Chapter 3
The students filed into Professor Snape's room with expressions as grim as a pro-lifer with a miscarriage, with the exception of Alex who had a mildly interested smirk on her face derived from watching David fight every homicidal maniac's intense hatred of green.
"I HATE GREEN!" he shouted, startling even the tougher of the first years. Even Professor Snape looked slightly bewildered at the Korean fellow's outburst. He regained his composure and snarled at the petrified students.
"Take a seat," he growled. Incredibly intimidated, the Ravenclaws and Slytherins scrambled to find seats. Alex was fortunate enough to find herself seated next to David. David was clawing at his robes with one hand, and holding his head in agony with the other. Alex was rolling her eyes. And Snape began the lesson.
"Today we will be working on a new concoction I've brewed up. You will be trying out your potions on the person unfortunate enough to be sitting next to you."
Alex felt her blood run cold as a thousand conspiracy theories ran through her head. Alex knew he hated first years, but not quite that much. Or maybe David had some freaky Korean control spell cast on Snape in order to get rid of Alex once and for all. Or it was possibly just all in her head, but she doubted that possibility. As she pondered, Snape continued.
"The desired effect of this potion is mind-blowing happiness. The necessary ingredients are Splenda, dehydrated monkey urine, ground rhinoceros beetle carcasses, and Viagra."
The entire class started tittering at the mention of the V-word. Alex rolled her eyes yet again. Exactly what was so hilarious about Viagra? While Professor Snape was trying to regain control of the class, Alex added in her ingredients, and made a perfect potion with just a few slight alterations, and concentrated on tying her shoelaces just right while the rest of the class made disgusted faces at the monkey pee. Finally, Snape called for the testing.
Alex hesitantly tried David's oddly-colored brew. She turned a violent shade of green and puked right then and there, all over the dungeon floor.
It was then David's turn. As soon as Alex's potion touched his lips he was curled up into the fetal position and tears of melancholy and angst fell from his face. Once the tears were done pouring, he got back up, and began to write.
My life sucks
It's so hard to be me
You have no idea what it's like
Pulling all B's
At this point the class was roaring with laughter. Snape was absolutely infuriated.
"What have you done to him!" he screamed. Alex could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. Alex contemplated her response, then opened her mouth.
"It's not my fault, Professor. He has blue blood, so it's no surprise that my potion, which was perfect, had an opposite effect on David there."
Snape's rage deepened. "I'll see you in detention tonight, Miss Johnston." He walked off, a smug smirk creeping across his visage, and dismissed the class.
