Such a Lot of Livin' To Do
I tighten my grip on his hand and we keep walking until we see a large cluster of our peers. Nancy, Kim, Deborah Sue... in the middle is the man that I'm currently fighting back feelings for, one Mr. Conrad Birdie, wearing tight jeans and a leather jacket. Oh, as much as I really love Harvey and all of his innocence right now, I am so, so, attracted to Conrad right now. It seems all of the teenagers are here – it looks like a musical number to me.
Lots of dates, and no-one to scold you.
Loop-the-loop and laugh at the view.
Moonlight swims, and someone nice to cuddle up to.
We got a lot of livin' to do! Wow!
At "someone nice to cuddle up to", I look right at Harvey with a seductive smile, and he turns bright red. It's odd that I've never realized how cute he is before; usually my hormones scream when they see anyone even remotely attractive. At the same time, he isn't like the other boys I've dated. I want to see him for more than a couple of hours, want to do more than kiss him on a coffeehouse couch.
There's music to play!You know it!
Places to go!You know it!
People to see!
Everything...Yeah!
For you and me!
I grab Harvey's hands, and as the girls begin a little cutesy dance, we – in unison with Conrad and Kim, Freddie and Ursula, Karl and Margie – begin to tango. Like the trollop I am, I shove my chest a bit too close to his, my pelvis a bit too close to his. He stares in my eyes like he knows what I'm up to but doesn't mind. Innocent little Harvey is proving to be more lusty than I ever imagined.
Oh, life's a ball, if only you know it.
And it's all just waiting for you.
You're alive, so come on and show it.
Oh, we've got a lot of livin' to ---
He twirls me in, out, in, and we strut together, arms extended. I'm wearing my most shameless expression of desire, but he isn't complaining. At the same time as the other couples, he dips me deep and leans in for the kiss, just as my hormones are about to scream...
"ALICE!" her mother's voice shouts out. In a split second, I am on the ground, my rear end aching. I scramble up and dash into an alleyway with the rest of the kids, all except Harvey, who turns in circles, confused. "You were supposed to be in bed hours ago! Alice!" We all look at Alice, who seems to be ditching her good-girl nature and rebelling. It seems as if we all are. I am in the midst of a revolution.
"Harvey Johnson, I want you home this minute!" exclaims his mother, shining a flashlight in his eyes. I watch helplessly as he is pulled away from me, from the revolution – and then, when Mrs. Johnson isn't looking, he turns around and runs... right into Mrs. Merkle. Shoot.
"Do you hear me, Deborah Sue? Mother's calling you, Deborah Sue! Deborah – Aahh!" she shrieks as Harvey slams into her and speeds off to where the rest of us hide, leaving Mrs. Merkle in his wake. I smile at him – "Très impressive, Harvey."
There's music to play!
Places to go!
People to see!
Everything...Yeah!
For you and me!
Oh, life's a ball, if only you know it.
And it's all just waiting for you.
You're alive, so come on and show it!
Oh, we've got a lot of livin',
Such a lot of livin'.
We snap, spin, and lean until we're dizzy, with Conrad still the center of attention. He seems to be the cause of our rebellion – after all, without his being here, Hugo and Kim wouldn't have broken up (I knew it I knew it I knew it) and we wouldn't be hypnotized by his body into states of passion and lust. His mere presence fills us with hormones, turns our minds inside out.
What a lot of livin' to do! Ooh – ooh – ooh – ooh!
I lose Harvey amongst the leaping throng. Penelope and Margie spin and dance around me, forcing me away from him. For good measure, I push off a fence to do a rotation and segue into a flying leap, just to express my freedom and glee. I am feeling gleeful; for once in my life I don't just want to kiss and run. I can distinguish my lust for Conrad from my affection for Harvey, thank goodness. In fact, I'm wondering if I don't actually want to go steady with Harvey.
"Where are we all going?" I ask Margie, figuring that we're all taking different routes to the same location.
"The Ice House!" she shrieks, clapping her hands together with joy. Penelope has long since skipped off.
"The Ice House?" I question dumbly. "Why?" I've actually been before- about a year ago, Helen's cousin from Boston came to visit and he and I had a bit of a fling. But I can't imagine why we'd be going to the Ice House now, especially in such a big group.
"Because we can, silly! We've got a lot of livin' to do!" Margie sings, skipping ahead. "Oh, Suzie, doesn't it feel good to be bad?"
"Margie, dear, you are just finding out what I've known for years," I say, grinning from ear to ear. "Now, have you seen where Harvey's gotten to? I can't find him."
"Why are you looking for Harvey?" she asks, wrinkling her nose up in disgust. "Are you... with him?"
"Didn't you see us tangoing? By the way, darling, Bridget will have your head for dancing so close with Karl."
"I know – but... Harvey? Why?"
"He happens to be very sweet, and a very good kisser," I reply nonchalantly.
"Didn't you say the same about your city boy? Smokey or whatever?" Margie asks suspiciously.
"Yes, but Harvey's right here, and ever so much more adorably naïve. My feelings for him are beyond physical lust, anyhow. Smokey was only a midnight rendezvous. Pure physical lust. Besides, I like geeky boys."
"But Harvey's a good kisser?" she queries.
"His inexperience is endearing."
"But... he's a good kisser?"
"Yes! Why do you keep saying that?" I ask her, impatiently.
"Because it looks like Daisy Doe thinks so too."
Sure enough, I spot the two of them on a bench right near the Ice House, their mouths fully attached. I can't believe this. That ingrate! I take him under my wing, tell him my dark desires and secrets, make him realize that there's more to him than his bowtie and glasses, give him his first kiss... and what do I get in return? He starts slobbering all over Daisy Doe the first time I turn around! I can't believe him. And Daisy Doe! That little slut. I went out of my way to leave her alone with Karl tonight at the Ed Sullivan Show. I wanted to see her win over Bridget, just once! But no, she goes and steals the first guy I've actually considered monogamy with!
My first instinct is to grab Conrad and start making out with him against the Ice House wall. After all, that would be the very best way to make anyone jealous, and he does look terribly sexy in that leather jacket. However, he seems to have his hands full with Kim, who is playing the part of the "sultry older woman" even though she's the exact opposite.
Since Conrad is incapacitated, I wave good-bye to Margie and begin looking for the next best thing: Freddie, the Ultimate Playboy of All Time. He is standing near the entrance to the Ice House with a can of generic beer, his arm around Charity's waist. I'm willing to share, I guess. "Hey Freddie," I say with a flirty grin. "Why are you just standing by the door? All the fun's inside." If it was any other girl wrapped in Freddie's arm, I would be receiving a multitude of death glares; poor prim Charity just looks relieved to have the attention off of her. Freddie is appreciative; I don't often give him the time of day.
"I'm just waiting for a good reason to go inside," he replies, matching my smile. I take him by the arm and pull him inside, Charity following nervously. She seems one of the least willing to join the revolution. I am the queen of the revolution. Vive la resistance. We find a place to stand, near a ladder that Alice is on top of and Bridget and Karl are towards the bottom of. I'm amused to see that all of the pairs straggling in seem to have found a can of beer to share, and are sputtering as they drink it. It's only generic, for Christ's sake, not like it's hard liquor. The traitors are on a crate, his arm around her shoulder. To spite him, I pull Freddie's arm close to my waist and snuggle in, on Flirtation Autopilot. I am too drunk on revenge to care that I don't find Freddie in the least attractive – he's too sleazy to be sensuous, too skinny to be cute. At this point, I'll do almost anything. My heart has frozen over. I am Estella of Dickens' Great Expectations: the beauty who breaks men's hearts.
Conrad and Kim slink in, Kim cuddling with him, Conrad looking very uncomfortable. Perhaps he's finally realized that what he's doing is wrong and a bit pedophilic. Of course, Kim's just spouting the funniest things, all about he being "twenty-seven or twenty-eight, one of the two" and about how she's "been to the Ice House with everyone: Ursula, Deborah Sue, the Girl Scouts." I know Kim, and I know that Kim has partaken in no wild lesbian orgies. I haven't even done that. Most of my attentions are focused on seducing Freddie. Despite his arm around Charity, I am fairly successful: twirling his gel-filled hair through my fingers, blinking slowly behind my cat-eye glasses. He offers Charity a sip of beer and she declines, wearing a demure smile. Right this moment, her naïveté is annoying. When he offers me a sip, I tip my head back and positively chug, just to spite her, licking my lips off with a wicked grin. Freddie is impressed. I have a large chest, and I'll drink beer without the slightest sputter. I am his busty, bad dream girl.
Ursula bursts in, wearing an exaggeratedly lusty expression, with Penelope on her heels. "There you are, oh sensuous one! We've been looking for you everywhere."
"That's nice. Now out of the way, I'm late!" Conrad says distractedly, trying to push past her, clearly unnerved.
"But you don't understand! We're coming with you! You said it yourself, we've got a lot of living to do!"
"Now wait a minute..."
"We'll never go home again! We'll follow you to the ends of the earth!" I neglect to mention to Ursula that we probably don't want to follow Conrad into any combat zones. That's hardly anyone's idea of a good time.
"Moonlight swims!" Deborah Sue shouts blissfully.
"Motorboat races!" adds Helen, matching Deborah Sue's expression of beatitude.
"Loop-the-loop!" Penelope shrieks, trying to top the both of them.
"YEAH!" we all scream. I toss my head back and cuddle into Freddie, practically straddling his skinny frame. I have transcended the borders of flirtation. I am now just behaving like a slut. I feel cheap, like I'm being trampy for the sake of being trampy, but I'm not about to stop now. The new, divisionless Suzie sometimes uses her sensuality as a weapon, a tool of revenge.
We've got a lot of livin'
Such a lot of livin'
What a lot of livin'...
Ursula spins Conrad about and leaps into his arms as we all smoke and drink and flirt, the epitome of teenage rebellion. Our consciences shatter into a thousand pieces all over the floor. Suddenly, Mr. Peterson and Miss Alvarez storm in, the MacAfees and a policeman following. Our song ends and we all hide our beer cans behind our backs, removing our arms from each other. I've always liked breaking the rules – but I'm just now learning what it's like to be caught.
Things go by in a rush. Mr. MacAfee has Conrad arrested, convinced he's been sexually harassing Kim. (More like she's been sexually harassing him... but none of us are about to spill that choice fact.) Hugo turns up and he and Kim are reunited. Shamefully, we all leave the Ice House, our revolution crushed, our spirit of rebellion dead.
