Chapter 4: Preparation
"Shall I meditate again?" Artemis suggested.
"No, Artemis," Holly said firmly. "We don't have time for that. We have to make our plan as we go."
"I have to make some new iris-cams for Diana," Foaly muttered. "I really have never seen such black eyes. I can't tell the difference between the pupil and the iris."
"I suppose that's common where you're from?" Holly asked.
"Well, no," Diana replied. "Some of us have dark brown eyes. My eyes are black even by Asian standards."
"I wish I could speak Korean," Artemis said quietly. "Could you teach me?"
Diana was surprised. How many times did a child prodigy like Artemis ask others to teach him? "Sure," she smiled. "I'm sure you'll catch on to it quickly."
Diana was dressed in a tight black suit that looked as if glossed with enamel. She pulled her long black hair into a high ponytail. She had a slender frame, and all this surprised Artemis. He had never scrutinized a girl for that long. He had never looked closely at anyone, in fact.
Strapped under her jacket on both arms were two Neutrino 2000s. Slung across her slacks was a leather whip with a jade ring on it, a gift from Juliet. She also wore loop earrings, which were, in her words, "not for vanity." They were special devices that located Diana when she touched it. In her knee long boots was a small dagger. She was all set and poised for battle.
Juliet spoke up. "You're Korean, you say?" she asked Diana. "Can you do Tae Kwon Do?"
Diana laughed. "Yes, I can, although I'm hardly as good as you. I was working on my black belt when I got this mission."
Juliet brightened up. "Maybe we can practice?"
"Sure, Juliet," Diana replied. "And you too, Fowl. With your composed posture and all, I can hardly believe you are a man."
The first step was meditation. Artemis, of course, favored this step. To his dismay, this only lasted for a brief five minutes, just to "clear up your mind and concentrate entirely on your moves."
Artemis could barely hold his leg up to Diana's shoulder, which amused both ladies quite much. "Honestly, Fowl, you should learn to get fit once in a while. After all, there are countless times when your brain cannot save you."
After a long three hours, Artemis learned to punch with all his might, kick above his height, and block Diana's moves without ducking like an idiot. Artemis's moves were so clumsy and ridiculous that both Diana and Juliet were laughing their heads off and Holly yelled at them for wasting their time.
"I simply can't do this anymore," Artemis gasped. "I mean, isn't this quite enough to defend myself?"
"I guess so," Diana shrugged. " I was just trying to put some muscle on your skinny body, which will obvious take considerably more than a day. I recommend that you practice every day. And get a proper tae kwon do suit. I know you've got the money."
Surprisingly, when the trio found Butler, he was not doing any preparations at all. "Why aren't you preparing for…er… the war, Dom?" Juliet asked.
Butler smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that I'm too old, and that is physically, to be of any help to you all. I won't be attending-"
"Nonsense, Butler," Artemis said firmly. "Even if you have grown old, you are still robust compared to an ordinary man. Besides, you have now fully recovered from Holly's magic surgery. Therefore you shall attend. No person is useless anywhere."
"If you insist," Butler replied. "Thank you, Artemis."
Foaly was stalking down the corridor as well. He had a gun strapped to his waist, presumably a Neutrino 2000. He also had two gadgets strapped around his two front legs,
"What are those, Foaly?" Diana asked.
"I am absolutely tired with sitting around with my beloved computers. True, I do love them, but I wish to participate in this mission."
"Okay, but what are those gadgets?"
"Oh. This is a Sleeper Deeper bomb. I thought I might need it at the very end, if there is and end-" he winced at this thought. "- to knock out the Mud Men. Of course, it won't have any effect on me, for I made it that way, so I will be the one to detonate the bomb. After all of you are out of the room that I'm to set the bomb. And by the way, Artemis, you look more exhausted than you were three hours ago. What happened?"
Juliet and Diana exchanged grins, while Artemis groaned. "These two mademoiselles so kindly assisted me in learning Tae Kwon Do – a Korean martial art. Although I must admit I find it extremely good for both the soul and body."
Diana laughed. "I told you. I know you would think so. Artemis Fowl is getting more human by the minute."
Artemis raised an eyebrow. "And what precisely do you mean about me becoming more human?"
"I mean becoming like an ordinary teenager. You know, playing sports and such. Maybe if you'd at least try some Coke or chips like we do, or make friends of your own age, you'll become more like one."
" I do not wish have any teenagers to be my friend, and I have none around me." Artemis retorted. "I don't need friends."
"All right, all right. Now let's assemble in the other room. Holly and Julius are waiting." Foaly said.
Foaly, Juliet and Butler left. Only Artemis and Diana were left in the room. Artemis looked at her to see why she wasn't moving. Their eyes met, and much to Artemis's surprise, her stark black eyes looked hurt.
"You know, Artemis," she began slowly. "I could always be your friend. It's only that you never ask."
And then she left the room, leaving Artemis to be very puzzled
