A/N: *hangs head in shame* I'm SORRY!!!! I am so sorry I haven't updated. This was supposed to be up Sunday night, but then my dad wouldn't let me get on, and I've been too busy! I know, I know, you're not interested in excuses, but I want you to know I DID think about you guys and the agony you have to be going through. :-)
50 reviews!! Yeah!! You guys are waaaaaaay too nice to me, but hey, I'll take it as it comes. Although you guys have this idea that I've got some sort of plot going on here. *looks around* Plot? Really? Gee, I wish I could see it…well, I'll find it one of these days. I'm getting towards one, I really am! I think. Oh, I just posted a Harry Potter ficlet I wrote before OotP came out…go read it…and I've got another I'm working on as a sporadically updated fluff…read it too…. Um…I can't say anything else here, without ruining the chapter, so…go ahead and read it.
Disclaimer: Still not mine. :-( But one of these days…anyone, onto
Chapter 5
Huntsville International Airport
"He LEFT!" Holly exclaimed as they walked through the private hangers. "The jet's gone!"
"Maybe he thought he knew where we were," Juliet offered appeasingly, though she also looked worried.
"I'm sure he had something in mind when he left," Butler said. "He didn't know where you had gone, after all."
"But you two—he was quite worried about you. I can't believe he would take off, knowing where you were." Holly sat down on a crate and ran a hand through her hair, which was longer than she was used to and was rather annoying, tickling her eartips. "And I want to be three feet tall again. But before that, I want to get out of this dress."
They had been searching for Artemis
for a few hours. As soon as they had
entered Huntsville, they had gone to the police station, only to be informed
that a police benefactor known as "Mo Digence" had taken the teenager with him
(much to the dismay of the two CIA agents at the station). From there they had decided to go to the residence
of this Mr. Digence, only to discover he lived in California. So, as a last resort, they tried the
airport. That, too, had turned up
blank.
"Now, Holly," Foaly said in
her ear, "calm down and think. Maybe
Artemis didn't take the jet."
"What, are you suggesting Opal Koboi took it?" she snapped. The Butler siblings twisted their heads to look at her, then realized she was speaking to Foaly and resumed their examination of the hanger.
"It's entirely possible," the centaur said calmly. "She was probably able to find it. And for all we know, this Mo Digence character is on her pay list. I mean, there's no telling where the boy is."
"He's fifteen," Holly pointed out. "I wouldn't call him a boy anymore."
"Teenager, then," Root cut in. Holly guessed he had heard Foaly mention their lack of knowledge concerning Artemis's whereabouts and had come in to badger the centaur. "Anyway, I would suggest you take the Butlers back to Ireland, and continue pursuing Koboi from there."
"Wouldn't it be more useful to have them around, sir?" she argued quietly. "We know Opal's got a larger operation than expected, and their experience would be invaluable. Butler might not be too physical anymore, but he has a wealth of knowledge. Juliet can handle the physical area."
"Captain," Root said, "if you would please recall that they're not supposed to know about any of this anyway. Just take them back to Ireland. With any luck, they'll stay there."
"Are you suggesting we not rewipe their minds?"
"First of all, we don't know what that might do to their psychology," Foaly cut in.
"Secondly, I have no desire to go before the Council and inform them that, due to chance, Fowl regained his memory," Root continued. "They find out you were there, and your career's gone, Short."
"Point," she acknowledged. "But—"
"What's the debate?" Juliet asked, coming to sit on a crate next to the elf.
"Commander Root's trying to decide what we should do with you and your brother," Holly told her.
"Short, I told you—"
"We'll help you with whatever you need," Juliet said, frowning slightly. "I would think Root would know that."
"That's what I said," Holly said, putting an edge into her voice. "But the current thought is that maybe we should just leave in you Ireland and get your word that you'll leave the fairies alone. By all accounts, you shouldn't understand any of this, anyway."
Butler came over. "Have they called the manor yet?"
"What?" asked Holly and, although he couldn't hear, Root and Foaly.
The giant manservant shrugged. "I believe that, should he be away from the manor for a long time or planning such, Artemis would call his parents. He hates for them to worry, although he doesn't like to show it. He's…well, to put it into his terms, 'very attached' to his parents."
"You know, I think that's the most emotional I've ever heard Fowl," Root commented to Holly.
Holly thought back to when Butler had been shot, and more recently, to Fowl's outbreak on the Lear jet. "He has moments, every now and then."
"You would know," Foaly said quietly.
"SHUT UP!"
"What's that about?" Root demanded.
"Holly?" Juliet asked.
The elf smiled tightly. "Foaly has…certain…delusions…that he sometimes feels the need to vent on me."
"If I wasn't telling the truth, you wouldn't react so violently," the centaur pointed out. Holly started taking deep breaths through her nose.
"Back to the subject of Fowl's parents," she said firmly, drowning out Root's demanding voice, "I think Butler's onto something. Can you hook something up, Foaly, to where we can talk to them, too?"
"Of course! Just hold on a second…" The usual clacking of keys, then, "All right, we're through. They just have to pick up…let's see…"
Fowl Manor, Ireland
Artemis and Mulch caught a cab from the Lear's hanger back to the manor. They trip was quiet, with Artemis attempting to control his raging emotions and puzzle out how he felt; meanwhile, Mulch seemed to catch on that he wasn't interested in communicating with the outside world and spent the ride counting a stack of hundred dollar bills.
"Now," Artemis said, as they went around the house to the kitchen door, "please remember that I have no desire to discuss any feelings I might have in the area of romance in general."
"Gotcha," Mulch said obediently.
"You're a friend of Holly's whom we met in America. The two of you switched out."
"Got that too."
"If Mother or Father ask any questions, defer to me. If I thought you were capable of acting mute I would order you so. As it is, try to speak as little as possible."
Mulch nodded, and while Artemis nodded as well, he couldn't help but worry about that mischievous glint in the dwarf's eyes. In the kitchen Artemis retrieved an organically grown carrot for Mulch and a bar of chocolate for himself. While he usually strayed away from sweets, preferring balanced, healthy meals, chocolate had a soothing quality that he appreciated very much at the moment. He pulled back the wrapping and took a thoughtful bite, trying to organize his brain enough for him to act naturally in front of his parents. As naturally as they expected, anyway.
Artemis and Angeline Fowl were in the study, relaxing on the plush leather couch and sipping from martini glasses while watching Four Weddings and a Funeral. It was a movie they had insisted Artemis II wasn't old enough to watch, and he wasn't interested in R-rated romantic comedies anyway.
"Oh, Arty, darling," Angeline said, smiling at him when he came in. "Right on time. Someone's on the computer for you."
Artemis was glad he had called ahead to explain. He circled his father's desk and moved the mouse as he sat in the chair. What he saw was not what he had been expecting see.
"Finally," Commander Root said.
Mulch darted behind the chair and crouched down by the wheels. Artemis ignored him and said, "Commander Root. What do you want?"
"We found him!" Foaly's voice said, not speaking to Artemis but to…
"All right, Butler, you were right," Holly said.
Artemis couldn't see her, but he recognized his feelings of elation and relief at hearing her voice. He quelled most of it (although he let the relief stay, figuring it was only natural), but her name escaped his lips. "Holly! You're all right!"
Mulch sniggered from the floor. Artemis absently aimed a kick in his direction.
"Yes, Artemis, I'm all right," she said. "And you'll be glad to know the Butlers are, too."
"Butler? Juliet?" he said.
"Artemis!" Juliet answered happily.
Butler's deep voice was faint, as though traveling through two sets of microphones and speakers. "You're out of jail, then?"
"Yes," Artemis said. "Please keep your voices quiet. My parents are in the room. I take it you both remember?"
"Everything," Juliet said. "Oh, I can't wait to see fairy wrestling."
"I have dwarf fat in my face. Mulch Diggums's fat, from a region of his anatomy I'd rather not discuss," Butler added. "So yes, I remember everything."
This comment made Mulch snicker and sniff in indignation at the same time, producing what sounded possibly like a mouse choking. "What was that?" Root demanded.
Artemis didn't bother with the age-old throat-clearing excuse. "It sounded like a mouse was choking. Is Foaly all right?"
"Hey!" the centaur said. Artemis could hear Holly laughing over the speaker and willed himself to stay calm.
"Yes, yes, this reunion has been very touching and all," Root interrupted, "and now that we know Fowl is alive, Short can take the Butlers to Ireland. We'll get their word that they'll leave us alone, the Council never finds out about this, and Holly can go back to chasing Koboi."
Artemis raised his eyebrow. "Funny, Commander, but I didn't hear the words 'mind wipe' in that at all."
"If we had to request another mind wipe, the Council would discover you had regained your memory, and it wouldn't go down well at all," the Commander said, looking as though each and every word would kill him.
"That, and Holly's career would be ruined," Foaly added, as though suggesting another incentive. Artemis assumed the best puzzled look he had (it was rarely employed, so he doubted if its effects were conveyed properly), though inwardly he froze. Was he really that obvious, if Foaly had figured it out?
From the floor, Mulch was inhaling and exhaling rather quickly. "Foaly," Holly said, her heavily annoyed tone carrying through. Artemis had another panic attack. "That's enough."
A real snicker escaped Mulch at her words. Artemis rolled backwards in his chair. "OW! That was my toe!"
"What was that, Fowl?" Root demanded, his face suddenly pinching and brightening. "That sounded suspiciously like…"
"It's Mulch Diggums, Commander," Artemis said, a vicious smile on his face. Take that, thought a highly unsophisticated part of his brain.
"The convict?" Foaly's voice said.
Mulch stood up precariously on one leg, the other clutched in his hands, and looked at the screen in what Artemis assumed to be a dignified manner. "I am not a convict anymore, Foaly, and I would kindly ask you to remember that."
Something that sounded like a horse snorting came through. "You'll always be a convict," Root said. "No matter what your lawyer says."
"I haven't done anything illegal in…" Mulch looked up, appearing to think. "Well, it's been so long since I've done something I can't remember."
"You always did have a short attention span," Holly broke in. "Perhaps we should adjourn this meeting until I bring the Butlers back to Ireland. We can decide what to do then."
"Here?" Artemis said before he could control his panic attack.
Root eyed him. "Yes, Fowl. Your manor. Unless you have another place in mind?"
The teenager couldn't think up anything that wasn't woefully inadequate to reply. "All right. Tomorrow night, eight o'clock?"
"Agreed," said Root, who then turned away from the screen. "Now how do you shut this thing down?"
"Sever the connection," Foaly said, a hairy arm appearing on the screen.
"You techs—" Root started as the connection ended and Windows reappeared on the screen. Artemis leaned forward, pushed the button to turn off the screen, and collapsed back into his chair, rubbing his face. Mulch sat down on the floor, rubbing the offended toe.
"Nervous, Artemis?" he asked.
Artemis didn't answer. He didn't want to answer.
Haven
Ruby Ohmson was not a happy pixie. Apparently, the Fowl heir had lost all interest in her illegal soap company (which used blubber from illegal whale poaching) in favor of her former classmate Opal Koboi. She snorted. Honestly. Although, she wasn't surprised; from what she knew of the boy, he valued his life above the lives of whales. She didn't blame him, considering she shared his sentiments. But still. If he didn't come after her, she wouldn't have an excuse to kill him. And that would ruin all her fun.
Ruby Ohmson's official profession was that of interior decorator who did some inventing on the side. Her hobby was ruining other people's ambitions. She loved nothing more than to steal someone's schematics, build a functional model, and be the first to call in for a patent. The look of the true inventor's face was just priceless (she knew, because she had pictures of all her victims hanging in her bedroom). And while she was quite willing to help Opal Koboi plot revenge against the Mud Men, she planned upon killing Fowl herself. The look on old Opal's face…. She sighed happily, imagining the scene for a few precious seconds.
Then she went back to work. Currently she was trying to make a model of the Mud Poison that actually worked; she had sent Opal her last failed prototype. It was very difficult; she had hacked into the LEP's database no less than seven times, trying to locate the specific technologies she would need. When Koboi Laboratories had gone bankrupt and been forced to sell all its patents, she had bought those, too. Opal was currently in possession of two of them, out of the kindness of Ruby's heart.
It was nearly two o'clock in the afternoon, and Ruby had an appointment for eight o'clock that night. She really needed to get some sleep. But…she tapped her red fingernails on the desk, staring at a report of some centaur's (Colt, maybe? Or Calfy—yes, that was it, Calfy—pitiful name for a technological genius, really) and trying to figure out how the LEP could approve anything of the centaur's when they obviously couldn't understand any more of the report than she could. What on earth was a Dell? And what were the obscure references to Tech TV and the BBC?
Her Mud Man cell phone beeped (she had bought one to avoid questions about why Mud Men would be calling her regular phone), interrupting her thoughts. "Ruby Ohmson speaking," she said.
"Miss Ohmson?" came a thick Russian voice.
"Ah, Nicholas," she said. "I assume you have a report?"
"The police came by here again, asking to see our permits," he said nervously. She knew exactly what he was thinking: she had tired of him and tipped off the police herself.
"Don't worry, Nicholas. I assure you, those permits will never expire. Now, tell me, does the new targeting system work?"
"Like a dream," he answered, and for five minutes babbled on about how wonderful the targeting system was. Ruby suppressed a sigh; that sort of technology was used in fairy children water guns.
"Well, I'm very happy for you, but this isn't a secure connection," she interrupted when he paused for breath. "Now, remember, if anyone named Fowl approaches you, call me immediately. And remind me to give you a pay raise."
"Yes, ma'am," he said enthusiastically, right before hanging up. Ruby closed her phone and rubbed her forehead; dealing with ignorant Mud Men gave her a headache. But that would soon be over, she consoled herself. The sooner she finished work on the Mud Poison, the better.
With that thought in mind, she returned to her schematics.
Fowl Manor
To Holly's surprise, Artemis greeted both Butler and Juliet with a hug, as did the elder Fowls. Angeline also greeted Holly with a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. It had been four days, and the Mud Maid potion was still in effect, so there were no awkward comments about her height.
"Really quite pleased to see you again, Miss Holly," Artemis Fowl I said with a bit of a wink. "Of course, Artemis brings home strange people all the time, but I must say, you remain the prettiest."
"Yes, our latest house guest is not the most attractive," Angeline said. "But that's enough, Timmy, leave Arty some space."
She gave one final, shaking-her-head-and-smiling look at her son and started for the kitchen, soon joined by her husband. "Your parents are nice," Holly commented. "Nicer than my mother, anyway."
"What's she like?" Artemis asked, looking genuinely interested.
Holly shrugged. "Before Dad died, she was a little overbearing, but when he was gone she jumped all over my case. Practically disowned me over joining the LEP, and the fact that I'm still there and not 'properly settled down' is a big bone of contention."
"That has to suck," Juliet said. "So, what's the plan, Arty?"
He cocked
an eyebrow and shrugged. "I didn't
really have one."
"What?" Holly gasped, pressing
a hand to her heart. "What was that? No evil schemes to take over Haven?"
He blinked at her, his face completely neutral. "Nothing evil."
"Legal?" Now Holly pretended to faint. "Don't tell me you've gone straight!"
"Actually, he has," said a glum voice from below her, while Artemis gave her a glare without any real force behind it.
"Diggums!" Holly cried, surprised to find a bit of real delight inside her at meeting the kleptomaniac. "You know, between you being released and Artemis's amnesia, life at the LEP just hasn't been the same."
"You mean you've had nothing but deskwork and the occasional rouge goblin to deal with," the dwarf said, pretending to wipe away a tear. "It's so nice to be needed."
"Smelly!" Juliet said. "I'll give you a hug."
"Please, don't," Butler and Mulch said at the same time.
Artemis cleared his throat. "Sitting room, I think?"
"That'll do," Holly said, falling into step next to him. "We'll leave Juliet and the convict to their little romantic meeting."
"Absolutely not!" Butler said flatly, following, joined by the remaining two.
"Ew!" the two romantic subjects in question exclaimed. "Oh, gross," Juliet added. "Really. Sick. That was low, Holly."
"Actually," Mulch said, as though discussing the weather, "speaking of romance—"
Artemis stopped and turned around so quickly Holly's hair ruffled. "What about it?" he asked in a tight voice, eyes promising murder.
"I was simply going to ask if Butler had anyone in his life," Mulch said, his face the dwarven picture of innocence, which was to say, he was undeniably guilty of something.
In the interest of relaxing, Holly had removed her microphone, iris cam, and earpiece, so there were no snide remarks from Foaly. She watched Artemis visibly relax, while Butler shot the boy an inquisitive look and said, "I might be unable to protect Artemis as well as before, but that doesn't mean I've had time to go girlfriend hunting. Nothing going on there."
"So, Artemis, ready to tell me about your secret girlfriend?" Juliet teased as they entered the sitting room and sat down.
He sighed. "I do not have a secret girlfriend."
Holly purposefully sat next to him on the loveseat before Juliet could. "That would be so cute," she said, crossing her legs and leaning back, sitting closer to the middle.
"Right." Artemis's voice cracked halfway through the word; he cleared his throat, now looking annoyed, but not enough to distract her from the red on his neck. Mulch began a hacking cough, leaning over to hide his expression from the others. The Irish teenager glared at him.
"I can see it now," Holly continued. "'Oh, Jessica,'" she said in a deep voice, "'you're so beautiful. I have a gift for you.
"'Oh, Arty-smarty, you shouldn't have,'" she continued in a high-pitched voice. Then deep again, "'But Jessica, I had to. And so, I'd like to give to you the Lower Elements, which I have just conquered, and name it after you.'"
Juliet giggled. Once Artemis had stopped laughing enough to speak he said, "Only her name wouldn't be Jessica. I abhor that name. It's too flowery, no substance to it."
"What name would it be?" Holly asked, a small smile on her face as she watched his nervous face.
He shrugged, performing admirably well under the circumstances. "I'll jump that hurdle when I reach it, Captain."
"Well, what sort of names do you like?" she asked again, looking up at him with a pleading smile on her face, silently thanking her old schoolmate Flira Tacious for teaching her to flirt.
He cleared his throat, not really looking at her. "I don't know. Juliet is a nice name, I suppose. Andrea—I suppose I prefer names that start with 'a,' for obvious reasons." Suddenly he sent her a suspicious look. "Why do you care?"
She rolled her eyes innocently, her lips pressed in a slight smile, as she sighed slightly and looked aside. "Oh, I don't know."
While looking across the room she discovered Mulch was huddled underneath his chair, rocking with what she assumed to be silent laughter; Butler wasn't looking in their direction at all; Juliet was biting at her lip and looking away, a huge smile on her face. She looked back to Artemis, who was taking the opportunity to study her with his head cocked.
"You're still tall," he observed.
"I know," she said. "Wait. Stand up."
He obeyed and she followed. "What?"
"I want to figure out how tall I am," she said, tilting her head slightly to look up at him, finding herself caught in his face and thinking it was a nice face when it showed emotion. She shook herself mentally; she certainly couldn't start thinking like that, gracious. "How tall are you?"
"About five foot seven, I suppose," he said, looking down at her, his face completely emotionless and not nearly as attractive, making it easier for her to concentrate. "I think you're about five four, perhaps."
"Oh," she said, racking her brain for ideas, well aware of his burning stare but not meeting it, suddenly almost intimidated. "Well, I—"
She stepped forward and somehow—when remembering the incident, she couldn't figure it out—tripped and fell into Artemis, knocking him down to land heavily on the loveseat. There was an "oof" as the wind went out of him, as his arms automatically went around her. Her face buried in his chest, dress tangled around her legs which were limp atop his, she felt herself turn red.
"Excuse me," Butler, Juliet, and Mulch all said at once. The door slammed shut behind them.
Holly became acutely aware of the tenseness of Artemis's body, how his shirt was just barely damp, like he had been sweating, how he smelled nice—whatever cologne he had put on was very appealing. The weight of his arms around her was comfortable on her mid-back, and his breath was coming in shallow gasps. At the same time, she realized how very contented she was; how being in his arms, practically on top of him, was not as bad as one might expect. She felt betrayed by her emotions.
"Holly." Artemis's voice was a hoarse whisper, as though he didn't trust himself to be any louder.
"I—I'm a little stuck," she said, taking a deep breath, again inhaling whatever he had on. "What are you wearing?"
"What?" he asked.
She lifted her head and rested her chin gently on his stomach, staring up at him. "You smell good," she explained. "Did you put something on?"
Amazement crossed his face. "I found something in my father's bathroom,"
he admitted. "You can tell?"
"Mh-hm." She breathed in again. "It smells really good. Did you—" she hesitated; suddenly his
emotions didn't seem so silly, it wasn't a big joke "—did you put it on for
me?"
"Maybe," he said, now giving
her this gentle look, almost smiling, looking far older than fifteen—but in a
good way, for a change. "Do you care?"
She found herself fascinated by his gaze, which revealed nothing and challenged and intrigued her more than it should have. A dim part of her woke up and wondered if this was a compromising situation. "Maybe," she breathed; suddenly embarrassed, she buried her face in his stomach again, then realized how that would look. But he was so warm and comforting…. Looking up, she swore, "Damn it, Artemis, I'm an LEP officer!"
"I know," he said, almost sighing. "Don't think it hasn't occurred to me. But I have an excuse, Holly…I'm a teenager."
"I don't have an excuse," she murmured, losing herself in blue eyes that wanted to hold her. "D'arvit."
His arms suddenly left her, and she slid ever so slightly down his knee, but then his hands returned, helping her back onto the loveseat, eyes never leaving her face. Once she was sitting next to him, he reached out a hand and lightly brushed her face.
Still warm from lying against him, Holly felt herself blush again, and realized he was blushing just as much, and then his hands were cupping her face and his lips were brushing against hers, lightly, then harder…she closed her eyes, and they lingered in contact…but then he pulled away. When she opened her eyes, his face was blank.
"I expect they're all out in the hall, laughing," Artemis said calmly, back to being the genius. "We've been in here too long without you running out, looking indignant and complaining about how I'm trying to rape you or some nonsense."
She grinned in spite of herself, catching on. "Oh, yes, they're bound to be suspicious." Carefully she took a deep breath and stood up, straight. "Are you going to come after me, apologizing and insisting I'm being a fool?"
He looked up at her. "I don't think my knees would hold me," he said, a slight smile on his face. She knew that was all the admission she'd receive from him that maybe, just maybe, the events of the past few minutes had meant something. At least for now, at least until they were alone again in unsuspicious circumstances.
"All right, then," she said. "I'll see you in a few minutes, Artemis. I'm going to ask Juliet to find me some new clothes."
"It's a pretty dress," he offered. "And, Holly…call me Arty."
She smiled slightly. "All right, Arty."
He closed his eyes, smiling slightly, and she left, suddenly unsure as to what had just happened, confused about what her feelings were, wondering what she would do if she ever admitted to them.
Outside, Juliet and Mulch were bent over, sniggering, while Butler smiled featurelessly. "Oh," Juliet said to Holly, "you are bad!"
"I know," Holly said with a guilty grin. Louder, she added, "But you know teenage boys, always trying to rape every girl they meet—"
"I was not trying to rape you!" came Artemis's insistent retort.
"Whatever, Arty," she said, saying the word in a voice intending to be mocking, knowing he would understand. Turning to Juliet, she said, "Do you possibly have any suitable clothes I could borrow? This is dress is getting to be too much."
"Oh, sure," Juliet said. "Come with me, little elf, and I will introduce you to the wonderful world of bodyguard clothes."
Sending a sly look to Holly, she added, "So…nothing happened, right?"
Holly rolled her eyes. "No." Liar, liar, pants on fire.
A/N II: *hangs head* You know, I wasn't planning on any serious romance until later in the story…like around chapter ten, at the least. But then I read Amelia Atwater-Rhode's new book, Hawksong, (which I recommend for anyone who loves a good love story with a real plot) and watched Sense and Sensibility (Alan Rickman…*sigh*) all in the same night. Well…let's just say I needed to vent my overly full romantic brain somewhere. So that's why this chapter is so…mushy. And I cut it off here because I had to have Butler talk to Artemis, and that would bleed over into the eight o'clock meeting, and then it would get waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long…so I should be updating on Saturday or Sunday, then.
*to the tune of Marc Cohn's "Silver Thunderbird"*
I could hear him sayin:
Don't you give me no flames
Guys, you must take my word
If there's a God in heaven
He wants your nice review words
You can keep your old insults
And the Mary Sues absurd
Me I wanna have now
Your nice review words
*apologizes to Marc Cohn*
