After a few weeks she figured that Dr. Chapman wasn't going to say anything
and she relaxed back into her routine. The ER was slammed. There had been a
five-car pile up on the bridge and most of the injured had been sent to
them. They had all worked their ass's off trying to save those who could be
saved. The hardest for her to treat had been a 2-year-old little girl that
had never had a chance. Robert pronounced her and slammed out of the trauma
room. Lexie was surprised at his expression of anger. He always seemed so
in control and she felt herself being drawn deeper to him. But she pushed
it away as the next victim was wheeled in. As the day passed the ER started
to calm down and she stopped outside of the trauma room and looked in at
Robert. He was cleaning up the blood on the little girl's face. She quietly
pushed open the door and stepped inside. She stood watching him and he
gently washed her face and hands.
"I didn't want her mother to have to see her like this." He said quietly. She nodded and walked over to the table.
"Can I help?" She simply asked and he looked up at her and nodded. Lexie looked at him and felt something inside of her that she couldn't explain. He met her gaze and the tension was almost stifling. She thought for a minute that he was going to kiss her and a part of her started to panic. But as he broke their gaze and looked down again she realized that another part of her was disappointed. She felt tears threatening to spill and she turned and walked out of the room. She was so confused. What had just happened to her? She hated him. She couldn't imagine hating anyone else more. But she knew that was a lie. She walked into the lounge and sat down on the old brown sofa. She had to get a handle on this. She took a few deep breaths and got up. She just needed to keep her head together for a few more weeks than she would graduate and match at another hospital and she would never have to think about him again.
She threw herself into her last month of medical school. She had blamed the moment of weakness on sleep deprivation and the high emotions of the day and tried to keep it out of her mind. Match day came and she prayed that she had gotten Mercy in Chicago so she could be closer to her grandparents and her brother. She and Jason grabbed their letters and handed them to each other. She opened his and raised her eyebrows. He did the same with hers.
"Don't tell me." She said and he nodded.
"I take it we will be working together then." He said and they grabbed their own letters and she shook her head. She had matched here, at this hospital, in the ER. "I don't know if I can take any more Romano." He said and she laughed.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." She knew he thought she meant something else but she knew this was going to be trouble. Robert walked up to the admit desk and looked at them.
"I don't see any smiles, what did you guys get County or something?" They looked at him and shook their heads. "Well where did you get?" He asked amused.
"Here." She said and looked at him and he laughed.
"Oh man, that sucks." He said and walked into the lounge. He sat down at the desk and stared off into space. A part of him was glad she was staying but another part was not happy at all. The last thing he needed was something that would break his focus. He didn't have time for any distractions. He shook his head and started reviewing his charts.
Lexie was dreading graduation. Not so much the ceremony but the gala event her parents had planned for her afterwards. She didn't want any part of it. Not to mention John had finals and wouldn't be able to fly up. The day before they graduated all of the med students were excitedly tying up loose ends and Robert walked into the lounge to escape the noise and found Lexie starring out the window.
"Let me guess, you're upset because your yearbook is all full and you just still have so many people that you want to sign it." She shook her head but didn't turn around. He walked over to her and crossed his arms and sighed. He didn't have any clue why he hadn't just walked out the door and now he would have to hear her boohooing about whatever the problem she was having.
"I was just thinking about my brother. I wish he was going to be there tomorrow." Robert nodded his head.
"Well can't you just fly down there after your gala party?" She smiled and shook her head.
"No, I was thinking about my older brother Bobby. He died from Leukemia almost ten years ago." Robert stared at her profile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He said quietly. She nodded and he felt something start to nag at him. It was the overwhelming feeling to hold her in is arms and never let go. To do what ever it would take to take the pain away from her that he saw so deeply in her. She turned and faced him as a single tear fell down her cheek. He softly reached up and wiped it off with his thumb and she closed her eyes as he touched her face. She opened her eyes when she felt the warmth of his touch leave her face. They locked eyes and neither moved. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him but she knew she couldn't do it. They were going to have to work together for the next few years and it would just make it hard. He was thinking the same and they were both glad that the door swung open and they could look away from each other. Jason ran in and stopped. He had a feeling he had just interrupted something.
"Lex, you ready to go?" he asked and she nodded. She looked at Robert and he looked back, allowing them both one last second in the emotion they brought out in each other. She turned and started out and Jason put his hand on the small of her back to guide her out. Robert clenched his jaw and then closed his eyes.
"You can't let this happen to yourself Robert." He thought and took a deep breath.
Graduation had been a blur of boring speeches and guest speakers. Before Lexie knew it she was sitting in her custom made silk dress getting drunk as everyone around her were having the times of their lives. She had always hated these things. She hated spectacle and all of the rules that came along with it. If she had her way she would be at her apartment in her sweat pants eating ice cream.
"You know," She jumped as a quiet voice whispered into her ear. "You may have the diploma but you are not a real doctor until you have done one last thing." She smiled at the familiar voice.
"Oh really?" She said quietly, still not turning around.
"Yes, so I suggest that you come with me quickly before anyone finds out and they take back the brownstone your parents gave you." She laughed and turned and faced him.
"Well by all means, I don't want to be homeless." He took her hand and led her out of the ballroom and held her coat out for her and as he helped her with it he allowed himself to let his hands linger for just a second longer on her skin. She smiled at him and took his arm. "Ok, I am all yours, but I must warn you, I am not going bum tipping." He laughed and hailed a cab. They ended up back at the hospital and she looked at him with an amused smile as he snuck them in the back way and led her up the stairs to the roof. There she found a blanket and several bottles of booze. She looked at him and laughed. "And what in the hell is all of this?" He laughed at her expression.
"Come on." He said and dragged her over to the blanket. They sat down and he opened the bottle. "Now, isn't this better than that stuffy party?" He said and took a big drink right from the bottle. She laughed as he handed it to her and she did the same. It was strange for both of them to be sitting there alone. But it was even stranger that it felt right to be there with him. They spent the night talking about everything. He told her about the hell he went through when he was a med student and they could finally laugh at some of the things that had happened in the past year. He told her of his desire to leave emergency medicine and go into surgery and she told him about John's desire to be a surgeon. Both were very comfortable sitting there laughing and joking with each other. Her coat was starting to not be enough to keep her from shivering and he helped her up and opened the blanket and wrapped it around her. She saw that he was cold also and opened the blanket for him. He stopped and debated it. He was just drunk enough that he was afraid he would let his guard down but he figured that for one night he was going to enjoy himself, regardless of the consequences. They actually snuggled up together to keep warm and continued talking until the sun started to come up.
"I never thought I would say it but I actually had fun tonight." She said and smiled at him and he smiled back.
"It was a good night." He said.
She laid her head on his shoulder as the sun rose and he felt the panic rising with it. This was different than any of his conquests. There was something that this woman did to him that made him want to protect her and love her forever and that was one feeling that was dangerous to him. That would make him vulnerable to someone and he swore he would never allow that to happen. He looked at her and she had her head comfortably on his shoulder but her face told another story. This felt right. For the first time in her life she could actually imagine being with another person forever. Images flashed through her mind of a possible future. Marriage, children, waking up next to him and it was all so real that she felt like an uninvited guest in someone else's life. She felt the fear coming on. This was something she couldn't let herself get sucked into. She sat up and he stood and helped her up. They quietly snuck down the stairs and out the back door. He hailed a cab and opened the door for her. Their eyes met and for an instant they saw each other's thoughts. She broke the stare and got into the cab and he shut the door and the cab pulled away.
"I didn't want her mother to have to see her like this." He said quietly. She nodded and walked over to the table.
"Can I help?" She simply asked and he looked up at her and nodded. Lexie looked at him and felt something inside of her that she couldn't explain. He met her gaze and the tension was almost stifling. She thought for a minute that he was going to kiss her and a part of her started to panic. But as he broke their gaze and looked down again she realized that another part of her was disappointed. She felt tears threatening to spill and she turned and walked out of the room. She was so confused. What had just happened to her? She hated him. She couldn't imagine hating anyone else more. But she knew that was a lie. She walked into the lounge and sat down on the old brown sofa. She had to get a handle on this. She took a few deep breaths and got up. She just needed to keep her head together for a few more weeks than she would graduate and match at another hospital and she would never have to think about him again.
She threw herself into her last month of medical school. She had blamed the moment of weakness on sleep deprivation and the high emotions of the day and tried to keep it out of her mind. Match day came and she prayed that she had gotten Mercy in Chicago so she could be closer to her grandparents and her brother. She and Jason grabbed their letters and handed them to each other. She opened his and raised her eyebrows. He did the same with hers.
"Don't tell me." She said and he nodded.
"I take it we will be working together then." He said and they grabbed their own letters and she shook her head. She had matched here, at this hospital, in the ER. "I don't know if I can take any more Romano." He said and she laughed.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." She knew he thought she meant something else but she knew this was going to be trouble. Robert walked up to the admit desk and looked at them.
"I don't see any smiles, what did you guys get County or something?" They looked at him and shook their heads. "Well where did you get?" He asked amused.
"Here." She said and looked at him and he laughed.
"Oh man, that sucks." He said and walked into the lounge. He sat down at the desk and stared off into space. A part of him was glad she was staying but another part was not happy at all. The last thing he needed was something that would break his focus. He didn't have time for any distractions. He shook his head and started reviewing his charts.
Lexie was dreading graduation. Not so much the ceremony but the gala event her parents had planned for her afterwards. She didn't want any part of it. Not to mention John had finals and wouldn't be able to fly up. The day before they graduated all of the med students were excitedly tying up loose ends and Robert walked into the lounge to escape the noise and found Lexie starring out the window.
"Let me guess, you're upset because your yearbook is all full and you just still have so many people that you want to sign it." She shook her head but didn't turn around. He walked over to her and crossed his arms and sighed. He didn't have any clue why he hadn't just walked out the door and now he would have to hear her boohooing about whatever the problem she was having.
"I was just thinking about my brother. I wish he was going to be there tomorrow." Robert nodded his head.
"Well can't you just fly down there after your gala party?" She smiled and shook her head.
"No, I was thinking about my older brother Bobby. He died from Leukemia almost ten years ago." Robert stared at her profile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He said quietly. She nodded and he felt something start to nag at him. It was the overwhelming feeling to hold her in is arms and never let go. To do what ever it would take to take the pain away from her that he saw so deeply in her. She turned and faced him as a single tear fell down her cheek. He softly reached up and wiped it off with his thumb and she closed her eyes as he touched her face. She opened her eyes when she felt the warmth of his touch leave her face. They locked eyes and neither moved. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him but she knew she couldn't do it. They were going to have to work together for the next few years and it would just make it hard. He was thinking the same and they were both glad that the door swung open and they could look away from each other. Jason ran in and stopped. He had a feeling he had just interrupted something.
"Lex, you ready to go?" he asked and she nodded. She looked at Robert and he looked back, allowing them both one last second in the emotion they brought out in each other. She turned and started out and Jason put his hand on the small of her back to guide her out. Robert clenched his jaw and then closed his eyes.
"You can't let this happen to yourself Robert." He thought and took a deep breath.
Graduation had been a blur of boring speeches and guest speakers. Before Lexie knew it she was sitting in her custom made silk dress getting drunk as everyone around her were having the times of their lives. She had always hated these things. She hated spectacle and all of the rules that came along with it. If she had her way she would be at her apartment in her sweat pants eating ice cream.
"You know," She jumped as a quiet voice whispered into her ear. "You may have the diploma but you are not a real doctor until you have done one last thing." She smiled at the familiar voice.
"Oh really?" She said quietly, still not turning around.
"Yes, so I suggest that you come with me quickly before anyone finds out and they take back the brownstone your parents gave you." She laughed and turned and faced him.
"Well by all means, I don't want to be homeless." He took her hand and led her out of the ballroom and held her coat out for her and as he helped her with it he allowed himself to let his hands linger for just a second longer on her skin. She smiled at him and took his arm. "Ok, I am all yours, but I must warn you, I am not going bum tipping." He laughed and hailed a cab. They ended up back at the hospital and she looked at him with an amused smile as he snuck them in the back way and led her up the stairs to the roof. There she found a blanket and several bottles of booze. She looked at him and laughed. "And what in the hell is all of this?" He laughed at her expression.
"Come on." He said and dragged her over to the blanket. They sat down and he opened the bottle. "Now, isn't this better than that stuffy party?" He said and took a big drink right from the bottle. She laughed as he handed it to her and she did the same. It was strange for both of them to be sitting there alone. But it was even stranger that it felt right to be there with him. They spent the night talking about everything. He told her about the hell he went through when he was a med student and they could finally laugh at some of the things that had happened in the past year. He told her of his desire to leave emergency medicine and go into surgery and she told him about John's desire to be a surgeon. Both were very comfortable sitting there laughing and joking with each other. Her coat was starting to not be enough to keep her from shivering and he helped her up and opened the blanket and wrapped it around her. She saw that he was cold also and opened the blanket for him. He stopped and debated it. He was just drunk enough that he was afraid he would let his guard down but he figured that for one night he was going to enjoy himself, regardless of the consequences. They actually snuggled up together to keep warm and continued talking until the sun started to come up.
"I never thought I would say it but I actually had fun tonight." She said and smiled at him and he smiled back.
"It was a good night." He said.
She laid her head on his shoulder as the sun rose and he felt the panic rising with it. This was different than any of his conquests. There was something that this woman did to him that made him want to protect her and love her forever and that was one feeling that was dangerous to him. That would make him vulnerable to someone and he swore he would never allow that to happen. He looked at her and she had her head comfortably on his shoulder but her face told another story. This felt right. For the first time in her life she could actually imagine being with another person forever. Images flashed through her mind of a possible future. Marriage, children, waking up next to him and it was all so real that she felt like an uninvited guest in someone else's life. She felt the fear coming on. This was something she couldn't let herself get sucked into. She sat up and he stood and helped her up. They quietly snuck down the stairs and out the back door. He hailed a cab and opened the door for her. Their eyes met and for an instant they saw each other's thoughts. She broke the stare and got into the cab and he shut the door and the cab pulled away.
