CHAPTER FIVE
-Two months later-
Mara trudged through the forest carrying a water-skin for the third time that day, each step feeling heavier than the one before. Exhausted, she slumped against a tree, sliding down its trunk to sit and catch her breath. Almost half the colony's population had fallen ill with the mysterious fever, and just last night they had buried the first of what she feared would be a long list of casualties. Reaching up, she began to massage her temples. A gentle flutter in her abdomen caught her attention.
"It's all right," she sighed, "It'll be all right." Things are different this time, she thought. Not like last time. The memories of that night flooded into her mind like a tidal wave. Almost one year ago now…
Luke was lying
beside her on the bed in their Coruscant apartment. She was four
months pregnant.
"I know," she turned to face Luke. "If it's a boy, we can name him after Karrde, since he's partially responsible for getting us together. Talon Skywalker."
Luke laughed out loud, "I don't think so. Actually, it was Child of Winds, who made me start thinking about how I felt about you."
"There you go," she said. "We'll name him or her 'Child of Jedi.'" Laughing, they embraced and grew quiet. Mara looked thoughtful, "When was that?"
Luke paused and smiled, "It was after I put you in that healing trance. Child of Winds called you my 'beloved companion.' At first I thought he'd taken one too many blows to the beak, but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was true." He shrugged and looked over at her, "What about you?"
"Hmmm," she sighed. "In the cave, fighting the sentinels. I'd never felt anything like that before." She looked deeply into Luke's eyes, "And I knew that I'd never want to feel it with anyone else."
Luke reached out and caressed her cheek. "If we're having a girl," he whispered, "I hope she looks just like you."
Mara smiled, "Only if she can have a shaggy-haired little brother to beat up on-" She froze.
Luke sat up, "What?"
She looked up, a strange expression on her face, "The baby moved. Just now."
"Really?"
"Yes!" she grabbed his hand and placed it on her barely-bulging abdomen, "Be still."
Luke held
perfectly still, concentrating. A few minutes later he was rewarded
by a gentle thump under the palm of his
hand. "Well, I'll be Kesseled…" A huge, silly grin spread
across his face as he leaned down and roughly kissed his wife. "By
the Force, Mara. We're having a baby!"
It was her turn to laugh – a laugh that turned into a yawn. "And, of course, he or she wakes up just in time for me to sleep." Lying down again, Luke gathered her into his arms. Together, they joined hands and placed them on her belly. It had become their nightly ritual to join through the Force and reach out to the new little life, as if singing a lullaby. They felt the rapid heartbeat and the tiny presence resting warm and content, comforted by the stronger heartbeat just above it. Eventually, all three of them fell asleep.
Luke heard the cry of anguish and was out of bed sprinting across the apartment before he was even awake. Mara was bending over the basin in the fresher, pale and soaked in perspiration. "Something's wrong," she gasped. Luke stared in horror at the pool of blood forming around her feet, "Help me-"
Suddenly, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. He felt the wrenching onset of pain and nausea that wracked her body and lurched forward to catch her as she fell.
"No!" he lowered her to the floor, "Oh no." He placed a blood-soaked hand over the baby, reached out through the Force and felt…silence. Mara's eyes desperately searched his face. Paralyzed by shock and grief, he could only shake his head.
The next night, Luke stood at the counter numbly stirring two cups of hot chocolate. Over and over again the doctor's words echoed through his head: "fetal demise," "cause unknown," "nothing could be done," "I am sorry." Luke walked slowly to the bedroom. Mara wasn't there. Irritated, he set the drinks down on the table. She was supposed to be in bed.
He found her sitting on the floor in the middle of what would have been the baby's room. She was hunched over, clutching a soft fleece blanket that was decorated with little X-wings. It had been a gift from Wedge and Iella only a few short weeks ago. Her shoulders trembled as he knelt down beside her. He pulled her close, stroking her hair as tears streamed down her face and onto his tunic. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Luke, I'm so sorry."
He pulled back just enough to raise her eyes to his and spoke slowly, "It wasn't your fault." Tears clouded his eyes and choked his voice, "The doctor said that it just happens sometimes. It wasn't anything you did, love." She buried her face once again in his shoulder. "It just happens."
"Why couldn't it have been me?" she murmured. Why-" her voice cracked.
Luke grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back to arms length, "No! Don't you ever say that! Your death could not have saved our child. What if something did happen to you, or us? Do you want our children growing up orphans…like we did? Don't you ever think that again! Promise me," his eyes bore into hers. "Promise me!" he almost shouted.
Mara nodded, in shock, "I promise." She looked down at the blanket wadded up in her hands, "It's just that –" she stopped, sobs shaking her entire body.
"I know," Luke whispered, tears streaming down his face. "I know." He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her silently in his embrace. They stayed there on the floor the rest of the night, both grieving the loss that was too profound for words…
A familiar voice snapped Mara's thoughts back to the present. She lifted her head off the tree trunk to find Sorada was standing over her. It was raining and Mara was completely soaked, raindrops mingling with the tears flowing down her cheeks. Sorada knelt in front of her, "You…sick?"
Mara smiled weakly, "No, it is not the fever." She pulled her outer tunic aside to reveal the softly rounded belly beneath. The older female's eyes grew wide with understanding.
Sorada sat down in the mud beside the tree trunk and brushed a loose strand of hair away from Mara's face. "Your…mate. He will…come for you."
Mara fought back a fresh wave of tears, "He does not know where I am. And he does not know about the baby." Sorada tilted her head in confusion. "I did not know that I was expecting a child when I saw him last," she answered.
They sat for another moment in silence before Sorada pulled herself to her feet. "Come," she held out her hand. "You should…be dry." Mara stood slowly and picked up the water-skin. They walked in silence back to her hut.
To be continued…
