Disclaimer I'm getting so bored of writing these every damn time... So once again I do not own... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
A/N As promised, chapter 10. Ah... remember the good old days when I said "I'm looking for 4-5 chapters tops"? And then remember the "I guess it's looking to be more 9-10 chapters" Yes... well... As you might have guessed from that I just write chapters as I think of 'em, and I've done a brief plan of the rest of the chapters, and so now it'll prolly be nearer counts on fingers 27 chapters. Lol... and it'll prolly end up more than that anyway... so be prepared for a long read my friends... walks away muttering – 4 to 5 chapters my ass... I don't think I even know enough words to be able to fill 17 more chapters with...
Enjoy!
Closeted Secrets
Eddy's hand reached out to Double D. He watched his friend's face as he looked at the gesture that had been presented to him - as though he were trying to establish it's validity - and tried to analyse every movement, every slight change in expression to try and determine what his pale friend was going to do. A feeling of immense dread began to build in the bottom of Eddy's stomach. He wasn't sure why he was here, he didn't know why he was suddenly so tense when he looked at Double D, and he didn't know why he was trying to get him to take his hand. But he did know that the feeling of urgency was something that could not be ignored, and so it took all of his fortitude to wait for his friend's reaction.
Eddy never had been very patient.
Tired of his best friend's hesitance, he moved forward and shot his arm out in an attempt to grasp Double D's hand. If Double D could not make the decision, Eddy would have to make it for him. A look of shock worked it's way onto Double D's face before Eddy felt an invisible and unknown force begin to try and tear him away from his friend. Eddy tried to fight it. Tried to grasp onto the taller boy's hand tighter so that he would not be carried away, desperately begged and pleaded for his friend to help him. But Double D did nothing. He did not try and restrain Eddy from falling, and yet neither did he try and pry his friend away from him. He just stood there, a passive being, void of emotion. Eddy screamed as he attempted one last stand of resilience, before he felt himself falling into the darkness that had been drawing him in.
Morning light broke through the clouds and streamed through the window of Eddy's bedroom, illuminating the purple bed sheets that surrounded the blonde as he tried to make sense of the dream that had left it's impression lingering through his thoughts. He blinked and yawned in an attempt to rouse his mind. He clumsily fumbled to hit the button of his alarm clock, which was incessantly ringing, and paused, shocked when his fingers brushed against something wet that lay in a pool on his bedside table. He brought his fingers before his eyes, examining the clear liquid before memories of how the lava lamp, that now lay shattered around him, had been reduced to a lake of wax and glass shards. His gaze drifted to the floor, where the familiar black, striped hat lay strewn. He crawled out of bed and reached out to grasp the object in his hands, turning it over, as if to determine whether it was simply an illusion or the true confirmation of his reality. Suddenly Eddy could not deny the desperate pleas that flooded his mind, pleas to let everything he feared have been just a chimera, a nightmare which, although haunted his own mind, would not withhold anything of substance in the real world. Not with such damning evidence that the guilt and pain was so thoroughly deserved.
Without warning Eddy's fists became tense, balling the hat between his hands and throwing it to the closet standing on the other side of the room. An angry flush began to blossom over his cheeks and the tears that had begun to blur his vision had now been replaced with blind fury. Anger. It was so familiar to Eddy. Whenever he felt weak, or insecure, his immediate reaction was to lash out. Anger came so easily to him and meant that no one could see his real feelings. No one could see the hurt and the guilt behind such a resilient façade.
He hoisted himself from the floor and began pacing the room, stalking angrily from one side to the other with large, threatening strides. This wasn't his fault. No. It was Kevin's fault. All Kevin's fault. It was his stupid idea. His insatiable urge for power that had driven Eddy to this point. His pathetic blackmail that had forced Eddy into it. How he hated Kevin. Bitter, twisted and intense loathing. He stood in front of the closet where Kevin was supposedly hiding the night before and punched the door viciously. The impact caused a chain reaction as the door swung into the wall, sending a slight tremor that was enough to disturb the photo frame, that had already been hanging dangerously at an angle due to recent events, so that it fell from it's perch and plummeted to the ground, the glass shattering upon contact with the floorboards.
Eddy ceased his relentless pacing and walked to pick up the frame. He brushed the tiny shards of broken glass away, not caring about the abrasions that the sharp edges created as he swept his hand over them, and focused on the photograph. When he had gazed at it the night before it had bought him slight comfort, a trivial moment of nostalgia as he thought back to how things used to be. But now, now the portrait of the three boys just reminded him of everything he had lost. He fixed his eyes on Double D. When the photo was taken Eddy had thought that everything in his life was perfect. That Double D had everything. Brains, compassion, friends who cared for him and a family that loved him. How could Eddy have not seen the truth? He too had hidden secrets from his best friend, but somehow Double D was so empathic, so perceptive of his friend, that he already knew. Why wasn't Eddy able to return that? Why had he not seen the pain, the suffering and the distress that Double D was hiding everyday? However, now that the evidence had been so brazenly laid out before him. Now that he could clearly see the image of every bruise, every mark on his friend's body, it all made such perfect sense. How had he been so blind?
The anger rushing around his body had subsided now. Only to be replaced with yet more sorrow and guilt. Anger had been able to carry him through his problems in the past, but this was bigger, more intense than anything he had ever felt before, and the familiar feelings of rage were no longer enough to withstand the overwhelming guilt. Eddy knew that he needed to apologise to him, though he neither knew how to say it nor what he should apologise for first. The betrayal, his actions last night, his neglect as a friend. Sweeping the last tears from his eyes he bent to retrieve the hat that he had thrown to the floor and stepped out of the room, letting the cold morning air embrace him. He would not head right over to Double D's house. He did not want to risk saying anything he might regret whilst still suffering the aftershock of the anger that had flooded him, and so he instead made his way slowly to Ed's home. He knew there was a slight chance that Double D would have returned there last night, but doubted that he would have stayed until morning. Ed's bedroom was anything but sanitary to anyone, and to the neurosis – prone Double D the place was practically a phobia.
He walked out of his back garden just in time to see two silhouettes at Kevin's window, but thought nothing of it. He had more pressing things on his mind than Kevin, but before he could tackle his problems he needed a chance to calm down, an opportunity to receive a little encouragement from his larger friend. He needed the support.
This was the most difficult thing he had ever had to face in his life.
Wheee! Chapter 10! Short and sweet, but still, I hope you liked – and if you did please review!!! Chapter 11 will be up soon and, as always, thank you for all your lovely reviews both for this story and 'The winner takes it all'. Till next time mateys!
