A/N:  *ducks to avoid flying objects*  Um…you guys maybe remember how I said something once about regular updates?…never mind.  But hey, I actually got on and said, "Let's update one and see if we have any fans left."  So Somebody Else (the person who stands right behind me and causes a lot of trouble that's NOT MY FAULT) and I decided to update.  This one's late, but hey, I just got Neverwinter Nights.  :-)  Plus I haven't been able to go online at all.  Sorry, but between school and extra-curricular activities, I just don't have time.  If there are any plot holes, feel free to point them out, even though I've gone over this thing many times there's probably still stuff I missed.  Unless you'd rather have short chapters.  But I don't do those very well at all.  So…

Chapter 7

O'Bobble Residence, Ireland

            Bobby had a good idea about his mother's mood swings.  When Mrs. O'Bobble woke the next morning to make pancakes for her six children, she was not pleased to discover an extra four houseguests.  She and Bobby spent five minutes in his room with the door shut.  Mulch's ear was pressed against it.

            "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Mrs. O'Bobble demanded.

            "Asked him what he's thinking," Mulch reported to the others, "…he said he made the offer…she's complaining about people not calling in advance…he's saying something about a governmental emergency…"

            Artemis sighed.  "I forgot about that."

            "About what?" Foaly demanded.

            "I told Bobby Holly was a governmental agent from Canada."  He sighed and looked over at the elf's still, sleeping form.  "Still out."

            "Like a light," Juliet added.  "And she's not moving or doing any of that REM stuff.  You think it's a healing trance?"

            "Those things usually cause explosions," Butler countered.

            "Root's out, too," Foaly said over the earpiece.  "The Mud Poison shouldn't affect him too badly; it's designed to interfere with the human genome."

            "What, exactly, does this creation of yours do?"

            "Well, first off, I don't know what Ohmson did to it to make it work; my schematics are still…in the early stages.  In order to postpone the project and eventually get it dismissed.  Tell Butler that I wanted this project dismissed."

            "I can hear you," Butler replied.  "It's hooked up to a speaker."

            "So anyone can hear this?"

            Artemis glanced at Bobby's little sisters, four-year-old twins with flaming red hair and sleepy eyes, who sat on Juliet's lap.  "No one who would understand."

            "And I thought you were smart."

            "Just tell me what the weapon does."

            "Well, basically, it sends a highly concentrated radiation straight into the victim," Foaly explained.  "So it does damage to whoever you aim it at, but fairy magic can heal it easily.  But…the radiation is arranged it such away as to sever certain key parts in the human DNA pattern that basically cause the whole thing to just shut down.  Not pretty, but I don't think it's very painful…I'll ask Julius when he wakes up."

            "That's…so…not cool," Juliet said, putting up one of the twins' hair into pigtails.  "Why would anyone want a weapon that would do that?  Don't you have field mind wipes for taking care of human sightings?"

            "It's Artemis's fault."

            Artemis stiffened.  If there was one thing he regretted, it getting Butler killed.  To think that his actions had led to the pre-constructive­ plans of a weapon that could destroy mankind…"Allow me to postulate.  The Council thought they needed to arm themselves against further kidnappings."

            "Yep."

            Holly hiccupped and sat up.  "Where am I?"

            "Holly?" Foaly said excitedly.

            She looked around blearily.  "Strange place, this."

            "Holly," Artemis said slowly, "are you all right?"

            "Do I know you?"

            There was a long silence.  "That can't be good," Mulch said.

            "Just go back to sleep," Artemis said.

            She shrugged and fell back over just as Bobby and his mother re-entered the room.  Artemis stood hastily.  "Mrs. O'Bobble," he said smoothly, "I am very sorry if my arrival has caused any sort of inconvenience for you.  I offer whatever assistance you need in return for allowing us to stay here."

            He completed his speech with a short bow.  The anger simmering in her green eyes seemed to lessen.  Slightly.  "All right, Fowl," she barked, "all of you in the kitchen.  You'll be making breakfast this morning.  Except you," she added to Mulch.  "You are going to do the gardening I was planning on doing.  Come with me.  Bobby, show the others how to make pancakes."

            She marched out, followed by a reluctant Mulch.  Bobby sighed and looked at his classmate.  "Actually, I think you caught her on a good morning.  Usually she's so cranky at this hour we lie in bed until breakfast's done.  Come with me."

            Artemis unplugged the earpiece from his laptop and shut the computer.  Leaving Holly to be beautified by the twins, they followed Bobby into the kitchen, where he quickly set them to work making eggs, bacon, kippers, pancakes, and any other breakfast food he could think of.  His little brother, other little sister, and older sister all peeked in, walking by as they woke up, older sister eying Artemis with extreme interest before turning back to her room.

            "I told Katie about you," Bobby said as he and Artemis flipped pancakes.  "She's probably gone to fuss herself up to 'look good' for you."

            "How old are your siblings?" Artemis asked.  This was a new experience for him; at school, he tended to shy away from all his classmates, mostly in the interest of pursuing his personal projects.  As such, he didn't really count anyone as a friend.  However, he seemed to be making one.

            "Katie's going to be seventeen next month, I'm fifteen, Miles is twelve, Mona's nine, and Caitlin and Colleen are four.  Da's usually away on business trips, and Mum runs the house."  Bobby shrugged.  "There's a lot."

            "Is your extended family this large?"

            "Oh, yes."  Bobby grinned.  "My parents both came from families of six, and all my aunts and uncles have at least three children.  You?"

            "My father is an only child, and my mother…might have a brother somewhere in London."  Artemis shrugged.  "And I consider the Butlers family, of course."

            "Your bodyguards?"

            "Well, yes," he said, glancing over at them, where Juliet was trying very hard to crack eggs without totally ruining them.  "Butler's been with me all my life.  And Juliet takes care of Mother; she's another constant.  They're my family; I'd do anything for either one."

            "Cool," Bobby said.  "What's it like, having a bodyguard?"

            Artemis's reply was forestalled by Katie's arrival.  Katie had long, wavy red hair and her mother's green eyes.  She was healthily thin but also rather…gifted…in certain areas.  She wore a tight green T-shirt and hip-hugging jeans.  Artemis found himself temporarily paralyzed.

            "So," she said, smiling, "you must be Artemis."

            He was acutely aware of Butler's avid gaze.  "Yes," he said, raising an eyebrow, the only reaction he could come up with to buffer such beauty.  "And you are Katie, n'est-ce pas?"

            "French?" she said, still smiling.  "How nice!  And yes, I'm Katie.  Bobby told you, didn't he?  He likes to ruin surprises."

            "I'm sure I don't understand what you mean by that," he said coolly.

            "Sibling rivalry," she was quick to assure him.

            "Hey, Katie, Mum's in the garden.  Said she wanted to talk to you," Bobby intervened.

            She sent him a brief glance of annoyance and left the kitchen after giving Artemis another smile.  The genius stared after her, feeling rather dazed, and rather horrible that another girl should affect him so strongly while Holly was around….  He groaned.

            "Katie's good, isn't she?" Bobby admitted.  "Although I wouldn't say you're her type, she apparently has decided you are.  And Katie usually gets what she wants."

            Artemis looked at him.  "You're rather apathetic towards your sister."

            "Just warning you," the other boy said, shrugging.

            There was a sound remarkably like a stifled laugh from the Butler area of the kitchen.  Artemis turned to glare at them.

            "Haven't I repeatedly said Holly's too old for me?  There's nothing wrong with appreciation for another person's gifts," he said in what he hoped was a dignified voice.

            "Sure, Arty," Juliet said, biting her lip.  Butler remained carefully neutral.

            "Holly sure doesn't look it," Bobby observed.  "Hey, how's about you take my sister and I take the government agent?"

            "NO."

            "Your loss," Bobby said, turning back to the pancakes and cursing.  "This batch'll have to be scrapped."

            Artemis, who had been flipping the pancakes while Bobby poured them, looked sheepishly at the blackened, rock-hard circles sitting in the pan.  "Sorry."

            They finished making breakfast and set the table just in time for Mulch and the rest of the O'Bobbles to come trooping into the dining room.  Katie quickly grabbed a seat next to Artemis and Juliet grabbed the seat next to her, while Mona ended up between Artemis and Butler.  The twins, Caitlin and Colleen, were reconfined to their highchairs, Mulch sat next to Juliet, Miles sat between the dwarf and his brother, and Mrs. O'Bobble sat next to Bobby.

            "Where's the other member of your party?" Mrs. O'Bobble asked after saying a blessing.

            "I think she ingested a hallucinogen and is currently sleeping it off," Artemis said.

            "What's a hallucingenny?" Mona asked.

            "Something you don't ever want to eat," Butler said, looking down at the girl.

            Her hair was closer to blonde than the others and she didn't seem the least bit intimidated by the giant man.  "But what is it?"

            "Any number of things that makes you think things are there when really they don't exist."

            "Corrupting my child?" Mrs. O'Bobble said.

            "No, Mum.  He's just increasing my vocabulary."

            "It's 'hallucinogen,' not 'hallucingenny,'" Butler added.

            "What are you?" Miles asked Mulch on the other side of his mother.

            "A dwarf," Mulch said honestly, possibly a first for him.

            "Like a short person?"

            "Yeah.  A short person."  With that Mulch began shoveling his breakfast into his mouth until Juliet saw what he was doing and dug her fingernails into his arm.  "Ow!"

            "Just tell everyone you're not human, why don't you?" she hissed.

            "What'd she say?" Miles asked.

            "Nothing," Juliet said, smiling at him.  He blushed and smiled back a little.  Mulch rolled his eyes.

            "Smelly," he hissed.

            "Stinker," she retorted.

            Katie, on the other side of Juliet, was quite interested in Holly.  "Who is she?"

            Artemis, still enthralled in her beauty against his will, answered, "A governmental agent I'm assisting."

            "So…is she smart?"

            "Very."

            "Are you guys friends?"

            He shrugged.  "I suppose.  I'm not quite sure."  He had been unsure about Holly's feelings for him ever since she had gone tipsy, wondering if her feelings for him had been brought on only by the Mud Maid potion.  "We've had…both friendly and unfriendly dealings in the past."

            "So it's true?  You're a criminal mastermind?"  Katie's eyes shone.

            "Now I never said—" he began.

            Katie daringly leaned her head on his shoulder.  "How…seductively evil."

            Artemis froze, glanced over, and caught Bobby's eyes.  "Help," he mouthed.

            "Do I get Holly?" Bobby mouthed back.

            Artemis rolled his eyes and Juliet, turning towards him, came to his rescue.  "How do you do it?"

            Katie sat up, although she was still in Artemis's personal bubble, and smiled blandly.  "Do what?"

            "Get ready so quickly!" Juliet exclaimed.  "I mean, I saw you come out of your room, and then you went back in, and no more than ten minutes later out you come looking like that!  That's so, like, oh my God!  You've got to tell me how to do it!  It's gotta be a real lifesaver."

            Artemis inwardly marveled at Juliet's ability to act so smart one minute and so blonde the next.  Katie looked slightly stunned, but relaxed.

            "First of all, conditioner spray is a lifesaver," she explained.  "Also, knowing how to put on just enough makeup to look presentable, knowing that you can always put more later."

            Juliet sighed happily.  "Finally, someone who speaks my language!  You have no idea how awful it is, hanging around with my brother and him."  She jerked her head at Artemis.

            "I hear geniuses are lacking in fashion sense," Katie sympathized.  Then she glanced at Artemis, who was wearing the closest thing he had to old clothes: a white-button up, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a black vest over that, and black slacks.  He thought it lent him a fairly vampiric air, and happened to enjoy making people think he was a vampire.  "Although I'm not sure if it's true."  She smiled cockily at him.

            He returned her smile, adding his sinister edge to it.  "Well, businessmen can't afford to look bad," Juliet intervened.

            "Katie, I wish you wouldn't throw yourself at any guy that comes your way," Mrs. O'Bobble said from across the table.

            "MA!  I don't," Katie said, rolling her eyes.  "I am not throwing myself at Artemis.  I am merely making conversation.  Or am I not supposed to be friendly towards our guests?"

            Artemis did his best to look innocent, even though at the rate Katie was traveling she would be on his lap the second her mother turned her head.  Thankfully, the argument was averted by Holly showing up in the doorway, still looking lost.

            "If she'd look at Katie…" Foaly hissed in Artemis's ear, making him jerk.  "I want to see what your Katie looks like…"

            "She's not my anything," Artemis retorted in the barest whisper, full of concern for Holly.

            Holly started talking in what sounded like a lot of gibberish, but Artemis soon realized it was Gnommish and tried to translate it.  "She wants to know where the bloody hell she is," he explained.

            "What's she speaking?" Bobby asked.

            "Egyptian," Artemis ejaculated.

            "You're at my house," Bobby said to her.

            She blinked at focused on him.  "Do I know you?"

            English, Artemis thought with relief.  "Yeah.  We danced together," Bobby said.  Artemis's relief vanished as he realized what Bobby was attempting.

            "Oh.  Okay."  Holly crossed the room and stood next to him.  Bobby smiled.

            "Lap's free."

            "Robert!" Mrs. O'Bobble scolded.

            Artemis watched, feeling a curious pang run through him, as Holly sat on Bobby's lap.  Abruptly he stood.  "She can have my chair.  I'm not hungry anymore."

            He left the kitchen, crossed the living room, and went out the front door.  It was about nine o'clock in the morning and the sun was shining right on the front yard, on the stoop, where he sat, trying to figure out why he was suddenly so miserable.

            "Fowl?" Foaly said in his ear.

            "Would you mind going somewhere else?" Artemis asked.  "Go check on your boss or something."

            "Gotcha.  I'll warn you when I get back—if you hear me and you don't want to be disturbed, just say 'Katie,' and I'll get out."

            Artemis rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh at the centaur's smug, knowing tone.  "Goodbye."

            "Foaly, over and out."

            Artemis was left alone to stare at the grass and wonder about his lot in life.  Then he realized how ridiculous this was, and that it would probably involve moral debates he didn't want to think about, so he moved on to wondering what to do about the Mud Poison.  Of course, Root was still probably going to reject his help, and giving him fairy help, so it would make his quest that much more difficult.  And he had to explain all of this to his parents.  A guilty twinge hit him as he thought of his parents; he had disappeared in the middle of the night with barely giving them a note.  And while part of him argued that the fate of the human world was more important than his parents, he wished someone else would worry about the fate of the fairy world.

            "Thinking deep thoughts?"

            It was Katie.  Great.  He hadn't even begun to worry what he might or might not feel about the beautiful early girl, and how it conflicted with his relationship with Holly (which might not even be a relationship anymore, if it really was one to begin with).  He did know he didn't want to date a girl just for looks, that he didn't appreciate heavy coquettishness, and that he wanted to really know a girl before he got into a deep and serious relationship.  Katie didn't qualify at the moment.

            "Not really," he replied, shifting to make room for her on the stoop; it was only polite.

            "Then what were you thinking about?"

            "The fate of the human world," he said, staring out across the street at the other large houses.  The O'Bobbles, while not being at Fowl status, were still wealthy and lived in an affluent neighborhood.

            "That sounds like deep thinking."  Her upper arm was touching his.

            He crossed his legs and put his folded hands on his knee.  "Perhaps.  It's a daily occurrence."

            "You think about the fate of the world a lot?  Sounds interesting."

            "Katie," he said with a sigh, "you're very pretty."

            She froze, and he knew she didn't know how to react to such blatant acknowledgement of her flirtation.  "Thank you," she said.  "That's very kind of you."

            He turned his head and was unsurprised to find her nose inches from his, yet this didn't inspire anything remotely new or interesting.  "However," he said, "I am not interested in pursuing any sort of relationship with you other than friendship at this point."

            Her green eyes bore into his.  "Really?"

            "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

            "Quite sure."

            "I think," her voice was quiet, breathy, and he knew what was coming, "you don't realize what you're missing."

            She leaned forward and gave him a light, slow kiss on the lips, smooth and cool.  He let it happen, tasting her sweetness, although he didn't kiss her back.  "I think I recognize it," he said when she was finished.  "However, I prefer to base relationships on something other than physical attraction—"

            "Fowl?" said Foaly in his ear.

            "—Katie," he added quickly.

            "Got it.  Outta here."

            She pulled away to regard him.  "Bobby said you've never had a girlfriend."

            "He's right."

            "Do you think you're setting your standards a little high, considering?"

            He gave her a steady gaze.  "I persist in keeping my values."

            She looked over his face, a slight smile coming to her face.  "There's a lot of levels to you, Artemis Fowl.  I like it."

            "That being said," he countered, "I look forward to pursuing a friendship with you."

            Her smiled widened, and he matched it.  "So do I."

            They sat there, regarding each other, and for a small second Artemis felt almost like a normal teenager.  He felt…almost happy, he decided.  Content to think of Katie and her personality, rather than people like Ruby Ohmson and Julius Root.

            Speaking of which…

            "FOWL!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

            He sighed.  "Excuse me, Katie, but I have an incoming call from Holly's boss, and these conversations tend to be confidential."

            She smiled again.  "I understand."  Standing, she stretched, her shirt coming above her jeans to reveal her midriff.  That was new.  "Friendship first?"

            He nodded, and she went inside.  "Who's that?" Root demanded.

            "Bobby O'Bobble's older sister," Artemis answered.  "Katie O'Bobble."

            "Sounds pretty."

            "She is."  Artemis suddenly felt unsure; Root had never been so…normal before.

            "Back to business," the commander continued.  "Any leads on Ohmson or Koboi?  Strange phone calls, emails, bombs going off?"

            "Nothing.  Quite silent.  Ohmson's probably plotting her next move."

            Foaly neighed/snorted.  "That's a pleasant thought."

            "Isn't it though?"  Artemis thought.  "I haven't done much monitoring, thought, as you still haven't told me whether or not you'll allow the Butlers and myself to assist you in this matter."

            "Don't have clearance from the Council for outside help," Foaly put in.  "Although that usually means help from Atlantis, and they really, really, really hate looking weak in front of the neighbors."

            "Speaking of assistance, how's Holly?" Root asked, a note of concern in his voice.

            Artemis was dumbstruck; Root was acting far too normal, far too caring.  "Did the Mud Poison do anything to you?"

            "What does that mean?" the commander barked.

            He shook himself.  "Never mind.  Holly's…last I saw her, she was sitting on my classmate's lap.  Any second now I expect they'll move to a more private space, unless Juliet or Butler gets to her.  I can't begin to explain how different she is; if she's not sleeping, she's acting like a…" He trailed off, unable to finish.

            "Loose girl?" Foaly supplied.

            "Yes."

            "What have you done?" Root demanded.

            "I've been looking at the potion, and I think I can figure out what's going wrong," Foaly said.  "Actually, I'm more worried about Opal Koboi.  If Holly's losing this kind of control, what will it do to someone who's already insane?"

            There was a silence while they contemplated this.  "I believe," Artemis said finally, "it is imperative that you locate Koboi as soon as possible, that we may track her down."

New Haven

            Opal looked out of the peephole in her apartment's door to see an impatient-looking pixie with red fingernails tapping her foot on the welcome mat.  Smiling in satisfaction, she opened the door, let the other pixie in, and shut the door and locked it.

            "About time," Ruby Ohmson snapped.  "I'm a fugitive now."

            "I saw on the news that you blasted Julius Root," Opal answered, directing her hoverseat across from another chair in the living/dining room (plus kitchenette).  Ruby took the hint and sat down in said chair.  "You know, the Mud Poison you sent me didn't work."

            Ruby looked at her strangely.  "I must have accidentally sent you a failed prototypes.  The last prototype and the working one look exactly the same, unless you take them apart.  But don't worry; I have a few extra."  She indicated the huge sack clipped to a Moonbelt clipped to a Moonbelt clipped to a Moonbelt, therefore making it 1/216 of its original weight and easily carried.

            "Awesome possum," Opal answered, calmly gliding over to the sack and opening it.  "Can you really carry these things?"

            "Not for long periods of time.  I figure if we have more time we can make it manageable."  Ruby smirked.  "I hear rumors that Calfy was against this project and is doing everything he can to delay it into nonexistence."

            Opal stared at her. "Calfy?"
            "That LEP techno guy."

            Opal stared again, then jerked and began laughing hysterically.  "Calfy?  Oh, if he knew you said that—!"

            "Why?"

            "His name is Foaly, not Calfy!"  Opal fell off her hoverseat and kept laughing.  "Calfy!"

            "Same difference."

            "I know, just—you—I can see his reaction."  Recovering, she clambered back onto her hoverseat.  "Anyway.  Back to business.  Were you followed?"
            Ruby was giving her the strange look again.  "Are you feeling okay?"

            Opal blinked.  "Yes.  Why do you ask?"

            "You're acting…strangely," the other pixie said.  "It's…unusual…for you to string two coherent thoughts together at once."

            "Really?  I hadn't noticed.  Were you followed or not?"

            "You're taller, too."

            "Oh, that."  Opal waved a dismissive hand.  "I drank some potion of Foaly's, guaranteed to make me look more Mud Maid, so when I went above surface to kidnap Fowl I wouldn't look so weird.  Of course, I didn't get Fowl, but the potion still worked.  Speaking of Fowl, have you talked to him?"

            "Indirectly.  He figured out I was spearheading a Russian whaling company and spoke to me through Julius right before I blasted him."

            "Fowl?"

            "Julius."

            "Ah."  Opal sighed.  "We need to do something dastardly.  Something that will attract attention without us getting caught."

            "We could do a demonstration with the Mud Poison," Ruby offered.

            "Yes…only…" Opal stared into space, an idea starting to form.  "Listen, I need to work on the Mud Poison a bit.  Everyone knows what it can do to Mud Men—it was all over the TV.  But what if it could do that to fairies?"

            Ruby started, looking slightly horrified, but the idea began to sit with her and she smiled slowly.  "You think we can do it?"

            "It shouldn't be too hard.  We can probably make this thing adjustable, for humans and fairies alike.  If I had extra time, I'd make it adjustable for different types of fairies."

            Ruby cocked her head, looking excited.  "I like the new you, Opal.  Whatever you did, it's quite excellent."

            Opal smiled.  It was so nice to have friends.

O'Bobble Residence, Ireland

            Sure enough, Butler was having to physically restrain Holly to keep her from Bobby when Artemis went inside to retrieve his laptop.  This was actually his backup, which he had loaded before remembering the fairies, but as his other laptop was missing its processor, it would have to do.  Anyway, Butler had one arm around Holly, holding her on his lap, while they, Bobby, Juliet, and the other O'Bobble children sat in the living room.

            "Oh, come on, big man," Holly said, "we're just friends.  It's okay."

            Bobby looked unsure.  "I wouldn't do anything to her, Mr. Butler."

            "I don't care," Butler said, formidable as always.  "She's not in her right mind, and I don't want you inadvertently taking advantage of her."

            Artemis's stomach churned, and he turned away from the scene and sat on the couch (where Katie quickly joined him) and opened his laptop.  He opened an instant messaging with Foaly.

            Foaly, he typed, I'm in the living room, and Katie's next to me—sorry, can't get visual.  Send me any information you have about Opal.

            "Who's Foaly?" Katie asked.

            "Government," he answered.

            "Foaly?" Holly said, sitting up.  Artemis glanced at her.  "I think I know a Foaly.  He's a centaur."

            "Centaur?" Katie said, raising her eyebrows.

            "Sh, honey, you're imagining things," Juliet soothed.  She was sitting on the floor with Mona, Caitlin, and Colleen, playing dress-up (or "Let Juliet Give Me a Makeover"; Artemis wasn't sure which).

            "Do you have solitaire?" Katie asked him, leaning over his shoulder.

            He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, a light response to her flirtation.  "Of course."

            "Can I play?"

            He set it on her lap, warning, "Don't try to open anything; I'm sitting right next to you."

            She flashed him a smile.  "Don't worry, Artemis—may I call you Artemis?"

            "Yes."

            He watched her as she expertly played the mindless computer game, wondering what to do about such an attractive female when there was another one restrained on Butler's lap, one who was clearly sick and clearly needed help.

            Holly hiccupped.  "I don't understand why you people are no fun.  You're just as bad as—as Root."

            "Who's Root?"

            "An elf."

            Artemis wanted to shake her to make her feel better.  When Miles looked towards him questioningly, he only shrugged and said, "It might be some sort of government code thing.  Or it could be a book she read.  She could also be making it up.  I really don't know."

            "I saw a fairy once," Mona announced.

            All heads swiveled towards her.  "No, you didn't," Miles said, rolling his eyes.  "She tells this story all the time.  She's just making stuff up."

            "I am not," Mona insisted, tossing her (now sparkly) hair.  "I was seven years old and on a camping trip with Uncle Casey, and he was asleep and I got up because I had to go to the bathroom," she told the others.  "And then I saw this little short person digging a hole in the ground.  Well, I went up to him and asked him what he was doing.  And he said he was completing the Ritual, burying an acorn so he could have magic.  And sure enough he put a little acorn in the ground and BOOM, there was all this blue light, and he fixed a cut I had on my arm and told me I was a good little girl.  Then he said there was no such thing as magic, which I thought was silly.  Then he disappeared, and I went back to camp."

            There was a long pause.  Artemis could only guess that the fairy had tried to mesmerize Mona and failed, probably because he didn't get eye contact.

            "Julius," Foaly said into Artemis's ear, "Julius, she's just a kid.  She won't believe it when she grows up.  Don't send a LEP team after her.  The others all think she's crazy."

            "I WANT TO KNOW WHAT FOOL DIDN'T REPORT HER!"

            Artemis winced and pulled the earpiece from his ear.  Juliet and Butler were both looking at him for guidance.  He shrugged.  "You know, maybe leprechauns really do exist," he said placatingly.  "But if they do, I don't think they need to bury acorns."

            "He wasn't a leprechaun," Mona said in a long-suffering, why-can't-you-people-get-it-right voice.  "He was a fairy."

            "Same thing."

            "They are NOT."

            "Mona, please," Katie said, eyes never leaving the computer screen.  "Spare us."

            Holly hiccupped again.  And again.  And suddenly she was hiccupping at a steady pace of one per minute.  Artemis frowned.

            It was Bobby who noticed first.  "Hey, is it just me, or is she getting shorter?"

A/N II:  Cliffie…I'm proud of this cliffie.  This is a good cliffie.  I'm going to bed.  *gets up, stops as Katie bounds in*  Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you, who the heck are you and why are you in my story?

Katie:  I'm a figment of your imagination

Me:  *groans*  But why are you in my story?  This is a H/A fic.  You're totally screwing up the formula.

Katie:  *tosses hair*  I don't care.  *wanders off*

Me:  *glances at all the staring readers*  Uh…go review while I try and sort out my little…problem here…