We had been walking for about half an hour and my feet were getting sore wearing these stupid shoes. 'Hannya, Beshimi, Hyotokko and Shijuksho', I placed my hand over my heart at hearing him say this. Was he really taking me to see them? Will I finally be able to see their resting-place? I questioned inside my head.
"A-Aoshi-sama? Are you really taking me to see were they rest?" I looked up at him to see him nod once and bowed my head speaking quietly once more.
"Thank you…" I looked down as his large hand wrapped over mine as he guided me through the thick foliage of the forest making sure I didn't trip over anything. Minutes passed and we soon made it to a clearing and in front of me lay 4 large stones emitting the auras of our four fallen comrades and friends. I silently stepped forward, dropping my hand away from Aoshi-sama's, coming closer to Hannya's stone and fell to the ground hugging it just wanting to be close. I had no idea when I started crying but I couldn't stop either.
"I miss you all so very much." I spoke aloud hoping they could hear me or even see me as well. Minutes passed by as I pulled away and sat in front of all the stones and looked over them. I smiled tearfully and spoke once more looking up to the heavens.
"I'll take care of him, I promise you all." I closed my eyes having some flash backs of the four of them and Aoshi-sama and soon felt a hand on my shoulder. I stood up knowing who it was and turned to see Aoshi-sama looking down at me. I smiled up at him and we began walking back to Kaoru's.
"Thank you for letting me see them again Aoshi-sama and for letting me say goodbye too." He said nothing in return and I concentrated on not wanting to fall over.
xxxxxxx
Hours passed, as I lay awake in the futon just staring up at the dark ceiling. I wished the others were with me and they could see how much Aoshi-sama had changed. They could see he was coming back. I turned my head looking at his peaceful face. He seemed so troubled years ago when he was awake and maybe even sometimes to this day but it was as though in his sleep nothing was wrong. I brushed the thought aside and soon rolled onto my back and fell back to sleep.
xxxxxxx
I groaned awake as the sunlight was shining in through the window and rolled over looking at the other futon. My eyes widened as Aoshi-sama was not in it and I dressed in some long pants and a comfy shirt and walked out holding my right ribs slightly. I found the others up, well except Sano that is, and eating breakfast. I noticed Aoshi was not in here and turned to leave but stopped when Megumi-san spoke.
"I will check your injuries before you go off to find Aoshi-san Misao." I nodded my head silently and waited for her to get up from the table. I turned around to ask them if they knew where he had gone.
"Do you know where he is?"
"I saw him walking to the forest, he didn't even take an umbrella…it has been raining for some time now." I looked out the window as a small shower started but the rumbling of thunder indicated something more was coming soon.
xxxxxxx
I knew exactly where Aoshi-sama was and once Megumi finished up wrapping my ribs and mixing some herbs into my tea I grabbed an umbrella to go find him.
xxxxxxx
I had been walking for sometime now and realised there was no path leading to the gravestones. I quickly made a decision and climbed over numerous branches and rocks and realised the way we went yesterday wasn't this drastic.
I finally came to a clearing and stopped dead in my tracks as I found the stones. I watched silently as Aoshi-sama had his back to me and was touching each of the stones. I realised I had come in a different way as he finally moved around to face them properly but hadn't noticed I was here. I could see his mouth was moving but was too far away to hear his words. I stepped forward coming out of the forest and placed my hand over my heart when I watched as he fell to his knees subduing himself back into his guilt. NO! Misao do something! A small voice inside of me spoke. I quickly ran the rest of the way over and kneeled in front of him placing the umbrella over his soaked form. His head jerked up and I watched his eyes widened noticing it was I.
"Go away Misao…" My eyes narrowed at his coldness but I soon dropped the umbrella when I saw one lone tear break away from hid hardened features and watched it trail down his face. That one tear broke everything away from me and I sat up on my knees wrapping him up in my embrace.
"Never Aoshi-sama!" I lay my head on top of his shielding him from being soaked by the rain even more and soon felt his left arm wrap around my waist while his right wrapped around my shoulders and he buried his face under my chin. Minutes passed and he soon let go pushing me away and standing up. I stood up a little shocked at his behaviour and spoke in a small voice full of worry.
"Aoshi-sama tell me what's happening?"
"Its nothing Misao, we really should go." I fisted my hands and reefed up the umbrella and began walking off. So stubborn! I can't believe he's being like this and to me of all people!
"Do you want to spar when we get back Misao?" Sparring? Letting out all my anger and frustration? Maybe it'll get through his thick head then. Maybe he'll understand. I silently spoke inside myself.
"Fine." I had spoken in an emotionless voice making sure he didn't know how much he was hurting me.
xxxxxxx
We entered the training hall when we arrived back at the house as we had changed into drier clothes. I realised Yahiko was showing the others, excluding Kaoru who was probably resting, what he had learnt from Aoshi-sama the other day but they all stopped talking and looked at us. Aoshi-sama waved them off and he soon handed me a bokken. I stood looking at him and raised the bokken ready to fight.
xxxxxxx
Again we must have been sparring for at least twenty minutes and I knew the others had stopped talking to watch the both of us.
"Come on Misao say something!" I clenched my teeth and screamed lashing out at him and was surprised I connected with his arm. I felt guilty but soon threw the bokken over the other side of the hall and spoke angrily at him not even caring that the others could hear my ever word.
"You want to hear hurtful words Aoshi-sama? FINE! I'LL GIVE YOU HURTFUL WORDS! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON I HAVE EVER MET! You're mean, emotionless, and insensitive because you only think of yourself and your cold. Out of all of that you are HEARTLESS! How long have I been with you Aoshi-sama? I bring you tea, keep you company and talk to you hoping everyday you'd open up to me. Except all my hopes and dreams are smashed and broken into tiny pieces when you don't let me inside, you brush me away as though I am nothing. I have not even received one word of thanks from you for being with you for so long! You're being so SELFISH! It's not just you who is hurting but its me as well! I have held onto hope for so long thinking you would show me one little glimpse that you ever cared for me as Misao, just plain Misao and not the child you helped raised. My heart breaks as you push me further and further away and even though you do this I…I STILL CARE FOR YOU! No matter how much you hurt me and push me away Aoshi-sama I will never be with another because I can't love anyone like I love you! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS!" My hand came out on its own and I felt it connect with his cheek. My tear filled eyes were wide at what I had done and I soon raced from the hall sobbing painfully.
I found my way to Kaoru's room and flung the door open and ran to her bed falling down sobbing loudly once more. I felt her arms wrap around me as I buried my face into my hands and cried brokenly to her.
"Misao what happened? What's wrong?" I shook my head not wanting to say anything. I just wanted to be comforted for once. I felt angered at myself that even though I was crying over that dumb jerk I wanted him to walk in and wrap me up in his warm embrace and tell me everything will be all right. I pulled away from her and stood wiping my eyes.
"Thanks Kaoru." I raced out of the room not wanting her to ask me any questions and dived into my waiting futon and curled up under the blankets, head and all, and fell into a restless sleep. I moaned as I heard my own voice running through the dark area I was standing in, in my mind. …My heart breaks as you push me further and further away and even though you do this I…I STILL CARE FOR YOU! No matter how much you hurt me and push me away Aoshi-sama I will never be with another because I can't love anyone like I love you! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS! I jolted awake panting a little at hearing the last line and turned my gaze to the other futon. I frowned when I realised it was empty, actually no one had slept in it at all. I noticed his kodachi's were gone but his bag and trenchcoat where still here. I lay back down on the bed and looked over at the window. I couldn't believe how rude I was. Would I apologise when I see him next? Would I see him tomorrow? I silently asked myself. Kenshin and Kaoru were getting married tomorrow, I doubt I'd see him until the actual wedding. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I now realised how deeply I had spoken about my feelings to him, to everyone. I told him I loved him. I turned over feeling mortified and hoped to god no one would bring it up. I stared over at the empty futon and soon got out of mine and crawled into his. His forest and rain scent fell around me and I soon fell asleep thinking of him and knew silent tears fell down my cheeks.
xxxxxxx
"MISAO! GET UP ALREADY!" I groaned hearing Kaoru's loud voice just outside the door. The Wedding! I bolted awake and quickly dressed and walked out the door to see Kaoru and Megumi standing in the hall waiting for me. I was stunned as their hair and the light make-up, aside from Megumi's red lips, was beautiful. I was soon pushed down the hallway towards Kaoru's room. I sat on the ground as Kaoru began with the light make-up not trusting Megumi-san. My usual braid again was undone as my hair fell around me and onto the wooden floorboards and Megumi-san began brushing it.
"I think your hair looks pretty down, don't you agree Kaoru?" Megumi had spoken and they both moved me over to the mirror and sat behind me having a look. I placed a small smile on my face and I was pulled up as Kaoru brought out two kimonos. Megumi and I gasped at the same time. I guess she had no clue about them either. The underdresses were made of complete silk. Kaoru had handed the deep purple one to Megumi while the ice-blue one was for me. She soon brought out two kimono coats which were thickly made to ward off any cold; one being deep red to go with Megumi's while mine was a deep blue. We watched as Kaoru began to dress in a pearly white silk under dress while her kimono coat was white with gold and yellow cherry blossoms. She was glowing with happiness and we all hugged each other feeling overly happy.
"Megumi is Kenshin going to be alright with Sano?" Kaoru asked worriedly.
"Knowing Roosterhead probably not!" I watched as she laughed in her typical way and saw the slight frown come over Kaoru. She was about to speak but was cut off by Megumi-san speaking again.
"Aoshi-san is with them as well and although he is hard headed he wouldn't have let Sano go too far over the top at trying to get Kenshin insanely drunk." My eyes widened hearing his name. I relaxed my shoulders knowing he was all right and was just out with the others. I jerked my head up being knocked out of my thoughts and looked to see Kaoru with her hands on my shoulders staring into my eyes.
"Misao are you going to be okay?" I placed a smile on my face not ruining her big day for her and nodded my head confidently. We all turned to the closed window as we heard some talking and laughing coming from the backyard. We peeked out the window to see numerous guests arrived. Yahiko was standing pretty close to Tsubame with Tae next to her while Dr Genzai spoke to a few other people Kaoru happened to know and watched as his grand daughters ran around happily.
"Nervous Kaoru?" I spoke looking over at her and realised she was transfixed on someone as she stared out the window not even registering what I had said. I looked over at Megumi and she was the same as well. I finally decided to seek out whom they were staring at and froze looking at Sano, Kenshin and Aoshi. They all wore black hakamas with white undershirts peeking out from the long sleeves and hem. Sano had picked up Ayame-chan and tickled her as her cute giggles filled the whole yard. I watched as Aoshi-sama squatted down speaking to Suzume-chan and I was shocked as he seemed to be when she placed a small kiss on his cheek. He stood up taking her with him as she had wrapped her small arms around his neck and placed her head against his right collarbone and shoulder area. He and Sano began nodding politely to other guests and they both seemed to point to Dr Genzai sometimes. I bet they thought Ayame and Suzume where their daughters. They were both so cute as they were dressed in their best kimonos with some flowers placed in their hair. I watched as Sano and Aoshi-sama spoke and placed them on the ground and they raced over to sit down, as did other guests. I stepped away from the window grabbing Kaoru's flowers and thrust them in her face. She was slightly shocked but I spoke snapping her out of her Kenshin daze.
"Come on Kaoru he's waiting for you." She lightly blushed and grabbed the flowers as we walked out the door. We stood at the back door hiding Kaoru from view as Megumi yelled for Kenshin to turn around so he couldn't see her yet. Kaoru had found a few people who could play some instruments as the played a tune so she could begin walking down into the garden, well after Megumi and myself that is. I quickly grabbed Megumi's arm stopping her from walking and spoke once more.
"Please don't walk fast." She muffled her slight giggling with her hand but nodded her head and she descended the stairs as did I and we made it down onto the grass.
Megumi and I were standing to the side. I could see Sano was eyeing Megumi off quite shocked at how lovely she looked. Standing next to him was Aoshi-sama but I never lifted my eyes above his chest to look up at him. I was completely embarrassed about what happened yesterday and now wasn't the time to think about it as the wedding ceremony had begun.
Xx TBC xX
