The others had wanted help again with more boxes. Misao and I had missed some in the attic and so that's where we ended up. I glanced over at Misao realising she had grabbed a large box and she never saw the other box lying on the ground so she tripped over scrapping her knees on the wooden floorboards and the contents of the box scattered everywhere.
"Are you okay Misao?" I spoke walking over to her and helping her up. She dusted her usual outfit off and walked over to the spilled contents.
"Fantastic we can wrap some fragile stuff in this cloth." I turned looking at the "cloth" she was holding and watched as she pulled out one of her kunai's ready to cut it up. My eyes widened noticing what it was and I moved my hand in front of the blade and spoke.
"Don't!" It was a little bit of a delay and Misao ended up cutting the back of my right hand. I watched her gasp dropping the kunai and the cloth looking up at me with frightened eyes. She made it seem like a fatal wound and it was just a shallow cut.
"Misao it's alright, nothing major." I spoke and she soon loosened up and spoke back.
"But why? Why'd you get in the way?" I found a cloth in my trench coat pocket wiping the blood off my hand and soon grabbed the small blanket.
"This…this is yours." I spoke placing it in Misao's hands.
"I had bought this for you in the city. Winter nights where getting colder and so I wanted to make sure you would be all right. I'd wrap you up in it every night making you feel very snug, which is the way you liked it. Even during the day you took it everywhere with you. You were too big for it when you where four but you still took it everywhere." I felt rather embarrassed after saying that but I watched Misao fold it up placing it to the side as though wanting to keep it.
I picked up a folded piece of paper and opened it up looking at the drawing inside. There were two bigger stick figures at the front of a building, which I think was the Aoiya. A few more figures lingered around at the windows and some patrolled the grounds and then there were six small stick figures in the front yard as well. I noticed my name had been written on this and I handed it to Misao and watched her eyes widen in shock.
"I remember this. I made this for you when I was about 5 but I lost it and cried for a couple of days. I remember you and Hannya tried to make me feel better but I still missed this picture so much."
"Why for Misao?" I watched as she placed it in my hands pointing at the all the stick figures explaining who they are.
"The ones in the windows are of Okina, Omasu, Shiro, Kuro and Okon. That's Hannya, Beshimi, Hyotokko and Shijuksho patrolling the area making sure its safe for the Oniwabanshuu and the six small children playing in the front yard."
"Children?" I questioned looking up at her. I watched her cheeks turn a slight pinkish red and she soon spoke pointing to the main stick figures that were holding hands.
"That is you and me. Those children are ours…" I chuckled slightly and Misao soon grabbed the picture from me folding it up and placing it in her shirt. She was a little embarrassed and began picking up the stuff that fell out of the box and placing it back inside.
"You've thought about this for a long time haven't you Misao?" I spoke looking over at her. Her eyes turned to look at me and they held anger in them. Anger towards me. I watched as she stood up taking the small blanket with her and she spoke with all the emotion in her heart.
"Of course I have Aoshi! You have been in my life like no one else. My parents died leaving me with the others and you. Then you left taking Hannya and the others with you, leaving me behind. I understand why you had left too! I just felt betrayed, jinxed even because no one wanted to stay with me. I cried every night wanting you to tuck me into my blankets. I tried running away wanting to find you and yet I was not good enough and was always found. I thought I finally found the reason why you weren't here and I realised that maybe you were out there waiting for me to come to you. When I hit 16 I was out of the Aoiya and searching for any trace of you and the others. I was a month off at locating you and that hurt. My heart broke when I couldn't find you and then I met Kenshin, I made him promise to bring you back and he did! I don't know how I'll ever repay him for that. When you came back, I felt I had been blessed. Everyone had left me but you had returned and you hadn't been taken away from me. My Aoshi-sama had come back to me, his Misao, only you didn't want me around. My heart has been hurt so many times that I have lost count. I never gave up on you, ever! You gave up on yourself! You had shut yourself up from the only person who saw one hundred percent goodness in you. ME! You shut me out! I've seen you at your worst and I'm still here waiting for you to come home, to come back to me! I know you know why I'm waiting Aoshi because you are my other half. You may think I'm being naïve but throughout all the pain I have had in my life I know one thing is for sure and that's how much I love you. I hate when you ignore me. I hate it when you don't speak to me and I hate the way you lock yourself up at the temple thinking that's going to make you feel better. Its not though, being here at the Aoiya, with people who love you, that's what will make you forgive yourself and that's what will make you move on. Even though you are so frustrating to be around and I don't know what you are going through or thinking about it doesn't matter to me, just as long as you're here. I have loved you my entire life and that will never stop because I'll love you forever." I watched as she bolted from the attic running downstairs and I made my way over to the window watching her form sprint into the forest. I let out a frustrated sigh and kicked the box, the contents falling out once more.
"Aoshi-san what are you doing? I heard yelling…Wait, where's Misao-chan gone?" I looked at the door noticing Okon was standing there. I placed my hand up silencing her from saying anything else and walked swiftly passed her, down the stairs and out the already opened door and ran into the forest.
The only place I could ever think where Misao would go was either the swing Hannya and I made for her or a small hide out we found near the river. I picked the swing first sprinting my way through the forest and came to a small clearing with one large tree in the centre of it. I was right and sighed in relief seeing Misao slouched on the swing. She held the blanket to her chest, as she shivered slightly at the coldness of the breeze and I walked over squatting in front of her and spoke.
"I don't think that'll keep you very warm." I watched her head lift up, those red eyes looking down at me and my heart hurt seeing how vulnerable she was. I sighed placing my right hand on her knee and soon spoke.
"I'm sorry Misao." I watched as she took a few deep breaths and spoke.
"It's alright Aoshi."
"No it isn't Misao. It's never been all right. Not when it comes to you feeling hurt. I have been the cause of it all." I quickly placed my fingers to her lips and spoke again.
"Don't even think about butting in either. I know you feel hurt at your parents leaving you, and when you were so young as well. I know it hurt when I left and took the others as well. I wanted to wake you up so I could see those blue eyes one last time but I couldn't do it. I became…scared knowing that if I went and saw you I wouldn't have left. I know it hurt when you found out about Hannya and the others, about their deaths and that they had left as well. I just want you to know I'm not going to. I won't leave you alone, never again." I watched as tears fell down Misao cheeks and she fell to the grass hugging me and weeping into my chest. It's time to make things right, I have given her too much pain, now she'll only know happiness. I wrapped my arms around her and soon whispered into her ear.
"I'll tell you everything Misao, but can we go back home, it's warmer there." I heard Misao's gasp leave her lips and she let go standing up helping me up as well and she nodded her head. I took my coat off wrapping it securely around her and we walked back to the Aoiya.
xxxxxxx
I finally lay down on my futon in my old room. It was strange being back in the Aoiya, but it felt good as well. I was home.
Misao had only left about an hour ago after listening to everything I spoke about. After all this time I felt better at sharing it with someone but this just wasn't anyone, it was Misao, my…wife-to-be.
I had promised her that I'd take her to see the others. I guess it really wasn't that far from here, maybe a day at the most. I had said we'd sneak off, not telling the others where we are going and have them freak out. Misao thought it was mean but a few seconds latter she agreed. Her heart was filled with joy as I had opened myself up to her.
I closed my eyes wanting to sleep but am alerted when my shoji door slid open. The presence is well known and I keep quiet not opening my eyes as Misao begins to walk closer. I can hear the rustling of her clothing as she bends down to look at me.
"Aoshi are you awake?" I keep silent not saying a word and soon felt the pressure of Misao's fingers brush across my forehead, down my left cheek and stop at my lips. My heartbeat was heavy now as I could feel her soft breath brushing over my face. What was she doing? I am soon frozen in time, my eyes snapping open as Misao's soft lips have been placed on mine. Her eyes were closed and I watched them flutter slightly and snapped my eyes shut. My mind had turned to mush and I wasn't able to respond to her kiss. I soon felt a piece of paper being placed into my hand and heard the shoji door close as Misao left the room.
I opened my eyes unfolding the piece of paper, placing it in the moonlight and noticed it was her picture we found in the attic. I smiled looking at it and soon folded it up placing it down beside me and closed my eyes thinking of how smooth her lips were and how right it felt to have them placed against mine.
xxxxxxx
My senses began to kick in knowing sunrise was coming soon. I could feel a presence beside me and the smell of tea was near.
"Misao? What are you doing in here?" I spoke opening my eyes to stare up at her. She was wearing her day clothes, but replaced her shorts with some long pants and had a long sleeved coat over her usual shirt. She was holding the cup close to her lips taking a sip and soon began making another one for myself as I sat up awaiting her reason of why she was in here.
"Well I thought today we could go see them." Misao had whispered passing me a cup of tea. I took a few sips and soon nodded my head in agreement. I really couldn't put it off any longer. I watched as Misao stood up collecting the now empty cups and whispered once more.
"I'll meet you out the back." I nodded and watched as she left the room. I got up changing into me day clothes and placed my coat on as well. It was pretty cold; no wander Misao had opted for warmer clothes. I left the room silently and walked downstairs and out the back to see Misao was placing on her shoes. I did the same and we soon headed off.
xxxxxxx
We were now resting in the forest sitting down having some food and Misao was looking off into space, thinking about something. She hadn't said anything in our travelling so far and I guess I was becoming worried. This wasn't the usual Misao, but I know she's thinking of Hannya and the others. I noticed she had that secretive smile on her lips just like her mother and I knew exactly how Makimachi-sama felt. I wouldn't have a clue at what was going on inside her head. I watched as her gaze turned to me finally realising that I was staring at her and her smile widened.
"Have you finished Misao? We are nearly there." She nodded her head packing up some stuff and we soon headed off again.
xxxxxxx
Another hour must have passed as the small clearing was coming closer. I took a deep breath moving through the clearing and found the area covered in flowers. Storm clouds were beginning to roll in and I half watched them and half-watched Misao. I stood back as she began walking forward to the four headstones. I watched as she picked a different coloured flower each placing one on every stone and knowing who was who as she spoke their names.
"They died with honor Aoshi." Misao spoke softly still looking down at the stones.
"Did they?" I questioned back at her. She turned around walking towards me and wrapped her small hands around mine looking up at me.
"You're here. They saved you Aoshi. They protected you as their leader, as their friend and as their family, Oniwabanshuu through and through. Their deaths were terrible Aoshi but knowing that they saved you would have filled them with honor. They fulfilled their duties as Oniwabanshuu members, protecting their leader." I placed a small smile on my lips looking down at Misao. Seconds later that smile was gone and was replaced with a frown as I took my hands away and pulled out my kodachi's.
"Something's near." I spoke looking around but all I saw was darkness leading into the overgrown forest. Misao had placed her back to mine, bringing out her kunai's ready for action. She too looked around but saw nothing.
"Aoshi?" Misao had spoken in a whisper and soon the loudest crash of thunder was heard making Misao jump slightly. Rain poured down obscuring my view slightly and the wind had picked up whipping leaves and branches around. I could hear a faint cracking of some branches and turned around grabbing Misao and dived to the ground and watched as thick branches flew around by the force of the wind and crashed into other trees and then fell onto the ground behind us. I looked down finding I had pulled Misao under me, as her eyes were open wide, her pink lips slightly parted. I stood up taking her with me and soon yelled over the top of the rain so she could here me.
"WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE NOW!"
"BUT MY KUNAI!" Misao had replied as I made her drop them.
"I'LL GET YOU SOME NEW ONES." And with that spoken I grabbed her hand and raced off running through the trees dodging falling branches or jumping over ones that had already fallen onto the forest floor.
"AOSHI I CAN'T…WE NEED TO…FIND SOMEWHERE DRY!" Misao had spoken quite breathlessly as I dragged her along with me. There was only one area I could think of at this point and time and changed direction.
xxxxxxx
I pulled some leaves away ushering Misao into the hidden cave and finally sighed as we were out of the treacherous storm. I finally got accustomed to the darkness and located some old wood I had placed here years ago. I started a fire and the cave lit up in light. I watched as Misao quickly moved over and noticed her clothes were soaked through. I took off my trench coat as it had shielded my own clothes from the downpour. It was damp around my neck area and near my ankles but that was it. Misao shivered slightly and I untied my top taking it off and wordlessly handed it out for her to take. She stared silently at me and I watched as she hesitantly dropped her coat to the floor and her head was bowed as she untied her top. It fell off her shoulders giving me a quick view of her bound breasts and she slipped my shirt on tying it up and sighing happily about receiving my body heat. I placed my coat against a boulder hoping the heat from the fire would dry it quickly. I watched as Misao lay out her top and coat and I raised an eyebrow when she slipped her trousers off as well, lying them around the fire. My shirt fell loosely against her and stopped mid-way down her thighs. Those insanely long legs of hers glistened in the fire light from being soaked by the rain. We had fallen into complete silence as the rain fell hard against the cave and the wind howled outside.
Minutes passed by and I watched as Misao shivered slightly yet again. She had tucked her arms around her up drawn legs and rested her chin on her knees looking into the fire. She wasn't complaining but I knew she was freezing. I watched as her body shivered again and I felt my trench coat was now slightly damp on the outside but dry enough on the inside and placed it back on. I moved over to where Misao was sitting and soon sat behind her wrapping my arms and legs around her small form shielding her in my coat and giving her my body heat. She had gasped surprised but shifted slightly so her legs curled out to the side, but still under the coat and she rested her head against my chest.
"Better?" I had mumbled into her ear and she soon whispered back snuggling in closer.
"Hai Aoshi, so much better…" We fell into silence as I could feel Misao's steady breathing as she was probably falling asleep. I had pulled her closer silently telling her it was all right to relax against me. Her upper body slumped lazy against mine one of her hands snaking around my waist holding me as well.
"How'd you know where this place was?" She had mumbled trying to strike up a conversation.
"When in danger or thinking you are in danger this place is very good to hide in. Hannya and I found this year's ago and thought it could be used when and if it was necessary on missions. It is pretty big after all." I spoke back.
"Aoshi?" She had spoken again ready to ask another question.
"What is it Misao?"
"Do you…care for me?" I took a deep breath knowing the real question behind that. Did I love her? I care for her deeply, but was I ready to love her and to receive love from her?
"I do care for you Misao. How can you ask such a thing?" I spoke back hoping she'd make it simpler for me. I watched as she shifted again her face lifting up and her eyes looking straight into mine.
"I don't mean the way you care for me when I was Misao-chan. I want to know if…if…never mind…it was silly of me to ask such a thing." I watched as she turned away, settling back into the embrace but not saying anything more. I know she desperately wants to find out my true feelings but I'm not sure what they are myself.
"You want to know if I love you? Is that what you are trying to ask me Misao?" I spoke softly into her ear. She nodded her head not being able to look up at me and I spoke looking into the fire.
"I don't know Misao. I don't mean to hurt your feelings its just I don't know. What is love? Is it merely an attraction? Does it run deeper then that? Love has so many meanings that I am not sure about what I feel. I have feelings Misao, I just don't know how far they go or how far they'll reach you. I've been trying to work them out but it seems as though a wall has been placed in the way and I am unable to climb over it or break it down."
"I understand Aoshi. Leaders were not meant to show feelings or emotions. That's why I am not leader material. Everything I feel and every emotion can be displayed through my eyes. You've seen it when I was younger and even now it occurs as well. You have had a hard life. There was no childhood for you, as it was all training, missions and taking care of me. You've shed so much pain for many years now and its time for you to forgive yourself and move on."
"I know…I have been here for many years experiencing things…things I never want you to go through or see." I felt my head being turned and made eye contact with Misao as she is smiling softly up at me.
"Don't even start with this 'old' business Aoshi. I don't care about age and I don't care what anyone else would think. Your not old to me, you've just lived a longer and more eventful life then myself. It's time for a change Aoshi. Time for you to realise that you deserve some happiness and realise that someone is going to be there for you, that person is sitting right in front of you. She knows you've had it ruff and she knows you had a dark side to you but that's okay. She'll wait forever. If it means being around you, even when you are still saddened she'll feel happy and blessed that her Aoshi is still going to be here, still going to watch over her." I close my eyes hugging Misao to me once more and spoke quietly into her ear.
"Thank you Misao…for everything. Now rest, we have a long wait." I felt her nod her head and she snuggled in closer sighing contently and falling asleep in mere seconds.
xxxxxxx
Hours had passed as the moonlight filtered through the gaps in the cave entrance. The storm had passed. The fire had gone out but my warmth with Misao's made it bearable. She was snuggled so closely to me, a small smile spread over her lips as her head was tilted up looking at me even though those ocean blue eyes were closed. I smiled down at her brushing my fingers through her damp hair and pressed my lips to hers softly wanting to feel them against mine once more. I chuckled lightly pulling away when a disorientated groan escaped her lips as I was disturbing her sleep.
"That's not fair…" I heard her whisper. I looked down watching her eyes open and they sparkled in the moonlight. I gave her a confused look and she spoke once again.
"You say you care for me but aren't sure about love and then you kiss me and I wasn't able to respond." I took a deep breath and soon spoke wanting to embarrass her just for old time's sake.
"Well you kissed me the other night and I wasn't able to respond." A gasp escaped her lips as she went rigid in my embrace.
"Y-you knew?" She had spoken in a small whisper and I replied back.
"I am a ninja Misao, never underestimate my skills. I was leader of the Oniwabanshuu after all."
"B-but why didn't you stop me? You can push me away whenever you please. Where as when you kiss me…I can't…I won't…" I knew she had turned her head away from me feeling embarrassed about saying that and I soon spoke.
"I won't push you away Misao. Not anymore, I can't, my heart won't let me hurt you again." I watched her eyes come back into view and she spoke once more wrapping her arms around my waist and placing her head against my chest.
"You do have feelings for me only they aren't ready to be known yet."
"Hai…" I had replied in a slight whisper.
"Its okay…I'll wait…I'll wait forever…" And she was sleeping once again. I closed my eyes my heart swelling for an unknown reason. Maybe it was because of Misao. After all she is waiting for me and she'll wait forever too. She'll be with no one else, no other lover, just wanting me. I smiled down at her placing a kiss into her hair. Just you wait Misao, my feelings will be known sooner then you think. I spoke inwardly holding my future wife closely to me.
Xx TBC xX
