"Sorry for the interruption." Dr. Fitzpatrick said as he hung up the phone
on his desk and walked back over to where Lexie sat waiting. "So where were
we?" He looked down at his notes. "You were talking about what caused you
and Robert to separate." Lexie nodded. "Please go on."
"I guess I never really expected him to let me leave. I guess I expected that the love that is between us would be enough to hold us together and would always be enough to see us through any situation."
"And now you find that not to be the case?" Lexie nodded. "You were telling me about the your attack. How did that affect your relationship?"
"It seemed to bring us closer together. Robert seemed to only focus on making sure that Max, the baby and I were safe. He did everything he could to help Max settle into our home. And Max seemed to take everything in stride and adjusted pretty smoothly. I took a few weeks off to rest and for a time everything seemed to be working."
"And then something changed?" She nodded.
"He started coming home later and later at night. And he never seemed to smile anymore. I tried to talk to him about it but he would always tell me that everything was fine when I could see that it clearly wasn't."
"And you mentioned something about his drinking. How did that play into the relationship?"
"He had slowed down considerably. And then it started to be an issue again. He would start to drink when he got home and would have his last drink before he went to bed. Before he would drink but he would never get drunk. And then he started coming home drunker and drunker each night until it got to the point that it scared me that he was driving. So I put my foot down. Either he stops the drinking and try to get help or I would leave. I wasn't going to raise my children in that environment."
Dr. Fitzpatrick nodded. "How was his temperament through out it all? Did he get angry or violent?"
"He never got violent but he would blow up at me or Max occasionally. Usually it was over something stupid but it would set him off."
"Give me an example."
"How about the night we left him?" The doctor nodded
Lexie sat at the kitchen table sipping a glass of juice. Dinner had been ready for over an hour and there had still not been any sign of Robert. He had started coming home later and later and she was getting tired of it. He was drinking more and more and she was starting to worry. She put her hand on her enlarged belly and sighed. This wasn't Robert. This wasn't the man that she had loved for so many years. He was a man that was falling apart silently and she had no idea how to save him. She heard his car pull into the garage and she took a deep breath. She had no idea which Robert she would have the pleasure of spending the evening with.
He walked in and set his briefcase down on the table. "Hey." He mumbled and she closed her eyes for a second. It would be angry, drunk Robert.
"You ready for dinner?" Lexie asked as she pulled herself out of the chair.
"I figured you would have already eaten." He had a slight slur in his words. She shook her head.
"We were waiting for you." He nodded and walked into the living room to the bar and poured himself a drink. "Don't you think that maybe you have had enough?" He turned and glared at her.
"I don't really remember asking for your opinion on the subject." She raised her eyebrows at him.
"I didn't think I needed an invitation to express my opinion."
He took a drink. "Yeah well, maybe it would be nice if just once you would keep your opinion to yourself."
She turned around and walked into the kitchen to get Max some dinner.
"Daddy!" Max yelled as he ran into the kitchen and into Robert's arms. Max was so desperate for a family that he had taken to calling them mommy and daddy and Lexie wasn't sure that was a good idea or not. She didn't want him to forget Sara but she did want him to feel like this was his home now. Robert set him down and Max looked up at him with sad eyes. That was what always broke Lexie's heart. When Robert was in a good mood he would spend hours with Max. They would play or Robert would tell Max stories but when he was in a pissy mood he would treat him like an annoyance.
They sat down to dinner and no one talked. The tension was almost palpable and Lexie wanted to scream just to break the quiet. Max decided to do that for her. His little hand reached for his milk and the glass tipped, smashing as it hit the table and milk ran everywhere.
"Fuck!" Robert yelled as he leaped up. The milk had run off the table and on to his pants. Lexie closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands.
"What is wrong with you? Why can't you do anything right?" He yelled at Max who started to sniff back the tears. Max leaped off his chair and ran upstairs. Lexie just looked at Robert with shock on her face and got up and went after him. Robert walked away from the table to his study slamming the door behind him.
Lexie knocked softly on Max's door and walked in. He was lying on his bed crying. She walked over and pulled him into her arms. "Shhh, it is ok." Max sniffed back his tears.
"I sorry. I be better if that what Daddy want." She shook her head.
"No, you should try to be more careful but Daddy was wrong to yell at you like that." Max looked up at her with big eyes.
"Is this when Daddy hits you?" Lexie's heart shattered.
"No, this Daddy won't ever hit. No matter what happens."
Lexie sat with Max until he cried himself to sleep then she tucked him in and shut his door as she left the room. She walked into the master bedroom and Robert was lying on the bed.
"Lexie, I ." She cut him off.
"No, Robert. You listen to me." She was still facing away from him. "I don't know what is going on with you and God knows that you won't let me in to try to help. So you have chosen to deal with this yourself and I think it is time that you start dealing with it the right way and not by drinking yourself into a coma every night and treating us like shit every day. If you want to destroy your life there is nothing that I can do to change that." She turned to face him and he saw more anger and hurt in her eyes than he ever imagined he would. "But if you ever talk to our children like that again I swear to God that will be the last time you have the chance to. That little boy is so lost and confused and all he wants is for us to love him. Do you know that he just asked me if this is when you hit me? Do you!?" Robert looked down. He felt terrible. No that didn't begin to describe how he was feeling.
"You have a choice to make Robert. You can choose the bottle or us. I am not going to raise them like this. I am not going to raise them in fear. So take all the time you need to figure out what you want."
"Well for one I would like you to be less dramatic. So I have a few drinks every once and a while, big deal. You have everything that you want. Why can't you just shut up and let me have the one comfort that I have left." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He was angry with himself and with her, but mostly at himself. She turned around and walked out the door to their bedroom slamming it behind her.
"And then you left?"
She shook her head. "No, I slept in the guest room that night and he was gone when I woke up. I packed our stuff and Max and I went to my Grandmother's house."
"Has he tried to get in touch with you since then?"
"No, it has been almost two weeks and I haven't heard a word from him." The psychologist nodded.
"I hate to do this but our time is up Lexie. We will get into this in more depth next time." She nodded. They stood and she made another appointment before she left and drove to her Grandmother house again.
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"I guess I never really expected him to let me leave. I guess I expected that the love that is between us would be enough to hold us together and would always be enough to see us through any situation."
"And now you find that not to be the case?" Lexie nodded. "You were telling me about the your attack. How did that affect your relationship?"
"It seemed to bring us closer together. Robert seemed to only focus on making sure that Max, the baby and I were safe. He did everything he could to help Max settle into our home. And Max seemed to take everything in stride and adjusted pretty smoothly. I took a few weeks off to rest and for a time everything seemed to be working."
"And then something changed?" She nodded.
"He started coming home later and later at night. And he never seemed to smile anymore. I tried to talk to him about it but he would always tell me that everything was fine when I could see that it clearly wasn't."
"And you mentioned something about his drinking. How did that play into the relationship?"
"He had slowed down considerably. And then it started to be an issue again. He would start to drink when he got home and would have his last drink before he went to bed. Before he would drink but he would never get drunk. And then he started coming home drunker and drunker each night until it got to the point that it scared me that he was driving. So I put my foot down. Either he stops the drinking and try to get help or I would leave. I wasn't going to raise my children in that environment."
Dr. Fitzpatrick nodded. "How was his temperament through out it all? Did he get angry or violent?"
"He never got violent but he would blow up at me or Max occasionally. Usually it was over something stupid but it would set him off."
"Give me an example."
"How about the night we left him?" The doctor nodded
Lexie sat at the kitchen table sipping a glass of juice. Dinner had been ready for over an hour and there had still not been any sign of Robert. He had started coming home later and later and she was getting tired of it. He was drinking more and more and she was starting to worry. She put her hand on her enlarged belly and sighed. This wasn't Robert. This wasn't the man that she had loved for so many years. He was a man that was falling apart silently and she had no idea how to save him. She heard his car pull into the garage and she took a deep breath. She had no idea which Robert she would have the pleasure of spending the evening with.
He walked in and set his briefcase down on the table. "Hey." He mumbled and she closed her eyes for a second. It would be angry, drunk Robert.
"You ready for dinner?" Lexie asked as she pulled herself out of the chair.
"I figured you would have already eaten." He had a slight slur in his words. She shook her head.
"We were waiting for you." He nodded and walked into the living room to the bar and poured himself a drink. "Don't you think that maybe you have had enough?" He turned and glared at her.
"I don't really remember asking for your opinion on the subject." She raised her eyebrows at him.
"I didn't think I needed an invitation to express my opinion."
He took a drink. "Yeah well, maybe it would be nice if just once you would keep your opinion to yourself."
She turned around and walked into the kitchen to get Max some dinner.
"Daddy!" Max yelled as he ran into the kitchen and into Robert's arms. Max was so desperate for a family that he had taken to calling them mommy and daddy and Lexie wasn't sure that was a good idea or not. She didn't want him to forget Sara but she did want him to feel like this was his home now. Robert set him down and Max looked up at him with sad eyes. That was what always broke Lexie's heart. When Robert was in a good mood he would spend hours with Max. They would play or Robert would tell Max stories but when he was in a pissy mood he would treat him like an annoyance.
They sat down to dinner and no one talked. The tension was almost palpable and Lexie wanted to scream just to break the quiet. Max decided to do that for her. His little hand reached for his milk and the glass tipped, smashing as it hit the table and milk ran everywhere.
"Fuck!" Robert yelled as he leaped up. The milk had run off the table and on to his pants. Lexie closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands.
"What is wrong with you? Why can't you do anything right?" He yelled at Max who started to sniff back the tears. Max leaped off his chair and ran upstairs. Lexie just looked at Robert with shock on her face and got up and went after him. Robert walked away from the table to his study slamming the door behind him.
Lexie knocked softly on Max's door and walked in. He was lying on his bed crying. She walked over and pulled him into her arms. "Shhh, it is ok." Max sniffed back his tears.
"I sorry. I be better if that what Daddy want." She shook her head.
"No, you should try to be more careful but Daddy was wrong to yell at you like that." Max looked up at her with big eyes.
"Is this when Daddy hits you?" Lexie's heart shattered.
"No, this Daddy won't ever hit. No matter what happens."
Lexie sat with Max until he cried himself to sleep then she tucked him in and shut his door as she left the room. She walked into the master bedroom and Robert was lying on the bed.
"Lexie, I ." She cut him off.
"No, Robert. You listen to me." She was still facing away from him. "I don't know what is going on with you and God knows that you won't let me in to try to help. So you have chosen to deal with this yourself and I think it is time that you start dealing with it the right way and not by drinking yourself into a coma every night and treating us like shit every day. If you want to destroy your life there is nothing that I can do to change that." She turned to face him and he saw more anger and hurt in her eyes than he ever imagined he would. "But if you ever talk to our children like that again I swear to God that will be the last time you have the chance to. That little boy is so lost and confused and all he wants is for us to love him. Do you know that he just asked me if this is when you hit me? Do you!?" Robert looked down. He felt terrible. No that didn't begin to describe how he was feeling.
"You have a choice to make Robert. You can choose the bottle or us. I am not going to raise them like this. I am not going to raise them in fear. So take all the time you need to figure out what you want."
"Well for one I would like you to be less dramatic. So I have a few drinks every once and a while, big deal. You have everything that you want. Why can't you just shut up and let me have the one comfort that I have left." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He was angry with himself and with her, but mostly at himself. She turned around and walked out the door to their bedroom slamming it behind her.
"And then you left?"
She shook her head. "No, I slept in the guest room that night and he was gone when I woke up. I packed our stuff and Max and I went to my Grandmother's house."
"Has he tried to get in touch with you since then?"
"No, it has been almost two weeks and I haven't heard a word from him." The psychologist nodded.
"I hate to do this but our time is up Lexie. We will get into this in more depth next time." She nodded. They stood and she made another appointment before she left and drove to her Grandmother house again.
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