Rumors
Ellen: I'm inclined to agree. I know Lex is evil eventually but Smallville has me convinced that Clark drove him to it. (I'm also convinced Lex knows Clark is Supes, since he's seen Clark sans glasses thousands of times.) But that's a story for later.
Nameless: It's true, Hank and Dove are just… Well, I'm convinced they could make some awesome comic relief. That's why Wally and Don get along so well; they're both goofy. And, since I have no plans to crush Don under a building, it should be interesting. To say the least. And yes. One day Clark is going to snap. At which point he'll A) join Lex and try to take over the world B) move down the morbid end of the JL spectrum, leaving Diana and Don at the 'perky' end all alone.
Hap: The conversation is actually more…snarky that anything else. Lots of back and forth and 'I know this' and 'but I've done this' and…yeah. It's all screwy. The world's finest…
Sarky: Ah, but wouldn't we all love those three as 'friends'? Or just to be allowed to watch…
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Chapter Three
Straws
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He was crouched on top of the warehouse along the docks, watching as the fog rolled in and covered the ground. He was across a small stretch from the place the Gotham museum was storing their American Heroes exhibit until they could get it all looked over and moved into the museum later this week. He'd gotten word that Catwoman was in town and planned to make a bid for it in order to have a peace of 'Great American History' with her.
In honor of the absurd justice system somehow working in Joker's favor of course. He'd not only be released (Again) but he was now planning to run for mayor of the city. And actually had a chance, now that the current mayor had been caught in a...compromising position with a fifteen-year-old girl.
Times like this a Justice Lord type situation didn't seem like such a bad idea. People were so stupid. This was actually worse than Lex Luthor being ahead in the presidential polls. At least Luthor wasn't totally insane.
Just partially. And most of that was Clark's fault.
He sighed as the less than discreet sound of something touching down on the roof. Would it kill the kid to learn a little subtly?
"We have really got to stop meeting like this." Superman's tone was oddly cheerful considering that it was midnight, he was in Gotham, it was December, and was talking to Batman. In fact it was so cheerful Batman knew he was up to something almost immediately.
He frowned. "What do you want?"
"What makes you think I want something?"
"Because you know I'm not against the idea of shoving certain green minerals down your throat and laughing while you choke on them."
The younger man snorted. "You see Bruce; this is why you need therapy."
He glanced sideways at Superman, who stood out starkly against the shadows in his bright royal blue and red costume. This was fine for flying around his city while driving a certain egomaniacal scientist-turned-politician to distraction, but it didn't work so well in the dark bleakness of Gotham.
"I would still like to kill you for that."
Clark snorted darkly, all pretense of Earth's alien golden boy dropping away. It never took Bruce long to break through that shinning pearly exterior to get to the actual man underneath. The man was more bearable than the myth, thank god for Bruce's sanity.
(Somewhere Wally and John snorted.)
"I'd love for you to try."
"Now who's expressing unhealthy desires?" He turned around completely, trusting Clark to let him know if he saw anything out of the ordinary. He was a pain in the ass like no other, but he was a trustworthy pain in the ass.
Clark shrugged and leaned against the leg of the water tower whose shadow he was been half-hidden within. "There is nothing so as unhealthy as sleeping with Wally and John. Besides I think I'm allowed to…express…"
"Masochistic wishes?" He guessed, smirking. Clark didn't even blink.
"I suppose. I'm indestructible after all." He rubbed the back of his head, almost wincing as if in some remembered pain. Bruce arched an eyebrow. "Your boyfriend hit me with a lead pipe."
"Wally hit you with a lead pipe." Clark's lips twitched. Probably because he had known it was Wally without asking. Even if John hadn't been…elsewhere he would have known it was Wally. The redhead was more prone to immediate reactions where as John was more like…a pressure cooker. He worked up to something really terrible and sick and twisted.
John may have actually needed therapy. …not that he was going to be the one to suggest it. He liked keeping all of his important bits (and even the less important parts) right where they were supposed to be.
"Yes."
He considered pointing out that Wally wasn't his boyfriend. Wally was a grown man after all, even if he never acted his age, and Bruce really didn't need any more pedophile rumors circulating. You take on a few teenage assistants and people lost their damn minds… He was pretty sure it had something to do with Catholic Priests but it was entirely too un-PC for him to think about.
"Did it hurt?"
Clark blinked slowly. "A little bit." Bruce nodded. He'd be sure to do something nice for Wally later, if he ever got a chance to take a break. Almost as if Clark was reading his mind he rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you feel motivated to reward him but wouldn't you at least like to know why he was moved to random acts of violence?"
"I doubt it was random."
"Bruce…"
"Does it matter why he did it?"
"Would I be here if it didn't?"
"You're here about Wally? Did you kill him?"
"No…"
"Then no, not really." He shrugged a bit. "I'm not Wally's keeper Clark. You'll have to track down John for that. He's about two galaxies over."
"Funny." Not really. He'd been serious. John was much better at keeping up with Wally than he was. Probably the extra practice. "The basic gist is that the entire tower kind of knows you're all sleeping with each other, in one form or another. It's my fault, I let Kon and Kara run off with it and didn't stop them so I'll handle that end of it."
That gave him a moment's pause.
He didn't particularly care what people thought they knew about him and his personal affairs but at the same time he'd never really be fond of people talking about him behind his back. He knew it tended to happen to people viewed as 'leaders' or in a position of power but he'd never really approved of it. (How'd he ended up as a leader was beyond him, since he seemed to recall being resolved to be as involved as little as possible with the league beyond the financial things.)
He frowned, considering. There were a number of people who stayed away from John and Wally because of their relationship for various reasons. Odds are this would make those same people stay even further away from all three of them. This probably wouldn't help his 'eccentric' reputation any, sleeping with the poster child for Ritalin and a man who could easily be more of a workaholic than he was.
At least Bruce Wayne had a social life. John Stewart…didn't.
There would probably been some tension caused and the rumors would undoubtedly continue to circulate. Rumors made an uncomfortable work place, especially when friends were involved. People on side of a fence would clash with those on the other.
He could picture the ensuing problems very well.
"Why're you telling me this? I would have figured it out."
"…I wasn't planning to actually." Strange how he looked both contrite and smug at the same time. "But Wally caught on and…so here I am."
"You thought that, on a space station floating a couple hundred miles above the earth filled with people who do nothing but save the world and gossip, that Wally wouldn't catch on?" He wasn't sure if he was offended on Wally's behalf or just amused by it. Clark shrugged and he rolled his eyes. "Okay, so Wally caught on. He's mad at you? Did he tell you what a terrible friend you are? Again."
There was a long silence and an embarrassed look that pretty much answered his question.
"You know he's using your massive guilt complex against you don't you?"
"Yes…but this was actually my fault so-"
"Obviously." He stood up. It was late or early if you wished, and if Selina hadn't struck already it was doubtful that she intended to. "So what did he guilt you into doing this time? Breaking the news to me?"
That didn't make sense. Sure he wasn't fond of being talked about but Wally couldn't really think having Clark inform him of the rumors would do anything except…distract him slightly. Picking at Clark was one of his favorite pastimes. He was just so…easy to get riled up and after all of these years of dealing with the most insane of villains it was…well, fun to play head games and not worry about everyone within a mile radius dying.
"Kind of."
"He could have done it himself."
"He thought you'd be upset."
He frowned. "At him?"
Clark shrugged slightly. Bruce shook his head. He knew he could be a little…temperamental from time to time, especially when Gotham was being stricken with selective amnesia and insanity, but still… He thought that by now Wally knew him well enough to know he didn't deflect anger or blame onto people. …as much as he used to.
One good left hook from John to the jaw had taught him the value of letting blame stay with those who deserved it. On the upside Wally had been kind of nice to apply ice to both his face and John's hand later on. After laughing himself stupid of course.
Still Wally shouldn't have thought he'd be upset with him. It didn't make any sense. At least he didn't think it made sense. Wally was almost as unpredictable as he was.
"Okay." He said, glancing at the warehouse on last time. He'd thought for sure tonight was the night. Looks like he'd be staking it out tomorrow too.
"What're you going to do?"
"On the grounds that we aren't sleeping together I don't think it's any of your concern." Clark looked like he might argue so Bruce decided to cut him off. "Letting rumors spread isn't wise you know. What would you do if everyone suddenly knew that you and a certain egomaniacal-sociopath-turned-politician were very close back in Kansas?"
Clark blinked slowly then squinted at him. Bruce just looked back at him. He wondered if this was the part where he finally pushed Clark off the deep end. Wally and John kept saying it was going to happen eventually but he'd had his doubts.
Then again Clark was wound pretty tight.
"How do you know about that?"
"I know everything. It's my job."
"Huh." He seemed to be thinking about something then shrugged. "I'll see you later. By the way Catwoman left. I told her you were seeing someone, two people actually, and she seemed pretty upset about it. Said something about looking up Harley and Ivy."
Bruce glared. Clark smirked before waving and taking off.
Damn it. Now he had to go track down the psycho's answer to women's lib. Not that he could blame Harley for her occasional exploits with Ivy. Working for Joker would do that to a person. Ivy was just…a plant lover. In a very strange and oftentimes disturbingly perverse way. And Selina…well. She was intriguing. Bruce considered her the one who'd always get away.
He'd never really liked the idea of having her locked up with the rest of them. Not that anyone ever stayed locked up around here. How they kept making parole or getting acquitted was beyond him. …well, not really. Apparently 'Batman' wasn't the best witness in the world, in that he never made any court appearances and it was impossible to subpoena him, and juries kept letting people go based on that.
Sometimes he had to agree with John on the 'people are fundamentally idiots' train of thought he seemed so fond of. Then again John was a whole new level of anti-social.
Funny considering how he'd probably dated more League members than anyone else.
Oh well. He had to go fix Clark's mess and think of a way to make him suffer. Maybe he'd just ask John for ideas later.
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Wally was kind of worried. Well…kind of as in a lot. Letting Clark go off and talking to Bruce. This was a bad idea on so many different yet interconnected levels.
He should have said now. He should have just talked to Bruce himself. Curse his low self-worth. He was, at the moment, crashing in John's room. Not that there was anything wrong with his room…beyond not being able to see the floor anymore. It wasn't that he was some kind of super slob, because that wasn't it at all. He always left John's room the way he found it…
It was just that his space was his to do with as he wanted to. And if he wanted to trash it than so be it. He'd get around to cleaning it later on, when he needed something.
He wasn't sure what he was supposed to think about this whole…rumor thing. He normally didn't pay much attention to what other people thought about him and had been known to go so far as to deliberately annoy everyone in his path.
…because…well, it was fun. He had some kind of undercover sadist tendencies…
The reason he was bothered was pretty simple: He didn't care but Bruce and John may have. And that would be bad. He hadn't things changing just when he got used to them.
The door slide open and he sat up, startled. The room was password protected and he could count on hand the number of people who had the password. Him, Bruce, John, and Clark. And Clark was only on that list because he sometimes put dents in things when he knocked.
"Don?"
"Hey." The blond smiled at him mildly then, with a scowl, reached to his side and pulled his brother into view. "Hope you don't mind. Clark let us in so we don't know the password."
"…"
Don nodded as if he'd actually said something then turned back to Hank. The look on his face went from friendly to flat out murderous instantly and, judging by the look on the elders face, he may have meant it.
"Now Hank."
A scowl before Hank muttered something. Don smacked him the arm and he winced, reaching up to rub it while glaring at his brother darkly. "I'm sorry I tried to strangle you Wally. I should know by now that my brother is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, learn how to reign in my silly over-protective streak, and not interfere in his personal affairs no matter who they may be with. I'm also sorry that I believe stupid rumors and jumped to conclusions without considering what kind of people you and my brother are."
This was all said in a practiced monotone as if was reading from cue cards. Wally couldn't help but wonder how many times Don had made him practice that little speech, because it was more Don-speak than Hank-speak, before deciding it was just right.
Don apparently wasn't satisfied yet. He crossed his arms over his chest and his glare intensified. Hank squirmed. Wally nearly choked on his laughter. Oh this was priceless. Shit he hoped those security cameras were catching this…
"…I should be grateful that you want to set my brother up with someone since, for some mysterious reason, every other guy my brother meets never calls back. So…thanks." Hank looked far from happy. "Happy now Don?"
"Exultant."
Hank muttered something that sounded like 'whatever' then turned and stalked off, Don waving at his back with a sardonic grin. Then he turned back to Wally and all traces of 'fierceness' were gone, replaced with the usual good natured and sunny smile.
"So. What's up?"
"That was damn impressive." Wally said while motioning the other man in.
Don nodded as he walked over and sat in the chair John kept by his desk. "It was wasn't it?"
"How'd you do it?"
"Years of positive reinforcement of course." Don's smile was a bit on the ironic side. "All of that 'psychology crap'," A fairly good imitation of Hank was used as he said the last two words. "I studied in college to learn how to settle things peacefully in action. For example, Hank burns water and if I don't cook there's a chance he won't eat. I mention that I'm afraid you're mad at me and that I hate cooking when people are mad at me and he's getting me to help him come up with an apology. He's unhappy about it but still thinks it's his idea."
"Wow. That's…kind of manipulative." Don arched an eyebrow and Wally sniffled dramatically. "I'm so proud of you! I know you could use your head for something useful."
"Thanks. I think." A blink then a shrug. "I did actually want to talk to you-"
"About Hart." Don rolled his eyes heavenward but blushed lightly. Wally smirked. "I wonder if this is how meddling mothers feel. Would you freak out if I said this was cute?"
Don snorted. "You have issues. Extensive deeply rooted issues."
"Yes. What's your point?"
"I was just commenting." He smiled wryly. "And now. I wanted to apologize as well. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like…everyone else. I should have said something to you at least."
Wally shrugged slightly. "Doesn't matter. Long as Bats and John aren't mad I'll be good."
"Still, I should have known better. There're all so silly. I mean, I know you wouldn't cheat on John and even if you did; Batman? He wouldn't go for that. And I don't think you could seduce much of anything-"
"Hey, I'll have you know I'm irresistibly sexy."
"And…well. It was silly."
"Nah." He tilted his head off to the side. "I'm without a doubt sleeping with GL and Bats. Frequently, the last few weeks notwithstanding." Don's eyes were comically wide but Wally knew he hadn't quite reached the blond's limits yet. "And, for that matter, best sex ever. It takes incredibly special people to wear me out but they do-"
"Holy shit Wally, please! I don't want to know about your sex life." Don had his hands clamped over his ears and his eyes shut. Maybe he could read lips. He was also blushing brightly.
Wally laughed. Now he officially was in a good mood again. Disturbing people was always amusing. Between that, hitting Clark, and watching Hank apologize the rumors were pretty much non-important. Hopefully Bruce would take out his annoyance on Clark and all would be well in that department and John…well.
John was John. That pretty much summed it up.
He stood up walked over to the desk. Don was watching him like he half-expected Wally to start up again. He must smiled and pulled open a drawer. He found a pad of paper and a pen, which he knew would be there. John was responsibly predictable that way.
He scribbled quickly then handed it to Don. "Hart wants to meet you there. Leave your brother at home, please."
"Even I'm not that oblivious Wally." Don rolled his eyes. "I just fake it well. You doing anything tonight?"
"Nope."
"Wanna hang out."
"Aren't you worried about rumors?"
Don shrugged. "Considering what a prude everyone thinks I am, sleeping with you can only make me looked better."
"Oh. Maybe I should charge for my services then." Don choked back what sounded like a laugh while Wally frowned. "That sounded really…wrong."
Don nodded his agreement.
Wally was willing to chalk it all up to lack of sex.
