A Mask of His Former Self
GIR ran to an apartment building with The Mask in his arms. Now I suppose you're wondering what happened to Zim's previous base. Well let's just say that his house was destroyed by a certain paranormal organization bent on world conquest! But we'll get to that later. Right now let's see what Zim is doing…
Zim took a few careful sips from his 3rd cappuccino, trying to ignore the pain as the black watery, substance went down his throat. He then directed his attention to his computer. After the Swollen Eyeballs destroyed his home, Zim had sworn revenge on the shadowy organization. He got a job as a midget cubicle drone for one of their companies, hoping to uncover more information. That was 28 years ago. Now he was just in the job for money and he simply drank coffee because it was the only thing that could keep him awake. The job was slowly driving Zim up the wall. His co-workers made fun of his height (which hadn't increased since Skool), the working hours were too long, his cubicle smelled of human filth and worst of all was…
"Hi Zim!" a cheery voice from the cubicle beside him cried…Keef. As if to add to Zim's misery, one of his co-workers was the over cheery Keef. "How you doin'?"
"Horribly."
"Wow, that's great!" Keef shouted.
Among all the things he hated about his job. Keef was the worst. It was like sitting next to a piece of gibberish. Zim longed to destroy him. But destroying a co-worker was against company policy. "Keef, please try to keep your voice down. Before I replace your eyeballs…again."
"You got it buddy!"
"Hrrrr…one of these days I'm going to…going to…oh forget it." Zim quickly got back to work.
A few minutes later a horrible noise filled the office. "Zim!" a voice boomed from the intercom. "Come into my office!"
Zim groaned. The voice belonged to none other than his boss, Mr. Mollie. "What does he want this time?" Zim wondered as he got out of his cubicle and headed for Mr. Mollie's office. The office of his boss was fairly decorative, with lavish furniture from around the globe. The room itself echoed with class, integrity, and well-mannerism. Mr. Mollie however was the polar opposite. He was vulgar, impatient and very rude and smelly. Zim took a seat in front of Mr. Mollie's desk. "Hello Mr. Mollie. Why did you call me?"
"Well Zim, I'd just like you to know…that I'm decreasing your salary!" Mr. Mollie laughed.
"What! Why?" Zim asked intensely.
"Well I got a splitting pain in my butt and the operation needed to fix it is a bit expensive." Mr. Mollie explained.
"But you're rich! Why do you need the monies of Zim!"
"Mainly because I don't feel like paying with my own money." Mollie said. Zim wanted to protest but was silenced when Mr. Mollie said these words. "If you don't accept, you're fired." Mr. Mollie smiled.
At this Zim would usually say something on the lines of: "You waste of filthy Earth space! Do not dare threaten the magnificence of Zim! For one day I will climb the ranks of this pitiful dirt ball and crush you all! You hear me? CRUSH!" But the years had not been kind to Zim. What he really said was: "Okay, Mr. Mollie." Zim muttered.
"Hehe, glad you see it my way Zim. Now get back to work! Time is money!" Mr. Mollie pressed a button on his desk and a trapdoor opened underneath Zim's chair. Zim screamed as he fell through the hatch. "Oh, I never get tired of this job." Mr. Mollie said to himself. All of a sudden his phone rang. Still smiling he picked it up. "Hello?"
"Don't hello me!" a deep, raspy voice hissed from the other line.
Mr. Mollie gulped. "Why, Mr. Big-Head. What do I owe the honor of the-"
"Can it Mollie!" the caller known as Big-Head shouted.
"Y-yes sir."
"I just wanted to check if our little project is going along smoothly."
"Y-yes, it's all prepared. All you need to do is give the order and our project will destroy President Membrane." Mr. Mollie chuckled nervously.
"Good, good. Hahahahah! But make no mistake Mollie. If this project fails, I will hold you personally responsible. Don't think that being part of the Swollen Eyeball Network, exempts you from feeling my wrath." Big-Head threatened.
"R-right. Goodbye." Mr. Mollie put down the phone and wondered how he got caught up in this business.
(Later…)
Zim grumbled as he made his way up the steps of the apartment building he took residence in. What he wouldn't give to put that "Mollie" human in his place. But what could he do? All of Invader energy that once flowed through his veins like radioactive rubber pants was all but depleted. He no longer possessed the zeal and determination he had in the past. And as he unlocked the door to his apartment he thought of how glad the day was over. Until he saw GIR about to bite a wooden mask. "GIR what are you doing?" Zim asked. The irken quickly snatched The Mask away from GIR.
"I was gonna eat the chocolate!" GIR said innocently.
"GIR! This isn't chocolate." Zim waved The Mask in the air. "It's some sort of wooden human mask thingy… I'm going to throw it away before it infects us with Earth germs!"
"That's okay." GIR said happily.
"DO NOT RESIST…wait, did you say I could throw this Mask away?"
"Yeah, because we can probably get another one on t.v.!" GIR pointed at the television which was showing a rerun of Mysterious Mysteries.
The Mysterious Mysteries episode showed a picture of a Mask. Zim was shocked to see it looked exactly like the one in his hands. "The Mask." The announcer explained. "Is one of the world's most famous legends. Thought to be created in Africa (others speculate it is of Viking nature) The Mask has the amazing ability to give it's wearer anything he or she wishes. Though the user has his/her conscience and inhibitions removed thus turning him into a insane living cartoon, many still search for The Mask to gain this absolute power. Last sited in New York, it's current whereabouts are unknown. But who knows…" the announcer pointed at the camera, as if pointing to Zim. "You might be next." Afterwards the show's credits rolled, and The Mask was still in Zim's hands.
Zim looked down at the wooden Mask in his hands. It didn't look like much. It looked like it would be a better paperweight than a tool for fulfilling dreams. Yet as he continued to stare at The Mask, he couldn't help but notice it was generating an eerie magical glow. Zim wondered what the harm of trying it on was. It was probably a fake anyway. He slowly lifted it to his face, but a split second later The Mask slipped out of his hands, went over his head and landed on his Pak. Then something like an electric storm engulfed Zim's Pak and the irken began to spin wildly out of control. And that's where things got real interesting…
Author Note: When Zim spins wildly when The Mask combines itself with his Pak, he spins like The Mask does when he's transforming.
