Okay, whose bright idea had it been to go past the park? It certainly hadn't been Ron's. No, all he had wanted to just go ride throughout the neighborhood, completely minding his own business. Not watch Kim and Eric play on the swings. Now that was just all kinds of sickening. Oh, no. He did not have to watch this. He could just leave, and Kim would never know he had been there. And everything would be fine.
Man, was it always so disgusting to watch real couples really kiss?
He could just leave. Just move the scooter past the park. They probably couldn't see him, not at the angle he was at. All he would have to do is keep moving. Especially with the chance this particular kiss might last a long time. A very long time.
"Just move, Ron," he whispered aloud. "Just keep moving. It's none of your business who Kim dates."
That was a lie. He was her best friend. He probably had some sort of weird authority over all of this. And… the new guy. Kim was kissing the new guy. Right there. On the swings. How cheesy was that?
His fists squeezed the scooter's handles, embedding all those lovely little plastic tread marks into his skin. Maybe they would rub off on that Eric kid's face if he punched him.
For crying out loud, was this kiss every gong to end? And why was he thinking about punching Eric? Eric was a nice guy. Probably. He didn't deserved to be punched. Oh, no.
But it was still there. The approaching darkness was having no effect whatsoever on Ron's vision. It might as well be spotlights and glitter and neon signs pointing to that little spectacle.
Kim on the swing, arms around Eric. Eric on next swing, arms around Kim. Lips together and swing chains all tangled up. That was so not right. Not right at all.
Kill Eric, Ron thought. Kill Eric. He already felt the death rays beaming from his eyes. But they weren't hitting Eric. Why wasn't Eric a rotting pile of ash yet? Why not?
Ron glanced at his watch. It had only been three seconds. So Eric had opened up some sort of sick time warp so he could get his dirty paws all over Kim… no, this kiss wasn't that bad. Innocent.
She was still kissing the new guy. Stupid new guy.
Immediately Ron reached down to the sidewalk. Something. His fingers slid over the chalky, cool surface of a stone. Nice big one. Felt comfortable in his palm, at least. Not too heavy, but not too light, either. He could get good distance with this. Oh, Mr. Ullman would be toast.
No. He tried to make himself let go of the rock. He might hit Kim. No. He checked their positions again,. Eric was conveniently blocking Kim. Boo-yah. This was perfect.
Truly fate had led him to the playground. He was supposed to see this. It was his destiny. It was his destiny to destroy Eric Ullman! He choked back the evil laugh he almost threw. What was with that? He never did evil laughs. Never.
But now…
He raised his arm, the rock tight between his fingers. He reeled back, thinking of all those things various Little League coaches and P.E. teachers had yelled at him over the years. So now he could get the right position.
Wait a second. He blinked. This wasn't his business. Why was he caring? It wasn't like he was in charge of Kim or anything. And Eric probably was a nice guy. Better than Josh Monkey. He should be happy for her. This was great. She had a prom date. And someone to kiss.
And a boyfriend.
He sighed. Why was he caring? He tried to shut his eyes. But it was still there. Kim. Kissing a guy.
That didn't mean he had to throw the rock.
But it was too late. Suddenly his hand was free, tasting the chilly air of the night. And the rock was free, too, sailing gracefully and forcefully through the air like some bright meteorite of doom.
Oh, dang, it really was going to smash into Eric's head!
Nope. The rock missed by a good twenty feet, instead slamming into the side of the plastic trash bin. And knocking it over with a deafening crash. Newspaper and snotty tissues everywhere.
Kim and Eric broke, startled, from their kiss.
Ron swore, hopped back on the scooter, and headed quickly the other direction. She better not have seen him. She better not have seen him.
Kim didn't know how long the kiss would have gone on. Forever, hopefully, if fate had any kindness at all. But it barely seemed he had kissed her then that crash made her jump, and suddenly Eric was no longer kissing her. The trash bin was on its side.
"What the heck?" Eric said softly, staring at it. "How did that happen?"
"Raccoons, maybe?" Kim wondered aloud. The park seemed empty. No raccoons there. She looked to the sidewalk, now barely visible. All she could see was a hazy figure on… She shook her head. No, it couldn't be.
"Kim?" Eric asked, touching her hand. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine," she replied. "I just thought I saw someone."
Eric raised an eyebrow, smiling. "So… you think we have spies? Now I'm embarrassed."
"I just hope it wasn't the tweebs. I have these obnoxious little brothers, and the last time I went on a date they did this. It's just so irritating. Well, if you find pictures of us plastered all over the Internet, don't be surprised."
Eric burst out laughing. "Thanks for the warning."
Kim smiled. Eric was such a good guy. He ever got her to kiss, more than a peck, on the first date. She had never done that before.
What was with her lately?
Eh, maybe this was what real twitterpation felt like. Even more than she had ever felt for Josh.
Ron was on a roll that night. He managed to slam two doors, the front one and the one to his room. So that made three in a twenty-four hour period. Yes, he certainly was on a roll. But he didn't have time to really relish that fact.
"Rufus!" he announced loudly. "We must make plans to rid the world of Eric Ullman! And Josh Monkey!"
Rufus rolled his eyes, but struck a defiant hero pose.
Now that was worth a picture. If Ron cared to do that.
He fell onto his bed, mind once again whirling. Why was he feeling this way? He hadn't even been this furious with Josh. No, Josh had certainly never been this worthy of jealousy. He hadn't been jealous over Josh, had he? No. So he certainly was not jealous of Eric.
He grabbed a notebook from his desk and scribbled "Eric Ullman" onto a sheet of paper. If only he had something in here with which to burn it.
No. He was not going to go all pyro over this. Though it would be fun. He just shredded the papers instead, watching them sprinkle to the carpet.
"Oh, yes, Eric," he muttered. "You are going down."
He really should get himself checked on.
He lay there for a almost half an hour, staring at the paper scraps. This made no sense. The feeling wasn't going away. It just getting worse and worse. Oh, it was just ridiculous.
It was Eric's fault. It had to be.
Finally, he grabbed the phone and pushed the speed-dial button. He only programmed one in. Kim.
"So this is where the famous Kim Possible lives," Eric said as they approached Kim's house. "Not quite what I expected."
She squeezed his hand. She loved the way hers felt in his. "What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. Just something a little… different. Like maybe a secret metal fortress or something."
"A secret metal fortress." If only her dad were allowed to build one and move the entire family in. Then his life would be complete. "Oh, come on. Eric, I'm just completely normal. Completely average."
"You're not average."
"Just because I save the world on occasion—"
"No, it's not that."
Oh. Her heart melted.
He once again turned to his shy self. "Well… I guess I should drop off here. No offense, but I don't want your dad to kill me."
She laughed. She could already see him through the window, still reading the paper. Clearly, he had no idea she was out here, coming up the sidewalk. With a boy. Oh, the horror. Tim and Jim were probably already snapping photos. "Actually, I think my dad might like you."
"Yeah, but not on the night you were supposed to be with friends."
"That's true." They were still out of distance from the house. "But here… here is fine." She wasn't getting nervous now, was she?
"Yeah… well, I'll call you later about prom? It's only…"
"Next weekend." Wow. She didn't even have a dress. "I guess we have a lot of planning."
"Don't worry, we'll get it done." He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll you tomorrow in school, okay?"
Her face had to be bright red now. How humiliating. But maybe Eric thought it was cute. "Yeah. See you tomorrow."
Somehow she managed to enter the house without using consciousness.
"Hey Kimmy!" her mom called from the kitchen, where dishes were still being done by the sound of it. "How were your friends?"
Friends? Oh yes. Her little lie. "Great. We had fun."
"Ron didn't twist his ankle falling over the park bench again, did he?"
Ron. Who was Ron? Oh, of course. She entered the kitchen, trying to seem casual. "Actually, Ron wasn't there."
Her mom stared at her, eyes wide, and the plate she was drying almost smashing to the floor. "You did something without Ron?"
"Yes." Her mom was giving her one of those looks. "He had homework tonight."
"Oh. That does make a difference. He can't fall behind in school. He probably missed out on a lot, though. Poor guy."
Kim met her mother's eyes. Something was wrong here. "You know he didn't come!"
For a moment her mother tried to maintain the stare, but broke it off with a sigh of defeat. "Yes. I was just curious. He actually called four times while you were out."
Ron usually wasn't that desperate. And she hadn't been gone for more than an hour. Why would he do that?
The figure speeding away from the playground flashed back into her mind. Unless…
"Thanks, Mom!" She sped up the stairs into her roomjust as the phone rang again.
Ron, of course. She grabbed the phone and flopped onto her bed. Try and stay calm. "Hey—"
"You were on a date with Eric." The harshness was so biting she wondered if he had gone evil again.
"Aha!" He wasn't going to psych her out. "So it was you at the playground!"
Silence. "You saw me?" Whatever power had been there previously erupted away in a wave of the usual Ron.
She sighed. "Yes, Ron, I saw you. You weren't hard to miss." Strange. It almost felt like she was supposed to be joking around with him right now. "And would you care to explain why you followed me?"
"Bonnie put me up to it?"
Bonnie. She rolled her eyes. "Ron, why would Bonnie put you up to something like that?"
"Monique, then?"
"Ron!"
She heard something smash over the phone line. Something big. "Okay, okay. I was just out for a ride. I needed fresh air."
When exactly did Ron ever need fresh air? "You were spying on me!"
Something else hit the floor. "Well, you were kissing Eric!"
That was true. For a moment her heart remelted. "Actually, he kissed me."
"I so did not need to hear that."
"I…" That was true. Ron didn't care about any of this. This was something she should be gossiping about with Monique. Definitely not Ron. "Why are you upset about this?"
"I'm not upset!" His voice was louder than ever.
"Ron, you're throwing things around your room."
"I am not."
"I can hear it."
"Er… that's Rufus."
She sighed and shook her head. What was up with him? "Ron, do you need to lie down?"
"I'm already lying down," he replied. "And I'm not throwing anything." Something else crashed. "You know, you didn't have to go the prom with Eric, just to be nice."
For a moment all she could do was hold the phone. What the? "I wanted to go with Eric. He asked him, and he was very sweet about it, and he's a nice guy."
"Is that why you were kissing him?"
"Why do you care who I kiss?"
"I don't! I'm just saying you don't have to go to the prom with him. I mean, I could have taken you if you had really wanted me to."
She couldn't help herself. She just had to laugh. It went out for a long time. Meanwhile, Ron through something else. "Ron, are you asking me to the prom?"
More silence. "No."
No? Something flicked against her heart; she shook it away. Ron was just upset because he wanted her attention. "Ron, I promise I'll go do something with you this weekend. But I'm not going to the prom with you."
"This weekend? You sure you won 't be with Eric?" His voice dripped with venom.
"I promise. We'll go get food and maybe see a movie or something. Or play video games, if you want."
"Really?" A note of hope shot into his voice.
Dang, but he could be easy to please. "I promise."
"Good. Just Team Possible."
"Of course."
Even more silence. Did he gave something else he wanted to say?
He finally ended with a sigh. "Listen, Kim, sorry I kept calling. But I gotta go now. Finish some homework. See you tomorrow."
"Bye, Ron." She hung up the phone. What was with him? He didn't really want to take her to prom, did he? He wasn't jealous of Eric, was he?
Oh boy. She sat up, staring at the wall. Ron couldn't be jealous. Not for anything more that attention, at least. He couldn't be.
She almost smiled.
Ron stared at the phone for a long time after hanging up. Rufus was asleep on his pillow, completely oblivious to the random items scattered haphazardly through the room. Eh, like his room was ever clean anyway.
It hadn't worked. Kim was still going to the prom with Eric. Oh, Felix was going to get it. He and his stupid ideas. Though, looking back, Eric really hadn't seemed to care.
He lay back down, trying to relax. Okay. So Kim was going to a really big dance with a guy. Like he and Kim would ever go to a big dance together anyway. They weren't like that. Were they? Besides, it had been Felix's idea.
But he still had to go. Just to… keep an eye on Kim. Yeah. That was it. Who could he ask?
He grabbed the phone again.
A gruff voice answered after four rings. "Hello?"
Much of Ron's nerve failed him. "Hi… Is… Monique around?"
The male voice seemed to growl. "And may I ask who is calling for my baby sister?"
Oh man. Her brother. He tried not to scream. "I'm Ron. Ron Stoppable. A friend of hers?"
"Just a friend?"
"Yes. I promise. Just a friend."
The dude seemed to relax. Slightly. "I'll get her. Monique!"
Ouch. It was right in Ron's ear.
Thank goodness Monique was quick to grab the phone. "Ron?"
"Hi, Monique." Now this sounded weird.
"Hi. What's up? And why are you calling me this late?"
Was she going to agree to this? Monique was a pretty girl. Maybe she already had a date. "I need a favor."
Her voice sparked up. "Did you win free wrestling tickets and need someone to go with you?"
"Not exactly…"
"Oh." Her excitement dropped a good several levels. "Then hurrying up and tell me why you are bothering me this late."
"Will you go to the prom with me?"
Dead silence. He hoped to heaven her brother hadn't overheard that.
"Ron, repeat that."
He took a deep breath. "I need a date for the prom."
She started laughing.
This wasn't good.
"Hang on," she said. "I just got beeped."
Better not be someone else to ask her.
She was back in seconds. "Ron, it's Kim on the other line!"
"Well, just say yes and you can talk to her. Please, Monique, I'll do anything. You're my only hope."
"For what, exactly? Oh no. No way." She laughed. "This isn't about Kim and Eric, is it?"
"…no."
She shrieked again, that horrible girlish thing. "No way! I mean, she just mentioned you, just barely."
Ron's heart skipped a beat. "What?"
"Yeah. She just called and told me that you had kept calling her and… oh, never mind. She's not under a microchip again, is she? Because you and that girl were just dang hilarious last time."
"Monique, please just go to the prom with me."
"I will, if you buy me wrestling tickets, next time there's a match. Oh, never mind that. Sure, I'll go with you. But if Kim kills me, you're joining me."
"Fair enough." Boo-yah. Ron Stoppable had a date.
Drakken was far too obsessed with his little toys, Shego observed. Far more than was healthy. Not good. Not good at all. But it was entertaining for her. Just as long as he didn't go overboard and ruin the one thing that might actually work due to overcare. Heck, he didn't even hear the doorbell. And she wasn't going to answer it anytime soon.
So he could just go on polishing and polishing.
But that bell certainly was getting annoying.
"Dr. D," she said loudly. "I think you have a visitor."
He was humming something badly off-key.
"Dr. D!" she shouted. "The door!"
He looked up at her, blinking. "The door? Well, why don't you answer it?"
"Make me."
He sighed. "Shego, I have work to do. Please?"
She rolled her eyes. "Fine." She picked up the remote and pressed the button that opened the door.
Eric Ullman walked in, yawning and drinking a slurpy. "Hey, everyone. Don't worry, I brought everyone slurpies. They were on sale. There's banana and mixed berry." He held up the drink holder.
"Ooh." Shego smiled. This was one of the better guys to work with. "I'll take the mixed berry."
He offered it to her and bowed. "Sorry, but I took the blue raspberry for myself. I guess that leaves Dr. Drakken with the banana."
"But I hate banana," Drakken said, making his way over to accept the slurpie. "So, Eric, do you have a date for the prom yet?"
Eric laughed. "Of course I do. I met this lovely blonde…"
Drakken's jaw dropped. "You were supposed to ask Kim Possible."
Eric rolled his eyes, while Shego choked back a laugh. "I'm kidding!"
"Well, if you keep kidding like that, I'll have to find someone else who wants to make some quick money for college."
"Lighten up," Shego said, shoving Drakken in the shoulder. "He's got little Kimmy."
"You know," Eric said. "She's not bad looking. Of course I prefer blondes, but she's not bad. Cheerleaders are always good. Plus, she's completely fallen for me." He held up his hand, grinning. "That one-time chemical you gave me really did the trick."
"I actually came up with that," Shego said. "Nothing horribly extreme, just enough to slightly get the emotions going. Not like that awful emotion chip thing."
"Yup. I just shook her hand. Though, I think she was interested in me before that." He shook his hair. "I just put on the shy new guy routine, and she was completely hooked."
"Good, good." Drakken rubbed his hands together. "So everything is ready for the prom?"
"Prom night will go perfectly," Eric said with a sneer.
SHOUT OUTS!
Akili-chan: Yippee! Another Idaho person! Well, glad you like the story. I just thought Ron can be very whiney—and why not make Felix the victim?
Classic Cowboy: Thank-you so much!
Frosty Pickle Juice: Thanks!
fryfan: Yes, poor Ron and his guilt. Glad you liked Felix. I just love Felix, so he had to have a camoe, even if it was just over the phone. I plan to marry Felix. I really will have to read your fic!
kimnronever: Yes! He has cute freckles! How can you not love freckles? They're so darling. And he's the nicest guy in the world. Stupid, stupid Kim. Gah, I can't wait to see him be all jealous in this movie.
LJ Fan: Well, I think I just confirmed Eric's alignment—but you get cookies for spotting it first! Yay! Well, as far as I know, the show is not being cancelled. They better not do that, especially since I hear the UK has already seen it. Curse them. Every place I have gone to has said nothing about canceling it. But if they do… wanna storm Disney Channel studios with me?
xPussyWillowKittenx: Heck, I've thought they should be a couple ever since the very first day my sister made me watch the show all those years ago.
