Thanks to. . .

Aerinha – I know what my rabbit would say if he could talk: "Hey, you. The one who gives me food. Got carrots? I'm hungry. I'm bored. I'm cold. Hey, where you going?"

Miss Piratess – My horse knowledge is not exactly fantastic, but I think I might be right about them. . .

mythicalmemory – No, somehow I don't think it will make any sense at all. I'm random like that. And if it makes you happy, I knew you were a girl. I haven't read Treasure Box that I remember. . .who is it by?

rainkisser – Please! Don't hurt me! Look, a new chapter and an onion bagel!

Sirenic Griffin – Of course you got a mention! I like your ideas about why Dekci is a witch and not a fairy. . .yum. Cookies. They help MY brain freezes, but it could just be my addiction to chocolate. . .

Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Princesses and Fairies (Again)

This is where we stop talking about all the main characters and introduce six brand-new characters who will never be talked about again after this chapter: Princesses Hermosa, Belle, Mädchen, Ragazza, Meisje, and Menina. They all came from different countries. Hermosa came from Pidpod, Belle came from Udus, Mädchen came from Aufidstein, Ragazza came from Fois-gifis, Meisje came from Duas, and Menina came from Waratapasadafagahajakalazaxacavabanam, or, as everyone called it for short, Waratapas.

All these princesses were presently with the very King and Queen who were mother and father to Menon. Why, you ask? It so happens that the king's advisor, Fijipidisipigit, who happened to come from Waratapas, could see into the future. He saw that Menon would break the spell very soon, so they arranged to have all these princesses come so they could choose who would marry Menon and become Princess of Goho, where Menon was from. (They forgot he and the first girl he kissed would be in love with each other and so they would have to marry, because they were old and selfish.)

So, they tested each one to see which one Menon would marry. Hermosa went first, then Belle, then Mädchen, etc. There were many tests put together to form the whole test.

HERMOSA'S TESTS

Hermosa passed the first test. She waited until everyone sat down before seating herself. She did not even really think about it. It was a habit.

Hermosa passed her second test. She said please and thank you and your welcome and bless you and excuse me and called everyone sir and ma'am.

Hermosa failed her third test. She did not like salted, peppered, pickled brussel sprout roots covered with melted Gohoin orange and purple cheese and thick Gohoin pork gravy. That was the king and queen's favorite food.

Hermosa passed her forth test. She felt the pea under the 100 mattresses. She hated peas. She could smell it, and so knowing it was there, she felt it.

BELLE'S TESTS

Belle passed the first test. She waited until everyone sat down before seating herself. She really had a spot on her dress that she had to rub off. By the time she was done, everyone else was sitting.

Belle failed her second test. She did not say please when she wanted something, thank you when she got something, you are welcome when someone said thank you, bless you when someone sneezed or coughed, or excuse me when she sneezed or coughed, and she never once called anyone sir or ma'am.

Belle aced her third test. She actually loved salted, peppered, pickled brussel sprout roots covered with Gohoin orange and purple cheese and butter sauce and thick Gohoin pork gravy. It's the honest truth.

Belle failed her forth test. She did not feel the pea because she slept like a rock. Well, really, she slept on a rock. She could not get up on top of the 100 mattress bed, so she slept on the floor.

If you really want to hear the details for the rest of the girls, ask them. Mädchen passed one and failed three. Ragazza aced all of them beautifully and with a great flourish, Meisje failed them all with a great flourish. Menina failed two and passed two. The king and queen said 'thank you' to Hermosa, Belle, Mädchen, Meisje, and Menina. They said 'call your parents and tell them you are going to be married' to Ragazza.

Hermosa whispered something to Belle, who whispered back and then whispered to Meisje, and they all whispered in a little group while Ragazza, glowing with pleasure, called up her parents on the fonietele.

Menina said, "Yes, let's do it!"

Meisje said, "Tonight if we can!"

Belle said, "We will get our revenge!"

Hermosa sighed, "It will be sweet!"

Mädchen laughed maniacally. It would seem strange that Ragazza did not hear any of this, but she was quite engrossed as it was in telling her parents every single little detail.

As the night wore on, the king and queen of Goho were trying very hard to get the other five princesses home. Of course, the other five princesses were sick with the raging fever and measles and the flu and cholera all at once. So, of course, they could not possibly go home. The princesses all went into separate rooms in the sick hall. At 11:00, Belle sneaked out of her room and knocked on one, two, three, four doors, hissing, "Quick! Go! Go!"

The four slim and one quite plump shadowy figures crept along the hallways to Ragazza's door. Hermosa and Menina stood guard as Mädchen opened the door and she, Belle, and Meisje tip-toed into the darkness. There was a muffled scream, and Meisje and Belle carried a lump of sheets, hair and limbs and dumped it on the floor while Mädchen closed the door. The four slim, one plump, and one unconscious (and if she wasn't she would be shocked) figures crept down the cryptic hallway and disappeared into the nothingness.


Kokie and Menon were sitting in the house of Wa-jif. "So, Wacko-diff. . ."

"Wa-kod-if. . ." corrected Wa-kod-if with a sigh.

"Oh, right, Wa-kod-if. You seeing anyone?" Kokie asked with a gulp.

"I see my family every day, and I'm looking at you right now. . ." replied Wa-kod-if, confused.

"I mean, like, dating." Sighed Kokie, rolling her eyes

"Oh, no, I haven't even had a crush yet." Said Wa-kod-if, pushing his bangs back, thinking, she is kind of cute. . .

"Me, neither." Said Kokie, thinking, he is kind of cute. . .


When Ragazza woke up, her side hurt and her head hurt, and she had no idea where she could be. Then she remembered the night before, and wondered what had happened since the sort of plump girl had knocked her out. She opened her eyes and it was really bright.

Oh, dear, Mother will kill me, she thought when she saw her 'sleeping' dress, which was so dirty you could not even see the shimmering silver dove pattern that had been there previously. She said, 'I will let you borrow all my best dresses and here, pack all yours. Now, do not ruin any of them, I expect them to be perfectly clean. . .'

She sat up and looked upon the world around her. It was late afternoon, Ragazza could tell (she was no dummy) and she was in the woods. She saw, in the far distance, a lake and realized she was very thirsty. She gingerly got up, shocking herself fully awake with the pain running through her legs. She limped and stumbled over to the lake (which was quite impressive, considering her shape and the distance, which was around a half a mile). Once she got there, she fell to her knees and lapped up the water.

Soaking in the sun and the scenic countryside around her, she mused, I could run for it. After all, did I really want to marry a prince who is somewhere I do not know? Is that it for my life? Marry a prince and - poof- happily ever after? That sort of thing only happens in fairy tales. I like this place, and besides, I have no idea where I am. This could be any lake, anywhere. I could find a village and make up a new, normal name like Alice and maybe I will meet my lover or find out what I am good at besides winning beauty contests. I have always wanted to try painting or maybe writing. . .

So, Ragazza, I mean Alice, moved to Dhaka. Alice discovered she had an undeniable talent for mural painting. She met a man named George, whom she fell in love with. They had sixteen children all named after colors, like Lilac, Rose, Aqua and Marine, who all grew up to be painters. If anyone ever lived happily ever after, it was surely her.

So, you may be wondering, "What happens to all those other evil princesses? Do they get their just desserts?" Well, good things come to those who wait. So, wait!

Hermosa, though her plan was quite vast, forgot a minuscule tiny thing: what the king, or indeed anyone, would think if someone just disappeared into nothingness. It so happened that the king and queen were very shallow minded, and happened to think, Oh, pooh. Another contest.

When they complained aloud, Hermosa piped up and said, "Oh, but couldn't you just take the second - oof!"

"Pardon me, my dear? Take the second oaf?" said King Tusury Rikily, who was a third deaf.

"I do believe that she said take the second oath." Said Queen Zemare Lolher-Rikily, who was a half deaf.

"What did you say, child?" King Tusury asked her.

Hermosa, rubbing her shin where three skinny and one plump foot had contacted, mumbled, "Nothing," and stared at the salted, peppered, pickled brussel sprout roots. She was going to say, "the second place winner," but the rest of the princesses wouldn't have it.

"Pardon me, my dear? Nothing of what?" asked Tusury, with a large bite of chicken in his mouth.

"I do believe she said puffing." Zemare said, shaking her finger at her husband. "You will have to see Dr. Pecibul about your hearing."

"Why, I don't own any earrings." Tusury replied,

"Why, of course you do. There's Symmu Earin, Hyathy Earin, their brother, and their parents. . ." Zemare trailed off.

"There aren't any ants in this castle!" yelled Tusury confidently. And so, the morning blew past. Hermosa, Belle, Meisje, Menina and Mädchen all went home disappointed. The king and queen were too busy arguing to remember their son would be freed from his spell.


Kokie and Wa-kod-if were talking like old friends. They had a lot in common. Menon was talking to Fa-sud about Mera.

"Five years. . .that's funny. Five years ago, I was still human, and -"

Kokie interrupted Menon suddenly and joined the conversation. "I was still a fly and -"

"Mera was still alive," sighed Fa-sud, looking reminiscent.

"Yeah," said Wa-kod-if. "A lot has changed in five years."

Murmurs of agreement hopped through the small crowd. And the morning fluttered by, and they all laughed and had quite a lovely time.


Yhpar and Egnaro were having tea, and Yhpar was explaining about the lost fairy. "Another one of those blondes. Got lost from Andromeda to the Milky Way. The Milky Way! I couldn't believe it. There are some pretty pathetic people out there, Eg."

"I won't argue with you at all! One of them call for help when a snake - a speckled snake - comes near them. Specks don't even have teeth! They're herbivores!" Egnaro complained, taking another sip of tea. "My, this is rich tea."

"Polla makes it that way. It's better for your health." Yhpar changed the subject back. "I swear I haven't helped a single person who had the brains to do anything but breathe."

"Oh, Yhpar, you know that it's not good to generalize. But I do agree with you. If we could educate them, make them learn, our job would be oh-so-much easier." Egnaro swallowed the rest of her tea.

"You been busy?" Yhpar questioned, filling her cup.

"No, no one's needed help in the Golden Forest since -" she paused, counting on her hands. "- since almost five years ago!"

"Wow, that's some vacation, huh? You gone anywhere?"

"We-ell. . .I did visit the future." Said Eg.

Yhpar slammed down her cup, sloshing coffee everywhere and receiving a 'not-that-again' look from poor Polla. "Oh, I have always wanted to do that. I just could never find the right time."

"That busy?" asked Egnaro, wiping the place that Yhpar had spilled with her napkin.

"No, that choosy," Yhpar clarified. "So, when and where did you go?"

"To 3005. The 31st century. I went and saw the new London Bridge." Said Egnaro.

"My cousin, Lufpleh, went there once, I think." Yhpar said.

"3005 or the new London Bridge?" asked Egnaro.

"3005." Yhpar called to Polla, "We are out of tea, dear."

Polla, with a very hot pitcher of tea, commented, "Why, but you do drink it quicker than a fox chasing a rabbit!"

"Well, before your vacation, who was your last helpee?" inquired Yhpar.

"Oh, oh, oh. . ." There was a quite long pause before Eg said, "Oh, yes, remember that servant girl?"

"Who wanted to go to the castle?"

"Yeah." Egnaro clinked her spoon against the table. "You know, I never looked her up. I can't remember why I didn't. All I know is I didn't."

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! Let's do it right know!"

"You have a remoc?" cried Eg, using the abbreviation for retummoc. A retummoc is a very advanced computer-like machine that has stored in its memory every single living animal in the whole universe. Fairies are not really 'magical', they are just VERY technologically advanced. That's why they thought humans were especially stupid and absolutely hated unclever fairies. They figured out how to fly and disappear while man was creating the wheel. And we are supposed to be soooooo smart! If only the fairies had left some of their technology here before they left to another galaxy in about 1800. . .well, anyway. Since the humans thought they weren't real, they had to live underground and in the shadows before they got so tired of it that they waged war against human kind and - well, that's another story.

"I just got it last summer. C'mon, c'mon, let's go." Yhpar and Eg left their hot tea and ran to the remoc.

"Okay, name, Mera Wuos."

"Spell?"

"Em-ee-are-a. Double-you-you-oh-ess."

"Gender."

"Female, obviously."

"I was just making sure. Place of birth."

"Stoke-Smack, er, uh, Snake-Stock, er, ah, well, uh. . .Smoke-Stack."

"What?"

"Stoke, ah, Smoke-Stack."

"Ess-em-oh-kay-ee, ess-tee-a-see-kay. Is that two words?"

"With a slash, I think."

"Well, that's it."

"What's it say, what's it say?"

"Hold on."

"Well, well, what does it say! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"Hold on!"

"Is it done searching?"

"Hold on!"

"Now is it?"

"Just! Hold! on!"

"Sheesh, Yhpar. You don't have to yell in my ear, you know."

"Okay, okay, it's coming. Look, look, look!"

"Yeah, that's her. Oh, no! No, not that!"

Egnaro had very good reason to say 'not that!' For this is what Mera's file stated clearly:

Mera Wuos, human being,
24 years h.b., 48 maas g.u.h., 6 years o.o.m., 8 kals,
File 34,234 22 2 22,407-3246 gack
Current State: under a spell, sleeping until royalty disguised as a frog until it kisses a sleeping servant kisses them
Current place: The Golden Forest
Last Words Spoken: Could you be a little quieter?
Last Member encountered: Egnaro Nedlog Tserof (fairy)
Last Creature encountered: Queen Raven Black of Mahaska, currently of Pluto
Picture of creature at the present moment: (here was a picture of Mera, sleeping under a lot of leaves. After all, she had been under a big tree for five years and no one had bothered to rake all of them, but, of course, the rake hadn't been invented, but the point is that she was quite hidden from view and really many people had passed by her, not realizing, of course, there was an almost living and breathing person under that huge mound of old, brown leaves.)

And that is why Eg said, "No!"

"Oh, no! No, no!" she said again. "Oh, we have to help her!"

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