Twice the Chaos, Half the Size
Author Note: For those of you wondering what The ZiMask looks like, look back to the bio page. (Cast of Characters) I'm having a friend (The X-plotion) of mine create an illustration of The ZiMask. He'll eventually finish it and post it on deviantART. I'll tell you when, though.
Zim continued to spin with such velocity, that he resembled a spinning green tornado. The twister jerked left, right, forward, behind and all directions in between. GIR and Minimoose stared at it in silent amazement. Actually GIR was eating a taco, but he was silent. When the twister ceased their eyes widened. "Cool!" he screamed through mouthfuls of taco, when he saw the now transformed Zim.
Where the sullen, defeated, and tacky Invader Zim once was, now stood the grinning, determined and oh so stylish ZiMask. The ZiMask was roughly the same height as Zim, had a manic grin on his face, looked almost exactly the same and wore a magenta Zoot Suit. "SSSSmmookkkin!" The ZiMask cried. He quickly zipped to his computer keyboard. "It's payback-time! P,A, Why? Because I just gotta!" The ZiMask quickly typed in a few commands. "Now before I go out to rain some DOOM! I gotta get my self a descent set of wheels!" With a puff of smoke a platform dropped from his ceiling and when the smoke cleared there was…nothing on the platform. "WHAT?" The ZiMask shouted. "Where's my Voot Cruiser?" Then The ZiMask remembered. "Wait, I think I'm getting a flashback!"
(Flashback)
"What do you mean it'll cost 6000 monies to fix my Voot Cruiser?" Zim shouted at the engineer on the communications screen. "I just wanted my boosters cleaned!"
"Sorry, but we-uh found something wrong with your-uh brakes." The engineer said slyly.
"My ship doesn't have any brakes!"
"That's what we're-uh trying to fix." The engineer smirked. "We'll send you the bill."
(End Flashback)
"Oh yeah…those crooked car repairman took it! I gotta get it back!" But then Zim realized he didn't have a ship to reach the engineer's garage, seeing as how it was 10 thousand light years away. "Hmmm…oh I know." The ZiMask quickly whipped out an envelope. Put a stamp on his head and abruptly put himself in it. The enveloped ZiMask turned to his sidekicks. "Guys I'm going where no invader has gone before! Well many invaders might've gone there before, but I bet none of them went there in an envelope!" The ZiMask laughed.
"Cool, can you get me another taco on your way there!" GIR asked.
"Silence! Or I'll give you a paper cut!" The ZiMask threatened. "Whoa look at the time! I better go." The ZiMask quickly took out a large cannon, stuffed his enveloped form inside, lit the fuse and was about to shoot himself into space until…
"Squeak!" Minimoose squeaked, interrupting The ZiMask's launch.
"You don't think this cannon can send me 10 thousand light-years into space? Why not?" The ZiMask asked tensely.
"Squeak!" Minimoose replied.
"Fine. I'll fix it. Sheesh." The ZiMask took out a sticker that read "Ten million times the speed of light" and slapped it on the side of the cannon. "There it's fixed. Happy now?" Minimoose was silent. "Good. Very good. See ya!" With a satisfying BANG the cannon launched "the special delivery" past the atmosphere and into outer space.
After The ZiMask blasted himself into outer space, GIR quickly hugged the t.v. "I love you t.v.!"
(10 thousand light years away…)
Slock the engineer and his brother Mick were enjoying big, juicy burgers in their spaceship repair shop on Planet Con-em' 5. The 2 were celebrating their recent scam's success. They had conned an irken Invader into giving them 6000 monies to fix his non existent brakes. And the best part was that the invader couldn't do anything but pay the price. Or so they thought. Suddenly a flaming envelope crashed through the shop roof. The two con artists were flung from their chairs and soon found themselves on the floor. The ZiMask burst out of the envelope and turned to face the engineers. "Hello boys. Hope I'm not interrupting you. I'm just here on behalf of the health department. Now show me the food!" The ZiMask ordered.
"But we don't have any food." Slock stuttered. He was clearly intimidated by The ZiMask.
"Then you both FAIL!" The ZiMask spun like a tornado and sucked Slock and Mick in. When it ended The ZiMask was holding a see through capsule with the two brothers crammed inside. "The both of you will be sent back to Planet Foodcourtia where you will retake the fry cook test and renew your food handling licenses. Have a safe trip!" The ZiMask put the capsule in a large bazooka and fired.
"But we're not frrryyyyccccooookkkssss!" they shouted as they were shot to Foodcourtia.
"You know…I'm starting to think they weren't frycooks after all." The ZiMask shrugged. "Oh well. Might as well get my Voot Cruiser…and maybe all their money." A few minutes later The ZiMask had found both the money and his Voot Cruiser. But despite being reunited with his beloved ship, The ZiMask seemed discontent. "This is my set of wheels? Impossible!" Then he saw the ownership tag that was labeled Zim. "Okay, so maybe this is my ship…But it could use a few adjustments. Now, get ready you fashion nightmare because you're no mach for…" The ZiMask spun and transformed into an artist looking version of himself. "Snooty Artist Man!" The ZiMask took out a pallet paint set and a paintbrush. He put a hand on the Voot Cruiser before spinning it like a top. The ZiMask proceeded to paint the spinning spaceship. When The ZiMask stopped the Voot Cruiser, it had been completely transformed. The Voot Cruiser was now sleek, fast, had turbo boosters in the back, had flames painted on the side, the cockpit was a deep shade of purple and there was a huge blaster on the hood. The Voot Cruiser had been transformed into (drumroll please…) The Zoot Cruiser.
"Now this is something I'd like to be caught dead driving." The ZiMask (reverted to his usual form) jumped into the cockpit. "Let's get funky." He turned on the hydraulics and put some fuzzy dice on rearview mirror. "Now back to Earth, I'd like to talk to a certain someone who happens to be my boss, who happens to have a girlie last name." He put the Cruiser in "Ridiculously Fast Speed" and flew back to Earth.
Upon reaching Earth, The ZiMask used his ship's radar to find the office he worked in. He immediately rammed the ship into Mr. Mollie's office and casually stepped inside to greet his boss. "Hey Mr. Mollie!" The ZiMask shouted to his now-terrified boss.
"Wh-what do you want?" Mr. Mollie whimpered.
"Well I like your clothes. Mind if I take them? Is that a yes?" The ZiMask tore of Mollie's clothes leaving his employer in his boxer shorts. The ZiMask turned his boss around. "Prepare to gain 21 grams."
"You're gonna kill me?" Mr. Mollie asked fearfully.
"Nah, I said you were going to gain 21 grams, not lose em'" The ZiMask assured.
"Why?"
"Because that's how much this live, hornets' nest weighs." The ZiMask fished a hornet's nest out of his pocket and shoved it into the back of Mr. Mollie's underwear.
"AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!" Mr. Mollie screamed. He began to wildly hop around in pain as the enraged hornets stung his butt.
"Now you really need that butt-fixing surgery." The ZiMask pointed out, laughing as he did so. "You know, I feel both responsible and kinda sorry for your current predicament. So I'll help you out." The ZiMask pressed the "down" button on the nearby elevator. Mr. Mollie immediately hopped inside of it, wanting to put as much distance between him and this maniac as possible. After the elevator doors closed shut, The ZiMask used his x-ray glasses to see how Mollie was doing. "Annnd he's in the lobby."
"EEEKKK! Someone call a cop!" a lady in the lobby shouted when she saw Mr. Mollie in his underpants. A few minutes later Mollie was arrested by the police for slight nudity and animal abuse to hornets.
"Well my work here is done…But first…" The ZiMask logged on to Mr. Mollie's computer. "I think it's time Mr. Mollie gave Zim a raise."
(Meanwhile on the Foodcourtia restaurant Shloogorgh's)
Sizz-Lor sighed. He really needed help with the restaurant. All of a sudden a capsule crashed through the roof and crashed down to the floor. (There seems to be a lot of crashing in this chapter) "What the?" Sizz-lor looked down at the capsule and saw there were two people crammed inside. He picked up the capsule and cracked it open like an egg and the two people spilled out on the floor. Sizz-Lor recognized them immediately. "Hey! You're those two idiots, Slock and Mick who charged me 10 thousand monies to fix my ship!"
"Well, we fixed it didn't we?" Slock said in their defense.
"It broke on my way to work!" Sizz-Lor roared. Slock and Mick gulped at this. Then Sizz-Lor smiled, not a nice smile, but one of those psychotic kinds of smiles. "Luckily for you two, there are a couple of vacant positions for frycooks. So, what do you say? Wanna be frycooks at Shloogorgh's?"
Slock was about to protest, but seeing the Sizz-Lor's psychotic smile he said. "What does the job pay?"
"Minimum wage." Sizz-Lor replied. Mick was going to say no but… "Or would you boys like to see the secret ingredient of our special sauce?" Sizz-Lor added.
"Um, OK we'll take the jobs…we just got 'fired' from our last one." Mick said, recognizing the threat.
"Great." Sizz-Lor grinned. He put 2 Shloogorgh uniforms on Mick and Slock. "Welcome boys." Sizz-Lor pulled his new workers into a painful hug. "Welcome to the Big S." Sizz-Lor laughed. Slock and Mick were laughing to, though it was more like pathetic whimpering.
To be continued…
