Wanting what you can't have.
PG I guess.
Disclaimer- not mine, but if I was mine, Boone would not be lying 6 feet underground, he and Shannon would me together and Sayid would have died long ago.
"Shannon!" Jack's voice called out from somewhere behind me. And then it came again, this time from Sayid. I ignored it and kept up my pace.
I kept running until I came to the caves, I slowed down, careful not to trip over a root. My vision was a little blurred from the tears that had fallen, and the gentle rain falling all around me.
I sighed. I'd spent twenty minutes running to the damn cave, and now I was unable to go in. I lingered at the entrance too long, but when my name was called once again I swallowed my fear and forced my legs to do the walking.
He lay there, blood and cuts lining his face. His eyes closed, peacefully; the most peaceful I'd seen him since he had arrived in Australia to pay Brian off.
Slowly I knelt beside him and stroked his matted brown hair back and looked down at all the injuries he'd come to accumulate.
Where had all of these come from? I'm sure Jack had explained it to me, but I was in shock. I didn't hear a word until they began calling my name after I'd bolted.
Not sure if I really wanted to see it, but knew I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't, I lifted the sheet up and saw all the chest wounds.
They were worse than I thought they'd be. I could barely see his tanned skin, from all those days hunting with Locke. It was all blood. I couldn't stand to look anymore so I turned away and blinked back the tears.
By now I could sense Jack and Sayid were standing behind me, not sure on what they should do. Should they leave me to my own grieving or try to pry me away from Boone.
But this wasn't Boone. It was an impostor in his body. I slowly stroked his cheek, crying more for myself that for him.
I never really believed in God, or went to church, not since my mom died at least. But at this moment I prayed for Boone to come back to me.
I was incomplete without him. I needed his bitchy remarks towards me. I needed his nicknames he gave me, even if they were to discriminate me. I craved the attention he paid to me. But most of all I missed how he fit with me.
All my life I'd known he was in love with me, and that he would do anything for me, and I spent most of the time denying my feelings towards him, but now once it was too late, I needed to tell him just how much I needed him. Just how much I loved….
Loved him.
I slowly leaned down and leaned into his chest. Something shifted and my head sunk deeper into him. Tears flowed off my cheeks and onto his blood covered chest.
"Why did you leave me?" I whimpered. I felt Sayid's hand come to rest on my shoulder, but I quickly shrugged it away.
"Don't touch me." I cried, clutching Boone's limp hand. Even in death he was warm. Even in death he was keeping me warm.
"Shannon, we need to burry the body." Jack said from somewhere off in the distance. I'd created a box around me blocking out everything else.
"Shannon, please, let me take the body." I hated how he referred to it as 'the body.' Didn't he realize he had a name? His name was Boone Carlisle. He was my dad's second wife's son. I never really considered him a brother, it was too weird, and after Sydney, it was even harder to think of him in that perverted, creepy way.
But eventually I had to let go and Jack carried the limp body that had once inhabited someone so full of life, yet now was empty inside. Broken inside.
"I love you Boone, don't ever forget that." I whispered as his body disappeared.
I sat back down wishing that I could have kissed him one last time. Sayid came and put his arm around me, but I shrugged it off. I didn't want him.
Because I always wanted what I couldn't have.
Please R&R
