A Bachelorette Party
Oh, you'll never believe it! Curly an' Laurey are engaged! Oh, how exciting! They're gettin' married in just a couple a' days, an' Ado Annie had the idea that all we girls have a bachelorette party fer Laurey. All the men're off havin' a bachelor party fer Curly, so why cain't we have one fer Laurey?
We all show up at Laurey's 'bout eight, giggly and giddy. Laurey's the giggliest of all. I guess all buddin' brides are. Ado Annie shows up last. When we ask her why she's late, we just have t' look at her an' realize she's drunk! In fact, she holds up a bottle've whiskey she stole from her father, invitin' us all to take a swig. One by one, we drink th' whiskey, th' sour-tastin' alcohol gettin' us all a bit tipsy. Laurey gets t' finish the last've the bottle off, gaspin' for breath when she's done.
We all clap and cheer for her, yee-hawin' an' whoopin' as Laurey gets in touch with her inner bachelorette. Oh, gracious, we are all drunk. Ado Annie produces more whiskey and we drink eagerly, clappin' for each other as we take sips. I sputter a little with my second sip, my eyes wide an' shinin'. "Whoo-ee!" I shout, tiltin' my head t' the air.
"'At's th' spirit, Millie!" Ado Annie screams, takin' th' bottle from my hand an' givin' it t' Martha. Poor thing, she's only twelve, an' quite a lightweight. She's more tipsy than most've us put together. In fact, Lydia an' Susanna hafta take her off t' get some air while the rest of us enter Round Two of Laurey's bachelorette party.
Another thing Ado Annie stole from her father was his rifle. She shows it to us flashily an' then pulls th' trigger, sendin' a bullet out inta the distance. Cain't be a good thing with all've us drunk, but we all grab at the gun anyway, beggin' t' take turns shootin' things. Nancy hits a tree, an' Lynette hits a bush, but th' rest've us cain't hit a thing t' save our lives.
When Aunt Eller finds us, Virginia an' Victoria are spinnin' round in circles, their dresses spinnin' out so's you can see their bloomers. Susan's just taken her skirt off all together, an' Naomi an' Nancy an' Grace are layin' on the lawn with their skirts splayed out. Lynette an' Eliza an' I are collapsed on Laurey's bench. Laurey an' Ado Annie are drunker than th' rest've us put together, an' Aunt Eller takes them in a house for a serious talk.
If the bachelorette party is this exciting, I cain't wait fer the wedding!
