Disclaimer: CCO.

Author Notes: Due to the number of people who have said that they are confused, I will include in this chapter a brief summary of what has happened thus far in TToML. Thank you all for the reviews and Happy Belated St. Valentine's Day.

Summery: In the 1970's, the age of the Marauders, Sirius Black and Raven Grey fell in love. Her parents, deeply rooted in keeping the bloodline pure of any sort of taint, viewed him as weak for being a 'muggle lover'. They staged a plot that looked like they killed Raven, but in actuality cursed her back into infancy and stuck her in an orphanage a year into the future. Raven Grey was adopted and named Hermione Granger. Hermione has graduated from Hogwarts, where the Final Battle took place, pretty much friendless and alone. She was sitting in her garden when a teenage Sirius Black appeared in search of his lover/fiancé and after a conversation with Dumbledore, they fought. Essentially, that is all that has occurred.


The Travesty of My Life

Five

My feet touched the hearth and I quickly stepped into the living room, barely containing the magma like intensity of my anger beneath my thin skin. I turned around when I heard him land, eyes narrowed in that dangerous way that always alerted those who knew me best that I was extremely volatile.

One of the characteristics of Gryffindor, I had stopped calling it my House considering I have always thought myself as more of a Slytherin, that continually bothers me is the martyrdom they inflict upon themselves. Indeed, Sirius acted as if the world had placed all of its troubles upon his shoulders and it that everything was entirely up to him to fix.

I forced the raging torrent of liquid hot fury in my veins and slipped into the cool façade stemming from years of social functions, with their saccharine snubs and veiled threats. A faint stab of pity slithered into my heart when I saw the pained expression in his eyes and his dejected stance. I almost reached out to pull him against me, give in to the strange love quickly filling my spirit, before I snapped back to life.

"I have things to do and you being here will not keep me tethered to the house. You will not leave these walls, understand? You know nothing about muggle life. I would very much rather chain you to a bed, completely wandless, than come home and find this place bereft of your radiant presence."

"You expect me to stay here for a month and a half? Listen, I'm not Snivellus…"

My soul grows dark when I think back on my emotions at that moment. Severus Snape was one of the few in our world that befriended me when I was alone. Yes, it seems strange that the greasy git, the sarcastic bat of the dungeons could ever be more than that, but even today he remains one of my closest and most valuable friends. When Sirius snubbed him, the tremulous grip on my temper became too frayed to live and snapped with a resounding force.

My hand, which was holding my wand with cracking force, raised so my wand pointing at him and stood there unwaveringly. "Do not slur Severus Snape before me or you will truly pay the consequences."

He scoffed. "And why shouldn't I? He is nothing but a spineless, weak, selfish bastard." His hazel eyes gleamed for a moment before he saw the hatred leaking onto my features.

"It is not he who is the weak bastard, but you. You know nothing of what he has gone through in his life and I can not believe that I ever got close enough to you to conceive a child." I spat, the more…questionable blood within me affecting my irises so they began to glow a furious, electric violet. "That man you so coldly referred to as spineless and weak thoughtless sacrificed his life for the better good year after year so that the Light might prevail against eternal dark.

That man you so crudely and disgustingly insulted was the only person to hold me when I lost sight of what is pure and good in the world. He saved me from a self inflicted death and showed me that life is worth living. Never speak to me about Severus again; I will always hold him in the highest of regards for all that he thoughtlessly gave. At least my true house is one I can actually be proud of." I growled, the vehemence melting out of me and I had to fight the desire to break down into sobs.

My little rant had brought back images of Harry and Ron's bodies sprawled out on the blood soaked ground, their limbs twisted into odd, gruesomely unnatural angles and positions.

They had given their lives to safe my own and a shiver ran through me as I swallowed back my tears. There was only one living person that I had ever cried upon and he was currently teaching a class to those 'dunderheads' as he so affectionately called his students.

"You were friends with him?" He scathingly spat, eyes growing wide at the very thought. "He showed you that life was worth living? Why don't you just admit that you cheated on me with him? Is the child you at once carried even mine? Were you ever even faithful to me before all of this happened? Were you always a whor…"

"Do no finish that sentence." My tone was emotionless, feelings in check and I would not let a thoughtless prick like him ruin the tentative life I had created for myself. "I have to go out and buy food. Constrictum." A charm slipped from my lips, thick off white ropes springing from the tip of my still lifted wand.

The braided fibers twisted about him in a harsh way, I not bothering to soften them or halt their rough treatment. In my mind, he deserved every burn he received. His balance quickly fled and he toppled to the slightly ashy floor with a resounding slap.

I scowled down at him and stuck my wand into the pocket of my long sweater, grabbing my purse from the coffee table. Without bidding Sirius farewell, I left my house and locked the door. At that point I did not care what occurred with him, he could have rotted away beneath a sofa for all I cared and I would have merely laughed.


At times I thank the gods for magic, especially when the idea of a third hand is needed. It is especially when I am carrying many armloads of things from the car that the ability to spell the objects into floating before me that I am truly glad that I am a witch.

I paused a moment to unlock the front door and horror scratched rusting nails across my skin. The door was half closed, a small sliver of outside light falling into my home and I could just see the entry way tantalizing me.

My concentration on keeping the levitation spell working slipped and the food I had procured dropped faster than a human through water. I ran inside and did a brief search of the house, not pleased with what I found.

I appeared as if my 'guest' had freed himself and left the confines of my land. I leaned heavily against the wall beside the front door and dropped my head into my hands, forgetting about the food sitting in the sun.

'I hope he's all right.' Was the one phrase that kept running through my mind; I was utterly terrified that some hideously unmentionable fate had befallen Sirius Black. As I was nearing the level of hysteric, I heard the faint trills of laughter coming from the garden.

A strange, sudden clarity surrounded me and I slowly looking up. Slowly I rose to my feet and strode towards the back door, throwing it open. Sitting there in the spot I had been reclining in earlier was a blissful looking man.

My jaw dropped slightly as I watched him, surprise overriding the baser instinct to fling something at him. The door slammed behind me and he turned his head.

"Hello there, decided to come back and free the prisoner, are we?"

I strode towards him and roughly smacked his cheek, eyes blazing. "Do you have any idea what you just put me through? I thought you'd run off or been kidnapped! Don't you ever do that to me again Sirius Alastair Black!"

He caught my wrist in one of his large hands, turning it so my palm was facing upwards. "And why do you care so much? I thought you didn't love me."

"Just because…I never said that, do not put such words into my mouth." I ripped my arm from his grasp and hissed angrily at him. "You are not to leave this house, do you understand me?"

"I am no criminal and I will not obey you."

"No, you will remain here."

"You aren't the boss of me."

"Yes I…I am not going to fight with you. Leave if you wish and be murdered within a few seconds, see if I care."

A sneer, one that had marred the faces of those with purest blood, and he turned away from me. Something inside of me broke at that symbolic gesture as I watched him stride up the stairs to the room I had shown him.

I bit down hard on my lower lip and stumbled to the fireplace in the living room, my spirit sobbing for a friendly face. Something faintly warm and moist rained down upon my cheeks, but I ignored it as I flung some glittering, glassy powder into the flames.

"Private Chambers of Severus Snape." I choked and within seconds a dark head appeared in the dancing, hungry fire.

"What is it?" The man snapped, eyes turning upwards and warmth flooding the usually strict face. "Hermione! Love, what is the matter?" He asked in concern upon seeing the salty tracts slipping down my face.

He stepped through the fireplace and pulled me into his arms, gently rubbing my back in a caring way. I pressed my face into his shoulder as I felt my body begin to shake with a kind of grief I had yet to experience.

"Sweetling, why do you weep as if your very soul has been annihilated before you?" He tenderly smoothed some of my hair from my face when I pulled away enough to look up at him.

"It hurts so much." I whispered my voice cracking as I violently fought the raging emotion within me. "I don't understand…"

His coal dark eyes hardened as his lips thinned in disapproval. "That bastard…I'll rip his flea infected body to bits."

I shook my head quickly, more tears oozing from the corners of my lids as my arms, which were wrapped around his waist, tightened reflexively. He threw a questioning glance at me as I drew out of his embrace.

"Please don't. He is the reason I am so despondent, but only he can heal this suffering inside."

"You told me you did not love him as such yet…"

"I thought he had been kidnapped, or worse yet, murdered." My heart clenched at the very thought.

"I believe it would be best if you began at the beginning. I am utterly perplexed."

He gently steered me to the couch, a large hand on my lower back, and I gratefully took a seat as I tucked my feet beneath my rump. My fingers laced within each other and my nails must have been digging into my flesh because he gently pried my hands apart, holding them in his own.

"After returning home from Hogwarts, there were some things I had to do. I didn't want Sirius to come for the muggle world has never made much sense to him. When I returned some hours later the front door was partially open and my mind automatically leapt to conclusions.

It turns out he was sitting in the garden with his feet in the pond. But, in those few horrible moments I felt as if my very life was falling apart in front of my eyes. It took all of my willpower not to collapse and begin to wail. When I found him the sheer relief almost made me faint.

But we began to fight and I wanted nothing more to grab him and tell him how much I cared…But he asked me why I cared and I became so afraid." I turned haunted eyes up to him, the deep mahogany hue of them breaking with horrified fear. "I don't think he loves me anymore."

A garroted sob twisted from my throat as I dissolved into soft sobs, drawing my hands from his grasp and cradling my wet countenance in them. For a moment he let me cry, before I felt my knuckles pried away and a digit being placed beneath my chin. Slowly he lifted my face up and he smoothed the tears from my cheeks with slightly rough thumbs.

I sniffled pitifully as I gave into the torrent of more Raven-esque feelings. Time drew to a stand still as I watched in low motion as his face lowered to mine. There was the faintest brushing of skin upon my own before they returned, stronger and more urgent than before.

It took me a half second to realize what he was doing, but in that time my lips had unconsciously begun to return the gesture of affection. I had been starved of any kind of the intimate contact that I craved for so long and such a sweetly tender kiss broke through the arctic walls I had built to protect myself after the twin deaths of my friends.

One of his arms slipped around my waist and the other my shoulders, his palm gently cradling the back of my head. Absently my fingers curled in his silky hair as he pulled me closer, humid waves of contentment rolling through my empty being.

The feeling of having a pair of equally frantic and needy lips crushed against my own filled a void within me that had remained unfilled and dead for so many years. In the farthest reaches of my grief befuddled mind I knew that what I was doing was wrong.

It felt as if I was betraying Sirius in the most horrible of ways. But not even that thought could dissuade my more primal need to feel love, emotion, when I was so struck with the idea that the one I truly cared for did not care for me.

"Severus…"I whispered throatily, momentarily breaking the contact between us.

He seemed too enthralled with the heady nectar he had sampled and rapidly reapplied the pressure to my mouth, eagerly swallowing the little sigh of pleasure that escaped from me.

How could I deny him when he so clearly had feelings for me and the one's arms I wanted, if only my subconscious which I later realized was Raven realized, to be safely ensconced in and be kissing apparently did not want me?

The pressure on my lower back slid lower and the tips of his fingers brushed the base of my spine, sending jolts of electricity up the sensitive nerves of my spinal column. I felt him lean into me and my back began to arch as I tried to keep myself from falling backwards onto the plush sofa beneath us.

One of his hands rested on my hip, his fingers lightly pressing into the small pillow that muggles had aptly named "love handles" that seemed almost impossible to burn away. I let out a quiet moan as he nipped on my lower lip, unable to keep the noise within me.

A replying, purr like noise thrummed in his throat as he rested his other hand on the sofa beside me, gently pushing me down. Willingly I did as he bade, letting myself be spread out beneath him.

His mouth left my own and his lips trailed down my chin to the sensitive skin around my ear, liquid fire flaring into life where he touched my flesh. I am unsure of how far we would have gone if we had not been interrupted by a horrified gasp coming from the door way.

"What the hell is going on?" A voice boomed across the room, effectively cutting the exhilarating haze that had surrounded us.

In a fluid motion I pushed him off of me and twisted my torso so I could see the infuriated Sirius glowering not at me, but at Severus. He strode towards us and bodily lifted Severus, holding him tightly by the collar of his shirt.

"How dare you touch her?" He growled, indigo eyes darkening in barely contained fury.

"If you hadn't noticed Black, she wasn't complaining."

"Cause you gave her a potion that fucked with her mind. Why else would anyone ever want to touch you, Snivellus?"

"Clearly time hasn't improved your mental state. Still leaping to conclusions and stampeding into situations with foolhardy bravado."

Their voices had begun to escalate into yells when I quickly rose to my feet, hands clenched at my sides. Sirius might have been my lover and fiancé when I was Raven Grey, but I was an adult twice over and he did not dictate who I kissed.

"Let him go." I snapped; when he merely looked at me, a dark hiss filled the room. "If you do not, you will be extremely sorry."

"But he's Snape…"

"And one of my closest, most beloved friends."

"I could tell…"

"Do not think that you know all when you only saw a moment? You know nothing about my current life, so do not presume that you do. Now let him go." Tangible pulsated around me as infinite blackness the dark curse my parents put upon me so many years ago manifesting itself.

He carelessly dropped Severus and he crumpled onto the sofa. After throwing a rapid, malice filled glare at Sirius, I knelt beside him and gingerly brushed some of his obsidian hair out of his face.

"Are you all right?"

He nodded and continued. "I believe it would be best if I took my leave. I will contact you soon." He lightly brushed his lips against my forehead before disappearing back to Hogwarts.

"How touching…" Sirius drawled.

"Please, Sirius, just shut up."

"Why? I should be the first to congratulate you on your new relationship."

"Severus and I are not in any romantic entanglement."

"The situation I walked in upon would state otherwise."

I dropped my head into my hands as I raked my fingers through my curls, fighting the desire to fling myself at him and beg for forgiveness. "I'm confused." My voice barely made it past the web my interlocked digits made.

"A typical female response." He scoffed.

"You know nothing about women. Please, just leave me alone to think."

"About what? When your wedding will be?" So bitter.

My palms dropped into my lap as I looked up at him, my cheeks still stained from my earlier tears. "No, you silly child, you." I whispered, unable to keep the fondness out of the tones.

How could I? I knew that I truly loved him, but could not. He was dead in current times and falling hopelessly in love with a dead man is never a good thing. I was merely saving myself, at least, that's what I thought.

"Me?" He asked softly, his demeanor suddenly changing. "What is it you need to think about? Your feelings perhaps? Do they outweigh those you have for Snape?" He lightly brushed my leg. "The glorious years we spent together? The child we might have had?"

"Sirius, leave me." Each of his soft suggestions was just another knife blade into my heart.

The warmth evaporated and he left quickly, leaving me alone and empty once again.


Review Responses:

Saint Emo- If you're still confused, ask exactly what is so confusing. I hope the summary clarifies it for you.

Alcapacien: Oh very much so...-grin- It's only going to get worse for dear Siri-poo before it gets better. Just look at this chapter, it musta sucked for him.

Pira Fallen: Thanks, if you remain confused after reading the summary, email me and I'll try and help.

Mojo the Rock Chick Munchkin: She's confused, all those feelings are so new...

Queen of the Insects: A chapter wouldn't show up for almost two weeks, really just irked me.

I hope you all enjoyed, feel free to tell me what you think.

Your Lord and Master;

Foamy the Squirrel