The Box Social
We all ride in our surreys t' Ike Skidmore's place. He's takin' Susan t' the party, even though he must be at least thirty years her senior. But at least she's got a fellow, right? Funny what a gal'll do to look marriageable.
Joe brings his guitar an' starts playin' as we all skip onto the front lawn 'f Skidmore's. All th' couples partner off an' do a part two-step, part polka, the girls droppin' their hampers on the sidelines with girls who don't have dates. "Benjamin" an' I dance real lively, lettin' out little "Whoo"'s or "Yee-haw"'s like everyone else, both of us grinnin' from ear t' ear, till Ado Annie's father Andrew Carnes motions fer everyone t' step t' the sides so's he can sing. The cowboys go on one side an' the farmers on another, Naomi an' Sam, Mike an' Lucy glarin' at each other cause they bumped into each other while they were dancin'. "The farmer and the cowman should be friends, oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends. One man likes to pull a plow, the other likes to chase a cow, but that's no reason why they can't be friends!"
All the girls with beaus go out and dance by ourselves while Carnes sings a refrain. "Territory folks should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" Our beaus come find us an' we all dance, joinin' Carnes's refrain. "Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" Naomi an' Sam bump into Mike an' Lucy again, an' Carnes points us all back t' the sides while Cord Elam tries to calm down Mike an' Lucy, an' Wilbur soothes Naomi an' Sam.
"I'd like to say a word for the farmer!" Carnes sings.
"Well, say it!" Aunt Eller exclaims from amongst the cowboys.
"He come out west and made a lot of changes," Carnes continues.
"He come out west and built a lot of fences," Will Parker sings, right in Carnes's face.
"And built 'em right across our cattle ranges!" Curly adds, puttin' his arm 'round Will.
Carnes scoots away from them, continuing to sing. "The farmer is a good and thrifty citizen!"
"He's thrifty, all right," Joe says, over the strum of his guitar. Carnes glares at him and continues singing. "No matter what the cowman says or thinks. You seldom see him drinkin' in a barroom!"
"Unless somebody else is buying drinks!" Curly shouts, gettin' laughs from the cowboys an' annoyance from the farmers. Me, well, I'll admit it was a l'il funny- but it was uncalled for an' mean-spirited.
"The farmer and the cowman should be friends, oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends. One man ropes a cow with ease, the other steals her butter and cheese, but that's no reason why they can't be friends!" Carnes sings.
All us couples get up an' dance again, all've us singin', "Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!" When we're all done dancin', Emily an' I sit down an' let our dates lean on us.
Aunt Eller comes to the center an' begins t' sing next. "I'd like to say a word for the farmer!"
"Oh, you would," Sam shouts, just tryin' t' get a rise out of her I guess.
"The road he treads is difficult and stony," Aunt Eller continues, ignorin' Sam. "He rides for days on end with just a pony for a friend."
"I sure am feelin' sorry for the pony!" Ado Annie calls out, gettin' glares from all the cowpeople an' chuckles from all the farmers.
"The farmer should be sociable with the cowman," Aunt Eller sings, "When he rides by and asks for food an' water. Don't treat him like a louse, make him welcome in your house!"
Angrily, Carnes pulls Ado Annie away from Will Parker, singin', "But be sure that you lock up your wife and daughter!"
"Who wants an ole farm womern anyway?" Cord Elam asks, causin' Emily an' I to trade angry looks.
"Notice you married one so you could get a square meal!" Ado Annie shouts over her pa's shoulder. It's true; his wife Lydia did used t' be a farmer girl, 'fore they married. Cord Elam's a hypocrite.
"You can't talk that-a way about our women-folk!" Slim exclaims.
"He can say what he wants!" Will Parker screams back. An' before our eyes, all the fellows ('ceptin Joe, who just goes on playin' his guitar) start fightin' each other, punchin' an' kickin' an' just 'bout everythin' else. Lynette an' I exchange terrified glances, screamin' along with all th' other girls. Eliza don't know how t' fight, an' I'm worried she's gonna get hurt or somethin'. I see some girls hidin' their faces on each other's shoulders, an' some girls just screamin' bloody murder. All us girls start singin',"The farmer and the cowman should be friends, oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends." We're 'bout t' continue, but we hear a gunshot. Ev'ryone freezes mid-air, an' I see Aunt Eller's th' one with the rifle. Looks like she stole it offa Carnes.
"Nobody's gonna slug out nothin'. This here's a party." She pulls Carnes away from his frozen fight, sayin', "Sing it, Andrew. Dum tiddy um tum tum!"
Hesitatingly, Carnes sings, "The farmer and the cowman should be friends." Aunt Eller strolls around the circle, pointin' the rifle, an' slowly we all un-freeze an' join in. "The farmer and the cowman should be friends. One man likes to push a plow, the other likes to chase a cow, but that's no reason why they can't be friends!"
"Benjamin" takes my hand as Ike Skidmore joins Aunt Eller an' shouts, "An' when this territory is a state, an' joins the union jist like all the others, the farmer an' the cowman an' the merchant must all behave themselves an' act like brothers!" Everyone nods along, like sayin', This makes sense.
"I'd like to teach you all a little sayin'," Aunt Eller sings. Reverently, we all hum, "Ooh-oooh." Aunt Eller continues, "An' learn the words by heart the way you should." We "Ooh-oooh" again an' cluster 'round Aunt Eller. "I don't say I'm no better than anybody else-" she pauses to let us think on this – "But I'll be damned if I ain't just as good!"
"I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be damned if I ain't just as good!" we all repeat lustily, then pair off an' sing an' dance, "Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals! Territory should stick together, territory folks should all be pals. Cowboys, dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers, dance with the rancher's gals!"
We erupt in cheers once th' song is all done, girls goin' over t' grab their baskets from the sidelines as Ike Skidmore says, "C'mon, everybody, it's time t' start the box social!"
"I'm so hungry, I could eat a gatepost!" Cord Elam says.
Steppin' out've the circle, I ask, "Who's goin' t' be the auctioneer?"
Immediately, I feel silly fer askin', cause everyone shouts, "Aunt Eller!" 'Course she's gonna. Silly me.
"Aw, let one of the men do it," Aunt Eller says, playin' coy, tryin' t' fetch some praise. It works- the crowd starts shoutin' out all sorts of things just t' get her t' do it. It's what she wants out of 'em, you can tell, an' she finally pretends t' give in. "All right, here's the rules. Y' gotta bid blind. You ain't supposed to know what girl goes with what hamper. 'Course, if your sweetheart told ya hers'd be done up a certain way with a special kind of ribbon, well, that ain't my fault!" The crowd laughs. "C'mon, let's auction th' hampers on the other side of the house and work our way 'round. Let's go!"
Whoopin' an' hollerin', we all walk 'round the house t' where th' hampers start. Never mind that all the gals're carryin' their hampers with 'em, so it don't really matter where we start auctionin' them off.
Surprisingly, "Benjamin" has t' fight a bit fer my hamper. Guess havin' an out-of-town city boy makes me seem like a real good catch all've a sudden. Tom, who didn't come with a date, gives Eliza a run fer her money. 'Course, Tom bids on just 'bout all the farmer-girls' hampers, never mind we all have beaus. I think he oughta stop wastin' his time with us taken girls an' start biddin' fer some cowgirls, but I guess to each their own.
By the time we work back 'round t' where we started, Laurey's caught up with us. She an' Jud were late comin', an' I still haven't seen head nor hind a' Jud. Laurey seemed real spooked. Cain't help wonderin' what made her so. Musta happened on th' way here, I guess.
As fate'd have it, th' only hampers that ain't auctioned off yet're Laurey's an' Ado Annie's. Aunt Eller starts th' bidding on Ado Annie's first. Slim starts it off, biddin' "Two bits". He always, always starts at two bits, just t' get th' biddin' rollin'. Th' only girl's hamper he's actually pursued is Susanna's, an' that's cause he's sweet on her. It's like Romeo and Juliet- lovers from opposite sides of society. Farmer an' cowgirl.
Cord Elam bids "Four", never mind his wife.
"Whatta 'bout you, peddler man?" Aunt Eller asks, tryin' t' get Ali Hakim t' bid on Ado Annie's hamper.
"Naw," he shrugs nonchalantly.
"Come on," Carnes hisses, pointin' his rifle at Ali Hakim's back.
"Six bits!" he says quickly, tryin' t' keep himself from gettin' shot. So that's what the boys were goin' on 'bout earlier. It's all his fault.
"Six bits ain't enough for a lunch like Ado Annie can make. Let's hear a dollar." Aunt Eller suggests, ever the eager auctioneer. "How 'bout you, Mike? You won her last year!"
Very true. Mike's just one'a Ado Annie's former flames, from last summer. Funny how things come all connected: last year, Ado Annie went with Mike, but now she's goin' with Will Parker (an' Ali Hakim), an' Mike's goin' with Lucy, an' Lucy has a crush on Will Parker.
"Yeah, that's right," Mike says, pattin' Lucy so's she knows it's all right, he likes her better now. "Hey, Ado Annie, you got that same sweet-potato pie like last year?"
"You betcha!" Ado Annie exclaims, ever happy to rekindle a former flame, even if she's got two suitors.
"Whaddya say, Mike, same old sweet-potato pie," Aunt Eller prompts.
"I say... it gave me a three-day bellyache," Mike says, causin' the crowd to burst out laughin'.
"Never mind about that. Who bids a dollar?" Aunt Eller asks.
"Bid!" Carnes whispers to Ali Hakim.
"Mine's the last bid. I got her fer six bits," Ali counters.
"Bid a dollar," Carnes insists, pokin' Ali with his rifle.
"Ninety cents," Ali Hakim says quickly.
"Ninety cents, we're gittin' rich! 'Nother desk fer th' schoolhouse. Do I hear more?" Aunt Eller asks cheerily.
"You hear fifty dollars!" Will Parker suddenly exclaims.
"Fifty dollars?" I ask Grace, who's sittin' next t' me. "Where did he get fifty dollars? I thought he spent it all on presents fer Ado Annie!"
"He's crazy," "Benjamin" says. Grace an' I agree.
"Fifty dollars! Nobody ever bid fifty dollars for a lunch! Nobody ever bid ten!" Aunt Eller exclaims.
"He ain't got fifty dollars," Carnes says disdainfully. We nod along, 'course not, where'd Will Parker get fifty dollars 'round here?
"Oh, yes, I have!" Will Parker says, producing money from his pants pocket. "And 'f yer a man of honor y' gotta say Ado Annie b'longs t' me, like y' said she would!"
"But where's yer money?" Carnes asks, impatient. I crane my neck to see past Nancy an' Emily an' Victor, seein' if Will's really got all that fifty dollars right there.
"Right here in my hand!" Will says, counting the money in front of Carnes' face.
"'At ain't yours!" Carnes shouts. "Y'jist bid it, didn't ya? Jist gave it t' the schoolhouse. Got to say the peddler-man still gets my daughter's hand." I frown. Ado Annie an' Will hafta be together- they're made for each other. That peddler's just a womanizer.
"Now wait a minute. That ain't fair!" Will exclaims.
"Goin' fer fifty dollars! Goin..." Aunt Eller starts.
"Fifty-one dollars!" Ali Hakim shouts. Everyone turns to look at him, stunned. What does he think he's doin'? I mouth at Eliza, who shrugs.
"You crazy?" Carnes screams, angrily.
"Fif-" Will begins to top Ali Hakim, but Ali Hakim stops him in his tracks. "Wait a minute. Wait! 'F I don't bid any more I c'n keep my money, cain't I?"
"Shore can," Aunt Eller grins, happily.
"'Nen I still got fifty dollars. This is mine!" Will says, matchin' Aunt Eller's grin.
"You feeble-minded shike-poke!" Carnes says, tearin' his hat offa his head an' throwin' it at Ali Hakim's feet.
"Goin', goin', gone fer fifty-one dollars and 'at means Ado Annie'll get the prize I guess!" Aunt Eller smiles, handin' Ado Annie's hamper to Ali Hakim. We all applaud an' cheer as Ado Annie hops over t' Will an' he wraps his arm 'round her. "Benjamin" takes my hand sweetly.
"And I git Ado Annie!" Will says cheerily.
"And what're you gettin' fer yer fifty-one dollars?" Aunt Eller asks Ali.
"A three-day bellyache?" he shrugs, causin' the crowd to chuckle again.
"Now here's my niece's hamper," Aunt Eller continues, gesturin' t' Laurey's hamper. "I took a peek inside a while ago and I must say it looks mighty tasty. Whut do I hear, gents?"
"Two bits!" Slim says, typically.
"Four bits," Joe says, his guitar still strapped round his neck. He took Lurlene to the party, an' he an' Mike're havin' a fun time keepin' their dates away from Will Parker.
"Whut d'you say, Slim? Six?" Aunt Eller asks. Slim shakes his head.
"A dollar and a quarter," Jud Fry's booming voice says as he comes through the crowd. We all whisper to each other. What is Jud doin' here biddin' on Laurey's hamper? What does he think he's doin'?
"Two dollars," Cord Elam says quickly, tryin' t' outbid Jud so's Laurey don't have to go with him.
"Two-fifty," Joe says.
"Three dollars!" Carnes exclaims, joinin' in Project Keep Laurey Away From Jud.
"And two bits," Jud counters, evokin' murmurs from the crowd. I cain't believe Jud has the audacity t' try somethin' like this, never mind if he did bring her. Laurey an' Curly are meant t' be, an' Jud's just creepy. I follow the biddin' like a baseball game.
"Three dollars and four bits!"
"Four dollars!"
"And two bits," Jud says, glarin' at all the boys tryin' t' outbid him.
"Four and a quarter," Aunt Eller says, desperately tryin' t' keep Jud from gettin' Laurey. She looks right at Curly. "Ain't I goin' t' hear any more?" Curly stands up like he's gonna bid, an' then he walks away.
"What is Curly doin'?" I ask.
"Where is he goin'?" Nancy adds.
The biddin' continues, Jud tryin' t' top everyone an' succeedin'. He scares everyone out of biddin' t' top him. Aunt Eller tries t' entice Carnes inta biddin' but Jud keeps toppin' him. I cain't believe it! What in the world? What does Jud think he's doin'?
Oh, and finally, finally, Curly returns, sellin' his saddle t' Tom an' his horse Dun t' Cord Elam. He's crazy, but he'll do anything t' win Laurey away from Jud. Thank God!
Jud reveals he's been savin' fer two years t' bid on Laurey's basket an' bids all the 42.31 'at he's saved. Curly takes out his gun, an' we all gasp cause we think he's gonna shoot Jud, but he sells it t' Joe, an' so he has 53 to bid, more than Jud, an' he wins Laurey's hamper. Oh! After all the tension, we're all so happy Curly's won Laurey for good.
