Disclaimer: I'm sure I've already mentioned this. If not, I am now. I don't own Star Wars or Star Trek. I own Ensign Flounderberry and the squirrel. Probably some other stuff. Oh, and the stuff with the sword curtain is Empress Leia's. If you wanna know what it's from, go check out Trading Quarters.

bookwormqueen - Hold yer horses, I'm getting there. But, in all honestly, don't expect regular updates from me. I mean, I love this story, and I think it's one of my better masterpieces, but I'm bad at updating. 'Specially since I have a bunch of big projects in the works, projects that may or may not be related to eachother.

Annnnd.... chapter three!

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About an hour and a half later, Tycho started to make his way back to his quarters after a retrospectively drab tour of the Enterprise. That's not to say that it wasn't usefull; it was certainly that - Tycho now knew where Sickbay was, and could get to the bridge without stopping to ask for directions. He knew where all the major points of the ship were, so would be able to get there in case of an emergency. But that's about it. Spock didn't show him any of the fun spots, or anything interesting. He did know where the rec room was, so he would be able to work out there and stay in shape. He was slightly upset that they hadn't found his squirrel - he didn't show it, of course, but it was one of his few links to his home universe.

But now that the tour was over, Tycho was reluctant to go back to his quarters with Janson, much less sleep in there. He had informed Wedge about the barrier, who had immediately agreed that it was a good idea. Of course, to Wedge, any idea that humiliated Janson and kept him from roaming an unfamiliar ship while causing havok and pranks and possibly spoiling diplomatic relations between the two civilizations for centuries was a good idea. But mostly just the 'humiliate Janson' part, though.

Of course, Tycho knew that Janson would eventually figure it out. After all, nine-year-olds could, and Janson had made repeated claims to a nine-year-old mind, so he should be able to get out. He was athletic, and probably didn't mind scuffing the furniture. In fact, definately didn't mind scuffing the furniture....

Tycho's mind raced. Janson was probably loose in the ship. That meant that they would have to start another search of the ship, this time for Janson. Just to make sure, Tycho ran at top speed to his quarters. Sure enough, there were scuff marks on the desks and dressers that matched Janson's boots, and Janson was no where to be seen. Tycho swore, and ran next door to Wedge's.

"He's out." Was the simple greeting Tycho offered. Not a hello, not a mind if I come in, not a can I please use your phone; my car broke down and it's terribly cold, wet, rainy, bleak, cloudy, and only getting worse. No, his greeting was none of those. It was a 'He's out.' Hardly polite, but it was all that was needed to spring Hobbie and Wedge into motion.

Wedge's rapid-fire questions came fast and furious: "For how long? When did you find out? How did he get out? Which direction did he go? Who saw him last? What did you have for breakfast a year ago tomorrow?"

Tycho took a deep breath before answering: "I'm not sure, just now, no idea, even less of an idea, probably me, Cap'n Crunch."

"Did you just now answer these questions truthfully, telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Wedge asked, not pausing to think about the answers.

"I did."

"I wish I had a tape recorder..." Hobbie muttured, and then the three ran off to find one troublemaker.

As they did, Janson burst out of the room across from the quarters that he and his friends had been assigned, shoving the tape recorder that he had into his pocket. Apparently, the owner of these quarters was a bizarre interior decorator or something, and he had nearly decapitated himself on a hanging sword curtain three feet inside the doorway. Of course, the 'Danger: Pointy Objects Ahead' sign should've tipped him off, but he figured that that was more for people like Hobbie who were insecure. Beyond the sword curtain was a white suit that looked strange, and the walls were covered in confetti. Wes made a mental note to ask the owner of the quarters where he got the confetti, so he could treat Wedge's room in a similiar manner.

But on to more important things.

Wes slipped inside of Wedge's quarters, and quickly guessed which bed was Wedge's and which was Hobbie's: Hobbie's was messy, and Wedge's wasn't. So Wes quickly went about sabotaging the bed in any way he could. Then he got the greatest idea ever.

He ran over to the computer and keyed in a request for about 2 gallons of superglue. The 2 gallons appeared out of nowhere right in front of him, which Wes found frightening (He had expected the computer to point him towards the nearest amount near that), but he figured that nobody ever got anywhere by looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Wes put down some superglue all over Wedge's bed, and then some on Wedge's datapad which he had foolishly left behind. He then spilled all the rest of the superglue on the floor, so that Wedge and Hobbie would first have to get through that obstacle before Wedge became stuck to either his datapad, or his bed, or preferably, both.

He then snuck out of the room, to roam the ship at will. He figured that the mess hell would be a good place to begin his self-guided tour, and decided to head there. As soon as he figured out what direction 'there' was. After about half an hour of mindless roaming, he decided to ask for directions, and walked to the nearest door. Since it didn't open, he supposed he should knock, and he did.

"Come..." Came a muffled, miserable-sounding voice.

"Uh... how do I - " The door opened, cutting Wes off midsentence. "Oh." He continued. "Convenient, that." He looked around the room, and didn't see anyone. "Uh.. where are you...?"

"Under here!" The voice came again, sounding more angry then miserable now.

"Y'know, that would be incredibly more helpful if I knew exactly where 'here' was." Janson struck back.

"The bed, you idiot! I'm under the bed!" And, in a voice that was obviously supposed to be under his breath, and also obviously wasn't, the voice added: "Moron..."

"Y'know..." Wes began again, looking at the bed. "I'm not sure I should let you out. You aren't exactly the nicest person, y'know."

"You wouldn't be either if you'd been attacked by a squirrel, trapped under a bed, and left there for over three hours!"

"I concede the point." Janson said, and then lifted up the bed with one hand. "So, you plannin' on comin' out soon, or what?"

The man - who turned out to be a red-shirt-wearing young man, who looked to be in his 20's - scrambled out and stood up quickly. "Took you long enough. Now, I don't suppose you've seen a squirr- Hey, you aren't in uniform."

"Yes I am." Janson said quickly.

"No, you aren't."

"You can't prove that."

"Yes, I can-"

"Would you risk your life on that?"

"Well, no, that's stupid - "

"Then you can't prove it."

"What? That doesn't even make sense - "

"It makes perfect sense. Your mind is just closed."

The man stumbled over his next words, paused, and then spoke again. "That is not Starfleet regulation uniform!"

"Yes, it is - wait, Starfleet? What the Sith is Starfleet? This is the official uniform of the New Republic Starfighter Command."

"Now I know that you're making that up." The man - who, if you haven't guessed already, was Flounderberry, mumbled under his breath something along the lines of 'on a Starship and not knowing what Stafleet is...', and then he looked up again. "You know what? I'm going to report you to Captain Kirk. What's your name?"

"Lieutenant Wes Janson, Rogue Squadron, New Republic Starfighter Command. Currently stationed at Bu Mrusian." Wes answered, knowing exactly what was going on and having fun dragging the poor guy along.

"What - Rogue Squadron? Bu Mrusian? What in the galaxy is the New Republic?" Flounderberry asked, completely bedaffled.

"Alright, I'll come clean with you. The New Republic is a top-secret project headed by Starfleet Intelligence." Janson didn't even know if there was a Starfleet Intelligence, but he assumed that there was and ploughed on regardless. "Rogue Squadron is a small part of it. It's all about getting small little ship called 'Starfighters' that are too fast for large Capitol Ships such as this to aim at and hit, but, with enough of them, Starfighters would be able to destroy a capital ship."

Flounderberry's jaw dropped. He had no idea...

Janson continued. "Bu Mrusian is a small planet we're based from several lightyears from your home planet."

Flounderberry's eyes narrowed. "Hey! How do you know that my home planet is Earth, huh? I bet that you have my home planet wrong. Yeah, cough it up. What's my homeworld?"

Janson blinked. Hadn't Flounderberry just told him what his homeworld was? Oh well. More fuel for the fires. "Your homeworld is Earth." He said easily.

Flounderberry's eyes widened with something akin to awe. "How did you know..." He is not, as you can see, the brightest human specimen.

"We know everything about you, Ensign... uh..." Janson searched his memory. What would be a name that nobody would ever have? How about... "Ensign Flounderberry. We know everything."

Janson hadn't thought it was possible, but Flounderberry's eyes got even larger. "How did you know my name..."

Wes nearly choked. He had guessed right?!

"Uh... yeah, Ensign... we know everything. Of course, if you tell anybody any of this, I'll have to kill you."

"But... how would you know if I said something?"

"We know everything."

With this, Janson turned away to walk out of the room, before he remembered his original goal in here. "Oh, and by the way, would you happen to know the direction to the mess hall?"

Flounderberry nodded dumbly, and then gave him specific directions, fearing retribution if he messed up.

"Thanks." Janson said when he was finished, and then went away.

After a few minutes, with Flounderberry still standing there, his brain finally caught up. "Hey, wait a minute!"

--

The group had split up, deciding that they'd cover ground better if they weren't togethor. And so this was how Tycho found Wes.

The way it happened was quite interesting, and, if it hadn't of been happening to him at the time, it might've elicited a chuckle or two from him. But it was happening to him, so it didn't.

Anyways, how it happened: Tycho was making his way towards the mess hall, since he knew Janson, and figured that he would go there eventually, when he saw a vaguely familiar and welcome sight: The squirrel he had lost. It was standing at a cross-roads for the corridor, and on the other side. Tycho went stock still, as to not scare the animal away, when Janson came strolling along, and then stopped at Tycho's right.

The three stared at eachother, none making a noise. Except for the squirrel, who was making little chirping noises, as squirrels were prone to do. Janson ran the possibilities of Tycho going after the squirrel, the possibilities of Tycho going after him through his mind, and decided that he had no idea what he was talking about. So, being Janson, he turned and ran towards the squirrel. The squirrel, understandably frightened, turned tail and fled. Tycho followed both of them, happy that they were going the same way.

The squirrel pulled a hard left, and Wes, so used to chasing people and creatures, instinctively followed, closing in on the little animal. Tycho, not far behind either of them, turned the corner a little sloppily, and rebounded off the wall as he came. Unfortunately, one of the doors opened, and out came one of the crewman. Janson swore when he saw who it was - that dopey Ensign, Flounderberry. Upon sight of the little squirrel, who had gotten him stuck under a bed for hours, Flounderberry screached, turned, and ran away from the little creature. And so it was that they came upon Wedge, who was knocked over by Flounderberry, run over by the squirrel, jumped over by Wes, and on his feet in time to chase Tycho as he went past.

It wasn't long before Flounderberry inadvertently led the group past Hobbie, who managed to jump out of the way in time to avoid being knocked over and picked up the pursuit after Wedge, wondering why exactly they were doing this. He didn't have much time to comtemplate before yet another thing happened.

As they ran past, a closet door opened and out came a small, child-sized little furry creature, who stepped right in front of Wes. Wes tried to veer to the side, or stop, or anything, but falled and flipped right of the creature, landing on the other side on his back. Tycho, having more time and seeing Wes's fate, dove to the side and slammed his shoulder against the wall.

Wedge, not privy to Wes's predicament and only wondering at Tycho's sudden manuever, was unable to do anything to stop himself from falling over the creature and landing on top of Janson. Hobbie made no attempt to get out of the way, but instead gave a mournful 'Oh, no' and landed on Wedge.

Uninterrupted by all this, Flounderberry continued to run for what he thought was his life, and the squirrel continued chasing him, having nothing better to do.

Tycho contemplated continuing the chase after the squirrel, but decided to stay behind and make sure everyone was okay. He walked towards them, and, while they were untangling themselves, looked at the creature who had caused the pile-up, and broke into loud guffaws, which dissolved into a fit of laughter that didn't end for quite a while. Janson, crushed on the bottom, and being a natural prankster and joker, shoved Wedge and Hobbie off of him and looked to see what was so funny, and soon suffered the same fate as Tycho.

Hobbie soon followed them, being on top. Wedge shoved the hysterical pilot off of him, sat up, and looked at the creature. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs at the unfairness of it all. But he indeed did feel a chuckle coming on, and then a laugh, and soon he was rolling around on the deck with the rest of them.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the creature was an Ewok.