number 423601: Thanks, and a late Happy Birthday to you! -sends a positively gargantuan birthday cake with a nuclear bomb inside-

baudelaireobsseserVFD: Hello! Are you from the Series of Unfortunate Events fandom? Keep reading, please!

I am reposting chapter 25 with many changes. Just thought you might like to see it.


Chapter 26: Farewells

Things happened quickly. Far quickly than they were ever meant to be.

The police were highly confused to see the supposedly dead, one-time criminal Keeth Gates complying with a relaxed, almost soporific look glazed on his face as they shipped him off to Howler's Peak. Some even believed him to be drugged, but even at hearing this he did not even throw a retort, but simply closed his sleep-deprived eyes and dropped into what looked like a deep sleep.

It was Opal who met up to their expectations. Her mood swings were getting worse by the second and her mind was like a roller coaster swirling up and down a curvy rail. She was grinning uncontrollably at one moment; her voice broke into hysterical shrieks the next. With the help of several other officers, the LEP managed to haul a kicking, screaming, swearing pixie into the ambulance which led to the NLE hospital.

Only a selected few knew the whole story, and it would surely be that way forever. Even Dr. Argon was forced to turn back when he appeared at the doors of Police Plaza, pleading for some data to write his latest report about Artemis Fowl. "You've never kept me out of anything like this!" The flustered doctor shouted as the door was slammed in front of his face. "And it will all be for the worst of you all!"

And what to become of Artemis Fowl? He was definitely not, nor will he ever be the same to the boy he had been when he had first embarked on this journey. He had received an humongous sundae of morals with a touch of whipping cream of humor on it. The delightful little cherry perching on top of it all was of course, a ball of emotion of all his friends and Diana.

Holly had offered to mind wipe both his parents so that they will not be suspicious of his absence, but at this, Artemis shook his head vehemently. A flat no. "I do not want to hide anything from my parents any longer. They have a right to know everything about their son. From now on, I am truly going straight until I am over the age of eighteen. No mischief from now on."

"But," Holly had gasped in horror. "Surely you won't say a word about us?"

"Oh, no. Of course not." Artemis had replied with a wink.

"Hmmm," Holly thought aloud running her hand through her cropped auburn hair and smiling. "Artemis Fowl without mischief. I don't see how that'll work out, but I know it won't be pretty." And they both laughed.

Spiro's wounded corpse was buried above ground by a troop of disguised warlocks. He had no one to care for him, nor anyone to care about his whereabouts, so that turned out to be nice and smooth with no problems at all- well, maybe just one. One of the warlocks claimed to have been frightened right out of her skin because of a dwarf under the ground performing a superb cyclone and dissapearing again into the hole he had created, howling, "Just thought I'd let you keep your precious memories about me!" Anyone could assume who he was.

And alas, the time had come: the time to say good-bye. This was not a farewell of tears as it is always expected to be. On the contrary, it was cheerful as it was a parting of two families that were to meet again.

"We all hope to see you soon, Artemis." Root had said sarcastically. "We're all just dying to know just what kind of trouble you'll cause next time."

"Hey, don't be so hard on him," Foaly retorted, munching a carrot that was in between his two fingers. "After all, he did say he was going straight."

"I know better than to trust Artemis Fowl," Root snarled menacingly, which made everyone present burst into peals of laughter.

"Good-bye, Juilet," Holly smiled. "Here's the DVD I promised. Gnome wrestling. Maybe you could tell me what you think about it."

"Sure, when I see you next time," Juliet replied, smiling back. "There is a next time, isn't there?"

"Of course there is," Holly snapped. "And the next time and the next next time, and someday we'll all gather round to cheer-"

"And we'll continue until the day comes when fairies and Mud Men finally unite," Artemis finished for her. "Save the dramatics for later, Holly."

"Oh, I see who won't be getting a Valentine's Day card."

"See if I care, Miss Short."

"My cards are different you know, they've been sent generation by generation since my great ancestor Cupid."

"Yes, I agree." Artemis interrupted her with a wave, and turned back to the shuttle port with Juliet and Diana by his side. When the two girls were inside, Artemis made a move to go in too, but hesitated as if being reminded of something. Then he slowly turned back.

"Am I right in thinking, Holly, that when we meet again, we will be acquainting each other as friends?"

"Yes, Artemis," Holly answered, unable to contain a thin smile. "This is goodbye, but not for the last time."

"Then, of course, we must shake hands," Artemis said, walking back and snatching Holly's hand firmly, shaking it up and down.
"Yes, yes. Save me the formalities." Holly muttered.

"Thank you for awaking the spark of decency in me, Holly."

"Thank you for making my life somewhat interesting, Artemis. Although I must say it was a bit too dangerous to be considered interesting."

Artemis laughed. "I don't think I'll be forgetting you for a long time. Never in a million years."

"You know, you don't technically live for a million years..."

"It's called humor. Mud Man humor."

"Oh. I see."

Artemis let go of her hand and walked down the rally again. He gave a final wave as he stole a look at each of them. Root, Foaly, Holly, and Trouble, who had been quiet all this time staying uncomfortably close to Holly. He stepped into the door, never looking back again.

Then the shuttle left.

"Well then, that we are all done with," Root said, clapping nonexistant dust off his hands. "I think it's back to telling off goblins for both of you. The end of the fun life."

"I'm not sure," Trouble groaned, stretching his arms in chronic fatigue. "After that mess, I don't think I want to associate with goblins ever again."

As Root and his favorite officer bickered back and forth, Foaly remaining beside the commander with a bemused look on his face, Holly managed to stay back without being noticed. She needed to check something.

It was then that she finally opened her palm and tipped two tiny things into her other hand. One was, she recognised, the coin with a hole in the middle that she shot in the Arctic. The other, however, was a slightly yellow parchment. With excitedly trembling fingers, she unfolded it.

Inside was a note written with recognizable, incredibly neat handwriting. "To a decent friend, until we meet again."

Already grinning, Holly folded the note and placed it carefully in her breast pocket. Root was wrong. As usual, the beginning of something always began at the end.


Tear, tear. Only three chapters left!