Title: Ready or Not
Chapter Completed: July 16, 2004
Barbara knew someone was following her. She even knew who, but at that moment the destination was more important. There was still a slight chance that she could get there in time and put an end to this ordeal. And there was also the chance that she was already too late.
Speeding across the city she worried if she should have taken the time to dawn the cape and cowl. It was a double edged sword; risk being unmasked to the Joker or risk not making it there in time to catch them. But every aspect of her life was like that; making unfathomable decisions that could change everything, better or worse. She just had to hope, that this time, she had made the right choice, and everything would work out. A faith that she never really believed in.
The city and scenery flew by her and her motorcycle in a blur – pushing the speed limit and the capabilities of her cycle she still knew it would be a close call. And it nagged at her. It gave light to her doubts and fears. And still he followed her, the dull roar of his matching cycle echoing in her head, reminding her. Did he really think she was incapable of doing this – after she said she could? Where was his faith? Did he really only see her as some girl, some helpless girl? That's all she could feel. The wind hit her exposed skin of her cheeks, but it felt like distrust. HE had sent him to watch her, make sure she didn't screw up, protect the little female. HE could lie to her face, tell it she was a part of the team, but never trust her. And when HE needed her, for the few things she was seen as capable of, she had better go running and disappear just as fast. Go to her master and be cast off.
The more she thought, the deeper Sara's words rooted themselves into her head. And the deeper they went, the angrier she grew. She gunned the engine harder, forcing the machine on. The rumble did nothing to take Sara's true words from her memory.
Barbara never saw the dark haired woman as Star, and hopefully never would, for the memories and images she had of her were of Sara – the confused and broken, yet wise and sure woman of the rooftop.
"Don't worry," she spoke in a soothing voice, slowly creeping closer, "I won't tell them your secrets, any of those secrets." She was only inches away, her eyes sympathetic and hand gently caressing what was exposed of the other woman's face. Sara's eyes borrowed into Barbara. The two of them shared something, something few others could understand.
Her face was only inches away from hers, her hand gently stroking the exposed and chills skin of the superhero's cheek, "No, I won't tell them your secrets, our secrets."
Her breath caught in her chest as Barbara fought for a clearing thought to enter her head, something to push away the haze. This whole situation was too emotionally intense, she was loosing her grip as Batgirl and falling into the insecure and unsure life of Barbara Gordon.
"Please…" was the only word that squeezed itself out of her throat, she wasn't even sure what the plea or request was addressing. It was an attempt at gripping on to something.
But the ghost of a smile that graced Sara's mouth suggested that she knew what Barbara didn't about herself. The mystery girl brought her face in closer, her hot breath spilling across the Superhero's, "I understand you."
As the words captured Barbara's mind, lips captured her mouth. Soft, but forceful enough to leave no question of intent. Neither did the hand creeping around her neck, pulling the two mouths closer together. Their lips remained press together in the soft and timid tasting without one invading the other. The only bodily contact they shared was from through the swelling lips and single hand on the back on Barbara's neck.
Even with the testing nature of the kiss, when Sara pulled back Barbara was breathless. The kiss wasn't passionate, it was emotional – nothing that the night-time crime-fighter had ever experienced. It shook, surprised and thrilled her, as well as placed a reawakened question in the back of her mind.
Sara on the other hand seemed contented by this. The panicked rage that had filled her eyes, and twisted her face had felted away. She was calmed and almost reserved.
"You can take me away now," the girl offered her wrists like a convicted up to the shell-shocked Barbara.
Batgirl gave her head a quick shake to clear the memory from her head, but her lips burned as if the haunting moment had just happened. Maybe they were right, maybe she was too close to this one to think clearly for the fait of Gotham.
With the dark cloud of doubt cast over her, she pulled her cycle into the gravel parking lot of the motel, surveying the flat piece of property. There was no sign that Sara or the Joker were there, or had ever been. The placed looked normal and undisturbed. She had failed to get there on time.
Unwilling to concede defeat, she climbed off the bike to give the place a once over, ignoring the sound of Robin's cycle pulling up behind her. She was running on determination, pure and simple.
Quickly she made her way around the building's structure in search of the most secluded, and therefore logical, room for the pair to have occupied. A hopeful feeling rose in the young superhero; she just knew that this was the room they had shared. But upon opening the unlocked door to cabin twelve all that was left of the pervious occupants was a rumbled bed and a discarded robe.
"Damn it," she shrieked, kicking at the door with all her strength and frustration.
"Whoa, what the door ever do to you?" Robin's voice entered the room, he had finally caught up to her.
Turning sharply she sneered, "Don't you even start!"
To say that he was surprised by his partner's outburst was an understatement, but when he opened his mouth to speak again she continued.
"Where do you get off following me around?" her eyes were blaring with many things: doubts, fears and anger. "No, let me guess, HE told you to?"
Neither one of them needed to clarify who HE was. Batman was the proverbial he where they were concerned.
But again when he opened his mouth to speak she jumped in, "Don't bother to deny it. I know he doesn't think I can do this, never thought I could."
"Babs that's not why," he quickly spoke up before she had a chance to silence him, "He, we just thought you needed a little help. We were worried."
Batgirl laughed dryly, feeling nothing like her custom, "You both don't think I can do this." It wasn't a question, and wasn't delivered as an accusation, more like a simple fact. She continued her rant, "You think I'm just some stupid girl that you can use and lie to and toss aside. That's all you keep doing. That's all HE does, and all you're doing, you help him do it."
"Babs," he cautiously stepped closer to her, "that's not –"
"Stay away from me!" she jumped back, she was unsure of all that was flowing through her, but didn't need anything else clouding her. So many things were twirling in her head: Sara's words, her doubts, and the need to put this case behind her.
Robin was far more confused, his eyes turned hurt by her rejection. And worried by the turmoil in the female superhero's eyes. "Please…tell me what's really going on here," he was careful to be soft and gentle with his voice, again trying to get closer to her.
She took some time, silently shaking her head with her eyes tightly closed before chancing the look at him, "You couldn't understand. Few can understand…" She let her reply hang between them, but her mind had turned over to another thought. There was only one other person she could think of who would understand what both Sara and herself…
As Robin tried, again, to connect with the lost member of their trio when the motel's owner appeared at the room.
"Can I help you all?" his face was anything but friendly when he would the two costumed people standing in one of his rooms.
Even by dismissing the innkeeper, when Robin turned back the struggling Barbara/Batgirl had disappeared. Leaving the confused superhero with questions of his own.
