Must I say it? I'm back. I'm back to faithfully update my fic on Saturday (as I planned) after a week of doing whatever it is I do. People were seriously offended by the cliffie on the last chapter, and I was really scared.But I'm really evil, so I like to leave people shuddering with anticipation, hovering in suspense, holding onto a branch on a cliff, just about to fall... for at least one solid week. Now you got the answer to the cliffhanger.

RaevanDawn: So you reviewed my story! And you really liked it. Except you were just about to ...er... murder me with that sharp object. It's about time to update your story, Darkness, too! (And you get more H/T)

ruus: Thanks. Are you ruusa from chapter 15? If so, that's very nice because anonymous reviewers seldom come back. Actually they never do, you're the first. Why don't you register at FF? I mean, I know it's your business, but that way you'll be more appreciated:)

Princess Arwen Evenstar 77: Well, that's right you did come back, so I guess I'll forgive you. I hope you didn't kill someone.

neutralgal: And you're back as well. Thank you for pointing out that mistake, I fixed it, thanks to you:)

WARNING(first warning ever?): Totally-unexpected ending to this chapter. Beware.
Totally-uncalled-for OOC. Make sure you don't hyperventilate or something.


Chapter 17: Rescue

She drew out her gun, aimed briefly, and fired.

And missed.

Missed?

"Argh!" There came an agitated yell from outside Holly's room. A second later, Keeth burst in with Spiro right beside him, only to find a flabbergast LEP captain staring incredulously into the now-shattered window. All three faces were flushed with frustration.

"What do you think you're doing, shooting the window like that?!" Keeth yelled. "Oh, I get it. You just thought you could fly out the window without being noticed, didn't you?"

Holly didn't pay the least bit of attention to him. She didn't feel a thing as Spiro pushed her so hard that her knees buckled, her gun flying askew.

"I hate hostages when they rebel. I hate them. You know that, don't you Keeth?"

"Yeah, I sure do. I understand. Now why don't you-"

"No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm going to show this girly just how much I hate revolts."

Keeth held both of Spiro's arms behind his back unsuccessfully. He watched as Spiro was about to decapitate the seemingly frozen captain in the very least. "Think again, Jon, and don't lay a finger on her," he blurted.

Two heads turned in surprise. "What?" Spiro inquired in disbelief. "What's the matter with you? If it's that crush you had on her, then get over it, will you?"

"No, Jon. It's nothing of that sort. Just wanted to remind you that you seem to have completely forgotten the purpose of this abduction. You've basically forgotten our plan."

Spiro froze in midmovement, and stood up to regain his posture. "Ah, yes. The plan."

"Yes, the plan. And if you don't want to screw it up before we've barely begun, then get your backside out of here, right now!"

"All right." Spiro replied. Then he turned to Holly like a tiger with its fangs bared and said, "You were lucky this time, girly, but keep in mind that I never spare people I don't like." There was no need for anything more to be said.

After the two left, Holly let out a scream of aggravation, and it had nothing to do with Spiro calling her 'girly.' She was stupefied by the accident she had caused.

Holly Short missed a shot. Wait till Foaly gets to know this. It will be a whole riot. She felt completely mortified, for it was quite a disgrace for a Captain like her. She had plenty of both virtual and real practice since she was a cadet, knocking down paper fairies like it was nothing from fifty meters back. The shot she had made now was barely a two-meter shot. How could she have been so careless?

She picked up her gun and examined it, determined to find the cause of this unintentional accident. The color, she could see, was not the gray hue of her Neutrino, but a licorice black. Much to her surprise, it was a human gun used most inefficiently on one of those action movies Foaly had downloaded onto his computer; Mission Impossible.

Of course. Holly stopped her self-torment as she suddenly understood what had happened. She had made a reckless move by not checking what gun it was that was hidden under her jacket. She had grabbed a gun before falling into the trap accidentally on purpose (she hoped none of her friends had seen that) without looking, because... well, it was so obvious that it was a Neutrino. All LEP officers used Neutrinos, for the Demolishers were still in progress. It was an all-known fact. But there it was, a human gun shining proudly as though it had anything to be proud about. Mud Man rifles had recoils, fairy guns did not. It was all crystal clear.

To her dismay, the gun had had one single dart, and she had wasted it off by shooting it out the window. All she could do for now is wait.

"Hey, what's that you have there? Is that the gun you were shooting with?" Keeth smirked from the screen. "Don't you think it's just a bit pathetic, using one of those Mud Man guns?"Holly ignored him, still regretting the fact that she hadn't listened to the lectures back in school about shooting. Never be trigger-happy, and grip a gun tightly no matter how skilled you are. If she hadn't slackened her grasp so much, she would have overcome the recoil…. Oh well. Better not cry over spilt milk. "Where am I?" she asked to the goblin on screen.

"Well, that's the first sensible thing you've said all day." Keeth said, mildly surprised. "We are, as a matter of fact, in a duplicate of Fowl Manor, which is located only twenty klicks from the estate itself."

"Hmmm." No wonder her cell looked so familiar. "So may I ask why did you build a replica of Artem- Master Fowl's manor?"

"None of your business," Keeth scoffed. "That's the part of our plan, dimwit."

Holly heaved a sigh dramatically. Time to use a more confidential technique. From the pocket of her LEP suit trousers she took out what looked like an egg-shaped, milky white device with an earpiece attached. A whisper amplifier, and for once it was not one of Foaly's uncountable inventions. It was actually what Artemis had put together with an earpiece of a Walkman, certain parts of an amplifier, and a case from a box of individually wrapped Easter chocolate eggs his mother had insisted on buying him. All at age seven, and this creation was the result of his boredom in first grade. It won half a dozen prizes in high school science fairs. A perfect device that Foaly, unbelievably, had not thought of for the espionage world. It was barely the start of his ingenuity.

Back to Holly. She smiled at the name "Artemis Fowl II" written in abnormally neat handwriting for a boy seven years of age. She placed it on one of the speakers of the screen where a goblin was no longer visible. She stuck the earpiece to her ear and was impressed at the amazing quality. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought the three schemers were right beside her.

"Okay, Keeth," Spiro started. "Remind me again why I can't blow that girly captain to smithereens."

Holly could picture Keeth rolling his eyes. "Because, Jon, we have to leave her in perfect condition until we get a Recon and Retrieval squad. We'll say that Holly Short is held for ransom once again at Fowl Manor. The blame will be turned to Artemis Fowl. Do you remember the program I downloaded from the centaur's computer?"

"But you couldn't have beaten Foaly's paranoia," Opal argued. "He invents a new language for every single one of his files. You couldn't have possibly downloaded the bio-bomb program just like that." Opal snapped her fingers in order to stress out the words 'just like that.'

"I have numerous disguises, Opal dear. One of my disguises was a professional warlock who unfortunately passed away before the whole procedure was mechanized. Did something wrong with the lithium batteries. I was surprised that his profile actually existed posthumously. Apparantly Foaly had opened up his file for the warlocks who set up the time field."

"But- well, you don't know a thing about the time stop, do you? It's not all that simple. You have to set up a whole network of receiver dishes around the area. Don't tell me you did that without being noticed by the Fowl family."

"As a matter of fact, you, Opal, are the one who's one step behind the rest of the people. Foaly updated the system. Now everything is done by the computer only. No warlocks, no receiver dishes, no more ruckus around the area. He did it for his own LEP's convenience, but it only made it easier for us."

Opal was satisfied. She couldn't help but let out a snicker of contentment.

"Okay. Eventually the squads will arrive at the estate-"

"Only to find no one there," Opal chimed in happily.

"Exactly," Keeth continued. "For I have set a one hour time stop on that area and a bio bomb will be detonated in ten minutes. While they're inside Fowl's home puking their insides out, we'll lead Holly's fellow friends here instead of the actual manor."

"And we'll go get the Demolishers." Spiro finished for him.

"Yes, that's pretty much it, and after we possess the guns there's no need to say anything about what we'll do." All three fell silent.

Holly couldn't resist a smile. Their plan was overall foolish as foolish can be. Every little fairy knew that a certain twelve-year-old Irish boy had discovered a way to escape the time-stop. Butler would certainly notice that the clocks had stopped and the entire family will each have a swig of sedatives.

"You're all wondering about the blue-rinse, aren't you? I mean, about how Fowl identified a way to slip ever so elusively out of the time field?"

Silence continued. Holly figured that they were nodding. She still had that smile on her face, yet it had waned a bit. While it was nearly impossible that Keeth could outmaneuver Artemis, the way he was bidding his time was causing suspicion.

"I made sure this time that all the clocks are working. Not only the clocks, but the Internet as well. I couldn't do anything about the television, because it was local, but it is highly unlikely that any of the family members will turn on the TV. Their entire family hardly watches anything except finances."

Two faces brightened up, while Holly could feel the color drain from her face. Surely Butler was way too attentive not to notive. Surely. Or was he?


"Hmmm." Butler tapped his wristwatch with a puzzled look on his face. While the rest of the clocks in the manor were indicating exactly 4:45, his watch had stopped at 4:00 sharp. Assuming that the battery was dead, he rummaged through the drawers in his room in search for a small, circular battery.

When he didn't find what he was looking for, he went down a long, long staircase, and after what seemed like forever, he arrived in the living room. Beneath the television screen that was hung on the wall there was a set of small drawers. He found the batteries in the first drawer. As he stood up with the miniscule batteries in his hand, his knuckle inadvertantly brushed the "Power" button on the screen.

Oblivious to the now turned-on screen, Butler devoted all his concentration on replacing the new batteries with his relatively massive hands. After battling continuously with the wristwatch, he finally succeeded. "Yes," he said softly as he looked up at the TV.

There appeared to be a news anchor with his mouth wide open, obviously in the middle of saying something. This scene was captured in a quite undignified facial expression for a news anchor, and at any other time it would have been hilarious. But that was the least of Butler's worries.

After staring at the TV skeptically for a few moments, Butler diverted his attention to the watch once again. It wasn't working.

Butler could feel something ominous in his bones, and his intuition was one that was more accurate than any other fairy. This time, his instincts told him to step out, into the backyard.

I wonder if something something happened to Artemis, he thought, but as he thought it he knew he was wrong. Something very bad was happening to him in this house in when-knows-who, and it seriously bothered him that he didn't know what it was.

"Gee, Timmy." Butler recognized Angeline's voice before he stepped outside. "What happened to all the blue jays and doves and robins? Did you scare them away?"

"Actually, no." Artemis Fowl the First replied, keeping his jolly tone he had gained after healing at the hospital. He had not noticed the absence of the birds until now. "I do wonder where they are. I don't even hear a peep."

Butler's veins pulsed. If what he thought was happening right now, then he only had-(he glanced at the clock) about three minutes to save their lives. He was most certain- almost, he wasn't sure whether it was a hallucination or not- that he saw patches of light blue here and there. He ransacked the entire kitchen searching for edible tranquilizers until the kitchen turned upside down and inside out. He took the steps four at a time to his room and came back with three injections of sedatives Master Fowl had told him to keep just in case. Good old Artemis. Always thinking of everything.

He slid the door of the patio again and came out, being careful to hid the tranquilizers behind his back.

Artemis Senior and Angeline were sitting side-by-side, apparently enjoying some leisure time together. It pained Butler to have to fool them; however, he was fully convinced that it was best to take them unaware, and besides, he did not have time for emotions such as guilt. If what he thought was going to happen was actually happening, that is.

He tried to remember how he shot the sprite in Ho Chi Minh City, before this had all begun. He noticed a visible artery in both of their arms and quickly pressed in the soporific. Angeline immediately fell cold, but Artemis had ample time to turn around and rasp in a hoarse voice, "Butler."

"I'm sorry, sir. I'll explain later." Butler bowed his head.

Artemis closed his eyes. Now Butler had one injection left in his hand. He stared at it, and gulped. He closed his eyes and made the shot, although not exactly in a deft manner; much to his disbelief, it was a frightening experience to pierce his skin on his own even for a man with prodigious strength like himself. He fell sound asleep in about five seconds, his eyes remaining closed.

A few moments later, dead corpses of ants, fleas, and even a couple of mice fell to the floor. A goldfish turned on its belly.


"Foaly?" Artemis's urgent voice emitted from Foaly's earpiece. "You've got to come back. You do remember our plan, don't you?"

Foaly made a show of snorting into his microphone and ignoring him in the most obvious way possible: to keep talking. "Hey, Julius. I can't locate Holly anywhere. She must have forgotten her locator. Funny how she took all her weapons and all, but forgot her locater. Hmm. Isn't that funny, Julius?"

After hearing Foaly receive a grumpy 'Don't call me Julius.' from Commander Root, Artemis continued. "Foaly. I know I sound to you like an all-business man, but this is very important to me. I hope you understand that. Now if you would be so kind as to listen to me-"

"You listen up, Mud Boy," Foaly shot back angrily. "We all hate you, you got that? What's so, 'important' about some lousy plan when you don't have the trust of your allies to be on your side? I'd really like to know that."

Silence followed. Foaly tapped his mouthpiece smugly. "Well? Is our Arty-genius stumped?"

"I don't want to lose her." Artemis mumbled.

"What?" Foaly couldn't believe his ears. "What?!"He blew in his earpiece to make sure it was functioning properly. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, I don't want to lose her!" Artemis shouted before he had the time to pull himself together, then cleared his throat with embarrassment. "I have realized what I've done, but don't take this the wrong way. I do not regret Holly's purposeful abduction, yet I do regret the fact that I did not inform you of that part when I was explaining my plan. I should have received your permission. I did not. I thought I could do everything on my own, as I had done all along as the heir of the Fowl fortune. I was wrong."

Foaly's mouth dropped open. A realization of his lack of morality, on top of the admittance that he was incorrect? Was this really the Artemis Fowl he knew?

"Holly's my friend, as you kindly pointed out for me. As a matter of fact, she is one of the few friends I will ever have. That is the reason I don't want to lose her. We have no other logical choice but to implement our plan. It is not about business, it's not about crime. As fantastic as it may seem, it's about saving the subterranean world along with the one life that I care about. That is, apart from my parents and the Butlers."

Foaly was still gaping at Artemis's monologue. I must be dreaming, he thought as he reached down to pinch himself. It hurt, so it was no dream. There was no way that the boy who was now speaking to him was identical to the person who had abducted a fairy ever so callously for ransom two years ago.

The centaur turned off his speaker before the Fowl boy could add another word. It was inconceivable that the criminal mastermind would be so out of character. The next thing he expected was for Artemis to burst out in tears and say, "I love you dearly, Foaly!"

"What's the matter, Foaly?" Diana asked hopefully. This must be it. He must have forgiven Artemis.

Foaly opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. He didn't know where to start.

"Cat got your tongue?" Diana inquired teasingly. Now she fully knew. This really must be it. Whatever it was that Artemis did, and however horrendous it was, it would all be forgiven. Now she had no interest in the reason for this sudden runaway.

Foaly could barely let out three words. "Artemis has changed."

Root looked up from organizing the numerous gadgets on his belt. "You're getting real weird, pony-boy. You're frightening me. Do you need some food? Are you cautiously asking for a carrot cake? Is that it?"

Foaly gulped. "I'm sorry for all this time wasted, and I'm sorry for having a reality problem. But why don't we go back? Like I said, Artemis has changed."

Of course, now Root got upset with him for being so volatile, but he didn't care; all he could think about at the moment was recording Artemis's little speech and mailing it to the nearest broadcasting center. It was hot news. The world would see it and all feel the same way. That meant something beyond lucre.


The Duplicate of Fowl Manor

Let's cut to the chase here; Holly was desperate. Who wouldn't be in her shoes? She needed a way out, obviously. But more obviously, she couldn't find one. Well, at least the Digi-key and the chair were long gone, and she was sitting on the floor freely. The plan was for Artemis to come for her within 18 hours, but she couldn't spot a hair of the usually punctual Artemis. Which explains why her mind was getting more panicky by the minute and it was showing.

Which is also why she jerked with hope when she heard a mysterious sound beneath her feet. It must be Artemis, she thought, feeling relieved for the first time this day. It miraculously did not occur to her that Artemis was definitely not the first man who would volunteer to dig a tunnel beneath a duplicate of his own house. Or underneath any house, for that matter.

When the floor cracked and split open in a jagged circle to reveal a masterpiece of a solid tunnel, Holly cried out "Artemis!" more delightfully and loudly then she intended to.

The creature inside shook his brown hair. Brown? "Uh-uh. Not Artykins."

The astonishment she felt as soon as Holly saw her rescuer's face could not possibly be expressed in words. "MULCH?!"


BAD REVIEWERS! How DARE you forget about everyone's favorite smuggler, Mulch! As a consequence for no one pointing out that deliberate mistake I made by just leaving out Mulch until now, you get THREE cliffhangers in a row! (this time reviewers are holding machine guns and nuclear bombs) Now now. Don't have to use heavy measures. Why don't you just confess? You hate me. I know it. Of course, in order to do that, you have to review.