Disclaimer - Own nothing, 'cept this rather crappy computer... damn it... damn it to Hell...
A/N - I'm gonna avoid wittering on today and just get down to the story - as that is what you are all here for right? Good. So, Chapter 20, quite a landmark for me. I never imagined this fic would go this far or that it would be so well received in a million years, so a heartfelt thank you to anyone who is reading and enjoying this story.
Closeted Secrets
He could feel that he was falling. One look into his friend's eyes told him that he had just lost everything he had ever had. He so desperately wanted to scream, to cry and to beg for forgiveness. To plead for things to go back to the way they had been just hours before. To grab him by the shoulders, shout, yell and attack him. Anything that could thaw the ice that had made his heart grow cold. Eddy needed to bring Double D back to him.
Double D felt that same ice touch, and briefly wondered if he really had fallen so far from grace, down to the depths of Hell. No. This place was too cold to be Hell. Hell was definite eternal damnation, a fatal, and most defiantly earned punishment. But Eddy had not even left him with that, instead leaving him in this purgatory, an uncertainty of judgment which almost made him long for the unambiguousness of Hell.
Eddy slowly made his way toward Double D, being cautious not to move too fast. He was used to seeing that look on his friend's face, the one of fear and panic. The Kankers had never failed to install that expression on either of the three boy's features when they were younger, no matter how much Eddy hated to admit it, and the boy was nothing short of neurotic at the best of times, who else would get so worked up over a little bit of mess or dirt? But this time was different. Never before had Eddy seen the pale boy to be the one caught within his own headlights. There was just something so undeniably wrong with that picture.
Ed had noticed the sudden change in the air and pulled away from Double D's arms, looking quizzically to his friend's eyes to once again give him the answers he needed, only find them glazed, his attention pulled unbreakably past Ed's shoulder and to the other side of the room. Ed turned to follow the boy's line of vision, only to see Eddy's solemn form.
"Eddy! Hey Eddy! Look! I found Double D! And I gave him back his hat, just like I said. Now everything is all back to normal!" Ed beamed brightly, his eyes glittering with the tears that had once fallen from them. He waited for his friends to answer, for Eddy to congratulate him on a job so well done before seemingly forgetting that any of this had ever happened as he was distracted by the latest of his money making schemes and began barking out orders for Double D to question relentlessly before finally giving in, sighing and relaying a list of the materials he would need to build his next, doubtlessly brilliant invention. That was how it was everyday, and even though all the planning and the work would prove to have been in vain as everything went horribly wrong, Ed knew that neither of them would ever change their routine.
So why were they being so silent?
"Waiting for the plan here Eddy" he yelled, hoping that, with a little encouragement, Eddy would remember his plans for the day. Ed couldn't blame him for forgetting and having to take a little time to try and remember quietly. Ed seemed to forget things everyday, and no doubt that if he had to think of all the brilliant and detailed plans that Eddy created then he would get confused too. It bothered him, that he could never be as good as his friends, but they assured him that to them it did not matter if he was a little slower than they were. They loved him anyway, and Ed was so grateful of that.
Realizing that his attention had slipped Ed mentally shook himself and looked expectantly to his leader, hoping that he had not missed any important instructions, only to find that neither boy had moved. That they were just staring at each other with dead eyes. Something was so wrong.
"Guys!" Ed lifted himself from his position on the floor and walked over to Eddy, whose attention never wavered from the pale figure before him. Ed stood discontentedly between his friends, blocking their eye contact with each other and crossed his arms disapprovingly, an annoyed look crossing his face. He hoped that this would work. He had seen Eddy do the same thing so many times when he wanted the boys to concentrate on their jobs.
"Ed" Eddy paused briefly, trying to think of a suitable excuse for luring his friend out of the kitchen. "I have this great idea for a scam ok? Now listen carefully. You know those comics you drew for me last week?"
"Sure do Eddy!" Ed answered brightly, proud that he had managed to get Eddy to remember his plans at last.
"I need you to go draw me up a few more ok?" Ed's face brightened, grateful for the chance to prove how useful he could be. Not even Double D could draw as well as he could, and neither of his friends knew more than he did about comic books! Before Eddy could give his friend any further instruction, Ed had nodded his enthusiastic obedience and bounded out through the screen door, his arms flailing wildly, caught up in his own excitement.
Eddy watched him leave, glad of the distraction and the opportunity to protect Ed from whatever was going to happen next, and was surprised when he saw his friend stand up, brushing unseen dirt from his shirt.
"You didn't tell him." The statement caught Eddy off guard, and before he could act otherwise his perpetual anger seeped through unwillingly.
"Neither did you I'd notice" He regretted it as soon as he had spoken, especially as Double D's once emotionless features had twisted into anger.
"Why are you here?" The taller boy demanded, much to Eddy's surprise. It was not often that Double D had such power in his voice, and never before had he spoken so hatefully. Eddy found himself unable to answer, in fear of the anger which still lurked in his grief. He needed to be tactful when it came to Double D, but anger was his strongest emotion, and no matter how much he tried to control it, he knew that his fury would win over the softer overtones he needed.
Tired of his friend's silence, Double D advanced toward his friend, glad of the inches he held above Eddy that allowed him to stand over his friend, but found he could not move any closer to the person who had betrayed him so horribly. He couldn't even stand to look at him. It would be impossible to do so without igniting the pain that spread though his body like poison. He turned from the shorter boy, not willing to show the tears rolling down his face.
"Just go..."
Eddy's own cheeks began to burn with the now familiar feeling of his guilt, but stood his ground, not wanting to move until Double D had been forced to forgive him. He could not let his fear win him over.
"No. Not until you let me explain. This isn't any of my fault!" Eddy tried to keep his voice calm, but knew that with every moment that passed he was more and more likely to give in to the rage that boiled beneath his words. How dare Double D turn his back to him? How could someone who was supposedly so intelligent not see that he had come here to explain.
"Is that so?" Double D's voice dripped with sarcasm, even though inside he knew that he was far weaker than he sounded.
"Yeah! It's all Kevin's stupid fault. He told me to do it, I swear!" Double D's eyes flashed with fury as he turned back to the blonde, glaring hatefully to him with a power not even he knew he possessed, no longer caring whether Eddy could see the tears the streaked his face. He had heard Eddy's excuses before, and usually he fell for them every time. But not this one. This time Eddy had excelled his usually selfish and spiteful self, and that he could try and shift the blame horrified the usually understanding boy.
"Go."
Eddy's own eyes filled with tears at his friend's command. He had destroyed what could been his only chance to regain his friend's trust, and now there was no way he could convince himself that Double D would forgive him. Not when his eyes, once so young, so beautiful and bright, were now dull and untrusting, as though some part of him had died, and now Eddy knew that they would probably never recover from the wounds he had slashed though his best friend's trust, just like the wounds slashed though his own heart.
Eddy cast one last lingering look to the seething boy before him, before silently admitting defeat, hanging his shoulders and walking back out of the kitchen, tears blinding his vision and the sobs threatening to take over his body rendering him unable to breathe. The sudden sound of the screen door slamming violently behind him as Double D had swung it closed, desperate to separate himself from Eddy in any way possible, seemed to awaken the anger that he had continually battled, no matter how successfully, and he turned back to the house, shaking uncontrollably with a mixture of pent up emotions. Before he could stop himself, he could hear his voice screaming back to the person on the other side of the door
"You'll be so sorry! Just you wait and see! You are going to regret the day you made me angry you pathetic homophobic jerk!" Eddy's eyes widened in horror as he realized what he had just done, and briefly considered apologizing for his sudden outburst, but decided against it. He could not risk to upset Double D any further.
Eddy blindly walked from the house, not seeing anything before him. Others had so often warned him about his ambition, his aching to be supreme. He had so often heard those words of caution and of warning. Yet he had never listened to a single one. He had been blinded by his own dreams, not realizing that he was so reliant upon his friends, that it was them who held him so high.
But now he had flown too close to the sun, melting his waxen wings, leaving him alone, nothing to keep him from falling.
Wow. That was fun to write! And so there was chapter 20, and finally the action hath returned! Hooray! So, as per usual, please express your thoughts to this chapter, and I shall return next week with chapter 21 -disappears in a puff of smoke-
