Conflictions of the Mind
-Chapter Two-
And Fade Away


Someday
When my life has passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I'll look around for another try
And'll fade away

No. Not the dream again. No.

The little girl awoke, shivering. The dim light of the sun backlighting the clouds did little to warm her as her clothes were wet, practically glued to her body like a second skin; the cloak she had been wearing was wrapped around her infant brother, keeping him warm and dry at least. It was a good thing he liked to sleep a lot, though he didn't seem bothered by the same things that she was.

The rain had let up, for the most part, though the saltwater spray still stung her eyes, and the awful memory of falling overboard returned to her again. Falling overboard in the sea near Flanoir. Yet this wasn't Flanoir: it was some other place, some island.

This wasn't a dream, though. This was the reality.

Now it came back to her: being set in the washtub, holding on to it with all the strength she could muster. Which hadn't been that much.

Mother hadn't given any explanation; she had called them cargo, after all. Was this what happened to half-elves that were burdens to their parents? No, it couldn't be true.

"Mama.." she whispered. "Why did you leave us?" She pushed herself to a sitting position, having some difficulty, while checking on Genis. He was asleep, thankfully; curled up and safe-and dry-maybe he'd forget all of this soon. 'Not that he's likely to remember,' she thought wryly. For now, though, he was all she had left. And she wouldn't forget. Her stomach twisted once more and she drew her knees to her chest, laying her head between them. "Not now.. I can't be sick.. I have to watch him.." she whispered; the best version of a prayer she could think of. "Please.."

It had only been two days since that horrible night. The washtub lay dashed to pieces on the shore, useless, the place where she had barely crawled to safely still fresh with tracks. The food was hardly enough to make do; but she would. She made a promise to Genis that she would.

Raine looked up now at the stones behind her. "What kind of place is this?" she thought aloud, not that she would receive an answer. The rocks all seemed smooth, in some strange formation.. but whatever it was, she just wanted to get away from there. If she ever left, she never wanted to see this island again. She shivered as a gust of wind hit her, seeming to go right through her soaked clothes, and her head went to her knees again. "I can't be sick.."

The white cloak that was wrapped around her brother was now dirty and weather stained. It had been so pretty when she had gotten it from Daddy so long ago, before they had to move from the village. And the satchel that Mother had given her before the last boat ride held some food supplies; though they probably would go bad if they hadn't already. An assortment of fruits, one bowl, one spoon, some bread and two canteens. Raine knew well enough that the food had to be saved somehow, until she and Genis were rescued from this island.

Until Mother and Father came back to get them.

Without warning, the baby rolled over, hitting Raine with his tiny fists, his blue eyes wide in his small face. She gave a start and looked down at him. "I thought you were sleeping. I guess you want some more food, hmm?" She reached around for the small bowl and smashed some of the leftover bananas into it. "This'll have to do." She dug around for the spoon, and scooped up some of the mesh for her brother. "Eat up, Genis. This is all we've got."

His tiny hands sent the spoon flying, getting banana mesh on her soaked clothes. The eleven-year-old girl sighed and frustratedly blew her hair out of her eyes. This was going to take a while. 'Though that's all we have,' she thought. 'A while. Unless Mama comes back for us. Or Daddy. They have to, Genis. They have to.'


Lloyd was sleeping deeply. The events of the previous day weighed heavily on his mind: forging the pact with Celsius. The return to Ozette, yet too late to save the city. Always too late.

Other than that, his sleep wasn't too terribly troubled. He dreamed of a mother that he barely remembered, of his Dwarven father, Dirk.. his true father remained a mystery to him. Always a shadow in his dreams, the man never stayed long enough for him to get a glimpse of his face.

Yet he heard the voice. The voice seemed familiar, in a way, yet not in a way that he could place.

His thoughts turned to those of his friends, his fellow travelers. He had sworn to protect Colette, and to save both worlds from their twisted fate. So far, at least Colette seemed to be saved, but what of the worlds? 'I will save them.' He vowed. 'I said I would, and we will all do it together.'


Presea was asleep, her mind a complex maze that even she could not navigate. In her dreams, she was not the taciturn girl that the public saw; in her dreams, her form varied. Either she held the form that she appeared in now, as a twelve year old girl, or she was.. older. As she should have been, had her time not been stopped.

All she could hear some nights were the echoes of evil laughter. Vharley. The Desian leader. The Pope. She was turned into a puppet, to dance on the ends of their strings, with no will of her own. The twelve year old in her was afraid, the twenty-eight year old furious. Yet they still could not mix together; these two separate forms. In her mind, she was neither twelve nor twenty-eight. While age was yet a number, she could not put a number to herself.

She was trapped in the middle between this unholy balance. Somehow, she would have to save herself. If her friends could help her. If the whispering of those evil weapons would stop for good. Was she truly an empty soul? Or was it that her soul was split in two and lost for so long that the method to fixing it was beyond her?

Presea didn't know who she truly was anymore. If she ever did, once, a long time ago. Lost time. It would all be truly lost forever.

In her sleep, the tears poured down her cheeks. If she were awake, she would not know why.


The pale light of the dawn graced the windows of Altessa's house. It was a dwarven home, built right in front of the cave itself, yet was decorated enough so that it didn't seem terribly cave like, merely comfortable.

The dwarf was awake, and he seemed to be ruminating, his eyes closed as he rested in his favorite chair, turning some tools over in his hands, while the green-haired Tabatha busied herself by readying the sitting area for breakfast. Regal was awake as well, his hands bound before him as usual, apparently studying the works forged by Altessa with interest. Overall everything was.. quiet.

Altessa and Regal had talked for a few moments earlier, discussing their pasts and their guilt. Something which was odd, since neither one spoke much about the subjects to others. Yet sharing guilt with someone else who feels guilty is a good way to make oneself feel at least a little better, by being able to unload themselves and help someone else at the same time.

The sun was brighter, now.

Curled up comfortably on her cot, Sheena yawned hugely, and rolled over, nearly falling off with a slight squawk. This noise didn't disturb the other sleepers, yet the young ninja girl was awake now, and she sat up, muttering to herself as she wrapped her night robe around her body. Her back and shoulders were aching, and she was crabby. "Not a morning person." She muttered to herself, stepping into the hall.

"Mornin, folks." Sheena said as she stepped inside, covering up another yawn and reaching back to twist her hair into a bun at the nape of her neck. She stretched, her back popping just a bit. "Ooh.."

Regal raised an eyebrow. "You all right, Sheena?"

The raven-haired girl nodded, "Me? Yeah.. I think I slept wrong or something. So I just thought I'd see who was out here and what was for breakfast before I got dressed."

Tabatha glanced over at the pair. "QUICHE. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. IT WILL BE READY IN A MOMENT."

Regal nodded, moving to sit down at the table. "Indeed. Thank you, Tabatha. I'm sure it will be quite delicious."

Altessa nodded, looking up for a brief moment. "Oh yes. Curry and Quiche are her specialties."

Tabatha smiled. "THANK YOU, MASTER." She began setting places at the table, n a very precise manner.

From the other side of the hall, Sheena heard a few more moans and groans, and slowly, the others started to wake up as well. The smells of food cooking soon spread around the house. "I'll be right back, then." She stepped backwards.. right into a pair of strong arms. Eyes widening when she saw the strands of red hair, she reached back and without warning pulled the chosen into a chokehold. "You idiot!"

"Ow!" Zelos was clearly taken off guard; Sheena had very good reflexes at the oddest times, and her hold on his neck was rather tight. "Geez, can't a guy walk around a place without running into crazy banshees?"

"I've a good mind to kick you in a place that will reduce your manliness!" Sheena snapped, letting him go and watching him fall to the floor with a very annoyed expression. "What's the deal!"

Zelos shrugged from his position on the floor. "You bumped into me! What else am I supposed to do when a good-looking banshee steps backwards into my arms?" He winced as Sheena kicked him in the leg and stormed back towards the girls' room. "Harsh."

Regal glanced over and simply shook his head at the chosen. Zelos rose to his feet, brushing himself off. "Out of all the women in the world who love me, I have to get stuck with this bunch." He muttered. "Certainly.. makes things difficult. Puts a dampener on a man's pride."

"Ha, ha." Genis smirked, the silver-haired mage having seen the entire scenario as he and Mithos stepped out of the room. Zelos shot a glare over at him. "Shut up, brat."

Mithos frowned, glaring at the red-haired chosen now. "Don't call him that!"

Zelos looked taken aback. "Ah.. don't worry, Mithos. Genis and I are good buds. I call him brat with nothing but love in my heart." Regal nearly choked on his breakfast, and Zelos shot him a look. "What!"

Genis just shook his head. "Ha, ha. We'll be back in a few minutes; we're just going to talk outside. It's okay Mithos, really, don't look so mad at him. He doesn't have many real friends." The blond boy seemed to relax, and nodded as the pair stepped outside the door.

"I heard that!" Zelos called after them, his face red.

Tabatha stepped back into the room. "WHO ELSE WANTS BREAKFAST? IT IS ON THE TABLE, PLEASE ENJOY YOURSELVES."

"Thank you, Tabatha." Sheena returned to the room, fully dressed this time, shooting a glare at Zelos once more before stepping to the table.

Soon after, Colette and Presea stepped into the room, the blonde rubbing at her eyes, the pink-haired one slipping into a seat, staring blankly over at a wall. A true dormant volcano, unable to reveal her hidden furor.

"Hello my cute one, and my little angel. Did you two have good dreams of me?" Zelos asked, smiling as he walked over to the pair. Colette blushed, though Presea, as usual, showed no expressive reaction. Sheena merely rolled her eyes, already having her fill of being annoyed with Zelos for the day.

"Dreams. A series of deep thoughts that occur when a being is in the state called sleeping. Usually have some hidden meaning behind them." Presea said in her monotonous voice, almost absently as she began eating her food.

"Awww, Presea!" Zelos sighed, digging into his quiche.

"I think that there is more to it than that." Colette said brightly. "I mean, sometimes you can control your dreams, and sometimes you can't. Sometimes you can see the future, or get an idea on how to make things the way you think they ought to be."

"I suppose." Presea shrugged just a bit, somewhat put off by Colette's constant cheerfulness. How she envied that exuberance, despite what the other girl had went through. "I.. do not know what the meaning behind my dreams are, however."

"Do you want to talk about them?" The blonde chosen asked. Presea shook her head.

"Not.. yet. But thank you for the offer." She fell silent, picking up her fork and concentrating on her plate. They all ate in reasonable silence, Genis and Mithos returning to join them. Sheena finished up her food, pushing her plate forwards with a contented sigh.

"That was delicious, Tabatha." She commented to the doll, then rolled her shoulders back. "I could use a good massage. I do wish those hot springs were open."

"I could.." Zelos began, but his words died as soon as Sheena glared at him. Soon Tabatha came around to clear the empty plates away.

Regal stood up after a little while. "Now that we're all fed and rested.. wait.. Are Lloyd and Raine still sleeping? I haven't seen either of them all morning."

Zelos rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, Lloyd was sleeping last I saw, but I haven't seen her highness at all."

Sheena frowned. "Now that you mention it, she wasn't in her bed this morning. I figured that she was out here. I'll go check the room again." She rose from her seat and disappeared into the room for a minute.

Mithos looked worried. "We should look around for her. Maybe she took a walk? Though Genis and I would have seen her.." his voice trailed off, looking up as the raven-haired summoner returned.

"I found this on her pillow." Sheena held up a folded slip of paper. "I guess it's a note of some kind."

Now Genis frowned, concern darkening his blue eyes. "What does it say?"

"It says.." Sheena scanned the letter, her eyes widening a bit. "It says she's gone to do a bit of research, and she'll catch up with us later."

"Let us go outside." Regal said, his voice calm. "Colette, please go wake up Lloyd and inform him of what's happened."

"Yes, Regal." Colette nodded, rising from her seat and hurrying into the boys' sleeping quarters. The others filed outside of the door, Tabatha joining them.


The food was almost gone. It was difficult, making sure there was enough rations.. making sure there was enough for Genis, even though he was too little.. his gums were sharp, though.. he could suck on things..

Thankfully most of it was stuff that he could eat; she knew that HE must stay alive; she knew, because she had been tossed in frigid water before, and he must never know that painthat irrational fear.. she was small when that happened, and yet, she remembered..

And there was pain.. he was hungry, always hungry.. and so was she, being young as she was she could bear it; she had to.. this drive to keep him safe was what kept her alive for so long after Mother decided to leave them..

It was night again, after a series of days and nights that she thought were going to last forever. Perhaps even weeks. Marks on the stone from mud, made with a single finger, day after day.. sometimes Genis slept, sometimes Genis cried.. or they both cried.

With each passing day, Raine prayed that Mother would return, though the longer the time passed, she felt that it wouldn't happen.

Apples and lemons. That's what they had left. Raine had to smush the apples in order for Genis to eat them, sprinkle them with lemon so that the leftovers wouldn't go bad.. "When I grow up, I'll always use lemon in my food," she vowed. Without the lemons keeping things fresh, they would have surely run out of fruits faster. If she would live longer to grow up. Heh.

'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' She thought wryly, wryly enough for an eleven-year-old girl. Used to the bitterness of her situation. Granted, she always hated lemons, ever since the time she bit into one by accident when she was four. She winced, just thinking of the incident, and rocked baby Genis to help get him to sleep. 'I must protect him. I must.' She thought, as tears blurred her vision.

It would be longer, though.. long nights and shorter days.. more wind and rain.. Genis still lived, though his cries became worse.

She was beyond the point of even wanting to eat for herself. The dreams.. the dreams were bad.. she couldn't tell the dreams from the reality.. a dark wave would rise and swallow them all; the island, Genis.. the remains of the tub...

All vanished in a swirl of blackness.. and the nights rolled on..

Until.. the light came.

A bright light (it couldn't be the sun, it was night; it couldn't be a dream, or was it? She was numb, so NUMB)

caused her to wince. The sky was clear in the first time that she remembered.. as the sky above had been a mesh of clouds ever since she had landed on that island, and the light of the moon startled her. Light

(It was BRIGHT, and it made her WINCE)

yet it wasn't actually the moon, or was it? The moon never was that bright, in the night sky, with the pinpoints of stars surrounding it.. in fact.. the light of the starts was... (swallowed up?) by it.. it wasn't the wave of darkness that she had always dreamed, yet this could have been the same thing.. with the blinding.. with the..

"Light.." she whispered, shielding her eyes with one hand as she watched. A single ray of light was traveling down towards the island. Splotches of purple appeared in her vision; it was too bright, yet she couldn't turn her head away. Couldn't stop.. couldn't move...

Yet the light was set on it's course, and her eyes widened as it struck the stone formation where the two of them were seated.

"We're going to die.." she whispered. "The angels sent for us, and we're going to die.." tears streaming down her cheeks, she held Genis all the tighter to her body, and the baby awoke, startled, bawling once more at the top of his lungs.

Suddenly the light was all around her, blinding, consuming. She could feel herself being tugged—pulled, dragged, through some kind of vortex that had come out of nowhere. It was the darkness.. it was inescapable.. a minute seemed to turn into an eternity; the gate had opened, and they were falling. For a moment there was brightness, and then it all vanished.

Nothing existed but her and Genis. And she couldn't wake up.


Raine cried out as she wrenched her eyes open, staring at the ruin formation. This was definitely the place, the very place.. her eyes suddenly sought the ground. "Perhaps even this very spot." She murmured, a hand reaching up to massage at her temples, her eyes slowly moving from the ground up, searching the stones.. she knelt down.

There. Faded now, almost too light to even see. But it was there. Her fingers traced the marks on the stone lightly, and her gaze moved. A plank of wood. A spoon. A scrap of cloak.

It was all.. here. On the other side of the gate. Otherworldly Gate. The phrase wouldn't go away.

The blinding headache came on again. Absently her hand reached for the stone that Mithos had handed her, her fingers first brushing against the exphere. "Who's life is it that I'm wearing?" she murmured, closing her eyes, Having a feeling that she would never find out, her hand instead passed down to the blue stone hidden in her pocket, and relief finally came over her senses.

Sunk in. Let it go.