HAPPY 100 REVIEW CELEBRATION-blows out candles in humongous cake and chaos ensues. fireworks fly into the air and the ceiling of my house just sinks in- I know there are tons of people in tons of fandoms who get more reviews then I could possibly receive, but there are just as much who get much less reviews than I do. So the fact that I'm finally over 100 makes me ecstatic! Thank you everyone for your support!
cybergurl: I know! This is just so touching...-bursts into tears- I still can't believe I got this far!
number 423601: Thanks again. :D I think you should write a story. I review one story of every person who reviews my story as long as they're in the fandom I'm familiar with:)
Two reviews. That's lesser than I've ever got in all of history! But today's a special day, so I'll just look over it! Enjoy!
Chapter 20: Action
It's time to introduce a bit of Artemis's arrangements. It has been mentioned before that the LEP's latest gun model 'Demolisher 2004' was not created for violent purposes. Its use was only in destroying obstacles that tend to get in the way and stymie busy LEP people. In order to maintain this purpose, that is, to keep them blasting iron bars instead of civilians, a 'switch room' was made to take control of all Demolishers in use. Switch on, guns activated. Switch off, and the weapons are as good as dead. It was that simple.
Unfortunately, as the Demos were still being repaired, so was this switch room, and this place was located in the clandestine depths that only certain commanders and the Council knew of. Even almighty technician Foaly knew little about this place. Commander Root himself admitted he had seldom been into this room, and even then only with a Council member at his assistance. He grudgingly revealed where the room was, and this was quite a great sacrifice, for the high-tech stuff that only high-ranks could use may be exposed to the public.
So a couple of girls named Holly and Diana were left with the responsibility of prying open an advanced code locking a secret room using their heads and a few wrenches. Not what most people would consider a happy job, but it certainly was exciting for a few exciting girls.
Artemis sighed heavily. "I had high hopes of never putting this schedule of mine into action," he began solemnly. "However, I don't suppose we have a choice. Holly was deliberately kidnapped, and and she brought us some quite valuable information. About our foes' plan, where they are and what they are doing now, about the blue-rinse at my manor... and Foaly, I do assume you will be converting that system back to the five-tower method." Foaly nodded grimly in agreement. "And...well, they're here." As he spoke, his face was ashen with apprehension. He looked so weak and vulnerable that Holly wanted to give him a hug, but Diana did the emotional stuff for her instead.
"Don't worry, Artemis," Diana said soothingly with her arms around Artemis's slim shoulders. "Butler and your parents will be all right. After all, he's quite a remarkable man." She finished with a laugh.
Artemis didn't reply for a few moments, but brushed quite a bit of nonexistent dust underneath his fingernails. "I know," he said, his voice strange and different. "I'm sure they're all doing well." And then he hugged Diana back. Well, maybe he didn't, he just put a hand on her back and drew back awkwardly after a split second. But it was his best attempt for an embrace.
"Foaly, check your virtual sims one last time," Holly commanded sharply. "We do have to play the part convincingly."
This was Foaly's job. The two ladies had to be out there fighting, which was what they would have most certainly done if it weren't for Artemis. Because they must 'play the part convincingly,' Foaly had created a simulated fairy and human that worked both on deluding the naked eye and the camera. Numerous dots of color stimulators were sent into the cones and rods of the goblins' eyes, arranging themselves into an image like pixels on television. Then the facsimiles made from scraps of movies were sent into every camera. The only problem they had was that the lasers the sims were shooting soon vanished into nothingness, but there was nothing anyone could do about that, was there?
Holly narrowed the beam of her Neutrino and concentrated it at a spot somewhere above Artemis's head. A bright orange beam of light carved a square, human-sized hole in the wall. All pairs of eyes moved to watch the section fall. It was an entrance to a small emergency tunnel used formerly as an escape route.
Diana had already changed into her memory latex/camouflage foil suit, and it made her look like a chameleon. The memory latex enabled her to blend in with the surroundings, while the camouflage foil aided her in becoming invisible. "I'm ready," she shouted.
With one curt nod, the duo were inside the tunnel and soon gone.
If one was to ask a person on the streets of Haven,"Goblin versus elf. Who do you think will win?" that fairy would no doubt reply,"Elf." This was an obvious fact, as the intelligence of the common elf greatly surpassed those of the goblins. On top of that, leprechauns had better physical abilities than goblins as well. But a dozen leprechauns against an army of roughly 75 goblins? That was another question.
If most elven beings had a temper, then these green, scaly creatures had something called lunacy. They were told to use their fireballs as a weapon until they get these silver shiny things. And in fact, that's what they did, because no matter how much of a lunatic they can be, they can also become very obedient. The goblins threw hundreds of fireballs, and thanks to their fireproof suits, the officers didn't get so much as a scorched finger. However, when they finally received their silver shiny things, matters started to change.
Most of their Neutrinos were discarded, for they were rendered useless due to the giant balls of fire closing in on their guns. That was another of the orders given; "Crush silver shiny things that look different from yours." Of course the LEP officers wore certain suits that could repel just about anything, but that could only accomplish so little. Obviously they had their magic, but that also had limitations. Yet all they culd rely on were their suit, magic, and last but not least, their instincts.
And there were the people whose values had depreciated into Artemis Fowl's least favorite people, cackling evilly like a bunch of villains in a superhero comic book. Usually, then was the time when the main-character-superhero zoomed in to rescue the world...
Spiro just smiled as he saw an officer fall to the floor, clutching his chest in exhaustion. He patted the tiny camera affectionately. It gave him bliss.
"This is much better than I thought it would be," Keeth said. "This is a riot. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
"You can say that again," Opal agreed as he eyed Trouble(who fortunately still had his Neutrino and buzz baton) shooting with expert dexterity.
"Wait a minute," Keeth suddenly blurted. "This is strange. How come everybody's just knocked out? I mean, this is an advantage for my fellow goblins, but what about the LEP? Come on, we need some action!"
"We don't want any casualties," Spiro answered absently. "I do not stick to such sordid crimes as murder; and neither do you. The only person I want to kill is Artemis Fowl, who is probably already dead. Correct?"
Keeth's eyes flickered for a moment, but it was barely noticable. "That's right," he managed finally.
Spiro turned his eyes coolly to the screen. "I don't want murder to be on my long list of misdeeds. I can get away with everything-except homicide. Understood?"
"Yes," Keeth replied. "And that must be Commander Beetroot and the blond Mud Maid."
Three figures huddled around the miniscule screen. Sure enough, a girl fit, tall, and supermodel thin was waving a gun in the air, and it looked as if she knew how to use it. A shorter, plump male fairy in the same olive green suit as the rest of them stood with poise.
They watched as Juliet aimed carefully at a goblin who was shaking his head and licking his eyeballs and waving his pistol-all at the same time. What they saw next made them completely lost for words.
"How did that happen!" the three demanded.
"Ooh, she's beautiful," Juliet exclaimed, eyeing the Demolisher held in her hand. "And clever material, too." She watched in awe as the supple material shifted and hardened to fit her grasp, and the trigger was placed just within her reach. It was then she looked up with a frown, twirling a strand of blond hair between her fingers. "But what I don't get is why Holly and Diana have virtual sims to do the hard work, and we have to do the dangerous things ourselves."
Root held the gun firmly as he replied. "You're right. This is dangerous. Which is exactly why you're doing it."
Juliet considered it. "I guess so."
"If Foaly were to make a replica of you and you were to watch it shoot people, you would have at the very least body-slamed him. You would have said this was your area, and you didn't need any stupid duplicates of you doing it for you instead."
"I guess so," Juliet repeated.
"But you're still going to whine and complain about how life is unfair, even though deep down inside you're actually quite interested."
"Yes, definitely," Juliet replied defiantly.
Root raised his eyebrows; then his face turned into something resembling a smile. This was something that happened just once in a decade, the expression on the commander's face that most LEP officers were currently betting 500 dollars(converted to human currency) on the first person to ever see it. "Right. Let's go."
"Fine with me," Juliet nodded, running at a steady pace."
"Juliet," Root said sternly. "Wear your helmet."
"Oh, boo," the teenage girl pouted. "I can aim better than the helmet itself."
"I don't doubt it, but I'm asking you to wear the helmet for protection, not aiming." Root said. "I like you Juliet, I really do. But I'm not so sure if I'll still like you once you've got a bullet in your head due to your irresponsibility."
"Fine," Juliet obeyed, placing the helmet over her ponytail. "There. I see a goblin. Hey, he looks like a lizard from close up."
"Okay. I see him too. Shoot it."
"Stupid helmet," Juliet muttered as she adjusted the helmet screen to Polaroid. What for? Just for fun. I mean, come on, how could twenty-first century archery be entertaining with such lack of challenge? She aimed her gun straight at the pistol of the goblins own. He fell, rather, he blasted down the aisle and landed on the wall with a sickening crunch. Juliet thought she actually heard a small gasp of three people somewhere; but that was not the point at all.
"It worked," The younger Butler's mouth was a grim slash. "Can't Arty be wrong for one second?"
"Must I remind you that if Artemis was indeed incorrect, you would be a flat MudGirl pancake on the wall as that lizard, or perhaps dead?"
"No, you needn't," Juliet murmured. "We must thank and worship Artemis once again."
Theoretically, if a laser dart emitted from the Demolisher met with a pistol, the shooter could knock a victim against a wall severely necause of the great impact. Holly had yet again pointed out that Artemis was risking an awful lot on mere theory, but Artemis had kindly explained that he had done a quick mental experiment in his head, relevant to something about kinetic energy and launched into a lecture of physics that only he and Foaly could understand. The conclusion was: it worked. So the others went along with it. A determined Fowl always gets his way.
"Speaking of Artemis," Juliet thought aloud. "I think there's something between the two of them. Something extremely special."
"Who do you mean by the two of them?" Root asked.
"You know!" Juliet scowled, obviously disgusted at how thick some males could be. "I mean him and Mademoiselle Choi."
"Ah," Root said thoughtfully. "Actually, come to think of it-" he broke off as he saw Juliet staring straight ahead solemnly, and he followed his gaze-
"Never mind," Juliet said. "Let's talk about that later. It was just a thought. Now keep your attention on the little green creatures over there, because I have a feeling that we're going to have to do some serious shooting tonight."
Crappy ending, I know. But plenty of humor! R and R!
