Rumors
Notes: I've found that stories that are humor write faster than stories that aren't. So this may write faster than You and I got something but don't worry! I'm working away. I'm strangely motivated at the moment.
Part Two: In which Hank tracks down Wally, Wally displays that he can do serious and scary as well as his lovers (more or less), and Clark is smacked with a lead pipe. And then, in a rare display of stupidity, Clark agrees to help Wally out. Slightly less amusing and a bit more angsty.
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Rumors
Maturity or Something Like it
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Wally yawned as he plodded through the halls of the tower, numbly avoiding the staff and the other hero's wandering about as well. He was kind of bored actually. It was tragic, a clinically bored superhero type guy. He half-wished someone would get around to invading the earth or trying to take over or something, so he could find something to do.
Which was really bad. Wishing for violence. Shame on him.
He yawned again, glancing around. He was in the hallway where some of the newer members private rooms were. He and the other original six had rooms in the same wing, along with Robin, Oracle (who shared with Diana) Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, and Superboy. Apparently the whole 'original' thing occasionally got interpreted to mean 'Baby-sitters and Mentors of the Team Titans'.
Wally had to admit it kind of sucked on occasion to be the guy in the middle. The other Leaguers had, on average, a decade on him and the younger kids were…well, younger. The former Teen Titans had a wing around up here but damn if they were ever around when Wally managed to locate it.
Maybe he should just head back to Central City and check up on Piper and Kid Flash again. He'd talked to Piper before, informing him that he now had a date with Dove and had better take good care of the kid, to which his friend had rolled his eyes. So far they hadn't found anything, though they'd uncovered a few semi-promising leads.
Though he did kind of need to speak to Don again about that whole date thing before he ran off for an extended amount of time.
"Flash!" Speaking of Don.
Hawk had rounded a corner, glowering and eying him dangerously. And damn, but he didn't look the least bit amused. Not that Wally was at all surprised by that.
He sighed, rocking back on his heels and waiting for Hawk to get to a distance that didn't require yelling at each other down the hallway. Sure, he was tempted to run away and hide someone (Bruce's room maybe. He couldn't imagine anyone being able to break in there.
Including him most likely. Bruce had that place locked up tight. Wally had only ventured inside there on one occasion and that was just because he had, literally, drawn the short straw. Bats had once again being melded to his computer so John had 'nominated' him to go and get the other man.
Ha. Nominated. Asshole.
Waiting for Hank proved to be far from his smartest idea ever. He was grabbed by the front of his shirt and pressed again the wall. Hank's glare was fierce and Wally was willing to swear he could feel the heat from his gaze. Oh well. He'd expected this, right?
…And yet, somehow, one was never really prepared for an ass kicking.
"Hi Hank." He tried to keep his tone level. "I take it you heard about my talk with Don." 'And are here to kill me.' How nice. He really didn't want to die right now, bored and sex deprived.
If possible the intensity of Hank's glare increased. Yeah, he'd heard. "So you aren't even going to try and deny it?"
Wally shrugged as much as he could. "Don't see a point. I mean you already talked to Don right?" Hank blinked and Wally could tell, just by the way his expression changed that he hadn't. He frowned. "You're going to beat me up without even talking to your brother first?"
"I don't need to talk to Don." Hank's glare was back. "I don't need Don to tell me that you asked him out, people saw you. Look Wally, I don't approve of…that, but Don's my brother and whatever floats his boat, you know, so I look out for him the best I can. I don't care what you do with John and the bat even though I know it's wrong-"
"I actually didn't ask Don out."
"And someone should tell him. John's a good guy and what you're doing is really fucked up-"
Wally blinked as something caught up with his brain. Had Hank said what he did with John and the bat? What the hell did Hank know about what he did with John and Bruce? Why was he even using the three of together in a sentence!
Was Wally panicking? Nope. Not at all.
He was lying. Badly. To himself of all people. Damn.
They had never really spoken about it but Wally had pretty much assumed their relationship was something they were keeping to themselves for…however long it lasted. There had been enough of a stir when he and John had come clean (in their usual 'misadventure' fashion) Bruce wasn't big on the teamwork thing, but he didn't like when things were shaken up and people were distracted by rumors and gossip.
Damn is this wasn't going to be distracting at hell. Flash, Green Lantern, and Batman in some twisted and perverse threesome relationship.
Only not. It really wasn't twisted or perverse or any of those things some people probably would have thought. It was surprisingly…comfortable. John and Bruce complemented each other in a surprising way, both deadpan and serious though it was Bruce, shock of shocks, who was more prone to smile and allow Wally to distract him from anything save League business and John who kept everything in order with that scary machine-like military mind.
Batman was a machine, yeah, but Bruce wasn't. He was…something else.
Stupid multiple personalities. At least it was just Bruce who had them. Green Lantern and John Stewart were pretty much the same person, just minus the costume, a fact that he knew worried John from time to time. He thought John was fading and at times only Lantern existed. Which was stupid as far as Wally was concerned.
But Wally was getting off topic. Bruce and John and their host of issues could do that to him from time to time.
It was comfortable with them. Wally liked it. He was used to it and it was part of how his life worked; the two of them just…being there with him. He didn't want to just…give it up but Batman was the sort of guy who let go of all…attachments for the sake of the mission. Bruce might let go for appearances sake.
Neither of which appealed to him.
If this was out, seriously Bruce might leave.
Safe to say Wally had gone from bored to mildly pissed off.
"Yo, Hank, shut up!" Hank stopped and stared at him, mouth hanging open. Wally pushed him away and shook his head. "Thanks. Now please, slowly, repeat what you just said to me."
(Wally didn't know it but he could actually be scary when he wanted to. He stood to his full height and in spite of Hank being taller seemed to tower over the other hero. His eyes were narrowed in a glare fairly reminiscent of one of Batman's best, though his eyes were almost as indifferent as Lantern's could be. He'd picked up a few tricks over the past months.)
"Um." Hank seemed to be struck silent. Something about suddenly scary Wally and being told to shut up was playing hell on his brain. Finally, seeing the impatient look, he retold the gist of his statement. "I don't care what you're playing at with Lantern and Batman but leave my little brother out of it."
"What makes you think I'm 'playing' at anything with anyone? You know I'm with John so why would Batman be involved." Hank would have rolled his eyes but Wally was still in 'scary mode' so he thought better of it.
"Everyone knows it." Wally's eye twitched. "I heard Vixen and Wonder Woman talking about it."
"Wonder Woman?" He frowned. Diana? Talking about him? Behind his back? No way. That just wasn't…Diana. They were friends and even if they weren't she didn't have an actual dishonest bone in her body. She'd never seemed to have a problem confronting people before.
"Well she was on your side." Hank said warily. "She told Vixen you wouldn't fool around on John behind his back, Vixen didn't seem to agree, Wonder Woman tried to break her spine…"
"Oh." Wally brightened. That was certainly more like that Princess he knew. "One last thing: Do you know where this thing started at?"
"Superman." Hank said then, noting the skeptical look Wally was wearing, shrugged again. "That'd what Kara said. She's the one who told me you asked Don out."
So that's why she'd been acting like that. She thought Wally was adding another notch to his belt in the form of Don, whom the redhead knew she was decent friends with. They both had that clinically sunny disposition and streak of optimism. (Though, seriously, he was flattered they thought he was the belt notching type. This backed up his whole 'I'm just too damn sexy for my own good' theory that Bruce and John kept shooting down.)
Still. Clark? Though it made sense. Clark knew, thanks to Bruce's strange urge to traumatize the alien as much as possible whenever possible. And Don must have thought he had some strange kinky proposition going on, which explained the near hyperventilating he'd done.
"I don't want to date your brother. He's too perky for my tastes. I set him up with a friend so after you talk to Don you can come and beat me up for introducing him to a convict. Later."
He ran off, intent on finding Clark, and left Hank standing in the middle of the hallway. A few moments later Don happened to be walking past and, upon seeing his bother in a semi-comatose state, walked over to see what was wrong with him. He poked Hank, frowning at his older brother.
"Hank-"
"You're going on a date with a con? What the hell is wrong with you?"
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Clark got a call from Wally to come down to the hanger and help him with something. Clark was, understandably, a little wary because of all those damn rumors that somehow seemed to come back to him. But after a moment of thinking it over he decided to go. Hell, it was Wally after all, what was the worst he could do?
Besides, from what he'd seen Wally didn't even realize people were talking about him yet, so maybe it was something perfectly innocent and benign.
Crack!
That was the sound of a lead pipe breaking over Clark's head. One piece fell to the floor and then the other was more or less tossed to the side while Wally swore and rubbed his now sore arms.
"Shit your head it hard."
Clark rubbed the back of his head, which didn't really hurt. The pipe had stung a little bit though. That aside, was Wally fucking insane? Or maybe he'd been possessed or something…yes. That would explain it. There was something in Wally's body making him do stupid things.
…Wait…no. That idiotic statement was pure Wally.
"You just hit me with a pipe."
"Yeah." Wally frowned while shutting the door Clark had just come through. For the first time the older man noticed that everyone was…well, gone. "Oh stop looking at me like that. You'll be fine."
Clark rolled his eyes. "You would know, considering how often you've been hit with falling shrapnel."
"That hasn't happened for months!" Wally looked offended. The nerve. They really had to get back to the important issue here.
"You. Just. Hit. Me. With. A. Pipe."
"I know. I feel a lot less angry, thanks." Wally waved that off and glared at Clark accusingly. "You're spreading rumors about us."
"Oh. That." Should have known not even he would stay in the dark forever. He'd really been hoping though.
"So…you really are spreading rumors?" Wally blinked. "Really?"
"No. Not…really." Clark wasn't over the pipe thing yet. "You know most people would have asked before they started swinging."
"You're lucky I didn't let it slip to Bruce you were spreading rumors."
That was true. Bruce had a tendency to make Clark's life pretty damn unbearable when he was in a foul mood. You wouldn't have thought him for the spiteful vindictive type but he could be pretty spiteful when he wanted to be. So, on the grounds that Wally had only hit him and not gotten him on Bruce's bad side, he decided to let it slide.
"Well I'm not, really." He frowned, trying to think of the best way to explain it. "I was on the phone with Bruce, with mental images I didn't need, and Kara and Kon were around and you know how those two can be about things." Teenagers…
"Everyone thinks I'm some kind of slut!" The redhead was whining now. He had his arms over his chest, looked five seconds away from pouting and…well, he was whining. That, combined with the threat to tell Bruce was kind of making Wally look like a five year old.
He said as much and got flipped the bird for his trouble.
"Everyone doesn't think you're a slut. Some of them think you're just a pervert." Clark wasn't helping, not really. He knew taunting Wally was wrong but even he had a mild sense of humor that he would never admit to in front of Bruce. "Some think you and John are total bastards and seduced Bruce into your bed while he was heartbroken over Diana."
Which is funny, in a way. The idea of someone seducing Batman or Bruce Wayne, or otherwise getting him to do something he wouldn't normally do. It was…laughable. But that's why these things were rumors and nothing more.
Flash muttered something that was mostly likely very rude before sighing. "Fucking fantastic. You know this is your fault, again."
"…Again?"
"Yes! First that stupid psychiatrist thing which somehow ended with us sleeping together and now this. You are a…sucky friend." Wally finished a bit lamely. He just looked like of tired and defeated now.
Clark frowned. "You should be thanking me for the first one. It's not like you're upset about it. I mean it's pretty obvious you care about them both."
"Well, yeah but-"
"So who cares what everyone else thinks?" Clark said reasonably. And he wondered really, why did Wally care? It wasn't really Wally's style, getting all worked up over what everyone else thought about him and his relationships. He hadn't cared when people found out about him and John, going so far as to touch and kiss John in public just to watch other people get flustered and leave the room.
Clark remembered how John had just smiled and shook his head, seemingly content to let Wally use him to piss other people off. Not that Clark was surprised by that. John liked to upset and confuse people, though he liked to work more subtly than Wally. Bruce…well, he was all subtly when Batman was concerned but when it came to being an asshole he was pretty blatant about it.
"Bruce will care. John too, maybe." Wally muttered. "They have images you know."
Clark bit his tongue to keep from saying that if John cared about his image than they wouldn't have an out in the open relationship, because dating Wally just wasn't good for anyone's image. Being with Bruce as well might give John's image a boost.
"I doubt John would care. And Bruce…well." Bruce was as unpredictable as Batman was. You couldn't be sure what he was going to do. He wouldn't put it past him to break off whatever he had with John and Wally but it also wouldn't surprise him in the last and Bruce just shrugged it off.
Wally was staring at the floor hard and it took a few moments for Clark to realize this was really, genuinely bothering the younger man. He was really worked up over it.
"Do you want me to talk to Bruce?"
"He doesn't like you."
"Thanks Wal."
"Well he doesn't."
Clark shrugged. "You'd be surprised how well we can get along when we aren't trying to save the world." He was lying. He and Bruce pretty much did their best to drive each other insane out of costume, but it wasn't because they didn't like each other. It was just…fun in a really perverse and un-Superman like way. "Besides…I guess I owe you for letting Kara and Kon going this far."
He was so going to make them work for this one. Weeks in the field back home. No powers. Just…work until he was satisfied that they felt appropriately repentant. And then he'd make them work for another week. With no TV or dates. Yes. …Clark could do mean when he wanted to.
Wally still seemed reluctant but nodded and straightened up. "I have to get back to the city. I've got Piper and Kid 'investigating'."
Clark nodded and waved him off. Then, with a slight frown, called after him. "I am not a sucky friend!"
Wally's laughter echoed in the tower as he ran from the transport pad. Clark frowned again (Because he wasn't a bad friend) then ran his fingers through his had.
Off to see Bruce then.
…He was going to need a bottle of aspirin for this no doubt.
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Hap: Two days baby! Two days! I rock.
Hikari: Yes, I was all happy to see Wally. I quite literally knocked my boyfriend on his ass when he tried to change the channel. Stupid boyfriend.
Nameless: Oddly enough they aren't totally off the wall. Wally is just…a trouble magnet. Poor guy.
Sporks: Thank you.
Ellen: Yeah, Don was…stupid. And his mind was in the gutter. Shame on him. But that's why we like him. And yes, Piper is very happy. We'll see some of him later. And yes, Bruce, Wally, and John are issue ridden. Weirdos.
