New York City, NYU 1995

Lexie looked at the flier in her hand trying to figure out the building she was looking for. She spotted it across the lawn and ran to the door and slid in as quietly as possible. The orientation was almost over and she tried to hide in the back. As the speaker excused everyone she heard an all to familiar voice behind her.

"You just don't have any luck being on time for orientations do you?" She grinned and turned to face him.

"Are you following me?" She said with a smile and he laughed. They stared at each other, taking in the sight they had both thought of so many times over the years. "You are apart of this?" She said amazed. He laughed.

"Don't sound so surprised." She shook her head.

"Sorry, I just didn't know that you had moved back here." He shook his head.

"I haven't. I am still in Chicago, I just fly up here once a month for this."

She raised her eyebrows. "Impressive. You actually have a heart in there?"

He smiled. "Yeah, but don't tell anyone."

She laughed. They turned as they heard someone call his name across the room.

"Excuse me." He said and left her standing there alone.

It took her a while to get used to the places they went to. They would go to homeless shelter and half way houses and give medical treatment to the men and women that lived there. But the smells and the sounds made it hard to feel the joy of helping her fellow man. The men leered at her and the women were convinced that she wanted their men. Robert always seemed to be close by her. Truth be told he did that on purpose. He knew these people could get crazy at the drop of a hat and he worried about her safety. She was having a bad day. A man had tried to touch her boob and his wife had spit at her for it. She was sitting on the front porch of the halfway house smoking a cigarette when he found her.

"Come on." He said and walked off the porch. He stopped a few feet away. "Lexie, what was the first thing I ever taught you?" He said and she grinned at him.

"That as men loose their hair they get bitchy?" She said and he rolled his eyes.

"No, when I walk you follow." He said and grinned at her. She laughed and caught up with him.

"Where are we going?" She said as they walked along the busy street. "I think you could use some cheering up." She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Really? And what do you have in mind?" She asked suggestively. He shook his head and stopped in front of an ice cream store.

"Ice cream." He said and she laughed. "Ice cream always makes everything alright." She laughed and shook her head.

"Lead the way." She said and he opened the door for her. She sat down in a corner booth and he went to the counter and ordered for them. He carried the bowls over and set it down in front of her. "That is a lot of ice cream." She said and stared at the bowl.

They ate in a comfortable silence. Every once in a while one would kick the other under the table and both would grin at each other like idiots. Both felt childish but neither cared. They had missed each other and although neither dared say it, the other knew. They finished their ice cream and walked back to the half way house. As they walked in the door they sensed something was wrong and went upstairs to see what had happened. They walked into the first room and Lexie felt herself being slammed onto the floor with Robert falling right next to her. The man who had tried to grab her before was standing in the room with a gun. Robert slid closer to Lexie as the man was ranting and raving about another person who lived there. He started to wave the gun around and shout at the top of his lungs. Lexie felt herself start to shake from fear but at the same time she felt Robert's arm wrap around her protectively. The man left the room and they heard a lot of yelling down the hall and then someone yelled back. The exchange went on for what seemed like forever and finally the man sat down in the hall outside of the room they were in. No one knew what he would do next but they could hear the house going into lockdown and they both knew that meant they were trapped in there. The day turned into night and nothing had happened. The man would yell something to no one every once and a while but for the most part no one moved. Lexie was so tired and scared. Robert was the only thing that was keeping her together. She had no idea that he was just as scared. He held on to her the entire time. Neither spoke a word the entire night. They sat there waiting to see what would happen next. As the sun came up the man finally screamed out to someone to leave him alone and aimed the gun at himself and pulled the trigger. Lexie jumped and Robert pulled her closer as he slumped to the floor. It was over. He took her home and sat with her until she fell asleep. He was gone when she woke up and she wondered for a minute if it had all really happened.

They stared a routine. Once a month he would fly up, they would go do what they had to do at the shelters then they would go to the ice cream shop, sit in the same booth and talk about what ever seemed to be going on in their lives. They never seemed to talk about anything having to do with their romantic lives. It seemed taboo so they both avoided it. Both seemed perfectly content with the arrangement. Neither knew that the other one waited for that one day a month for the rest of the month. He never knew that she would spend extra time getting ready that one Saturday a month and she never knew all of the things he put off by flying up there. This went on as each season changed and soon a year had passed then two. It was always the same. Never dinner or drinks. Just ice cream then he would hail her a cab and she would leave to wait for the next month and he would watch her go and wish he could someday get the guts up to go with her.

Both sat quietly playing with their food, not daring to look at the other. She finally looked up and cleared her throat.

"So I have some news." She said. He looked up and nodded.

"Um yeah, me too." They locked eyes. Neither had any clue what the other was going to say but both knew that once it was all said everything would change.

"I am quitting the project." She said and he looked shocked.

"Why?" He said and she bit her lip.

"Well, you see, I have been seeing someone for a while and Landon and my father both feel it is the best thing for me to do." He glared at her.

"Is that what you want?" She looked down and nodded and he knew that she was lying. "Well, I guess that is fitting." She looked up at him and he avoided her gaze. "Lexie, Donna and I are getting married." He met her gaze and saw the tears threatening to fall.

"Wow." She said and her hand went to her mouth. The first tear fell and she panicked. She couldn't let him she her cry. She looked at him and got up. "I have to go." She barely whispered and he nodded. Both had just been hit with painful information and needed time to comprehend what it would mean in the end. She waited to cry until she was safely in her house then she sobbed. She lay on the sofa and cried herself to sleep.

She woke to a knocking on her front door. She knew who it was. She got up and opened the door for him and walked back into the living room and turned on a lamp on her desk.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a sleep filled voice.

"Lexie I came here to tell you that you are making a mistake. Don't let them convince you to quit. I see how much you love it." She sat down and shook her head.

"You are such a hypocrite." She said and he had to look away because he knew she was right. "Why are you getting married Robert? Because you are head over heals in love with her? Bullshit, how come you never mentioned her then?" She yelled. He looked up at her.

"I really don't think you have room to talk. Who is this mystery man who had swept you off of your feet?" Lexie stood up and walked over to the door.

"Go." She said.

He made no move to leave. "All I am saying Lexie is that I don't want you to make a mistake. If this is what you want than great, by all means quit. But do it for yourself not for him."

She bit her lip and stared at him as the silence enveloped the room. "Do you love her?" She asked in a whisper. He looked at her and said nothing. "That is what I thought. Why are you marrying her?" She asked quietly.

He looked up at her and both saw the pain the other was feeling. "You wouldn't understand."

She laughed. "Try me." He sat down and rubbed his hands together.

"What do you want me to say? Do you want me to deny that I have feelings for you? Is that what will make you happy? Well I can't do that."

She stared at him as the nervousness tightened in her stomach as his voice got louder. "Does she make you happy?" She asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"Yes." He simply said and her heart broke.

"Then I wish you luck. Now I would appreciate it if you left." He stood up and walked past her towards the door, his mind racing as he stopped and grabbed her arm with one hand and turned her around to face him as the other hand went to her hair and pulled her mouth to his. It was just skin touching skin but it was like nothing either had ever known. It was every romantic greeting card, romance novel and fantasy rolled into one. They were drowning in the kiss and he pulled back before it would be to late and he would never leave. They were both breathless and stared at each other with a frightened passion neither had ever expected. He had always known that he had loved her, that he wanted her but at this moment he knew with total certainty that he could never have her. God knows that the selfish side of him wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and keep her to himself for eternity but someone with her passion and grace never deserved to be caged, he knew that the world would be a less beautiful place without her out in it for everyone to know that there really were angels on earth. It took everything he had ever had to turn and walk out the door. But he did. She walked to the window and he turned and looked at her once more and smiled. He was happy to just love her anything else would seem too much. He turned and walked down the street as Lexie could do nothing but watch him go. "Good bye Robert." She whispered.