Yes, I know. There are only four reviews and I said five before I update. But I'm feeling bad for the four people who really want to know what happens. NEXT TIME, though, it's going take five reviews. So if you read it and wonder why I haven't updates yet . . . REVIEW!

thanks to . . .

Aerinha -- Oops. (smacks head) Um, actually, Mera knew the language of the giants the whole time, she just didn't realize it. Like, you know, when you know about half of a language and some native speaker is rattling it off to you, and it's like a whole different language? I regress. Sorry I was not clear enough for you. I'm brilliant? Aw, shucks. And you'll just have to see what happens to our dear/very confused/evil Princess Midnight.

Arein -- yes! A fairy! This is a true, honest-to-goodness FAIRY tale.

Lollipop5 -- love the lovely handle (i.e. name). Hey, I never said it was my best work! I was only twelve, young, naïve, innocent and tended to get high off my own writing. (shrugs) Glad you enjoyed it!

Miss Piratess -- I can always depend on you to give me a nice lengthy review! Yay for giants and being completely random. If I had to chose a story that represented me the best, it'd be this one. Strange, crazy, a bit face paced and hard to understand, random, and this close to ridiculous.

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Fairies and Curses

It was wearing a raggedy light orange dress, and had dragonfly-like florescent orange wings. It had very long red-orange curly hair.

"Hello, Mera Wuos. You needed help? I am Egnaro Nedlog Tserof. I help all distressed people in the Golden Forest. I believe you needed. . .what was it, again?" asked Egnaro.

"A -- a map," stuttered Mera. "I need to get to the castle, and then Smoke-Stack."

"Hm," said Egnaro. "I can't think of any map fairies. There is Tsol, and Levart, but they are on vacation. There is always Suoe Nallecsim. Maybe she can help." She looked at Mera. "Excuse me, I am about to do something quite strange." She flew upwards and turned upside-down. "Ahem.

Suoe, Suoe, Suoe.

Suoe, I call upon you.

The Fairy of the last resort.

Always ready to retort.

I need help.

Fa-la-la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la-la-la

Suoe, Suoe, Suoe."

A bright pink-yellow sphere, like Egnaro's, came out of nowhere. Egnaro flew back beside Mera. Soon, a pink-yellow fairy stood before them. "Suoe at your service. You call, I come. What shall I do for you?"

"Suoe, we have a big problem. This girl needs a way to get to the Castle of Mahaska, and a city called Stoke-Smack," said Egnaro.

"Smoke-Stack," corrected Mera, with a sigh.

"A city called Smoke-Stack, I mean. Do you know where that is?" asked Egnaro.

"No. I am not very good at geography. Why don't you talk to Yhpar?" asked Suoe.

"Why, I didn't think of that. Thanks," said Egnaro.

"Yeah," said Suoe, and she disappeared.

"Hello!" yelled Egnaro. "Yhpar! Where are you?!"

The answer came as: "I am in South Whifa! Where are you?!"

"The Golden Forest! In Mahaska!" Egnaro yelled.

"I'm coming!! I will be there soon!!" came the cry. 'Soon' ended up being less than a few seconds. Yhpar was purple and yellow. She looked at Mera in surprise. "What – who is this?"

"She has lost her way. She wants to get to Stoke-Smack-"

"Smoke-Stack!" interjected Mera.

"-- and the Castle of Mahaska," said Egnaro.

"Aha. Well, Stoke-Smack,"-- a groan from Mera -- "or whatever it is called, is 650 ioques west from here," said Yhpar.

"Okay, I want to get to the castle first." Said Mera.

"Yes, yes, yes. The Castle of Mahaska is 23,000 ioks south from here. Quite a long walk for you," she told Mera.

"I've done it before," Mera said, with determination on her dirty face. "Just last night."

"My, my, my. Aren't we strong? Or at least strong-hearted?" asked Yhpar. "Well, here you are. Follow the green line to the castle, then the red line to Stoke-Smack."

"Smoke-Stack!" bellowed Mera.

"Yes, yes, yes. The lines will disappear in a week, so I advise you to get a move on. Well, good-bye, have a nice trip," said Yhpar.

"Bye. Thanks," said Egnaro.

"I hope you find Stoke-Smack!" Yhpar said, as she disappeared.

"Smoke-Stack," mumbled Mera, huffily.

"Well," said Egnaro. "Best be on your way."

"Thank you for your help," Mera said. "You are a nice fairy."

"All of us are," said Egnaro. "Except for Dekciw Hctiwatsomla. She is the only bad fairy. Stay away from The Crozly Cave! That is where she lives."

"I will. Thank you," Mera smiled. "Maybe I will see you again."

"If you ever get into any trouble, just call my name and I will come right away." Egnaro patted Mera's shoulder. "Have faith, strong-hearted one." Slowly, Egnaro disappeared.

"Well," said Mera. "Time to get Raven (shutter) and get going." She walked to the door and creaked it open. Raven was sitting up in bed and drinking something. Fa-sud-ig went over to her and shut the door. "What is she drinking?" whispered Mera.

"Well, she thinks she's drinking hot limmon-yelo," whispered Fa-sud.

"What is she drinking?" whispered Mera, impatiently.

"A fairy drink called Recineb Kciuq," whispered Fa-sud-ig, slowly. "It- well- makes her nicer."

"Well. That will certainly make things a little bit easier," sighed Mera.

"Saw you talking to those fairies," Fa-sud blushed. "Heard you, too."

"Oh, that's all right. I have to take Raven to the castle. Maybe she will be more manageable now." Mera sighed and walked over to the bed.

"Oh, hello! I don't believe we have met. Who are you?" asked the queen.

"I -- uh -- am Mera Wuos. I am 19, I'm a servant at your castle," said Mera, slowly. "You fainted, and I brought you here. Actually, I wanted to get to my father, in Smoke-Stack. He's a doctor. I thought he could help you. I got lost in the Golden Forest. Aifii, one of the giants, found us under that tree. See it through the window? He brought us in, and here we are!"

"Goodness!" cried Raven. "All the things I've missed -- all the adventures that happened while I was unconscious! Ah, well, we will have many adventures on the way to the castle, won't we? To make up for that?"

"Right. Speaking of which, it is time to go," Mera said, curtly. She turned to the giants. "I'll miss you all terribly – but – but -- I promise I'll visit you- so- so, bye for now!"

Fa-sud pulled her aside. "Mera, would you mind if we kept Prudence? I've become attached to her."

"Of course. Goodbye, Pru."

"Good-bye! Good-bye! Good-bye!" yelled Raven as they started on their way away from the giants' home. The trio walked out of sight from the house. And it cannot be said Mera did not turn around a few times before they reached the Golden Forest.

"Well. Do we follow this line or that line?" asked Raven.

"What? Oh, follow the green line," said Mera, passively.

"All right, green." Raven quickly found the green path. "All right, let's go. Hello? Mera? Let's go!"

"Oh. Yes, I suppose," Mera said. She thought, Will I ever see Fa-sud-ig again? What about Da-jooa? Or Sa-jawi? Or Aifii or Qa-ja-ci? I all ready miss Fa-sud. And what about that fairy, Egnaro? Will I ever get to thank her again? Then, a very bad (even worse than those she had been thinking) thought crept into her cranium. What if I am lost for good? What if I never get to see Father? Or my sisters? What about Hoyv, my best friend? What will she do without me? Mera shook her head to shake the thoughts away.

"No?" asked Raven. "Why not? I thought everyone liked their home! What- was there something wrong with Stoke-Smack?"

"Huh? Nothing's wrong with where I come from. What?" said the confused Mera.

"I asked you if you were eager to go home to Stoke-Smack," said Raven.

"Um, a little. I have been living in Smoke-Stack all my life," said Mera.

"Oh."

"Are you?" asked Mera.

"Am I what?" said the queen.

"Eager to get home," answered Mera.

"Well, I guess so," said Raven.

"Did you ever live anywhere else?" asked Mera.

"Oh, yes," Raven smiled. "I'm royal by marriage. I used to live in Holly-Hock. It was a nice place, but very small. I miss my family sometimes."

"Holly-Hock? I've heard of that. I think my aunt lives there," said Mera, thoughtfully.

"Oh. Well, it's getting dark. Let's just stop here for a while." Raven pointed to a cluster of leaves. "That could be a bed for you,"-another cluster of leaves- "and that could be for me."

"Okay, I am getting a little sleepy," Mera yawned. She sat on the piled of dry dead leaves with a crunch. Heavy breathing soon escaped her mouth.

As Mera slept, something appalling was going on. Something so very appalling, it was bad. Something so very bad that it was terrible. Something so very terrible, it was horrendous. Yes, something horrendous was going on as Mera slept. It was thus: the Recineb Kciuq was slowly wearing off, and the queen was getting meaner and meaner and meaner. As the queen got meaner, the more she remembered. . .or should I say, thought she remembered.

"I remember," whispered Raven. "I remember that girl is my servant. I remember a big dog jumping on me. I remember being in a house with giants. I remember a big dog there." Something clicked in that wicked little brain of hers. "I remember that girl kidnapped me! I remember traveling in a wheelbarrow! I will run away from this runt of a guard and find my home! But where is the big dog now? It must have ran back to the house! I will go back and get it! It will pay! And you, I'll get you back, deary, and your big dog, too!"

"Raven?" complained Mera. "I'm trying to get to sleep. Could you be a little quieter?"

"Oh, yes. I will try, dear." Raven smiled a wicked smile to herself, for another thing in her wicked little brain clicked. "You try to get some sleep, deary, because once I am finished with you, you will never wake again!" Raven felt a maniacal laugh coming on, but she quickly suppressed it with a cough.

Raven did not sleep a wink that night, for she searched and searched in the forest for another very wicked thing. . .The Crozly Cave. She found it at about 2 AM, nestled in between two very large mountains. Consequently, the left mountain was called Chaos and the right mountain was called Disruption. Raven made it slowly up to The Crozly Cave. It had a stone door on it and there was a sign on the door. It said, "Gone to eat. Be back near dawn. Dekciw" Raven sighed in exasperation. Dekciw was gone! Her whole plan was ruined. But wait. . .Dekciw would not mind if she went through some books to find something, would she? She would put everything back; Dekciw would not even notice she had been there.

Raven slowly opened the large door. The Crozly Cave was very dark. Raven groped around the wall, trying to get to the middle of the room. "Ezalsi," she whispered. Instantly the whole cave was alit. Right in front of her was a large bookshelf, old and stone-gray. All the books were old and very thick. And when I say thick, I mean 6,000 times thicker than the normally thick book. They were colossal. Raven, being quite short, found a large stone to use as a step.

"How To Use A Wand, Cauldrons And Cookbooks, Several Spells To Kill (or at least knock unconscious), More Spells To Kill (or at least knock unconscious), Even More Spells To Kill (or at least knock unconscious)." Raven tugged More Spells To Kill down to the floor. "I think it is in this one."

She searched down the table of contents. "1), A Funny Joke, 2), Sleeping Spells, 3), Cauldron Mixes, 4), Poisons, 5), More Poisons, 6), Even More Poisons, 7), New Poisons, 8), Old Poisons, 9) Flower Poisons, 10) Animal Poisons, 11), Humorous Poisons, 12), Grave Poisons, 13), Another Funny Joke. Hm. I think it is in Sleeping Spells. That's on page 54,679,524. Raven quickly (well, as quickly as you can with a book 6,000 times thicker than average thick books) flipped to that page. Another table of contents met her.

"Ugh. Let's see, Sleep for a day, Sleep for a week, Sleep for a month, Sleep for a thousand, million decades, Sleep for forever, Sleep until someone kisses them, Sleep until a frog kisses them, Sleep until royalty disguised as a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant kisses them, or Sleep until people land on the moon. I think I will go with Sleep until royalty disguised as a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant kisses them. It's on page 34,958,304,958."

She flipped to that page, where it said: Drop daisies over her while she is asleep, pull off her left shoe and put it on your head, stick your left thump in your right ear and say, 'Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes.' three times. Then stomp your right foot and say 'So there!' Bow four times and the victim will be snoring in about 2 minutes. Raven copied it on a piece of paper. "Mera, prepare to sleep!"

She ran as fast as she could away from The Crozly Cave. Raven picked a bunch of daisies on the way. She could hardly wait until she got to Mera.

Raven was getting nervous. She was having second thoughts about the spell. Not because it was bad, but because it was not all together clear. How will I know if it works? She thought. What if I think it works, but it really does not? Then what will I do? She was worried so much, she walked right into a tree. She was there so soon, she gasped when she saw Mera sleeping in the pile of leaves. Dawn was breaking, she had to do it fast.

She scattered the daisies all over her, then pulled on Mera's left brown peasant shoe and placed it on her head. Raven was so nervous about the spell, she almost forgot the words she was supposed to say. Then she remembered she had written them down. She pulled out the scrap of paper, stuck her thumb in her ear and read in a wavering voice. "Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes. Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes. Ab-kedefgey-jekel-monop-ker-stuwertzes."

She stomped her foot and yelled "So there!" She bowed four times. The sun shone in her eyes, and she wondered worriedly if the spell had worked. She decided she did not want to stay around to find out. She dropped Mera's peasant shoe and ran from that spot quicker than you can say, 'Bad queen!' She was not sure where she was going, but she wanted to get out. She ran into the same tree again, which was bad for Raven, but even worse for the tree.

Meanwhile, Mera was still asleep. The brilliant light from the sun filled the whole forest. Everything was coming to life. . .except for Mera. She was still asleep. The spell had worked, after all.

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