Everyone has their problems
Chapter three – Parting of the ways
Ever since they had arrived back Severus had been locked in his lab, which was situated in the dungeons, he had not said one word to Harry or the girls since their own return. It was half an hour before dinner, Draco and Eric had just arrived, Bonnie, Paige and Phoebe were talking to them while Harry went to fetch Severus.
He ventured down to the dungeons very little, it was his husband's private space and when he was down there it was a bad idea to disturb him. However Harry had had enough, he knocked three times before descending the steps and knocking again upon the workshop door. He received no answer so he entered.
"Severus, are you not going to come up to dinner?" He said to his partners back.
"I'm not hungry; you should know better than to come down here, you are exposing the baby to chemicals that could be fatal to the both of you."
"Well you left me with no choice; you have not come up all day, what is wrong with you?"
"I am just cautious to why Draco had chosen to return to the wizarding world now, just when his father's whereabouts and intentions also become known."
"Look whatever you have against Lucius Malfoy Draco is not his father, I trust him, he is here for dinner and I would like for you to join us, hungry or not."
"Harry I love you, but I will not associate with him and I advice that you watch him while he talks with our girls, I would not want anything to happen to them."
"You do not say that you love them, you show it very little of the time and you very rarely spend anytime with them without me present."
"I have work, the minister has offered me promotion, the pay is better and…"
"The hours longer, do you not want us to be a family, would you prefer if it was just the two of us?"
"I fear that whatever answer I give you will hold it against me, but yes the hours are longer, I will now be working six days a week instead of three."
"I have to get back to our guests, if you decide to join us then please feel free, we have to talk about this later." As Harry climbed the stairs he had to stifle a sob and wiped away the tears, he knew that Severus had not wanted a family, he had done all of this for him and now Harry was losing the man he loved.
When Harry got back to the sitting room they were all chatting happily, Harry tried to join in but Severus' words hung in his head refusing to leave. Just before dinner the girls went to bed having eaten earlier with the others. The house elves served dinner and Snape didn't show up. Draco seemed to notice that something was wrong and while Eric was in the bathroom, or was trying to find it in the expansive house, Draco asked him what had happened.
"It's nothing; he's just acting as if he doesn't care any more." Harry said a little depressed. "I don't understand him anymore. I mean I know he gave up everything for me but he's constantly at work."
"You must remember that he hated kids when he was teaching, he loves you Harry but I think that maybe he is still getting used to the idea of having a family, especially one this big. He has been fighting wars and battles his entire life; he never received love until you came along."
"What do you mean?"
"He was in love with your father James, my father told me, he was a few years ahead of Severus and James. Your father however used him, every time Lily wasn't watching they would sleep together, Severus once let it sleep how he felt and James ridiculed him in front of the whole school, but Sev wasn't the only one James was using, how do you think my father knows about all of this."
"How come I never knew this, he should have told me."
"Maybe he couldn't face his past, I mean, he couldn't have your father but now he has you, but maybe he feels that he got too much, you wanted a big family because you never had one of your own, he thrives on his own."
"I don't understand him anymore, it's like we've grown apart, he never talks to me any more, I know he's a lot older than me but I still love him, he's my husband, there is no magical divorce from that."
"There is something called a parting of the ways, it means you can separate for a little while just to give you some space, you might want to think it over."
"Where would I go, especially with five children, almost six?"
"My grandfather gave me a house, it's a five bedroom, in a muggle village, Eric and I are staying in a flat on the other side of the town, your very welcome to stay there for a while."
"I'll have a word with Sev, because I think that may be an option I have to consider."
It wasn't long before Eric returned and he and Draco left to go home with Harry dwelling on what he said. He was sitting on the sofa in his pyjamas and dressing gown in their bedroom reading, waiting for Severus to come up to bed. It wasn't until two hours later that he did.
"Severus, we need to talk." Harry said as he placed the book down and stood up to face him. "It's important." He added, Severus began to prepare for bed but as he did so he listened to Harry. "I feel as if you don't care for our family any more, am I right?"
"I care for you and I care for our daughters but this is not what I wanted my life to be." He paused and stopped getting ready for bed; he stood only in his boxers as he crossed the room towards his partner. "I never saw myself with another to love."
"Because of what my father did." Snape looked startled by this. "Draco told me, his father told him, it was a while ago so don't go accusing him of anything."
"What are you suggesting Harry, are you unsure whether or not I still love you?"
"No, I have never before questioned that and I never will but no relationship is perfect, as much as I want ours to be it isn't, what I am suggesting is a parting of the ways, it is only temporary but I think we just need some time apart to sort through our issues."
"You mean you want to give me sometime to sort through my issues."
"Severus, over the thirteen years in which we have had children you have spent very little time with them on your own, you work so much that I hardly ever see you any more, I ma thirty three and my sixth child will be here in a few short months."
"Are you turning this into an age thing, I realise that I am old enough to be your father but you never had a problem with that before, you could have easily gone off with Draco before we bonded, he would happily have taken you."
"You know when you returned home drunk early one morning after pushing me into a cupboard, you said that you didn't deserve me but I believed that you did, I loved you and I took you back, we had three girls back then. You have never hurt me since, but you know what, I always thought that I never deserved you, that I only had all of this because I was stupid enough to get pregnant and you were the kind of person who felt obliged to stand beside me and support me. I have loved you for fifteen years, we have been seeing each other for fourteen, I admired you from my very first year at Hogwarts, and I never once thought that we'd end up together."
For lack of anything else to say Severus said: "What do you want?"
"I want to know if you want us to go away for a while."
"No, but then I could never dictate your actions before why start now, I know I have never been open about my past, you know so very little about mine when yours in common knowledge to every witch and wizard alive, but I have my reasons, I have always been a very private man, this household is so full of life that it hurts, my heart has never felt so much love as I have now and it hurts, I don't ever want to lose you Harry."
Harry was crying now, tears worked their way down his cheeks and Severus felt a pang of guilt knowing that he had caused them. He brought Harry into a tight hug before they kissed, it was desperate and full of longing but it meant so much to both.
"It is for the best Severus, but I will come back before the baby is born, I promise you that much, the house elves will take care of the animals the children will come with me so you can have some peace."
"Where will you go?"
"Draco offered us his grandfather's house, it's a five bedroom but we'll manage; besides four of the girls are off to Hogwarts next weekend. We'll leave in the morning."
"Harry please don't go." It was so uncharacteristic of Severus to beg, especially in such a pleading way and Harry knew it, he just cried harder, this one possibly one of the hardest things he had ever had to do before, battles with Voldermort included.
Neither slept well that night, they just clung to one another trying to understand why this had to be done, however it couldn't just continue as it had been, not any more, their children needed both fathers stable and there for them. This was what they needed!
Wow, another chapter, tell me if you like this story or not, if you don't then I will scrap it and start another one. Please review xxx.
