Joy and Sorrow

Eight months later, and he had nothing.

I've failed you, Mr. Feeny, Shawn thought as the bright colors of the garden slowly faded into the monotonous tone of the hospital room.

He ran his gaze over the entire room, and he shivered. He hated hospitals. They only reminded him of pain and death.

"Stacey, you're not trying hard enough," the doctor said patiently. "Now on my count..."

Shawn threw his head up to the ceiling.

"1...2...3..."

"I'm sorry, Dad," he whispered.

"4...5...6..."

A gust of wind blew through the trees outside. No need for that, son. And love you.

"7...8...9..."

"I love you, Dad," Shawn replied.

The unmistakable cry of a baby echoed through the room. Shawn looked down to see his son in Stacey's arms.

"Our son," Stacey said, her face glistening with sweat.

Shawn pulled back the blanket and looked deep into the eyes of his child's face. "Hey," he said, feeling an unexplainable emotion of both joy and sorrow.

"Doctors say he's perfectly healthy as far as they can tell," Stacey continued.

A nurse bent over and picked up the baby. "We need to clean him up, get his weight, do some tests."

Shawn watched as they moved him into another room.

"Shawn, we need to talk now."

He turned around. "Oh, yeah. Of course."

Stacey pressed a button on the side of the bed. "That's better," she said. "They practically had me flat on my back."

"Stacey, what do you think we should do?" Shawn asked impatiently.

"I've already thought this over, and I think that you should stay where you are."

"What? I mean, are you sure?" Shawn's heart lighted.

"Yeah," Stacey replied slowly. "Out of the two of us, you're the one who's decided to get their life together. Shawn, you have a good education, an apartment, friends, and a girlfriend. That's more than I can say for myself."

"But..." Shawn began to protest again.

"I couldn't take that away from you. And besides, it would be wrong to make you stay with me if you don't love me. It wouldn't be very good for our son. One day I'll find someone who really cares for me. But I know who you truly care about. And it isn't me."

"Thank you, Stacey. You deserve to be so happy," he said, getting up and kissing her on the cheek.

As Shawn made his way through the glass door, he realized how deeply meant what he had just said to her.