Disclaimer: I don't own Wedge Antilles, Wes Janson, Hobbie Klivian, or Tycho Celchu. They're all property of LucasArts. So, no sueing. Oh, and I don't own Star Trek or anything related. I do own this plot, and that's something none of you will ever own unless you offer to give me money for it. So nyah!
Okay, so I had this crazy idea a little bit ago. It's kinda simple, but I think it has potential.
--
Title: And now for something completely different.
Description: Wedge Antilles, Wes Janson, Hobbie Klivian, and Tycho Celchu are somehow mystically transported between time and space to land on the Enterprise.
Chapter One
Wedge sat in his office, feet up on his desk. He had a datapad in his lap, but his head was nodding off into his chest. He was obviously asleep, a fact reinforced by the drool slowly dribbling from his mouth. If Wes had seen him there like that he would have... Well, let's just suffice to say that he would have done something the Wedge wouldn't of liked, but everyone else would have loved.
The datapad gave a little urgent beep as some preset alarm went off. Wether the timing on this was planned or coincidental, it started chiming just as Wedge stirred himself from his sleep. He looked at the pad and checked the messege. At the mere subject, he somehow slouched further into the seat with a groan.
"Ugh... I do not feel like dealing with whatever Fey'lya's got to say. There's a lot of traffic out there. It must've gotten lost." With that, Wedge hit the 'delete' key, sending Fey'lya's messege to hell.
At some strange coincidence, that button also triggered a bright flash. Wedge has never been certain where it came from, but it was almost definatly triggered by the pressing of the delete button. When the light dimmed down, a few papers flitted around, but that was it. Wedge and his datapad were not there, and did not seem to of ever been there.
--
Wes was currently in the quarters he shared with Hobbie messing around with little Ewok figurines and Wedge Antilles figurines. He made his own little sound effects as the Ewok soldiers cornered a group of Wedge's, with a lone Hobbie figure in the midst of them.
"You promised me we wouldn't where womans clothing." Wes said in an awful imitation of Hobbie's voice. "Yes, I did, and I lied because I'm a mean evil person who doesn't let Wes get any sleep except during mission briefings, so he's too tired to know what's going on and will never be able to compare to my flight record though I know that if he knew what was happening and didn't sleep during the briefings he'd be such a better pilot then me." Wes continued, in an even worse imitation of Wedge's voice. "Yub yub, yub yub! SPLORGE! Augh! Stop it please! That's really painfull!" Wes continued, mimicking the Ewoks, and stabbing a Wedge figure with one of the spears. He continued on with these cries of pain in the same awful Wedge impersonation as before.
"Wes, shut up!" Hobbie commanded from the other side of the quarters.
"Why should I?"
"Because it could be considered insubordination to play around with your commanding officers figurines and stab them with plastic spears." Hobbie reasoned.
Wes considered this. "Could it really?"
Hobbie nodded gravely.
For a moment it looked like Wes would stop. It really did. But he didn't. "Oh well, I don't care." With that, he returned to the fake battle, complete with sound effects. Hobbie rolled his eyes skyward, and pulled out a sound sponge, he threw it on the ground and pressed the remote to turn it on. As he pressed the button and sent the signal, another white flash burned through the apartment. When it left, everything was as it was, except that Wes, Hobbie, and the objects they were holding had disappeared.
--
Tycho was outside, enjoying the fresh air and going for a stroll on the planet that the Rogues were currently stationed on. It was a rare moment when they could enjoy such peace and quiet, and Tycho was definately going to enjoy it.
This planet was particularly nice. A nice, peaceful, small-time world with lush vegetation and a beautiful sunset. He knew that he was the only one likely to enjoy this sort of thing among the Rogues, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Of course, Donos would always be coming out and taking a walk, but he would do that to stay in shape and stay disciplined. No, Tycho was the only one who would come out to enjoy the wildlife, enjoy what hadn't been changed by industrialization yet.
As he walked, he watched for local wildlife. He couldn't see anything yet, and soon, storm clouds came out and covered the area. Tycho sighed, and turned to head back to the base. Then he saw a little squirrel-like creature. He smiled at it and slowly approached. It stood up on its hind legs, chattered at him, and then turned off and bounded down the path. Tycho kept smiling and gave pursuit.
How long he chased it, he doesn't remember. Eventually he caught it, however, and picked it up. It chattered and gave some resistance, but stopped as Tycho began to stroke it, murmuring soothingly. It was then that he became away of how dark it was, and looked at his chrono to try and check the time. He couldn't see it well, so he reached a hand to it and hit the 'glow' button. As soon as he touched it, a bright flash tore through the small canyon he was in, lighting it as if it were day for a moment. When the light dimmed, Tycho and the squirrel were gone.
--
On a Starship, millions of lightyears away, a bright flash tore through its rec room. Then four human's appeared there. One was holding a squirrel, another some action figures, the third a remote, and the fourth was holding a PADD of some sort. All looked extremely surprised.
Kirk looked at them, equally surprised himself. He turned to look at Spock, who actually had a small hint of surprise on his face, visible only to those who knew him well, as Kirk did. McCoy, standing behind them and watching their HoloChess game, was currently trying to return his jaw to a more natural position - such as closed and not resting on the floor.
A silence started, with the Starfleet crew looking at the intruders and the intruders looking at them. Finally, the one holding the action figures became aware of himself, holding figures that apparently had a resemblance to the one with the PADD. He stuffed the figures in his pockets and looked at the Starfleet crew. "You guys didn't see any of that, right?"
The one holding the datapad's eyes narrowed.
Kirk frowned.
McCoy, about to return his jaw to its natural closed position, failed as he said that, and the jaw fell again.
Spock, of course, answered him.
"We did see that. You watched us as we saw it. Therefore, that is an illogical question to ask."
The intruder who spoke looked at McCoy, then at Kirk, most likely expecting a more intelligent response from Kirk then from McCoy. "He's a real stiffler, ain't he?"
Before Kirk could reply, Spock spoke again. "'Ain't' is not a word."
"Nevermind. Oh, and hi." He thrust out his hand to Kirk. "I'm Wes Janson. And who are you?"
McCoy was about willing to abandon all efforts at a natural jaw position. Kirk was having trouble keeping his own jaw natural. "Uh, hi..." He said as he tentatively took the proferred hand. "I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enter-"
Janson interrupted. "Sheesh, I asked for your name, not your life story. So, uh, who're these others?"
Kirk scowled. "I should be asking you that. You are on my ship."
"No I'm not. I'm in my quarters..." He looked around. "Uh, I concede the point. So, this guy here who looks kinda dour and, well, depressing, is Hobbie Klivian. Your little pointy-eared friend here would probably get along with him. Over here wearing black and holding a squirrel - wait, what?" Janson did a double-take at the squirrel-holder. "Hm. It is a squirrel. Funny old universe. Oh, and he's Tycho Celchu. And this mean-looking shorty over here holding a datapad - "
"I'm Wedge Antilles." The one Janson was pointing at said. "And pay no attention to Janson. He has the mind of a 12-year-old, a maturity level to match, but is probably one of the deadliest people you'll ever see in a snubfighter or using a blaster."
Janson looked hurt. "You consider me to have the mind of a 12-year-old? You know that it's nine!"
Antilles shook his head. "You see the point."
"Indeed I do. Now, since you introduced yourselves, I'll introduce my friends. This is Doctor McCoy, our chief medical officer, and this is First Officer Spock. He's a Vulcan." Kirk said, as if that explained everything.
Janson spoke up again. "Ah, I see... And what exactly is a Vulcan?"
McCoy caught his jaw this time and kept it up enough to speak. "You don't know what a Vulcan is? Where have you been the past few centuries?"
Wedge answered. "Oh, if I had to guess, a galaxy or so over."
Spock's eyebrow rose.
Klivian chose this moment to speak up. "I'd say an alternate dimension."
Spock's eyebrow continued its upward climb.
Janson shook his head. "You're both off. We're all in the demented dream-world of an Ewok-"
One eyebrow disappeared and the other began its own climb.
"Wes, shut up." Antilles ordered.
"Why?"
"Because I said so!"
"That's not a good enough reason."
"It should be. I am your superior."
"Yeah, but we aren't in our home, where ever we are. You can't put me up for insubordination." Wes looked triumphant.
"I can when we get back."
"If we get back." Celchu cut in quietly.
That sobered them all.
Wes snapped out of it first. "Well, let's not worry about that now. We've got a whole new galaxy to ruin - and by ruin I mean explore, of course. If only Kell and Face were here, they'd have a field day. Corran might have fun, but he's too much of a Jedi now. Hobbie'd like it - oh, yeah, he's here. Donos might actually let go some more here, since - " Wes's rambling was cut off.
"If I may so inquire, how did you get here?" Spock asked.
"No idea. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Donos."
Wedge looked at Tycho, nodded, and Tycho whispered something to Wes, who immediatly shut up.
"I'm honestly not sure how I got here. Possibly some sort of freak electrical accident." Wedge said. "The only evidence I have is that there was a flash of light as I hit a button on my datapad here, and then I was here."
"I hit a button on my remote, there was a flash of light, and then Wes and I appeared here." Hobbie said.
"I was looking at my chrono, and hit a button to give me some more light so I could see. That caused a flash of light which delivered me here." Tycho said.
Spock frowned as much as he ever does. "While these three incidents are related - there was a mechanical device activated, a burst of light which delivered you here - it is illogical to think that a mere electrical disturbance would transport three individuals here, as your descriptions of your incidents do not in any way have anything to do with material transporters - "
"Wait, what?" Wedge asked. "What are 'material transporters'?"
Kirk smiled slightly. "It's the official name for the transporter."
"Ah. And that is...?"
McCoy frowned. "You guys really DO come from another galaxy."
Kirk shook his hide slightly. "Indeed they do. Mr. Spock, if you would be so kind, I'd like you to try and discover how these men were delivered here. Doctor, you and I will be finding some rooms for them."
McCoy nodded, and sat down at a computer terminal. In five minutes, he looked up. "We have two rooms that are big enough for two people to share." He announced.
Hobbie looked up. "I refuse to share a room with Wes."
"Sorry, Tycho." Wedge said.
"What?"
"You think that I'M going to sleep in the same room as him?"
"Well, no, but..."
"And Hobbie always sleeps in the same room as him."
"Well, yeah, but..."
"So he deserves a break. Now, what are you trying to say?" Wedge asked.
"My squirrel ran off."
"Your what?"
"My squirrel."
Kirk smiled. "I'll set some of my men on it. Bones and I will take you to your rooms." He then walked to the wall communicator and started talking to it. "Uhura, set two ensigns to start searching for a small brown squirrel on deck 12."
"A squirrel, sir?"
"Long story."
"Yes, sir."
Kirk smiled again, and then waved for them to follow him. "If you'd be so kind, gentlemen." With that, he walked out of the rec room, followed by McCoy, Wedge, Wes, Hobbie, and a sulking Tycho.
--
A/N: Okay, not bad for the first chapter, right? Do any of you even think this is a good idea?
Okay, so I had this crazy idea a little bit ago. It's kinda simple, but I think it has potential.
--
Title: And now for something completely different.
Description: Wedge Antilles, Wes Janson, Hobbie Klivian, and Tycho Celchu are somehow mystically transported between time and space to land on the Enterprise.
Chapter One
Wedge sat in his office, feet up on his desk. He had a datapad in his lap, but his head was nodding off into his chest. He was obviously asleep, a fact reinforced by the drool slowly dribbling from his mouth. If Wes had seen him there like that he would have... Well, let's just suffice to say that he would have done something the Wedge wouldn't of liked, but everyone else would have loved.
The datapad gave a little urgent beep as some preset alarm went off. Wether the timing on this was planned or coincidental, it started chiming just as Wedge stirred himself from his sleep. He looked at the pad and checked the messege. At the mere subject, he somehow slouched further into the seat with a groan.
"Ugh... I do not feel like dealing with whatever Fey'lya's got to say. There's a lot of traffic out there. It must've gotten lost." With that, Wedge hit the 'delete' key, sending Fey'lya's messege to hell.
At some strange coincidence, that button also triggered a bright flash. Wedge has never been certain where it came from, but it was almost definatly triggered by the pressing of the delete button. When the light dimmed down, a few papers flitted around, but that was it. Wedge and his datapad were not there, and did not seem to of ever been there.
--
Wes was currently in the quarters he shared with Hobbie messing around with little Ewok figurines and Wedge Antilles figurines. He made his own little sound effects as the Ewok soldiers cornered a group of Wedge's, with a lone Hobbie figure in the midst of them.
"You promised me we wouldn't where womans clothing." Wes said in an awful imitation of Hobbie's voice. "Yes, I did, and I lied because I'm a mean evil person who doesn't let Wes get any sleep except during mission briefings, so he's too tired to know what's going on and will never be able to compare to my flight record though I know that if he knew what was happening and didn't sleep during the briefings he'd be such a better pilot then me." Wes continued, in an even worse imitation of Wedge's voice. "Yub yub, yub yub! SPLORGE! Augh! Stop it please! That's really painfull!" Wes continued, mimicking the Ewoks, and stabbing a Wedge figure with one of the spears. He continued on with these cries of pain in the same awful Wedge impersonation as before.
"Wes, shut up!" Hobbie commanded from the other side of the quarters.
"Why should I?"
"Because it could be considered insubordination to play around with your commanding officers figurines and stab them with plastic spears." Hobbie reasoned.
Wes considered this. "Could it really?"
Hobbie nodded gravely.
For a moment it looked like Wes would stop. It really did. But he didn't. "Oh well, I don't care." With that, he returned to the fake battle, complete with sound effects. Hobbie rolled his eyes skyward, and pulled out a sound sponge, he threw it on the ground and pressed the remote to turn it on. As he pressed the button and sent the signal, another white flash burned through the apartment. When it left, everything was as it was, except that Wes, Hobbie, and the objects they were holding had disappeared.
--
Tycho was outside, enjoying the fresh air and going for a stroll on the planet that the Rogues were currently stationed on. It was a rare moment when they could enjoy such peace and quiet, and Tycho was definately going to enjoy it.
This planet was particularly nice. A nice, peaceful, small-time world with lush vegetation and a beautiful sunset. He knew that he was the only one likely to enjoy this sort of thing among the Rogues, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Of course, Donos would always be coming out and taking a walk, but he would do that to stay in shape and stay disciplined. No, Tycho was the only one who would come out to enjoy the wildlife, enjoy what hadn't been changed by industrialization yet.
As he walked, he watched for local wildlife. He couldn't see anything yet, and soon, storm clouds came out and covered the area. Tycho sighed, and turned to head back to the base. Then he saw a little squirrel-like creature. He smiled at it and slowly approached. It stood up on its hind legs, chattered at him, and then turned off and bounded down the path. Tycho kept smiling and gave pursuit.
How long he chased it, he doesn't remember. Eventually he caught it, however, and picked it up. It chattered and gave some resistance, but stopped as Tycho began to stroke it, murmuring soothingly. It was then that he became away of how dark it was, and looked at his chrono to try and check the time. He couldn't see it well, so he reached a hand to it and hit the 'glow' button. As soon as he touched it, a bright flash tore through the small canyon he was in, lighting it as if it were day for a moment. When the light dimmed, Tycho and the squirrel were gone.
--
On a Starship, millions of lightyears away, a bright flash tore through its rec room. Then four human's appeared there. One was holding a squirrel, another some action figures, the third a remote, and the fourth was holding a PADD of some sort. All looked extremely surprised.
Kirk looked at them, equally surprised himself. He turned to look at Spock, who actually had a small hint of surprise on his face, visible only to those who knew him well, as Kirk did. McCoy, standing behind them and watching their HoloChess game, was currently trying to return his jaw to a more natural position - such as closed and not resting on the floor.
A silence started, with the Starfleet crew looking at the intruders and the intruders looking at them. Finally, the one holding the action figures became aware of himself, holding figures that apparently had a resemblance to the one with the PADD. He stuffed the figures in his pockets and looked at the Starfleet crew. "You guys didn't see any of that, right?"
The one holding the datapad's eyes narrowed.
Kirk frowned.
McCoy, about to return his jaw to its natural closed position, failed as he said that, and the jaw fell again.
Spock, of course, answered him.
"We did see that. You watched us as we saw it. Therefore, that is an illogical question to ask."
The intruder who spoke looked at McCoy, then at Kirk, most likely expecting a more intelligent response from Kirk then from McCoy. "He's a real stiffler, ain't he?"
Before Kirk could reply, Spock spoke again. "'Ain't' is not a word."
"Nevermind. Oh, and hi." He thrust out his hand to Kirk. "I'm Wes Janson. And who are you?"
McCoy was about willing to abandon all efforts at a natural jaw position. Kirk was having trouble keeping his own jaw natural. "Uh, hi..." He said as he tentatively took the proferred hand. "I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enter-"
Janson interrupted. "Sheesh, I asked for your name, not your life story. So, uh, who're these others?"
Kirk scowled. "I should be asking you that. You are on my ship."
"No I'm not. I'm in my quarters..." He looked around. "Uh, I concede the point. So, this guy here who looks kinda dour and, well, depressing, is Hobbie Klivian. Your little pointy-eared friend here would probably get along with him. Over here wearing black and holding a squirrel - wait, what?" Janson did a double-take at the squirrel-holder. "Hm. It is a squirrel. Funny old universe. Oh, and he's Tycho Celchu. And this mean-looking shorty over here holding a datapad - "
"I'm Wedge Antilles." The one Janson was pointing at said. "And pay no attention to Janson. He has the mind of a 12-year-old, a maturity level to match, but is probably one of the deadliest people you'll ever see in a snubfighter or using a blaster."
Janson looked hurt. "You consider me to have the mind of a 12-year-old? You know that it's nine!"
Antilles shook his head. "You see the point."
"Indeed I do. Now, since you introduced yourselves, I'll introduce my friends. This is Doctor McCoy, our chief medical officer, and this is First Officer Spock. He's a Vulcan." Kirk said, as if that explained everything.
Janson spoke up again. "Ah, I see... And what exactly is a Vulcan?"
McCoy caught his jaw this time and kept it up enough to speak. "You don't know what a Vulcan is? Where have you been the past few centuries?"
Wedge answered. "Oh, if I had to guess, a galaxy or so over."
Spock's eyebrow rose.
Klivian chose this moment to speak up. "I'd say an alternate dimension."
Spock's eyebrow continued its upward climb.
Janson shook his head. "You're both off. We're all in the demented dream-world of an Ewok-"
One eyebrow disappeared and the other began its own climb.
"Wes, shut up." Antilles ordered.
"Why?"
"Because I said so!"
"That's not a good enough reason."
"It should be. I am your superior."
"Yeah, but we aren't in our home, where ever we are. You can't put me up for insubordination." Wes looked triumphant.
"I can when we get back."
"If we get back." Celchu cut in quietly.
That sobered them all.
Wes snapped out of it first. "Well, let's not worry about that now. We've got a whole new galaxy to ruin - and by ruin I mean explore, of course. If only Kell and Face were here, they'd have a field day. Corran might have fun, but he's too much of a Jedi now. Hobbie'd like it - oh, yeah, he's here. Donos might actually let go some more here, since - " Wes's rambling was cut off.
"If I may so inquire, how did you get here?" Spock asked.
"No idea. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Donos."
Wedge looked at Tycho, nodded, and Tycho whispered something to Wes, who immediatly shut up.
"I'm honestly not sure how I got here. Possibly some sort of freak electrical accident." Wedge said. "The only evidence I have is that there was a flash of light as I hit a button on my datapad here, and then I was here."
"I hit a button on my remote, there was a flash of light, and then Wes and I appeared here." Hobbie said.
"I was looking at my chrono, and hit a button to give me some more light so I could see. That caused a flash of light which delivered me here." Tycho said.
Spock frowned as much as he ever does. "While these three incidents are related - there was a mechanical device activated, a burst of light which delivered you here - it is illogical to think that a mere electrical disturbance would transport three individuals here, as your descriptions of your incidents do not in any way have anything to do with material transporters - "
"Wait, what?" Wedge asked. "What are 'material transporters'?"
Kirk smiled slightly. "It's the official name for the transporter."
"Ah. And that is...?"
McCoy frowned. "You guys really DO come from another galaxy."
Kirk shook his hide slightly. "Indeed they do. Mr. Spock, if you would be so kind, I'd like you to try and discover how these men were delivered here. Doctor, you and I will be finding some rooms for them."
McCoy nodded, and sat down at a computer terminal. In five minutes, he looked up. "We have two rooms that are big enough for two people to share." He announced.
Hobbie looked up. "I refuse to share a room with Wes."
"Sorry, Tycho." Wedge said.
"What?"
"You think that I'M going to sleep in the same room as him?"
"Well, no, but..."
"And Hobbie always sleeps in the same room as him."
"Well, yeah, but..."
"So he deserves a break. Now, what are you trying to say?" Wedge asked.
"My squirrel ran off."
"Your what?"
"My squirrel."
Kirk smiled. "I'll set some of my men on it. Bones and I will take you to your rooms." He then walked to the wall communicator and started talking to it. "Uhura, set two ensigns to start searching for a small brown squirrel on deck 12."
"A squirrel, sir?"
"Long story."
"Yes, sir."
Kirk smiled again, and then waved for them to follow him. "If you'd be so kind, gentlemen." With that, he walked out of the rec room, followed by McCoy, Wedge, Wes, Hobbie, and a sulking Tycho.
--
A/N: Okay, not bad for the first chapter, right? Do any of you even think this is a good idea?
