thirty and the hospital wing was closing to visitors.
"Hey, I'll see you guys later. I'm just going to go for walk, you know try to get my thoughts together," Lily said to Samantha and Abbey.
"Ok, see ya Lily. Don't get caught if you're out too late!" called Sam to Lily's retreating back as she walked down the corridor. As Lily came around the corner she saw James's back whip around the corner, and a large piece of parchment fell out of his bag.
"Hm…what's this?" Lily picked up the parchment, "The Marauder's Map," read Lily, "Well, well, well, of course should have known the marauders would come up with some sort of tricked up map." Lily opened the map still visible because James hadn't cleared it yet. "Wow, this is amazing," said Lily. While she was looking at the map, she saw a little moving dot that said 'James Potter' and another dot that said 'Lily Evans,' there was one for Filch and one for Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Panes. Lily put the map in her bag as she headed out onto the snowy grounds, it was an incredible sight, the almost full moon lit up the light snow. 'I wonder where wonder boy Potter has gone, I can't see him anywhere, and the map showed him out on the grounds, oh well it doesn't really matter anyway' thought Lily as she pulled her cloak tighter around her. What Lily didn't know, was that she was bring watched, by James.
He was on the other side of the lake, and when he saw Lily walk out of the front doors he decided to just sit on a rock and watch her. She was so beautiful, in his eyes, but he just couldn't seem to get her to fall for him like other girls did. But in the back of his mind he kept seeing Lily kissing Sirius, and wishing that that was him she was kissing. Then James had an idea, yes folks an idea, good for you James, Lily wouldn't trust or talk to James, but she would probably talk to or possibly ride Prongs. So following his outrageous scheme, James transformed and began to make his way around the lake to where Lily was lying just admiring the stars.
Lily heard soft thuds coming closer to her, it sounded like soft hoof beats. Hmm…that was weird. Then Lily saw a gorgeous stag cantering around the lake to where she was. 'Odd,' thought Lily as the stag slowed down and stopped in front of her, 'I wonder if he's friendly.' Most of the time, especially in the muggle world you wouldn't trust some random wild animal, but this was the magical world and the animals were more intelligent than most or at least had some odd magic in them that kept them from injuring humans for sport. "Hey boy, sorry I don't have any food for you."
The stag just stamped the ground where he was and looked at her with huge, deep, brown eyes. For some reason this animal was comforting, and made Lily feel like she could, I don't know, talk to it. (a/n: I love animals for that, you talk they listen, don't talk back, and always take your side on the matter) Lily sat back down into the soft snow, and to her absolute amazement the stag bent his knees and gently fell to the ground as well. "You don't want food do you? Well that would be a perk, but…oh goodness I can't believe I'm talking to a stag," laughed Lily.
James couldn't have been happier, Lily was sitting next to him stroking his forehead, ok not exactly romantic, but it felt good as a stag, and talking to him without the usual scowl she wore when she talked to James Potter. But either way she was there, and even if she had a boyfriend, she thought he was a stag, and hated him relentlessly, this moment was still perfect in James's eyes.
"Do you know what I mean, boy? Course you don't, sorry. But it's just so confusing I don't think I like James, but I feel jealous when I see him around Abbey. It's like she's accidentally butting in on my territory, the territory that has always been mine. Like a comfort zone, but then I hurt him so badly today that I don't think he's ever going to talk to me again. And I actually felt bad about it! I sort of care for him, I guess, I mean I don't want anything bad to happen to him. He just always hanging around all the time; especially around Topher. Topher, now that's a relationship I really can't understand. He's so sweet and he's generally perfect, but something isn't right. It's just like, er, we aren't 'meant to be.' He's not the one, but I don't really know who is. I know who wants to be 'the one,' but one day James is going to wake up, smell the coffee, and realize that he has to move on. But what if I'm all wrong? What if I am really meant to be with James, and I'm just living my life in denial of my true feelings. I don't know what I would do if I was really meant to be with James and never gave him a chance. Maybe I should go out with James and see if we really are meant to be. Sometimes I actually like James, but other times I don't. Like when he's picking on people like Snape. Yes Snape's a jerk, but James doesn't have to be so mean to him just because he can. He knows that people like him and hate Snape, so he thinks that gives him permission to do anything he wants to him. Wow I'm so confused. I don't know what I'm going to do, arg, this is all so confusing and I can't really talk to anyone about it because no one understands. They would all just tell me to go out with James and be happy, but I can't be happy if I'm being forced to go out with someone. Can I?" As Lily concluded her little speech James decided to see if she would ride him.
So he slowly got up, but only half way. Inviting Lily to climb on, and Lily luckily caught on to the stag's movements and climbed up his back. James began to trot around slowly, and as smoothly as possible, so not to throw her off balance. When he realized she was going to be ok, he started to slowly canter. After about twenty minutes of roaming around the grounds, the stag slowly came to a halt and gently let Lily slide off.
"Thanks boy, you're amazing," said Lily as she gave the stag a kiss on the nose. As she walked away Lily remembered another thing that had been bothering her, "Oh yeah and what's up with their little nick names. I mean really Prongs who goes by Prongs? You'd think he had horns or something…..JAMES POTTER!" screamed Lily, realization suddenly flooding through her.
Hey hey! Yeah I know that Lily's speech is a little confusing, but it's supposed to be, b/c she's just rambleing. Sometimes it feel better if I can just sit down and talk to someone (well sometimes I use my horse's ever listening ears, poor girl), and even if what I'm saying makes no sense I feel better just talking. So Lily is doing just that- talking nonsense. PLEASE review, if you love it hate it don't care tell me I'm open to anything. So take a sec, please (see i'm being polite) and write good, bad, anything really. thanx.
