I wake up slowly. Ugh. Morning sucks. I glance at the clock, noting clinically that I have time for at least three cups before leaving to get my coffee at the stand on the corner.
Smiling, I walk out of my room slowly, not smelling the coffee Paris usually remembers to put on. "Coffee?" I ask her head carefully.
"I went to put it on, but you're out. Please don't hurt me, I swear there was a can and a half yesterday."
I crinkle my face in disgust. "There was." I mutter, grabbing my coat. "I'll be back to get dressed later."
"I know."
I head out the door and stop short when I see the crowd gathered at the stand. "What do you mean you're out of coffee?" a student near the front of the line yells.
Did he just say out of coffee?
"I'm really sorry guys! I don't know what happened! My delivery got delayed, they can't get out until tomorrow."
I feel a tugging sensation at the base of my spine. Not possible. I dismiss the feeling quickly, hurrying to the closest coffee shop, freezing when I see the sign. Closed for renovations. Further down the road, each coffee shop has a different sign. Flood damage, electrical malfunctions. "Gone fishing?" I read carefully. "Gone fishing?" I run my fingers through my hair. "What the hell is going on?" I mutter darkly, turning away from the shop only to see one of them walking in the direction of the philosophy department. I'll kill him. No. Too easy. I'm gonna castrate the little shit. I walk up to him and turn him to face me. "What did he do?"
He winces. "To whom are we referring?" he asks carefully.
"Don't fuck with my mind Finn. What did he do?"
"I'm not precisely sure, I wasn't privy to a large portion of the logistics since I'm generally the easiest to crack under pressure."
I shove him up against the nearest tree. "Good to know. Where is he?"
"I'm thinking it's not entirely prudent for me to tell you that when you're quite this murderous princess."
I grab his hair and pull his face down near mine. "Finn, I swear on my mother if you don't take me to him soon, you'll never please another woman for the rest of your god-given life."
I feel him stiffen. "Right this way princess." He places his arm around my shoulders and leads me back in the direction of the dorms. When we arrive at the door I take his key from him and fling open the door.
"You stupid little troll! Where are you?" I scream, flinging open one of the bedroom doors to reveal Colin and Stephanie. "Where is he?" I ask sharply as they scramble to cover up.
"He's heading out the door." Colin offers carefully.
I turn to face him. "You! You are an obsequious, coffee stealing mongrel! How dare you perpetrate such a crime on the student body! Coffee is the blood that runs through our veins to sustain us!"
I stalk closer as he backs slowly into the farthest bedroom from the door. "Okay Ace, you remember how I said angry works for you? Definitely better in small doses."
"How dare you! It's sacrilege!" I move closer, and feel a surge of power as he steps back again, nearly tripping this time.
"Sacrilege? Come on. It was a joke, not sacrilege. Its just coffee." He's still backing up.
"Just coffee? Just coffee? You stupid, small-minded, evil -
I freeze as my cell begins ringing the tune from Star Wars. Mom. "Yes?" I ask as calmly as I can.
"Luke is out of coffee. I am out of coffee. Taylor is out of coffee. The inn is out of coffee. Even Al is out of coffee. There is no coffee left in Stars Hollow." Her voice mutters darkly.
"You wouldn't have dared." I whisper darkly at him.
"Sweets, who are you talking to?"
"In a second mom." I narrow my eyes at him. "Where is it?"
He sighs. "It's gone." He offers.
"Where. Is. It. Now? My mother has been on a steady diet of eight cups a day since before I was born. May I point out that when I was born no one knew coffee was bad for a baby? Where is the coffee?" I nearly dance as he cringes a bit.
"There's a place called Java Hut in Hartford that has coffee."
I lift the phone slowly, keeping eye contact with him. "Mom, go to the Java Hut in Hartford."
"Why do I have to go all the way to Hartford for coffee?"
"I'll explain tonight"
"This is because of that boy, isn't it? And that prank war you're in. Your next target is his cash flow."
"I understand." I tell her calmly, ending the call. I point the phone at him. "There will be fresh brewed, hot coffee delivered to her every morning for the next six months. At least four cups. Nine AM. No exceptions, the coffee will even arrive steaming hot on Christmas and New Year's. She will have a supply of fresh ground coffee delivered once a week to the Dragonfly Inn in Stars Hollow, no charge, for that same length of time. Is that understood? This is the only way she will not hunt you down for the travesty you have perpetrated."
He nods slowly. "I'll make the arrangements today."
"Good boy." I point at the door. "You're taking me to the Java Hut in Hartford."
"I have class." He has class? Class? There is no way he is going to class.
"So did I, now you have a coffee expedition."
"Aren't you going to threaten me with retribution?" he asks carefully as he grabs his jacket.
I move closer to him, and whisper softly in his ear. "Retribution is nowhere near what I have planned for you my dear, sweet boy, and if you don't get your keys soon, I'll make your life a living hell from now until you graduate." He's not supposed to smell that good.
"Coffee run?" he asks softly, locking his eyes with mine.
Damn. If only he didn't look so sorry. "Good plan. By the way, you have an appointment tonight." I add quickly, to cover up the shudder that nearly runs through me with his gaze.
He smiles. "With who?"
"Three generations of Gilmore girls. Grandpa is out of town this week, and you have an apology to make to my mother." I turn away and hurry out the door, smiling to myself at the look of horror on his face.
