Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. I get tired of saying that!

Warning: Contains major *OOTP SPOILERS* and *SB/RL SLASH*. If you wish to avoid those things, please turn back now.

Notes: *PLEASE READ!* This story is COMPLETELY AU, meaning it never happened and probably never will (sadly). This is just me trying to bring back the character I love the most.


~*~*~*~*~
Back from Beyond the Veil, Part 4




Remus and Harry entered the kitchen to find it populated by Weasleys, Mundungus, Tonks, Sirius, Hermione, Kingsley, Moody, and Fleur Delacour, who had been brought along by Bill. Currently, Fleur, Hermione, and Ginny were giggling wildly as they tried to put Sirius' hair into braids.
You know, if you stopped laughing, you'd have a better time of it, Sirius stated as Fleur had to undo another crooked plait.
I'm so sorry, Meester Black, Fleur giggled, wiping tears from her eyes. But Ermione keeps poking me! -
Bill grinned and punched Sirius in the arm, indicating his own long hair, neatly braided and tied with a strip of leather. See what I have to go through for this?
Fred and George started laughing at that, and Bill got up, stood behind them, and grabbed them both in a headlock.
Fred and George choked. S-sorry, B-B-Bill!
I geeve up! Fleur cried as Bill released his younger brothers. This ees impossible!
It's all right, Fleur, Sirius said, smiling and kissing her hand. I'll have Remmie braid it for me.
Come, now, girls, Molly called. Help me serve all this.

Once everyone had calmed down and been served, Fred and George cast mischievous looks at each other, then at Sirius.
Why are you looking at me like that? Sirius asked warily, looking at them from over his beef stew.
We were just wondering something, Fred said innocently.
Yeah. Like, what are you gonna do now that you're pardoned? George asked.
Are you gonna find whoever it was that double-crossed you and make them pay?
Or make a rush on You-Know-Who?
Or -
Sirius held up a hand, silencing them. The only thing I intend to do, he said, Is protect Harry and try my best to undermine Voldemort's plans. Revenge is the last thing from my mind - it's not like it matters, anyway. I didn't die, so why do I need to get revenge on Bell- that person?
So you know who it was? Fred asked, wide-eyed.
It was his cousin, Bellatrix, Harry piped up.
One of those Death Eaters that escaped from Azkaban? George asked, his brow furrowing.
Yes, her, Hermione said.
Sirius gave a sigh, apparently giving up entirely. Yes, Bellatrix. My oh-so-loving cousin. You'd have to be wearing lead earmuffs to miss the sarcasm in his voice.
And you... don't want to go after her? Fred asked, frowning in disbelief. Obviously he and George thought Sirius would have jumped at the chance, now that he had finally been granted his freedom.

Sirius, did you get all the gremlins in the pantry? Molly asked loudly at that moment, her tone of voice and the look she gave her sons making it obvious that the subject was closed.
Sirius nodded as he twirled more spaghetti around his fork. Yes, I think it's the last of them. We can start scrubbing the pantry this afternoon, or wait until tomorrow and venture up into the attic.
What's in the attic? Ron asked, helping himself to another slice of garlic bread.
God only knows. Something small and noisy, anyway. I kept hearing bumps and thumps up there last night.
Funny, I could only hear thumps and bumps last night too, said Bill, giving Sirius and Remus a Look.
Everyone blushed and ignored that.
Do you ave any idea what could be up in ze attic? Fleur asked after a few moments of awkward silence.
Everyone turned to Remus, their expert on Dark creatures.
For all I know, more doxies and perhaps a boggart or two.
Ugh. Such fun, Tonks sighed.

~*~*~*~*~

That night, Sirius and Remus climbed into bed, exhausted from battling doxies, gremlins, a ghoul, and several large, green spiders that had all been living in the attic.
I never want to go through that again, Sirius muttered. I hate spiders.
You could have gone with Ron to see what's on the telly'.
Sirius sniggered. Poor kid. I don't blame him a bit - especially after hearing about the trip he and Harry made into the Forbidden Forest to see Hagrid's spiders.
If they don't watch out, they're going to turn out as bad as you and Jim, Remus sighed.
I've got news for you. Jim and I were *much* worse than Harry and Ron by fifth year.
Agreed. Probably because Hermione has better control of them than I had over you.
Sirius smiled as they turned out the light and snuggled close. Look at the control you have over me now.
Oh, please. You act as if I drag you along on a leash all day.
That might be fun. Sirius replied, kissing Remus' neck.
Down, boy. I'm much too tired tonight.
Oh, all right, pouted Sirius.
He put an arm around Remus and closed his eyes. He slipped off into sleep in no time....

Sirius opened his eyes, and found himself lying on the floor of a room decorated entirely in black. The only light came from a single candle which burned with a purple flame. A black veil, hanging from an ancient scrolled archway, was located at the other end of the room.
His heart began to race as he realized where he was. It had all been a dream. He was still dead, he hadn't escaped from behind the Veil at all. He must have fainted, or been knocked out, and dreamed it all. He tried to stand and realized he could barely feel his legs. They seemed to be paralyzed, and he couldn't rise, though he tried his hardest to.
We've taken you back, a voice said from behind him. Sirius looked over his shoulder to see Rei, Jiyu, and Umi standing there.
Your lover's blood was not worthy enough of a sacrifice to keep you in the mortal world, Umi said.
No! You're wrong! You - you said it would be perfect! Sirius gasped. You said I could stay!
We have decided to return you here, Rei said. We cannot allow anyone to escape from the Veil this way!
Sirius tried to protest, but Jiyu pointed her finger toward the Veil.
He looked. He blinked. It seemed like the veil had turned into a giant cinema screen, on which was a picture of Harry and Remus, apparently unconscious. They were tied to a long metal pole.
What did you do to them? he asked instantly.
You will not come willingly with us. But we cannot leave you. So your decision is this - come with us quietly, or -
Jiyu twitched a finger. In horror, Sirius watched as a streak of what appeared to be lightning struck the metal pole, giving Harry and Remus a severe shock and making them both awaken with screams of pain. She twitched her finger once more, stopping the flow of electricity. Looking stunned and hurt, Remus was looking all around as if to locate his attacker; Harry's chin rested on his chest and his teeth were bared in a grimace of pain.

Let them go! Sirius shouted in tears. Let them GO!
Not unless you come with us! Rei ordered.
No! Let them go!
Then you leave us no choice! Umi shouted, and Harry and Remus began to scream again, in agony, and Sirius screamed too.... please let it be a dream, please, please, he begged silently. Please... don't let it be real.....


With a strangled cry, Sirius sat up in bed, gazing around in terror. The room was entirely dark. He choked down another scream, terrified he hadn't awakened at all. But his eyes adjusted to the pale moonlight streaming in through the window, and he could see the dim outlines of furniture around him.
The lamp suddenly sputtered to life and Remus whispered, What is it? Love, what's wrong?
Sirius didn't answer right away. He stared, wide-eyed, around the room he shared with Remus, which had been his own bedroom as a child - the dark mahogany furniture, the peeling crimson-and-ivory-striped wallpaper, the ancient and faded Persian rug on the hardwood floor. He lowered his face into his hands and began to weep.
Remus pulled Sirius into his arms, hugging him close and stroking his hair. He held him for the better part of an hour, until Sirius' sobs turned into whimpers and finally faded to sniffles.
Once Sirius had regained control of himself, Remus let him go. He picked up his brush from the nightstand and began to brush his lover's hair.
Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?
Sirius said, sounding a bit stuffy-nosed. I feel stupid saying it, but I had a bad dream.
What was it about? Remus asked calmly, putting down his brush and twisting Sirius' long, silky hair into a thick braid.
I was back.... behind the veil, Sirius muttered, and shuddered. They.... took me back. Tortured... you and Harry........ because I refused to go........
Remus tied off the end of the braid and placed a kiss on Sirius' bare shoulder. It was bad, wasn't it?
Sirius whispered. Worse than.... the dementors, even....
It's over now, Remus murmured soothingly, taking his mate in his arms once more. You're not there. You're here with me. You're safe.
Sirius burrowed his head against Remus' neck. I love you, he whispered.
I love you too, Remus said softly. He got Sirius to lay down once more, and turned out the light. Remus felt rather than heard Sirius' sharp intake of breath when the darkness enfolded them once more; but Remus kissed his forehead and played absentmindedly with his braid.
It's okay now, my love. Go back to sleep. he whispered.

Sirius closed his eyes obediently but didn't fall asleep at once. He just dozed, taking comfort in Remus' arms around him and the sound of the other man's heartbeat. After awhile, Remus' hand went limp and dropped the braid; his breathing slowed. Sirius lay still, listening to Remus sleep. He didn't fall asleep himself until the sun started to come up.

~*~*~*~*~

Sirius wasn't at breakfast the next morning, though Remus was, looking a trifle peaky. Harry wondered where his godfather was, but Fleur beat him to the question.
Where ees Meester Black? she inquired.
Still sleeping, Remus replied. He didn't sleep too well last night.
I wouldn't expect him to, not after what he went though, said Bill. Coming out of that without a few nights of broken sleep? I'd be amazed if he didn't.
Now, now, he'll be all right, Mrs. Weasley said briskly, dishing out the kippers and home fries. I'd daresay Remus wouldn't leave him if he wasn't.
Remus blushed. You're right, Molly. He smiled at the expression of relief on Harry's face. Don't worry too much about Siri. He's pretty good at dealing with strange things.
Mrs. Weasley smiled as she sat down. Very true. Cheer up, Harry. Charlie's arriving today, I know we've all been excited to see him.
He says he can't wait to see us all, either, smiled Mr. Weasley.
Ginny bounced up and down in her seat. When's he getting here? she asked excitedly as Sirius wandered into the kitchen, yawning. Mrs. Weasley leapt to her feet but Sirius waved impatiently at her to sit down as he served himself.
Eleven o'clock, Mr. Weasley said, looking at his watch. Molly and I are going to leave for the station soon, to meet him.
The rest of you can stay here and help finish cleaning up the bedroom he'll be staying in, Mrs. Weasley said firmly. She gave an apologetic look to Sirius, who was yawning and stirring his coffee. I feel bad asking you this, but could you help them? I know you've told everyone to throw everything away, but...
Sirius waved a hand at her.
Looking a little taken aback at Sirius' immediate agreement, Mrs. Weasley stood and began collecting the dirty dishes. Mr. Weasley stood as well, stretched, and glanced at his watch.
Quarter of, Molly, we should go....

After the Weasleys had left and the dishes had been set to scrubbing themselves, Sirius, Remus, Harry, Hermione, and the five Weasley children trudged upstairs loaded with all sorts of cleaning and decontaminating paraphernalia.
This was my brother's room, Sirius grunted, pushing open the door to reveal a dim, dingy room decorated almost exactly like his own; instead of mahogany, the furniture was blondewood, and the stripes on the wallpaper were green and previously white instead of crimson and ivory.
Hermione made a face as she and Ginny lifted the mouldy old sheets off the bed. Not used in a long time, I see.
Sirius grunted and turned his attention to the wardrobe. Anything in there? he asked, rapping sharply on the door.
Nothing answered, so Sirius opened the door cautiously, his wand raised. There was nothing inside but a normal set of green robes, also mouldy.
It took nearly an hour to make Charlie's room presentable enough. It was still dark and dingy but at least clean; Harry and Bill had put clean sheets on the bed for a finishing touch. Then they all split up and went into the various bathrooms for a wash. They had all cleaned up and were starting lunch when the kitchen door opened and Charlie came in, followed by his mother and father.
Ginny squealed, dropping her handful of silverware on the table and launching herself at her older brother.
Hi, Ginn, Charlie said, catching his sister and hugging her. He grinned at his brothers from over her head. Hi, Ron, Fred, George, Bill.
Hi, Joe Bob, Billy Jean, Maw, Paw.. Sirius joked as he went to finish setting the table for Ginny.
Charlie sniggered and clapped a hand on Harry's shoulder. Hi, Harry. Everything going all right?
Harry grinned as Charlie hugged Hermione. How's Romania?
The rainy season has arrived, Charlie replied, now shaking Remus' hand. I got away just in time.
Is it really that bad? Bill asked.
You have no idea, Charlie said as Fleur kissed his cheek. Rains constantly from morning till night. All through the night, too.
Sirius finished setting the table and leaned over Ginny to shake Charlie's hand. 'Scuse the mess.
No problem, Charlie grinned. My flat in Romania is even worse. Which is sad, considering I haven't left it for ten years and had it overrun by disgusting things. Mum, I'm taking you back with me to set things straight.
They all laughed, and Remus began serving up the lunch with the help of Hermione and Tonks.

Fred said suddenly in the middle of the meal. What about Kreacher?
What about him? grumbled Harry.
Where is he? Fred asked Sirius.
Sirius' face darkened. Don't know, he grunted. Haven't seen him at all since I came back. Either he's hiding someplace or he's at Narcissa's. I don't really care.
Isn't it a little dangerous for him to be staying at the Malfoys? Bill asked, frowning.
Yeah, they'll know some foul way of worming all the secrets of the Order out of him, muttered Ron.
Sirius grunted. No doubt. But I'm pretty sure he's in the house. I can hear him sneaking around sometimes.
You'll have to find him soon, Harry warned him. Order him never to leave the house again, or something.
Order, shit, Sirius growled, earning himself a reproving glare from Mrs. Weasley. I'm going to grant his wish. His head's going up on the wall.
Naturally, Fred and George looked excited and interested at this, but Hermione was stunned.
Sirius - y-you can't! she protested.
Don't tell me what I can or can't do, Hermione. He's my house elf, after all. You know what he did - Harry could have died just because Kreacher kept me away from him!
But - he was only - following orders, Hermione said weakly.
I didn't tell him to do what he did, Sirius said curtly.
Come on, Hermione, Ron said in exasperation. Kreacher's a rat, and he's old anyway. Besides, he *wants* his head hung on the wall, so what's wrong with granting him his wish?
It's inhumane! Hermione argued. She looked rather severely at Sirius. Sirius, what are you going to do? Call him in here and chop his head off with a cleaver?
Ugh, bad mental image, George muttered, but Hermione ignored him.
And what would Dumbledore say? He's the one who told us all along to be nice to Kreacher!
I think he'll understand, grumbled Sirius.
Well, you can't do it yourself! Hermione raged.
I won't let him, Remus sighed, patting Hermione's shoulder. Siri, please be reasonable.
With a groan, Sirius raised his eyes to the ceiling and tilted his chair back on two legs. You're saying he shouldn't be punished.
No, I think Kreacher should get what he deserves - even if he's - ah - done away with, but I *don't* think you should do it yourself, and especially not until we discuss it with Dumbledore.

Sirius closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, wishing he had slept later. Okay, okay, okay. I get it, Remmie. And NO, Hermione.
You didn't even know what I was going to say, Hermione said, hurt.
Sorry. But it was about Kreacher, wasn't it?
Ye- nooooooo.....
Sirius snorted and took his plate to the sink. I'm going to take a walk.

No one protested, so he went upstairs and changed into a Muggle t-shirt and jeans before leaving the house. How handy these many-pocketed pants were. The pockets were so deep, they his hid his wand effectively.
He wandered out of the gloomy atmosphere of Grimmauld Place and into the busier, cleaner streets of London. He took deep breaths and smiled to himself; it felt so good to get out of the house and stretch his legs for once. He would have more opportunities, he knew - Dumbledore had already told Sirius he was to accompany Remus on his trip to France to do some things for the Order. Other than actually being able to get out and do something useful, Sirius was looking forward to going just so he could have an opportunity to be alone with Remus for a while.
After nearly fifteen years of imprisonment in Azkaban, his own house, and the caves around Hogsmeade, the cramped streets of London seemed wonderfully open. Sirius window-shopped for awhile, taking notice on how fashions had changed over the years (even he and James had been guilty of owning Muggle leisure suits), and, to his amusement, how he still got appreciative glances from women.

After about a half hour's walking, he turned down a path into a play park. He was passing a small grove of trees when a sweet voice cooed, Hello, Sirius....
He turned to see a woman leaning against a tree, watching him. She was dressed in a dark red, Muggle-style sundress and white tennis shoes. Her waist-length black hair and midnight-blue eyes, just like his own, left no doubt in his mind on who this woman was.

It was his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange.



To Be Continued.......



(A/N: Okay, time for a survey! I was d/ling MP3's yesterday and ran across a very favourite song of mine, Giving In by Adema. Listening to it I thought it painted a very good image of a Book 5, depressed, self-disgusted Sirius who feels as if he's useless and no one cares - So I just want to ask, who thinks the same thing? Read the lyrics and let me know!

I do not own the following lyrics, they are property of Adema and.... whoever else owns them.

Giving In by Adema

Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you

Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you

Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you

Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you

(Oh f**k)

I look forward, to dying tonight
Drinks still on myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving
Giving in now!

Take me under
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all that faith)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm crying tonight

I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you..........'